Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
WILL
Day Eight
We take our wines to the sofa; the candlelight flickers around us, casting our shadows on the brick walls.
I’m on my third glass of wine, barely noticing that our thighs brush against one another.
Sam stretches out, his leg over mine, and I place a hand on his shin, feeling his soft hairs between my fingers.
Sam’s digital clock shines: 00:00. Midnight.
‘Seventeen days left,’ he whispers, not looking at me.
Seventeen days.
‘Bloody hell, that’s gone fast.’ I lean my head against the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. ‘A lot has changed in eight days.’
‘Yeah, it has.’
‘I want to ask you about what you told me in the sea.’
Sam leans back, as if stretching. His eyebrows shoot up as he reaches for his wine. ‘Go on, then.’
I adjust where I sit, turning to see him better. My fingers graze over his leg and he closes his eyes, smiling.
‘You said you haven’t had a relationship in years. Why not?’
‘Kind of the same reason I don’t have proper friends,’ Sam says.
Sam’s wine-free hand reaches for mine, and he traces his fingers across the veins on my hand. The breath hitches in my throat.
‘You said you thought I was confident,’ Sam says. ‘To an extent, sure, I am. But when it comes to making friends, building relationships, I don’t know how to do it. I close myself off. And then there’s Mum.’
‘What about her?’
His touch sends electric shocks through me, and I thought of pulling away, but my hand doesn’t move.
‘She needs me.’ Sam sighs, looking away. His finger runs the length of my hand. ‘She gets lonely. The coffee shop keeps her busy. There hasn’t been time for anyone else, because I can’t imagine leaving Mum to focus on someone else.’
It’s like an iron fist has gripped my heart. His words let me walk beyond the barriers he’s put around himself, stopping others from helping.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘That must be tough.’
Sam slouches where he sits, resting his head against the sofa. He’s stopped caressing my hand, leaving behind a tingle. I brush the spot he touched, as if I could still feel him there.
A silence stretches between us, Athens holding still.
‘Do you want to stay the night?’
Sam waits for my response with puppy dog eyes.
‘Is that a good idea?’
Befuddled thoughts swirl in my head. This place only has one bedroom.
One bed.
But looking at him now, his wide eyes, that innocent expression, I could stay with him.
‘You can see my bitching Pokémon card collection,’ Sam says.
‘Tempting, but I think we should save that for another night.’ He looks away, and I want to reach out and reassure him that it wasn’t him. But I couldn’t, wouldn’t.
I sip my wine, lost in thought. Sam looks anywhere but at me. What are we doing? Our date has felt like an actual date. This closeness has felt more than fake. Yet neither of us acknowledges it.
‘I should go.’
‘Please stay,’ Sam whispers.
‘Sam.’
‘It’s dark out.’
‘I’m a big boy.’
Sam giggles. ‘Let me at least order you an Uber.’
I flick the edge of Sam’s nose. ‘Deal.’