Chapter 7
Lexi
T he next day, I’m sitting at Cindy’s house while she curls her sister’s hair and telling them about my weird-ass conversation with Architect. “You know I intentionally use the handle ChaosCrone to make guys think I’m too old to bother with online and it usually works really well. This guy just came out of left field and wouldn’t let up.”
“That is weird, maybe he’s just socially awkward?” Cindy responds.
“Oh, I think we can bet the farm on him being socially awkward. Here’s the thing, from the way he went about it, I got the feeling that he wasn’t really into me. It felt like some kind of hard sell to meet up with me and steal my kidneys or something.”
Cindy bursts out laughing.
Kayla jerks in her seat. “Ow, watch what you’re doing with the curling iron. You just burned my scalp.”
“Sorry, baby girl,” Cindy says as she unwinds her hair.
Glancing at me, she asks incredulously, “Are you seriously trying to convince me that the only reason an internet friend might want to meet up with you in real life is to steal your organs?”
I nod, “The whole conversation was just weird. He also knew I was in California, he said I’d told him before. And maybe I did? But it all seems a bit strange. I’ll send you screenshots. Trust me, you have to see it to believe it.”
Kayla interjects, “Forget about the creepy online person and tell me what you think of Zen.”
I try not to act as excited as I actually am to be seeing him tonight. “Zen seems really nice. I’m not really in a position to have a relationship right now so don’t think you’re setting me up. I’m just going to be your wingman, like last time.”
“Thank God,” Kayla responds. “Having a friend come along is cool. Having your older sister is embarrassing.”
Cindy looks down at her younger sister indulgently. “Yeah, I get that. I’m not trying to pry into your personal life or anything like that. My goal is to support you in ways that are helpful without crossing your boundaries.”
Kayla rolls her eyes, “I can tell you’re going to college to be a psychologist. You talk like a therapist.”
I think to myself that Kayla would know all about what therapists sound like since she’s been in therapy for most of her life. I don’t say it though, because that would be all kinds of inappropriate.
Truth be told, I love my friends but I’m kind of eager to get to the clubhouse and see Zen. Thankfully, Kayla is just as eager to see Evan and rushes us out the door the minute her hair is finished.
***
When we walk into the clubhouse, Evan is shooting pool in one of the side rooms and Zen is sitting at a nearby table, drinking a beer. The bar area is dimly lit, and the jukebox is playing country music in the background. This is a really nice place, clean, private, and everybody leaves me alone. Everyone but Zen that is.
He glances up from his drink to meet my eyes when I walk up. “You look amazing tonight,” he murmurs warmly.
“You look like trouble wrapped in leather.”
He chuckles. “You got that right, gorgeous.”
I smooth down my black lace top and glance down to make sure the fly on my new black leather pants hasn’t unzipped again. “Don’t let up with the compliments. My self-esteem is so low that a good compliment might be rewarded in new and exciting ways.”
“Are you flirting with me?” he asks.
I decide to go for broke, “Maybe.”
His eyes are shining with amusement. “I’m glad you came.”
“Really,” I ask as I slide into the only other seat at the small two-top. “Why is that exactly?”
“It’s been a hell of a week. Getting the opportunity to see you again made my day.”
“If that’s the case, I’m glad I came. You aren’t the only one who had a crappy week, my friend.”
Motioning for the bartender to bring me a drink, he asks, “You too?”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Wanna talk about it?” he offers.
We stop talking long enough for the prospect to drop off my beer “Sure, we can trade stories, you know, get it all off our chest.”
Taking another sip of his beer, he points at me with the bottom of his bottle. “You first.”
“I’ll keep it short. Between being harassed online, people being complete idiots, and the guy who delivered my food trying to break into my house, I’m super glad this week is coming to an end.” Grinning, I tell him, “Your turn.”
He takes a deep breath and follows my delivery pattern, “Between someone stealing my money, having to tell a little white lie to help my sister, and falling on my face professionally, my week has been ridiculous.”
I lift up my glass and propose a reckless toast, “May all the assholes in the world implode the moment they do something shitty to another person.”
He gently clinks his bottle against mine, “I’ll drink to that.”
“Now that we got that out of the way, tell me one good thing about your week.”
His eyes go wide with surprise. “I found the person who stole a bunch of money from my little sister.”
“How little is the sister, and how big is the money? If she’s a kid, and it wasn’t a lot, wouldn’t it be better to just give her more cash than fight over a few dollars?”
“Sage advice to be sure, my sweet Lexi. Unfortunately, it’s a hundred grand—all the money she’d saved for her college fund.”
“Damn! Yeah, that’s too much to just let it go. You’ll have to get the police involved.”
“Yeah, I know,” he says grudgingly.
“How about your one good thing for the week?”
Thinking it over, I tell him, “For me it was coming here, I suppose.”
“Don’t hate the kid, but Evan told me you almost never leave your house.”
“I wouldn’t hate him for that. Kayla probably told him. She really doesn’t have much of a filter sometimes.”
Zen reaches out and covers my hand with his. “If you need someone to talk to about it, I’m here.”
“Fuck that. It would feel like dumping all my excess emotional garbage on a nice guy.”
He tells me gently, “You said yourself that unburdening yourself can be healthier.”
“Evan probably told you all about how my father died.”
When he looks into my eyes, I see the depth of his empathy, “He was murdered during a break-in, and the killer was never caught. That must be terrifying for you.”
I nod, taking another mouthful of beer with shaking hands. “Here’s the part no one knows. The killer found a picture of me and saw my dad glancing towards our security camera. He realized that I might be hidden somewhere watching the feed. He gestured that I could trade myself for my dad.”
“Fuck me. I’m glad you didn’t take him up on that offer. You and your father would probably both be dead.”
I wrap my arms around my stomach and glance away.
“Shit, you tried to, didn’t you?”
The shock in his voice feels like cold jab to my heart. Turning back to look at him, I say, “Of course I tried. By that time, my father was already in bad shape.”
“He was never gonna let the witness to his crime go. Tell me you understand that, Lexi?”
“I think I was aware that was a strong possibility at the time, but I had to chance it. My dad’s life was on the line. I thought maybe I could buy us some time until the cops came. I was desperate. Isn’t that what love is, putting the one you love before yourself?”
Even though I try to be strong, I feel myself tearing up. That’s all it takes for Zen to scoot over and wrap his arm around me, pulling me close. Feeling his body heat and the scent of leather calms me down. So I let him hold me awkwardly while I finish my story. “In the end it didn’t matter anyway. My father locked me in and by the time the man realized I might be hiding, the police were near enough for him to hear the sirens. He shot my dad and made his escape. When the police arrived, they were too late to save my father. I was still on the phone with the dispatcher, and she told them I was in the basement. They broke the lock on the outside of the safe room and let me out.”
“Fucking hell, Lexi. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Yeah, me too. But I’m even sorrier for my dad. He was a good man who lived his whole life in fear that something bad was going to happen. And then it did—almost like all his worrying somehow manifested his worst fears into reality.”
Zen holds me tight. “You know what I’m fucking gonna do? I’m gonna find that fucker that killed your dad and make him regret the fucking day he was born.”
Feeling safe and protected in his arms I murmur, “That’s a lot of fucks to give about a situation that doesn’t involve you.”
His arms tighten around me and he tells me, “I’m just sick and tired of all the evil fuckers in the world running roughshod over the rest of us. Some depraved asshole broke into your house and decided to make you an orphan for no fucking reason. Some other asshole decided to steal my little sister’s life savings. Someone stole money from me a few days ago. Why can’t all the ignorant fuckers just stay in their lane and let people live their lives?”
I pull back and look up into his angry, exasperated face. “I know the answer to that question. It’s because they start small and work their way to bigger and more horrific shit because no one stops them.”
Gazing down at me, his hand comes up to cup the side of my face. I like the way he seems to be pouring his strength into me. “How about you and me team up to find the ignorant fuck who killed your old man in cold blood? We can bring him to justice and keep him from killing someone else’s loved one?”
My throat closes up because Zen is the first person who’s offered real, boots-on-the-ground, help in finding my dad’s killer. Unable to speak, I nod before quickly throwing my arms around his neck and giving him the biggest, tightest bear hug a lady like me can manage. I whisper, “I would love a little help finding my dad’s killer. All I’ve wanted for the last ten months is justice.”
“Well, I’ve decided that I’m gonna get my club involved. We’re stronger together than any one of us is by ourselves. I’ve learned that the hard way.”
“I’ve been alone for so long. Even when my father was alive, he spent an inordinate amount of time worried about security. I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place. I could either go full-on conspiracy theorist in order to spend time with him—which wasn’t good for my mental health—or just let him get on with it and submerge myself into the online world.”
“Don’t feel guilty for choosing your mental health. No one can exist in a paranoid state year after year without it affecting them.”
“That’s the weird part for me. He was always so strict about locking doors, not just at the end of the night like normal folks, but every single time we came or went. The police said there was no evidence of forced entry.”
Zen muses out loud, “That either means he knew and halfway trusted his attacker, or he slipped up and left the door unlocked on the very day some random stranger decided to rob him.”
“Yeah, that’s where I am on the break-in. The odds of a random house invasion the one time he slipped up is astronomical. But on the other hand, my dad was too paranoid to have friends. He kept everyone at arm’s length. I can’t see him opening the door and allowing someone to walk right into the very house he was obsessed with protecting.”
“I’m gonna ask you something, Lexi, and I want you to answer me honestly. I’m not trying to be a dick here, but did your father have a drug problem?”
“What?” I gasp. “Of course not! Why would you automatically jump to that conclusion?”
He gazes into my eyes and tells it to me straight, “Because your old man was paranoid someone was out to get him. He was fixated on securing his home. Yet, he either forgot to lock the door or his judgment was so impaired that he let in someone who ended up killing him. Can you see how all of that might point to a longtime drug addiction?”
I stiffen in my seat and look down at my hands, which are twisting nervously in my lap. “If he was doing drugs, wouldn’t I have noticed? I never saw him exhibit any behavior that made me suspect he was using drugs. I never saw white powder in his nostrils, never saw him sweating and shaking the way addicts do when they go into withdrawal and, most importantly, I read the medical examiner’s report that verified he didn’t have drugs or alcohol in his system.”
Zen sighs and takes another mouthful of his beer. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m totally wrong about that issue. I apologize for bringing it up.”
Surprised, my eyes fly back up to his gaze. I realize a second too late that my mouth is hanging open.
He gives me an indulgent smile. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s admitting when I’ve made a mistake and apologizing.”
“That’s a refreshing change. Most of the people I’ve met double down until it turns into a fight.”
“Not with me. My folks taught me that admitting when you’re wrong shows maturity and character. I have practically zero ego when it comes to making mistakes. In my world if you aren’t making mistakes, you’re not even trying to grow and evolve.”
I choke out a laugh. It’s weird how this man can pull me out of the deepest, darkest place and lift me up to the point that it doesn’t hurt so much. I feel a smile take over my expression. I like Zen in spite of constantly telling myself that we’re not right for each other. If it weren’t for my life being so fucked up, we might have had a chance. Something about that makes my heart hurt.
Zen reaches his big hand out to cover mine. “I can see the worry eating you up from the inside out. Don’t worry, no matter how long it takes or how deep and dark the rabbit hole goes, we’re gonna track that fucker down and bring him to justice.”
“Do you really think you can do this?” I ask, hardly daring to believe that he and his club might succeed where the police failed.
“We took down a county-wide crime syndicate a few years back and unmasked the corrupt police chief behind it. We might look like all we do is ride and party, but we get shit done.”
I turn my hand over and clasp his tighter. “Alright then, I’ll consider us partners. We’ll cover each other’s backs and keep chipping away at this until we get to the truth.”
He dips his head and when it comes back up there’s a look of determination there. “Whatever it takes, I’m there for it.” The note of finality in his voice takes my breath away. “When can you get me all the information you have on what happened?”
“I digitized a lot of it. I keep everything in a cloud.” Pulling out my phone, I tell him, “Give me a minute to get it all in one file and I’ll send you a link.”
He responds warmly, “Great.”
I put the last of it in a zip file and hit send, “I sent it.”
Before he can respond, Kayla approaches with a curious expression on her face. Evan is close behind her, and they sit at our table. I glance over at my friend’s little sister as I lower my phone into my lap. “Zen is going to help me find the man who killed my father. He has experience tracking people electronically.”
Kayla rolls her eyes. “What can he do that the great ChaosCrone herself can’t?”