Chapter 3
Lexi
T his was a really bad idea. I agreed to be Kayla’s emotional support animal for the night. She’s my best friend’s younger sister and normally all kinds of socially awkward. Tonight, with her biker wannabe at her side, she’s like a beautiful swan who totally has her act together. She’s dressed in black leather pants with a biker t-shirt and black boots. She totally looks more like the wives than the club girls, which can only work to her advantage. She’s all snuggled up under Evan’s arm and the conversation is flowing really well for them.
Everything in her world is aces tonight, and somehow, I’m the obvious third wheel. Evan has already explained all about how most of the brothers are war heroes, and their club doesn’t do illegal stuff, but I don’t know if his information is all that reliable.
The one thing I do know is that all the bikers in this clubhouse are drop-dead gorgeous, down to the last man. They seem protective of the women they’re with and vice versa.
I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye. It’s the handsome one moving across the room to put money in the jukebox. I like the way he’s built. He clearly works out. I can tell by the way he moves that he’s totally ripped under his black t-shirt and leather cut. His biceps are bulging out the sleeves of his t-shirt, and he has wicked tatts crawling down his arms. His shoulder-length dark brown hair is messy but clean. He has green eyes and a neatly trimmed beard. When he glances over his shoulder, I realize I’m staring and lower my eyes.
He picks a slow song, which doesn’t seem to fit with the boisterous mood I see in the brothers around the room. No one complains, though.
I glance his way again and realize he’s headed straight for our table. I assume he’s coming to talk to Evan. But if that’s the case, why is he looking at me so intently? I quickly look away again because I’m definitely not trying to hook up with any of the brothers tonight, or any night. Bikers aren’t my type for a variety of reasons.
He stops at our table and Evan welcomes him warmly. “Long time, no see, Zen.”
The hot biker just chuckles. “Yeah, it’s been what, an hour and a half since you were in my office.”
Kayla looks up and asks, “Is that kind of like being sent to the principal’s office?”
The smile falls right off the dude’s face and Evan is just staring at her with his mouth hanging open.
I jump in and save her, “No. Bikers are kind of like pirates, in that everyone is supposed to be equal. That’s why when they have their little meetings, every brother gets an equal vote.”
The man Evan referred to as Zen tells me, “Bikers are nothing like pirates. We don’t steal, rape, and kill.”
“Well, I never said you were like pirates in every way, just in regard to everyone getting an equal vote. That part is true, right?”
He nods, looking annoyed with me for being right. “Yeah, we all get an equal vote, but we don’t do illegal shit.”
I don’t know why he’s being so bristly, but I add. “You don’t wear eye patches, have peg legs, or call everyone ‘mate’ either.”
“Says the cosplayer,” he mutters under his breath.
Before I have a chance to respond, he stretches his neck and asks Evan, “I was wondering if you wanted to shoot a game of pool with me? We can play couples or men against women. What do you say?”
Of course, Kayla lights up like a Christmas tree with excitement, so Evan agrees. “Yeah, that would be great. Thanks for including us.”
“It’s my pleasure,” the man responds. His name is Zen—I need to remember to use it. We follow him back to an empty pool table and I realize almost immediately that although I’m totally out of my element in a biker bar, being in the small alcove is much less stressful than being out in the open where people can stare at me. I glance over at Zen, wondering if he did that intentionally. The slight smile on his face tells me that maybe he did notice my anxiety and did something to remedy it.
I sit down at a small table in the back of the alcove, waiting for Evan to set the balls up and help Kayla choose a cue. Zen holds one out to me without so much as looking at me. My anxiety clicks down again because he isn’t eyeing me up like a prime side of beef, doling out fake compliments, or coming on to me. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all? Things are going okay. I’ve done my job by saving Kayla from herself at least once.
Zen breaks the balls apart in one powerful shot that sends them flying all around the table. He takes several shots, and when he misses, Evan steps up to take his shot. When he misses, they tell me that it’s my turn. We are clearly playing couples, and I’ve been paired with Zen by default because Evan and Kayla are on an actual date.
Zen still isn’t focused on me, so I get up and take my shot, dropping two balls before I miss.
“Great effort,” he says casually as Kayla walks up to the pool table to take her turn. I almost smile at how casual and laid-back Zen is. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks, that this is probably exactly how he got his club name—he’s likely the kind of guy who doesn’t let anything ruffle his feathers. Feeling secure that he isn’t going to pop off with something rude or demanding, helps me let go of any lingering doubts I have about coming to the clubhouse. Everyone here has been nothing but nice to me so far.
When our game is over, Evan and Kayla go out to dance to a slow song.
Zen asks, “Want to shoot another game of pool?”
I nod, happy he didn’t ask me to dance with him. “Yeah, that would be great.”
He sets the balls up for us and in the middle of sorting them, he looks over his shoulder and says, “You look really nice tonight as the Dark Maven.”
Before I can respond, he turns around and keeps on sorting the balls.
I stammer, “I- I feel a bit out of place, I didn’t mean to dress up. Kayla didn’t tell me where we were going exactly. She said we were going to a bar where everyone dressed in black. I assumed it was a techno bar. They sometimes dress up on Friday nights.”
“Oh, I see,” he mumbles. “I still think you look nice. Ain’t nobody in the clubhouse cares how women dress.”
Glancing around, I see all the pleather miniskirts and glittering tube tops. “Yeah, I can see that.”
When he pulls back, he’s got a cute smile on his handsome face. “You wanna take the first shot?”
Stepping up to the pool table again, I feel all my anxiety melt away. I break the balls apart but obviously not with the power Zen did.
When I walk by him, he’s smiling again, so I risk asking a question. “Do you and Evan hang out a lot?”
He shakes his head, “Not really. He’s a prospect and came to me to learn about my role in the club.”
My eyes fly up to his. “What do you do here?”
He shrugs. “I’m their IT specialist.”
I perk up immediately because now I’m all kinds of interested to learn more about him.
“How about you?” he asks. “What do you do for a living?”
“I have an inheritance from my dad and do online gigs to keep myself busy.”
“That’s cool. Do you mind if I ask how you met Kayla? You two don’t seem like you have a lot in common. Do you spend a lot of time with her?”
I shake my head. “No. She’s my best friend’s little sister. She’s a little socially awkward and wanted a wingman. I agreed to be her emotional support animal for the night because her sister was busy.”
“That’s real sweet of you. She can put her foot in her mouth at times.”
“Yeah, we all do that from time to time,” I respond trying to drive the point home that there is nothing wrong with my best friend’s little sister.
“Ain’t that the truth, beautiful.” His voice is low and masculine. I don’t know if he’s trying to flirt or not. Most likely his voice is just that way naturally. If so, he probably isn’t doing it intentionally.
Part of me is thrilled at getting what sounds like a genuine compliment from a hot guy, but all the other parts of me warn me not to get too excited. Guys don’t want to hook up with former psychiatric patients or women whose fathers were brutally murdered before their very eyes, especially when the killer is still on the loose.
At that thought, I take a deep breath and remind myself what the police told me. It was a home invasion gone wrong. Okay, they haven’t caught the guy, but there’s no reason to believe he’d come after me. Focusing on the moment, I try and forget my recent past. We drink our sodas and play several games of pool. I don’t win, but that’s no surprise since I’ve rarely played a game in my entire life.
I can clearly see Kayla and Evan on the dance floor and, therefore, will be in a position to assure my friend that everything went well for the younger sister she’s so protective of. They would both be thrilled. But really, she hadn’t needed me here at all.
Zen and I eventually get tired of playing pool and decide to chill out a while before I approach Kayla about calling it a night. We chat about the World of Wonders game. Zen has some extremely good insights on the more complex parts of the game, things that I would never even think about in a million years.
Evan and Kayla land back at our table talking about spending the night together. Zen immediately takes Evan aside and gives him what I assume is a stern talking to. Evan’s shocked and angry expression makes me think that Zen is imparting wisdom he’d rather not hear.
From my perspective, they’re both eighteen now. They might not be legal to drink, but they can have mountains of sex if they want. The minute that thought flies into my mind, I immediately realize they’re too young, and I have serious concerns about her reliably using birth control.
I lean across the table and ask, “Are you sure about spending the night with Evan? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You do know that, right?”
She gazes at me for a brief moment before she responds. “Look, I know worrying about me is your literal job tonight, but we’ve been together for almost a year. It’s time we fooled around a little bit, even if we don’t go all the way, you know?”
I reach across the table and take her hand in mine. “I get how awesome it can be when you finally find your one. You want to experience everything together. I know your sister already gave the whole sex talk. I’m just reminding you to use protection, and call if you get in over your head.”
“Yeah, we talked about every single thing we could think of. My sister thinks I’m ready, and so do I. Evan’s a nice guy. He wouldn’t do me wrong.”
Sweet Jesus, this girl is so na?ve that it’s not even funny. When she and Evan wander off, Zen sits back down at the table and tells me, “I prepped him as best I could. I don’t think either of them are ready, so don’t be surprised if you get a call from her at some point.”
“I was thinking the same thing, but I guess she has to jump out of the nest sometime. I know they’re both eighteen, but they seem so young. When I was that age, I didn’t know what I wanted.”
“I totally agree. Though some would say I’ve never grown up,” he says with a laugh. Then he adds, “Would you like me to give you ride home or call you an Uber?”
“I hate Ubers. The drivers are all strangers, and some of them can get creepy. If you don’t mind dropping me off, I’d really appreciate it.”
He stands up and holds out his hand for me to take, like a real gentleman. I slide my hand in his and he takes me outside to his bike. I’d be lying if I said riding a motorcycle wasn’t on my bucket list. I’d always wanted to ride but had been scared of doing it all by myself. Riding with Zen is a nice compromise, so I jump at the chance.
He gives me a spare helmet and helps me strap it on before inputting my address into his cell phone. Of course, I don’t give him my real address, so I give him my friend’s address instead. If there’s one thing my father taught me, it’s never to trust strangers, or let them know where you live. The fewer people who know my address, the better.
Once we’re on the road with a crescent moon hanging high in the sky, I relax into the moment. There’s a chill in the air that makes my nose cold. I just hold onto Zen for dear life and let the wind whip through my clothing. Riding on the back of his bike makes me feel things—things a girl best not succumb to. Being practically alone on the open road is everything I thought it would be—intimate, exhilarating, and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s a shame that it will only be for one night.
When he stops his motorcycle, I waste no time telling him goodnight and running from him on shaky legs, right into my friend’s house. This hot, tatted-up biker who’s into God only knows what, is too much temptation for this lonely girl. Yeah, he seems nice, but you never really know about random people you meet.
I’m not ready to put myself out there for a serious relationship right now. I’m still hiding out from the guy who killed my dad, and I only just stopped visiting my dad’s gravesite every day a week ago. I’m still a complete mess. I don’t have anything to offer a man right now, except random outbursts of emotion, getting woken up by my nightmares, and being unwilling to leave my house most days. Going to the clubhouse with Kayla was the most adventurous thing I’ve done in months.
Tonight was like one magical night where I took a chance on going out to support my friend, and everything was amazing. I can’t expect that kind of luck to hold long-term. I wouldn’t be that lucky. Sadly, I’ve only got so many spoons, according to my therapist, and I can’t waste any of them on a relationship that’s destined to fail.