Chapter 16
Y vonne could understand why, now that she was sitting here, considering what she needed to do, or wanted to do, but wanted to just have it done with. This was not quite how she expected this to go, but then why would he ask her again? It was… It was far too painful.
She sighed. “Look. I know that I did a lot of things that I would choose to do differently next time, and nobody is sadder about this whole thing than I am. And I’m glad that we won’t do a postmortem over all this, and that’s a good thing because, once we figure out where we’re at, maybe we can just move on.”
He nodded agreeably. “So, what’s still bothering you?”
She smiled. “It’s one thing actually and…”
He shook his head at her. “Just spit it out.”
She gave him a wry look. “You know, if it was that easy, I would just spit it out,” she declared. “But somehow it seems immensely hard.”
“If it has nothing to do with me having another relationship, I’m not exactly sure… what else could be upsetting you to that extent.”
She grabbed his hand, looked down at his strong fingers, his massive palm, and asked, “You know I love you, right?”
He sucked in his breath, but he nodded. “Yes, I know you did love me. I can’t imagine that such a love would have disappeared,” he replied cautiously.
“No, it didn’t disappear. It didn’t even go underground,” she admitted. “It was always there. It was just there in the back of my head, always waiting, always looking at me, always reminding me of something I walked away from.”
“Okay, I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to say to that.”
“That’s because you’re not supposed to say anything,” she noted, with the gentlest of smiles. “There are things you can say, but nothing that’s expected of you. There is something I am expecting from me though.” He just sat and waited. And when he opened his mouth, she held up a hand. “Just give me a moment.”
He nodded and settled back… waiting.
She looked down at his hand that she still cradled and began once more, “So I need you to answer me honestly and truthfully, and, yes, you can take time to think about it, if you want,” she explained. “First, I’ll explain something, and then I’ll ask you.”
He stared at her, just waiting.
“The first thing is, I need you to understand that I am getting better. I am getting back on my feet. I am not the person I was.”
He smiled gently and wanted to say something, but again she held up her hand to ward him off.
“The next thing I need you to understand is, I do have a job. It’s probably not the same job I’ll stick with, but it is a job. Dani approached me originally about working here as a full-time IT person, and, if I get that opportunity again, I would be delighted to take her up on it,” Yvonne shared, with a smile. “And somewhere along the line, down the road maybe, I can see changing pretty well everything, even what I’m doing for a career, mostly because I need to do something that feeds my soul and not just my bank account.”
“Oh, I can understand that,” he agreed.
She smiled and then started to laugh. “Yes, you of all people would understand that. So I have a big question to ask you.” She leaned forward to face him, so that she could see right into his expression and hopefully read the truth there. She found an inner strength she hadn’t ever expected at this moment in time, when she continued. “I have to ask…” She hesitated, and then whispered, “Will you marry me?”
*
Dennis stared at her in shock. Whatever he’d thought she would ask, he’d started to worry what other mess she’d dreamt up in her heart of confusion. But that was not what she was focused on. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought this would come about. He swallowed hard.
Yvonne whispered, “Is that a no?”
And then her previous words about being in his position—realizing how hard it was and how bad rejection was—hit him, as he realized that she was expecting a no right back. He shook his head. “Of all the things that you could have asked me, that is not anything I was prepared for.”
“That’s still not a yes or a no,” she pointed out.
He gave her the gentlest of smiles. “And I never expected to be asked.”
“I know, but I figured that, this time, all the risk should be on my part.”
“And there shouldn’t be any risk,” he noted.
“True, and yet somehow a truly big risk is involved. I’m letting you know how I care about you immensely and how much you are a major part of my life and how much I want you back in my life again in a big way, and, no, I don’t want it on a temporary basis. I want to go back to when I told you no five years ago, and I want to redo all that,” she explained. “I don’t know why I did what I did, but I presume I needed to. So, I’m here now to tell you that, whatever that was back then, it’s over, and I’m so desperate to be a part of your life again,” she whispered. “I’m just hoping that you want to be a part of mine.”
He nodded. Inside was this slow blossom, a healing from inside that he didn’t even realize he’d needed. “Are you sure?”
She chuckled. “Isn’t that my line?”
“Maybe,” he said, with a lopsided grin. “I have to admit I wasn’t prepared for this.”
“I’m not sure we can ever be prepared,” she stated, with a knowing smile. “I wasn’t prepared when you asked me either.”
“No, I don’t imagine you were,” he agreed. “I just knew you were leaving, and I wanted to ensure that you knew how I felt.”
“And I knew how you felt,” she replied, “but I couldn’t let you stop me.”
“Got it,” he muttered, with a smile.
“And you still haven’t answered my question,” she whispered.
He looked at her and saw that she was at the point of tears. He reached over and scooped her out of her wheelchair easily. She was small compared to him, even though she was tall for a woman. And he sat her in his lap and whispered, “Thank you for the honor and the request. My answer is, of course, absolutely yes. You’ve always been in my heart, and you have forever been part of my soul,” he whispered. “I just had to wait for you to come back and find me.”
“And I’m here,” she whispered, tears in her eyes, as she clutched her arms around his neck and held on tight. “Dear God, that was so hard.”
He smiled and nodded. “It is, indeed. Probably harder for you than it was for me because I was so sure that I knew what your answer would be, and yet it wasn’t.” She winced at that again. “And again”—he placed a finger against her lips—“it doesn’t matter. We have just taken a turn on a completely new and different path. If you ever change your mind again, it’ll break my heart.”
“I have no intention of changing my mind. You have always been exactly where you are right now—in my heart. I just want to go forward, knowing that this is the pathway that we both want.”
“Exactly.” He looked down at her and grinned. “Considering that you’ve never proposed before, you did a great job.”
She smiled, leaned up against him, and whispered, “Thank you.… You do realize I’ve got months of rehab to go.”
He nodded. “Yep, you sure do,” he stated cheerfully. “Just means we have months before you can walk down the aisle.”
“And if I want to wheel down the aisle?”
He shrugged. “Then you can wheel down the aisle. That’s your choice.”
She grinned. “Once again, you’re just way too easy to get along with.”
“No, because I also know that you won’t want the wedding pictures down the road to be of you in a wheelchair, so I know you’ll work to get to that point.”
“You’re right, and I never even thought of that.”
“Just don’t push yourself so hard that you set yourself back.”
She gave him a smirk. “I think I’ve learned that lesson already this time.”
He chuckled. “An awful lot of Dani’s wedding details are going on around me at the moment and an awful lot of bride-to-be emotions, even from our beloved Dani. So, I’m a little bit more in tune with that than I had expected to be.”
“I’m glad to hear that because I’ve never been married before, and I don’t know how to do weddings,” she shared. “I just know I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“And I’m really glad to hear that.” He wrapped her up in his arms, lowered his head, and, just before his lips took hers, he whispered, “Welcome home.”