20. Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty
M addie
Chance’s body is made of hard muscles borne of discipline and a strict lifestyle.
Hell, I don’t know why he’s letting me hold him. Despite the exhaustion lining his eyes, he looks as though he’d manage to get in bed alright without my help.
I press a hand to his arm to stop him and open the room door. I meet his eyes and they’re watching me with a curious expression.
Yeah, yeah. He once had me on my back and pulled whimpers from my lips in this very room mere nights ago. But that’s not why we’re here.
I pull him to sit on the edge of the bed. He follows my lead and sits quietly with his hands on his thighs and his head down.
My heart squeezes. He looks like a year’s worth of stress is pressing down on his shoulders.
I lean in and kiss his face. His hands come up to my hips and start a slow caress, and as I go lower, his breath comes out heavier. Mine too.
No, Maddie .
I draw myself away and offer him a small smile. We’re not doing that. Instead, I kneel and reach for his buttons.
He lets me take them off, then shrugs off the shirt. Off comes his inner shirt next. Then he takes off his shoes, rises to his feet, and takes off his slacks and socks.
He’s in only briefs.
My eyes are saucers in my head.
It’s hard to push aside the part of myself that just wants to push him on his back and writhe in his lap.
I tear my eyes from that tall glass of temptation and meet his gaze.
He’s so tired.
“Come on.” I pat his chest and ease him back down onto the bed. “Lie back.”
He does as I ask—head on the pillow, hands on both sides of him, and his eyes on the ceiling.
I sit next to his prone figure and rub my hands gently up his chest. It’s smooth but firm and breaks out in gooseflesh beneath my touch.
I glance at his face to make sure this is alright. He’s giving me a soft look. So soft my heart melts with it.
I look back down to where my hands are tracing up the strong column of his neck to his jaw. He groans a sound in his throat and then closes his eyes.
My thumbs go up and down the lines of his jaw, while the rest of my fingers rub the underside of his ears. For the grand finish, I work my fingers into his hair.
He sighs and turns into my touch. My lips curve with a small smile, and I run my fingers through his hair, tracing different patterns to give him comfort.
Slowly, his breathing turns heavier, and his eyelids stop fluttering. I press a kiss on his cheek and he doesn’t react.
Even though there’s nowhere I’d rather be right now, I need to work tomorrow. I withdraw and pinch the edges of the covers at the bottom of the bed and drag them up.
He turns over, facing the ceiling once again. I’m careful not to stir him too much so his sleep is not disturbed.
I’m tucking the sheets around his chest when my fingers graze his skin. He makes a sound in his throat and grabs my hand. It’s a firm hold. I frown at the spot.
But then with my left hand, I work my fingers into his hair, then press a kiss to his forehead.
His hold relaxes but he doesn’t let go. “Don’t leave.”
My brows furrow. He’s asleep, right?
He places my hand flat on his chest and I feel the thump of his heartbeat.
“Don’t leave,” he says again.
A blush heats my cheeks. I stay that way with my hand on his chest. A smile plays on my lips. I planned to call Ralph and have him take me back to the villa, but right now, what’s the harm in staying? Chance asked me to.
“Mom.”
My brows go up. What?
“Mom,” he says again. “Don’t leave me.”
I withdraw my hand and fold it in my lap, watching his features. That isn’t about me spending the night. It’s about his mom.
But why? I remember the awkwardness around the subject of his mom that night. There must be something there. I need to find out and lay this curiosity to rest. Once and for all.
Julia is jolly at her desk the next day. She has earphones plugged in and she’s moving from side to side.
I pull one of the earphones and she turns around with an affronted look. It quickly changes to a smile as she sees it’s me.
“Hey, you. What’s up?”
“Do you know where I can find Baxter?” I look around the office. He’s like a mirage—everywhere and nowhere. I only run into him randomly and have never heard anyone mention an office attached to his name.
“Oh, he’ll be with the clients in the game room.”
“What?” My brows go up. “There’s a game room.”
“Mm-hmm.” She nods, then shuts her eyes and dances in her seat. Probably lost in her song again.
“I’ll leave you to that.” I start to walk away.
She gives me a thumbs up and yells the direction of the game room.
I don’t believe it until I find the door labeled ‘Game Room.’
The hell? We didn’t have a game room where I worked back home.
What’s the protocol?
I glance from side to side, then decide to knock before pushing my way in.
It’s like I’ve stepped into a different dimension. Music plays from a surround sound system, and staff sit casually on sofas having glasses of wine and chatting.
True to its name, there’s a dartboard in a corner, a ping pong table, a miniature golf course, hoverboards, and a foosball table that two people are going hard at right now.
My shock fades as I recall why I’m here. I find Baxter in an area that looks like a mini-living room from its setup. Two sets of chairs facing each other with a glass coffee table in between.
I cross the room toward him. His eyes lift and brighten as they fall on me. He says something to the people he’s talking to and rises to meet me.
“Maddie, I didn’t expect you in the fun corner of the building.”
“I didn’t know it existed!” I look around. “How is this allowed?” I spy the head of sales throwing darts. “How…”
He catches my gaze and shrugs. “For morale and shit like that.”
My eyes narrow. “It was your idea, wasn’t it?”
He grins proudly. “You know me too well, Maddie. Now, what can I do for you?”
I glance at the conversing men he was with moments ago. “Julia said you were with clients, but…”
“Whatever reason you’re here bothered you so much you didn’t mind interrupting.”
“Yes. Do you have the time?”
“I think I can spare a few minutes.” He excuses himself and speaks to the men, then returns to my side. “I’ll find us a quiet spot.”
He leads the way out of the game room to a room covered end to end with shelves that carry documents. There’s no one here but us.
He stops and turns, nodding. “What’s up?”
“It’s about Chance,” I admit.
“I knew this day would come.”
I frown at his smug smile. “What?”
“No, no. Ignore all of this.” He gestures at his face. “Just lay your heart bare.”
“Lay my heart— What do you think is about to happen?”
He laughs. “It’s not about what I think. It’s about what’s meant to be.”
“I have no idea what you’re insinuating.”
He tries and fails to rein in his smile. “Sorry, I won’t rush you. Take your time. Tell me everything.”
“Okaaay.” I give our surroundings a cursory scan.
It’s only us. Sighing, I spill. “Last night, Chance said something when he was about to sleep. ‘Don’t leave me, Mom.’ And he has been awkward around the subject of his mom—your mom.
I know she passed but I don’t understand his reaction and I think it’s only you that can tell me why that is. ”
Baxter’s smile falls until there’s nothing left but severe lines and a tight frown.
“Baxter?”
He looks away from me. “I’m sorry, Maddie. Whatever you noticed, take it up with Chance yourself. It’s not my place to say.”
He starts to move around me. What the hell? I catch his arm, forcing him to stop. “Baxter, what is it? Did something bad happen? Why can’t you tell me?”
He sighs, his broad shoulders sinking. “I’m sorry.” He extracts his hand easily from my hold.
My heart crumbles. Whatever this is, it eats deep into Chance, and apparently, Baxter too. If I let him go, I’ll never know and never understand Chance more.
You’re leaving, Maddie. What does it matter?
It matters. So fucking much. It hurts to see Chance pained and broken, and that’s how he looked when we spoke of his mom. I need to get to the bottom of this.
I go around Baxter and block the exit to prevent him from leaving. “Baxter, please. I need to know.”
“Then maybe ask him?”
“He won’t tell me.”
Baxter’s gaze drops because he knows I’m right. Hell, I can almost imagine Chance shutting down if I broach the subject.
“Please,” I press. “I care about him and I want him to be alright. If there’s anything I can do, then I’d like to know.”
Baxter meets my eyes and I know he has caved. He reaches behind me and turns the lock on the door, then leads the way deeper into the storage room. He sits on the desk and points to the free chair.
I take it dutifully and keep my eyes on him. He looks at me for a long minute before sighing.
“I know this will come back to bite me in the butt, but here it is.” His eyes carry a faraway look and I hold my breath so I don’t interrupt.
“My mom, our mom, was diabetic. There were times she was alright, and at other times it hit her hard. During the last episode that claimed her life, Dad, Landon and I weren’t on the Island.
But Chance was. Dad kinda told him to take care of Mom.
It was just a statement.” He shakes his head.
“Chance was a twenty-one-year-old back for the holidays and having fun with his girlfriend. He didn’t know. ”
“Didn’t know what?”
Baxter shakes his head as if willing the thoughts away.
But his eyes dim with the memory. “According to him, he was out having a good time with his girlfriend. Just being silly young people. When they returned to his car, there were numerous calls from Mom’s number.
He rushed to the house to check on her, but the paramedics were already there. She was already gone.”
“Oh, no.” I press my hands to my lips, my heart breaking.
“He always blamed himself. If only he wasn’t out having fun, he could have been there for Mom. If only he was more responsible. A host of if-onlys. For months, he wallowed, blamed himself, and hated himself. When he came out of it, he was different.”
“Different how?”
“He was far more focused than any young person his age had a right to be. Since then, he has worked himself to the bone, as if trying to pay for what he says is his fault. He denies himself everything remotely pleasurable.” His gaze fixes on me. “Even a woman to love.”
I push aside the feeling that crops up in my chest at those words, certain he doesn’t mean me. Just some woman, any woman.
That’s why Chance always seems out of reach.
“Till today, he still punishes himself. That’s it, Maddie. That’s my brother’s story.”
The lock jiggles and someone knocks.
“That’s our cue.” Baxter heads out and opens the door.
I follow behind him in a daze, unable to shake off the words he said.
We walk past a woman who gives us a curious look, but I couldn’t care less. The only person I care about has been in torment for all these years. And now my heart hurts too.