Chapter Thirty-Three
Mel pays the bill for her dinner for one in the Holiday Inn restaurant, smiles at the poor waitress who’s had to work over the holidays.
There are a few other people here, but it’s relatively empty, although she supposes that could be because it’s evening, and people will be winding down by now.
There’s a plastic Christmas tree in the corner with fake presents underneath, and it has that kind of depressed feel about the place, like the hotel itself is sad Christmas Day is over.
She takes her glass of red wine through the hotel lobby, nodding to the friendly woman behind the reception desk, who’d seemed sympathetic when Mel checked in last minute, perhaps wondering what brought her here, alone, on Boxing Day.
She’s had no updates from anyone all evening.
Still, she supposes that’s a good thing.
If there was anything drastic, she thinks they’d tell her.
She texted Hattie, telling her where she is staying, just so more than one of them knew they could call on her.
But they must all be knackered. She imagines them trying to sleep at the hospital, cramped up in tiny little chairs.
She gets it, though. Of course she gets it.
Her parents have been in touch, checking she’s okay—though thankfully don’t seem to be planning on catching the next available flight to the UK.
Her mum has sent her a list of courses, asking for her opinion on which she could do—which, to be fair, was a useful distraction, probably as her mum had intended.
Her dad, a little to Mel’s surprise, has asked how Finn is doing—she replied, honestly, that she wasn’t entirely sure, but that she thought he was coping.
That’s good, had been her dad’s response. So maybe they didn’t hate him quite as much as she’d imagined. Or, if they did, they could still empathize, for something like this.
She gets a message from Priya as she presses the button for the lift.
Hope you’re doing okay—here if you need me. I think you’re probably right. I think I’m going to stick it out, at least for the school year. Would love—so much—if you wanted to visit. Xxx
It makes her smile a little—both at the thought of having a holiday in Australia with her best friend, and also the fact that Priya is going to give it a bit more time.
Because she’s looking at her phone rather than the lift, she misses it, looking up just as the doors are closing.
She huffs, pushing the button again—only this time, when she goes to step inside, she hears a voice coming from reception. And stills.
“I don’t care what hotel policy is, I need to talk to her.”
She turns to see Finn, messy blond hair damp from the rain, gesturing wildly at the receptionist.
“Sir, don’t you think it would be better to call ahead? Unless she has a reason not to want to take your calls?”
Fair play to the receptionist, Mel thinks, for standing her ground while Finn is scowling at her like that.
“Oh, for God’s sake. I just want to make a romantic gesture. Is that so hard to achieve? Haven’t you seen Love Actually ?”
It makes Mel laugh, a short, high burst, and at the sound Finn turns, slowly, and sees her standing there by the now-closed lift. His frown stays in place for a moment, though he marches toward her with intent.
“They wouldn’t give me your room number,” he says shortly.
She nods, searching his face, looking for an answer as to why he’s here—and hoping it’s not so he can tell her it’s over, for good. “So I gathered,” she says, and is impressed by how composed her voice sounds.
He takes a deep breath as he reaches her, his chest rising and falling with the movement. “I don’t know what to do about Mum, Mel.”
She reaches out to him, then thinks better of it and drops her hand. “Oh, Finn.”
“I’m scared and I’m panicking and I’m trying to keep it together, but I really don’t know what to do.”
She takes another step closer—but she has no idea whether he wants comfort from her, if that’s what he came here for. “Finn,” she says quietly, “you’ve literally just found out. You need to give yourself time and—”
“No.” Now the snap in his voice is back. He lets out a whoosh of breath. “Damn it. I’m saying this all wrong.” He squares his shoulders, looks directly at her. “I don’t know what to do about Mum. But I do know what to do about us. Or what I want to do, at least.”
Her heartbeat rises to the base of her throat. “And what is that, exactly?”
His eyes soften, and now it’s his turn to step toward her. “I don’t want to lose you, Mel. I should have said that at the hospital.”
She hears it again and again, as if his voice is bouncing off the white walls. She feels her eyes spark with tears. “I don’t want to lose you, either.” She’d never wanted to lose him.
He gives a self-deprecating shake of his head. “I tried to stop loving you. I thought it was for the best. But I couldn’t.”
She swallows down the lump in her throat. They are still a couple of meters apart, but he’s made no move to reach for her. “Me neither.”
“You were right. I need to grow up.” She raises her eyebrows at the admission, and he nods. “I don’t want to be like my dad.”
“I know.”
“So I won’t be.”
And despite the awfulness of the day, despite how tired and wrung out she is, she feels a smile spreading over her face. “Good.”
“I shouldn’t have let that fear define me. I should have talked to you. Well, I think we can both agree there are a million things I should have done differently, but I promise, if you give me another chance, I will make it up to you.”
She moves closer to him, tilts her chin up to look at him. “I promise to tell you if I am ever struggling with anything—work or otherwise.”
“I promise to ask you—and I mean really ask you—rather than assuming it’s me.”
She lets out a long breath and, finally, feels his arms come around her. She lays her head on his chest, breathing him in. “Well, okay, then.”
“We’ll work it out,” he says, tightening his arms around her. “You could come and live with me, in this house in Norfolk I told you about. Or we could try to find somewhere closer to London, so you can commute.”
She smiles against him. “Norfolk sounds okay.” It sounds like a change—and maybe that’s what she needs.
“And I was thinking…”
“Yes?”
“Kristen.”
She frowns, pulling back a bit. “Not where I thought this was going, but okay.”
“She might be able to help, with your business.” Her frown deepens. “I mean,” he continues quickly, “it might be a terrible idea. But I think I got the impression this holiday that she’s a little, well, frustrated.”
“Yes,” Mel says wryly. “I got that impression too.”
“And I don’t know how much she told you, she’s not one to boast, but she used to be this big-shot project manager in London. Now, I’ll admit I don’t know what, exactly, a project manager does, but it sounds the kind of thing that might be useful, when it comes to running a business.”
She chews her lip, thinking about it. Then she smiles. “Do you know what? You might actually be onto something.”
He grins. “Well, I was due a good idea. It’s been a while.”
She laughs, then leans into him again when he tightens his hold. This. This is all she needs, all she’s wanted. And, yes, things with Susan are uncertain and they’re going to have to find a way to get through that. But they’ll do that, together.
“I love you, Finn,” she says as he rests his forehead against hers.
“I love everything about you,” he says simply. Dimly, she thinks she hears the receptionist sob.
She smiles a little. “It’s impossible to love everything about someone,” she says, remembering a similar conversation in Tuscany.
He rests his forehead against hers. “Everything,” he murmurs, and she closes her eyes, allowing that to settle. And when he says it again, this time, she allows herself to believe it. “Everything, Mel.”