Chapter Eighteen
I s it weird that I wish we weren’t heading back today?”
Anthony glanced over at Delilah from the driver’s seat, his hand clasped between both of hers in the center of her lap. She wore a blue sweater dress that perfectly matched her eyes over leggings, her dark hair braided over her shoulder. He understood what she meant; they’d been in this little bubble of bliss far away from the complications that waited for them back in Mistletoe, and now they were headed back to reality. Anthony had spent the weekend going over his speech for Pike and every scenario ended with his best friend either punching him out or calling him everything under the sun.
Still, they had another half an hour until they pulled into town and he wanted to stay in this space with her for a few more miles. To enjoy her company and who they were together before he had to think about what happened next.
“Honestly, I was getting kinda concerned about the way your dad was looking at me.”
Delilah laughed. “And how was that?”
“Like he knew I was doing ungodly things to his daughter in their basement.”
“I wouldn’t say ungodly.”
He caught her telltale blush out of the corner of his eye and grinned. Since Thursday night, they’d kept things conservative in front of her parents while they went shopping at the mall or out to dinner and driving around to look at Christmas lights, but the minute they went to bed, Delilah would sneak downstairs to be with him. The way she’d smile at him, like a cat ready to lick every last drop of cream, was irresistible and it was all he could do to keep from forgetting why he’d decided to stay celibate and bury himself in her.
The hardest part about staying strong was the aftermath, when she’d curl up against him and they’d talk. Her hand would stroke his chest hair as she told him about some mischief Holly dragged her into and he’d laugh, running his palm over the silky skin of her hip. Talking to Delilah about anything and everything was the most intimate experience of his life. When he’d been with women before, he’d found snuggling with them uncomfortable and couldn’t wait until they fell asleep.
Delilah just fit. The curve of her body. Her warm, breathless laugh. How she didn’t mind being the big spoon when his arm fell asleep and he needed to reposition.
“You’re right,” he said, bringing her hands up to kiss the knuckles of the closest one. “Nothing that feels so good could be wrong.”
Anthony felt Delilah turn in the seat and her intense gaze made him look away from the road for a second and at her serious expression. “What?”
“I’m feeling a little guilty.”
“Why’s that?”
“I haven’t been respecting your feelings about sex. I’ve been so focused on how much I want to be close to you, when I should have let you take the lead.”
“If you’ll remember, I’m the one who started all the closeness,” he teased.
“So, no regrets?”
“I already told you I could never regret what’s between us.”
“And when we get back home?”
Anthony swallowed, debating on how best to say what he was thinking without sending her reeling. “There’s no question I want to see where you and I go, but I need to talk to Pike before we go public. I know you two never dated, but when he asked if I was interested in you, I told him no.”
“Why did you tell him that?” she asked softly.
Anthony could feel her grip on his hand slacken and he pulled the car off the road at the next turnout, putting it into park. “Hey, no, don’t do that. Remember, I thought the two of you were into each other. There was no point in saying anything if he was your first choice.”
Delilah leaned across the middle console and he met her halfway, their kiss sweet and insistent. When she tried deepening it, Anthony pulled back with a laugh.
“I can’t have you distracting me. It’s time to go home and face the music.”
Delilah pouted. “Fine. Since we’re pulled over, let me grab my water bottle from the back.”
“Alright,” he said, leaning back against the seat. A red car in the distance crested the hill and caught his attention. It drew closer and Anthony’s stomach bottomed out.
Shit, fuck, no, it’s not—
As the car passed by, Anthony watched the driver do a double take and flip around farther up the road, tearing back toward them. Delilah climbed back inside and asked, “Jeez, what’s that guy’s problem?”
“It’s Pike,” Anthony said, gripping the steering wheel.
“Oh, no,” Delilah put her hand on his arm, a comforting gesture, but Anthony was too busy watching his best friend whip his car into the space in front of him and open his door. Pike, in a black jacket with a beanie pulled over his head, climbed out and marched toward their car. He stopped in front of the hood and pointed his finger at Anthony.
“I fucking knew it!”
Anthony checked for cars and hopped out, shutting the door as he jogged after Pike, who was already headed back to his car.
“Pike, hold up. It’s not what you think.”
“I’ll bet,” Pike scoffed, twisting around and shoving Anthony backward. Caught off guard, he stumbled a bit but caught himself. “I asked you, point blank, if you were interested and you said no.”
“I can explain everything but I don’t want to do this on the side of the highway.”
“I don’t want to do this at all. I just had to make sure it was you because I thought I was making myself crazy. Telling myself it was a weird coincidence that you changed your mind about visiting your dad.”
“That was all true!”
“When did it start? How long were the two of you fucking around and laughing at me?” Pike asked, his eyes blazing.
There was no use trying to tell Pike that wasn’t what they’d been doing. “Wednesday night.”
“After she rejected me? So, while I was waiting at the bar for you to show up, you were together?”
“It wasn’t like that—”
“Then explain it to me, man, because I knew you liked to razz me, but I always thought you respected me.”
“I do respect you, which is why I didn’t tell you about us over the phone. It’s why I said I wasn’t interested when you asked, even though I’ve been into her for almost a year.”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Pike asked.
“We kissed last year at Merry and Clark’s party. I knew she liked you so I stopped it, but I didn’t forget.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that when I was going on and on about dating her?”
“Because I thought she wanted you, too!”
Pike scoffed. “And the minute you found out she’d turned me down, you made your move.”
Anthony wanted to deny it, but that was exactly what happened. “I honestly didn’t expect you to be so invested, man. It had only been a couple of days.”
Pike laughed. “I can’t believe you’re trying to turn this around on me. Forget the fact that you made a move on her behind my back, you’re my business partner. My brother. And you fucking lied to me. That’s what I can’t get over.”
Anthony let Pike return to his car, at a loss for what to say. Pike wasn’t wrong. He’d lied. He hated liars and yet he’d become one because he wanted Delilah.
Her door opened and closed and he heard the crunch of her shoes on gravel before her hands covered his arms, lips pressing into his back. “He’ll get over it. We weren’t dating, so it’s not like we cheated.”
“I did worse. I lied to him, repeatedly.”
“Anthony, you’re both blowing this up way bigger than it needs to be. When he calms down, he’ll call and the two of you will patch this up.”
Anthony couldn’t take her cheerful optimism, not right now. “Let’s get you and Leia home.”
He started to walk back to the car but something hard connected with his butt. Anthony whirled around, his jaw hanging open. “Did you kick me?”
“Yes, and I almost fell over trying to reach your freakishly tall ass cheeks, but you needed it! The two of you are acting like children fighting over the same toy and it’s partly my fault. I should have told Pike when I turned him down it was because of you, but I didn’t know you cared until you tracked me down at the store that night. We can’t go back and fix our mistakes, but we can move forward. We’ve already let the horse out of the barn. Just”—her voice shook with emotion as she continued—“please don’t toss us aside because you think it will fix things.”
“I’m not tossing anything aside.”
“Really? So, you’re not thinking of cooling this off while you fix things with Pike?”
It had been at the back of his mind but hadn’t fully formed yet. “Not necessarily.”
Delilah laughed bitterly. “Wow. Just like that?”
“No, I just—my whole life, it’s been Nick, Noel, and Pike. Always the four of us, having each other’s backs. I fucked that up and I gotta fix it.”
“But why do you need to give me up to do that?”
Anthony didn’t have a good answer and Delilah shook her head. “You know what? I figured out why you’ve never been in love. There’s no room left to let anyone else in.”
“Delilah, stop.” He reached for her but she shook him off.
“You’re a coward, Anthony Russo. You chased me. You made me think this was going to be something amazing and now, you’re running scared.” Delilah dashed at her eyes and he wanted to hold her, to tell her he was sorry, but she didn’t want that from him. “Give me my keys.”
“They’re in the ignition.”
“Good.” Delilah rounded the car and climbed inside. Anthony barely got the passenger door closed behind him before she took off, gunning it for home.
Anthony buckled his seat belt, his mind racing. Normally he was the voice of reason in their friend group, but he’d messed up big-time, not just with Pike, but Delilah, too. While he was normally good under pressure, he’d never experienced anything like this and had no way of knowing how to navigate it.
“Lila,” he tried, but she cut him off.
“Don’t call me that. That’s over now.”
“Come on. Now who’s blowing things out of proportion?”
“You don’t get it. You are this tall, gorgeous, perfect specimen of manhood. You probably got picked first for every sport, girls fell all over themselves to go out with you. I have only ever been two people’s first choice. Holly’s and then yours. At least, I thought I was, but it turns out I’m not.”
The catch in her voice made Anthony sick to his stomach because he was the cause of her pain.
“Delilah, I’m not picking him over you. I just don’t want to throw away almost thirty years of friendship.”
She didn’t respond, just took the left onto the main road into Mistletoe and Anthony grabbed the oh-shit handle in response.
“Can you slow down a bit?” he asked.
“No, because as soon as I get home, I can get the hell away from you.”
Anthony didn’t know what to say to make any of this better, so he kept his mouth shut until she pulled into her driveway.
“Delilah, can we please talk about this?”
“What’s there to say?” Delilah got out of the car and went around to release Leia from the back seat. “Be sure to lock it after you get your stuff out.”
Anthony opened the door and stood up, calling after her, “I don’t want this to be the end.”
“I guess we don’t always get what we want.”