Chapter Forty-Nine
After the contest, JT drove Ali home and sat in the car with her. “I didn’t realize how tired I am until now.”
Ali sighed. “Same. All that adrenaline kept me going and now I want a nap. Do you want to come in?”
JT shook her head. “I have to take care of something first.” She could hear how cryptic that sounded, but she didn’t want to get Ali’s hopes up if she wasn’t going to be able to make this work.
Ali’s face betrayed an instant of wariness before she schooled her features. “Is it serious?”
JT shook her head. “It’s nothing to worry about. It’s a work thing that I thought I could put off until after New Year’s. I’ll tell you all about it when I get it sorted out, okay?”
Ali didn’t look at all placated, but she didn’t ask more questions. “Okay. Will I see you later?”
JT shook her head. “Not tonight. But I’ll be back in time for our prize dinner tomorrow no matter what, okay?
I’m sorry. I know there’s more to do on your house and now I’m bailing to go do this thing,” JT said, more to herself than Ali.
“But I’ll tell you everything as soon as I get back.
Okay?” She took Ali’s hand. “You were amazing today. Sorry my mom outed you to the whole fucking town. I hope that’s not going to be a problem. ”
Ali laughed nervously. “I don’t think it matters to anyone.
They were all so invested in Kyle and me and the idea of us as high school sweethearts that I’m sure our divorce was way more shocking to most of them than the idea that I’m not the straight girl they imagined.
” She squeezed JT’s hand. “You don’t have cancer or anything, do you? ”
“What?” JT sputtered. “No. Nothing like that. I promise. I’m not trying to be weird. I will fill you in on everything when I get back.” She sighed. “I really am sorry about the house. You should call Tommy to help you.”
Ali kissed JT on the cheek. “That’s a good idea. See you soon?”
JT nodded. She wanted to say I love you but that seemed unfair under the circumstances. If she couldn’t convince the league to put her in Boston, it would be cruel to string Ali along.
Every time she thought of telling her, she remembered her parents coming to the Olympics and then skipping the final game.
She had to find out after the game, in the locker room, when her siblings texted to congratulate her and she found a text from her parents saying they hoped to see her at Jonathan’s show.
It had crushed her. It would have been better for them to not have come at all than to get her hopes up. She wouldn’t do that to Ali. It was cruel, and even if things didn’t work out with them, she would never be cruel.
JT drove the short way home and took Toby out to the yard with a tennis ball to get her some exercise and give herself some time to think.
They fell into a rhythm that JT found meditative.
She’d take the ball and throw it as far as she could, and Toby would sprint after it, bounding through the snow until she reached the ball, then returning to do it all over again.
Between each toss, JT had time to think as she watched Toby’s enthusiastic play.
Her parents had helped her last night and they’d shown up for her a few hours ago. Was it possible that they’d heard her and decided to change? Or was she setting herself up for another massive disappointment?
Footsteps crunched in the snow next to her. She launched the ball for Toby and then turned to find Jonathan standing next to her, his shoulders hunched forward against the cold.
“Mom says you’re taking off?”
JT bent to give Toby a rub and to wait for her to drop the ball. “I’ll be back. I’m going down to Boston in a few minutes. I’m going to talk to the team, but I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Jonathan watched her throw the ball. “Did something happen?”
JT didn’t know how to answer that, exactly.
Lots of stuff had happened. She’d finally told her parents how she felt about them bailing on her games and never valuing her accomplishments the way they valued Jonathan’s and Emerson’s.
She’d fallen hard for Ali Porter. She’d seen her hometown in a way she’d never expected. A lot had happened.
But that wasn’t how he’d meant it. “Being home this time was different.”
He didn’t fill the silence so she threw the ball again. Her shoulder was starting to burn a little. “Every other year, coming home felt like that time Grandma made me put on that god-awful dress for their anniversary party.”
Jonathan took a minute but then cracked up. “Oh my god, I look at the pictures of you from the party at least three times a week. I’ve never seen an angrier seven-year-old.”
“Yeah. That was the worst. And coming home always felt like putting on an itchy, too small dress with a lace collar. But everyone acted like I was insane or a bad person for not wanting to be here.” She sighed and flipped the ball to Jonathan.
Toby turned in her spot, waiting for him to fling it.
“But this time, I don’t know. The town felt okay, like I could be me here for a change. ”
“This doesn’t have to do with you hooking up with Ali, does it?”
“Of course that’s part of it. But mostly people didn’t treat me like I was a freak for being good at hockey. Little girls were wearing my jersey and telling me about their teams. It felt good to be here.”
“So why are you leaving tonight?”
JT stuffed her hands into her pockets. “You can’t tell anyone because it might not work. I’m going to ask Boston to sign me.”
“You can do that?”
JT smiled. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but your baby sister is pretty fucking good at hockey. So, I can ask. They might say no.”
Jonathan skipped the ball over the snow, and Toby pounced on it and lay in the snow to chew it. “I thought there was going to be a draft. Didn’t you tell Mom and Dad last week you didn’t know where you were going to end up?”
JT nodded. “Yeah. But last week I didn’t tell them I asked the league to put me on any team except for Boston.
Don’t worry, they know all that now.” He made a confused face.
“I didn’t want to feel like shit every time they skipped a game.
It wouldn’t feel bad if they were thousands of miles away, you know? ”
“Oh yeah. I get that.”
JT sighed for what felt like the thousandth time. “But everything feels different now, and I know it’s going to make me look stupid and flaky but I want to see if they’ll put me closer to…”
“Ali. You can say it. We all know you like her.”
JT chuckled. “Yeah. If I’m in Minnesota or wherever, it won’t work. But if I’m in Boston, we have a fighting chance. I’ve never felt like this for someone, and I don’t want to lose that because of geography.”
Jonathan grabbed her by the shoulder and shoved her playfully. “I’m sure there’s a million other ways you can fuck it up.”
JT faked like she was going to tackle him into the snow. “If you weren’t such an old man, I’d stuff snow down your hood.” He tossed a snowball through the air, purposefully missing her. “Anyway, don’t tell everyone what I’m up to. I want to know if it can work before I tell Mom and Dad or Ali.”
She whistled for Toby and walked her inside. “Will you make sure she gets fed? I’ll be back tomorrow, I just don’t know exactly when.”
Jonathan gave Toby a rub behind her ears. “Of course. Good luck with everything. We’ll be here when you get back.”
“Get back? I thought you were just going out for a drink?” JT’s mom asked. She and her dad were sitting at the table having a cup of tea.
“I have to go to Boston overnight. I’ll be back tomorrow. Jonny’s going to make sure Toby is taken care of, so don’t worry.”
Mrs. Cox held her hand down and gave Toby the end of her cookie. “I never worry about Miss Toblerone. She’s my girl, isn’t that right, you sweet thing? What’s happening in Boston that’s so important you have to ditch us after your triumphant win?”
JT rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you all about it when I get back. Bye!” She hurried out the door before her parents could ask any more questions. With any luck, she’d be returning with good news.