Chapter 2 #2
We talk about the diner. And Garrett’s work. It’s stilted as if we haven’t seen each other for months instead of weeks.
“The manicotti is delicious, Aidyn.” His eyes sparkle, and I could get lost in that look if I tried. I grunt a response, not trusting my words. His smile widens.
“Da? I was thinking about staying at Zoey’s.”
My eyes dart to her. It’s not just her words. She’s said this or similar words many times before. “You’re still grou—”
“Not tonight,” she says, quickly darting a look at Garrett.
She doesn’t want him to know. Doesn’t want to discuss what happened ever again. Or so she’s told me. “On Friday then?” That’s when her grounding ends.
“Friday would be great. But she invited me to this thing they’re doing a few weeks from now.”
“A few weeks?” It’s not like her to be vague, so I’m immediately suspicious.
“Um…twenty-four days from now?”
I’m still trying to piece it together when Garrett jumps in. “Christmas?”
She shrugs.
I gape at her. “You want to spend Christmas with Zoey instead of your family?”
She shrugs and darts a look at Garrett. “It’s just another day, right?
“Well,” Garrett says, looking sheepish.
I glare at them both. “You canna skip Christmas.”
“Uncle Garrett does.”
“We don’t skip Christmas—”
“Anyway, I’m not skipping it. Zoey’s family goes all out. They have a huge tree and decorations, and everything. It’s not a big deal.”
I’m seething, and I avoid looking at Garrett. “Lanie—”
“What?” she says, shooting out of her chair. “We’re not doing anything.”
I practically growl the words. “You don’t know that.”
“When was the last time we did anything special on Christmas? You get the artificial tree out. Put on a few ornaments. On Christmas morning, we exchange presents. It’s over in five minutes.” She crosses her arms. “Zoey’s family has a big Christmas dinner and a real tree. It’s fun and not—”
Sad. Is that the word she left out?
“We have fun.”
She doesn’t answer. But her jaw is set as she leans against her chair and stares at something across the room.
Garrett swirls the ice in his drink. He’s no help. I try again.
“Darlin’, Christmas is for family—”
“Then why isn’t our family ever here for Christmas?”
She’s not wrong. Everyone has their own family now. Zye and Miles. Isaac and Simon are usually off with Prince Adrian. And Garrett avoids Christmas. Should I let her go? My chest squeezes painfully. If Lanie isn’t here…I’ll be completely alone.
Garrett spears his manicotti and shoves it in his mouth. He won’t look at me, but I can’t worry about that. If Emily were still alive…but she isn’t. And nothing will bring her back.
I clear my throat. “This year’s gonna be different.”
Both of them stare at me. Lanie looks guarded, like she doesn’t quite believe me, but I can see the spark of hope in her eyes. And I want to protect that hope. Nurture it.
Garrett stares at me with eyes so big they give the moon something to shoot for. And I recognize that look. Fear.
“I’ve got a few things in motion, lass.”
She returns to her seat. Progress. “What things?”
I swallow. “We’re gonna have a real tree.” Not sure how, since there isn’t much room and the stairs are difficult to maneuver. But that’s a problem for another day. “And family. Family will be here.” I scramble to think who I can get. Has everyone made Christmas plans already?
“Even Uncle Garrett?”
His eyes widen. “Oh, um—”
I ignore the panic in his voice. “Of course Uncle Garrett will be here.” In for a penny, right? “In fact, this year, he’s helping me host.”
After Lanie leaves for her room to do her homework, I gather the mostly empty plates and take them to the kitchen.
Garrett follows. “Aidyn—”
“I panicked, okay? I know you don’t do Christmas for some stupid reason—” I stop and take a deep breath. “Sorry.”
“Let me help you clean up.”
“I’ve got it.” I put the dishes in the sink and lean against it, trying to keep from spiraling.
“You’re a stubborn ass, Aidyn.” His hand lands in the center of my back. “What were you thinking? You know I don’t—”
“Do I? Up until last year, you lived in New York and were too busy to come home. And then last Christmas—” But thinking about that couple and the accident reminds me too much of Emily. “Maybe I thought you’d join us this year.”
He doesn’t respond, so I focus on cleaning. After the dishwasher is loaded and everything is clean, I turn to face Garrett.
He rubs the back of his neck. “Do you want me to leave?”
“It’s just…” I scrub my face. “Why is it harder now? When you used to visit from New York, you stayed with me. In my bed.”
“Now, it would look suspicious.”
I sigh. “It would.”
He touches my face, and I don’t pull away. “Aidyn…I don’t want to fight.”
“You sure?” A smile slips out. “I remember a time when you loved to slam me against the refrigerator. And you ruined some of my favorite shirts.”
He slides a glance over my button-up like he’s considering it. “Come here,” he says, grabbing my shirt and pulling me closer. I laugh, letting him capture me in his arms.
“I fucking miss you so much.”
“Same, love.”
He crushes our mouths together, and the anticipation, the need, bursts into this all-consuming want that’s difficult to contain. “Garrett, fuck.” I cling to him as he kisses me harder.
I pull back and rest our heads together. “We can’t. Lanie.”
“Sorry. That’s on me. I got carried away.” His next kiss is softer but more restrained.
We make out like it’s been years since we’ve kissed. Never taking it too far. And always listening for my daughter’s footsteps.
And then I reluctantly pull away. “I have something for you.”
He tilts his head, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Aidyn…”
“Don’t start complaining just yet. It’s nothing big.” Better to just give it to him.
I reach above the refrigerator and pull it down.
He stares at the present like it’s a bomb. It’s not even wrapped, for Christ’s sake. “What is it?”
“It’s an Advent calendar. For counting down the days to Christmas.”
“It’s a great present for someone who doesn’t like Christmas.”
“Stop being such a Grinch. I thought it was fun.”
He turns it over in his hands. “Chocolate kisses?”
“Yes. And you like chocolate.” I dare him to say otherwise.
He bites his lip as if he’s not sure if he likes it or not.
“Just say thank you, Garrett, and eat a piece of candy.”
He turns it over again. “So I have a chocolate kiss every day until Christmas?”
“That’s how it works.”
He nods and opens the flap, revealing the candy inside. He slowly unwraps the chocolate and pops it in his mouth. “It’s good. But I’d rather have the real thing.”
I laugh. At least he’s not throwing it down in disgust. “That’s fair, love.”
“I mean it. You want me to count down to Christmas? Give me something to look forward to. One kiss every day until Christmas.”
“A real kiss?” I study his face. Is he serious? “I’d love that, darlin’, but with our schedules—”
“Giving up already?”
He knows how to motivate me, I’ll give him that. “Fine. One kiss every day until Christmas. But you have to do some of the work.”
“It’s my present.”
I cross my arms. No way am I backing down. “Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Good. This is day one.” Slamming him against the refrigerator, I devour his mouth. If he wants something to look forward to, I’m up for the challenge.
When we come up for air, his chest is heaving. I did that. I put that look in his eyes. “I get to kiss you every day? I might actually enjoy Christmas.”
“As an added bonus, Lanie is spending Friday night with Zoey. If you’re a good Santa”—I grab the growing bulge in his pants, and he moans—“I know just the elf to take care of this.”