Chapter Fifty
Ali was shouting at Tommy before he even got through the door.
“Tommy, she left. We won the contest and she took off!”
Tommy blinked as he entered Ali’s house holding two pizzas and a six-pack of beer. “What do you mean she took off? Did she tell you where she’s going?”
“Yes. She’s going to Boston.”
“And did she say when she’d be back?”
“Before the dinner tomorrow.”
Tommy set the food down on the counter. “So why are you freaking out?”
Ali gave an exasperated grunt. “Because I told her I loved her and then she left!”
Tommy held up his hands. “Wait, you told her you loved her when?”
“Last night!”
“And like eighteen hours later she left and that has you freaking out? Maybe this is a gay thing because I’m not getting it.
” Ali scowled at him. “Were you hoping she would never leave your side? Because if she told you where she was going and when she’d be back and she’s not missing some big important event or anything, what is the problem? ”
“I’m freaking out! That’s the problem!” Ali popped the top off a beer and took a swig. “She was acting so weird during the contest today and now she’s left. Tommy, what if she ditches me? You said she was a flake, right?”
Tommy held up his hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. No way. JT has had her moments in the past, but Ali, you’re not some random girl she met at a party.
I know I said some stupid shit, but I was wrong.
” He leaned on the counter. “I’m sure you already know this, but JT had a crush on you from the time we were kids. You’re her fucking dream girl.”
“Then why did she leave?”
Tommy shrugged. “Why did she say?”
Ali scoffed. “Something about work and having to go meet with some people? Sounded like some bullshit, honestly.” Ali walked around the kitchen, her nerves getting the better of her.
Her brother’s lack of worry wasn’t comforting.
She found it annoying because it made her seem unhinged.
And she wasn’t unhinged! Her girlfriend had up and fled the town after they’d spent the entire night together and had given some weird reason about a job.
Ali didn’t think she really had a job yet.
She honestly didn’t know how the whole gold medal winner thing worked.
Tommy walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug. It was annoying how big he was. He was her baby brother, but now he was big enough to wrap her in a hug and rest his chin on the top of her head. “You really like her, huh?”
Ali nodded.
“And that’s what is freaking you out. Not that she left for the night, but that you’re worried she’s not going to come back.”
Ali frowned. Was that really what she was worried about? That she was the only one out here on a limb? Was she worried that JT could walk away so easily when Ali felt so much? Even worse than Tommy being fully man-sized was him being right. She squeezed him.
“She’s going to come back,” Tommy said quietly. “She’s not the kind of person who disappears without a warning. If she said she was coming back, she’ll be back.” He pushed her away. “In the meantime, are we going to finish this room?”
Ali nodded. “What if she’s mad I changed the color?”
“Ali, oh my god. I will say it again. I promise you that JT Cox doesn’t give a single fuck what color you paint the walls of your office or bedroom or the freaking cellar.
It’s yours. It’s your house. It’s your call.
She is only going to want you to be happy.
It’s one of the best things about her—she wants the best for the people she loves. ”
Ali hoped he was right. Even more, she hoped that she was someone JT loved that way. Loved enough to keep her promises and show up when she said she would. Because Ali didn’t want to be alone in this.
There was a knock on the door followed by a voice. “Hello? Ali?”
Ali looked at Tommy, already feeling her annoyance spike. “Mom?” She walked down the hall to the door, holding her beer in one hand.
“Ali, why aren’t you answering your phone?”
Ali resisted the urge to roll her eyes, but just barely. “Why are you calling me?”
“Kyle and Sharon broke up.”
Ali took a sip of beer and braced herself for whatever unhinged thing was about to happen. “So?”
“So, he’s single again.”
Tommy’s footsteps creaked on the floor behind her.
Ali stopped keeping the exasperation out of her voice. “So?”
“Alexandra, don’t sass me. This is your chance to get back together with him.”
Ali pinched the bridge of her nose. “Mom, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but I have more interest in getting smallpox than I do in getting back together with Kyle.”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course you want to get back together with him.”
Ali waved her arms, gesturing to her surroundings. “Mom, what part of me buying my own damn house makes you think I want to be Kyle’s wife again?”
Her mom waved a hand dismissively. “You bought the house, but you haven’t even finished unpacking. That tells me you don’t actually want to be here. You haven’t painted the walls—you barely have any furniture.”
“Follow me,” Ali said, doing everything in her power not to stomp the entire way to her office. She pushed open the door to show her mom. “This is the second time I’m painting it. That’s why Tommy’s here, to help me get it finished before school.”
“You’ve painted it twice? You’re so indecisive. Thank goodness you have me around. Call Kyle.”
Ali couldn’t take more of this. “Mom, I’m not indecisive.
I know what I want, but you keep coming around trying to make me doubt myself.
You are always in my head telling me I’m doing something wrong or making the wrong choice.
And I’ve let you! It’s how I ended up married to Kyle in the first place.
It’s how I ended up with the wrong color in here.
” Ali took a breath, trying to calm herself so her mom might listen to her instead of calling her hysterical.
“Mom, I’m going to tell you this one more time, so please listen.
I do not want to be with Kyle. I want to be with someone who thinks I’m amazing and supports me.
I want to be with someone who makes me laugh and who shows up for me with no questions asked. ”
“You’re blaming me for your divorce? Please, Alexandra, that was all you.”
Ali looked at her brother, not because she wanted him to bail her out, simply because she needed someone to confirm this was actually happening.
“Mom, I didn’t say you caused our divorce.
I said you caused our marriage. If everyone wasn’t so invested in Kyle and me being together and getting married and having whatever storybook future you saw for us, I might have realized sooner that we weren’t a good match.
Instead, I didn’t stick up for myself and I let it all happen.
I should be the one choosing who to be with, not going along with what everyone else decided was good for me.
” She held her hands out and gestured to the room.
“That’s why I’m repainting. I did it again and listened to other people who told me yellow was a good color for my office instead of sticking to what I really wanted. It means I have to do it over again.
“Just like finding a partner. I have to do it again. But this time, I’m not listening to you or to anyone who isn’t me. I know what I want, who I want, and who makes me happy, and I’m not letting you push me back toward Kyle or anyone else. Got it?”
Mrs. Porter huffed out a breath. She looked at Tommy as if he was going to offer her support. He crossed his arms over his chest. “It sounds like you have someone in mind. Are you dating someone?” she asked.
Ali sighed, suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. Her emotions had been too keyed up for too long and now she could feel a crash coming. “Mom, JT and I have been seeing each other this week.”
“What? Tommy’s JT?”
Ali almost felt bad for her mom. “Yes, Mom. She and I have gotten close this week and, look, I don’t know where this is going, but I know that she makes me happy in ways no one ever has before.”
Her mom sputtered. “How do you feel about this, Tommy?”
Tommy shoved away from the wall. “It took me a little by surprise. But Mom, there’s a reason she’s been my best friend forever.
She’s the best. If she and Ali want to be together, then all I want for them is to be happy.
” He looked at Ali and gave her a reassuring smile.
“But Mom, it doesn’t matter what I think.
Ali gets to make her own choices, including who she wants to date. ”
Mrs. Porter scowled. She looked at Ali, opened her mouth, but shut it half a second later. “Have you thought about how you’re going to feel when you’re all alone in this house?”
Ali opened her mouth, but her mom cut her off.
“Because I can tell you, it’s not easy being alone.” Jean’s hand fluttered next to her.
Ali realized where all her mom’s rantings came from.
She softened. “Mom, like I told you, I’m not alone.
My friends haven’t abandoned me. I don’t have kids.
” She took her mom’s hand. “I’m really sorry for how hard things were for you here.
I truly am. And I’m sorry I didn’t understand that until now.
But Mom, I love my life.” She looked at the walls.
“I hate this stupid paint, but I love this house.”
Her mom sniffled.
Ali pointed to Tommy and squeezed her mom’s hand. “And I’m not alone. I have you and I have Tommy, and I have JT.”
Jean looked at Tommy and then Ali. “I’m sorry, but I can’t help worrying.” She wiped her nose. “I’m your mother and I know how hard things can be…”
Ali wrapped an arm around her mom. “I know. But I’m okay. I’m better than okay. Do you understand that?”
Jean nodded and accepted hugs from both her kids. “Yeah. I’m sorry, but I won’t ever stop worrying.” She let go of them. “I should let you finish your painting.”
She turned and headed out the door, leaving Ali and Tommy bewildered by her abrupt exit.
“You okay?” Tommy asked.
Ali nodded. “Yeah. I feel bad for what she went through, but she still drives me completely bananas.”
Tommy laughed. “Yeah, that was pretty unhinged. Hopefully she heard you, though.”
Ali took a deep breath. “You still up for helping me put this all back together?”
“Of course. But can we eat first? I’m starving.”
Ali nodded and followed him to the kitchen.
She knew she was doing the right thing. She didn’t want Kyle.
She didn’t want her mother telling her who to date, what couch to buy or how to live her life.
But she also worried that JT might not be coming back.
What good would it do her to know what she wanted if she couldn’t have it?