Chapter 5
Five
GARRETT
Sixteen Days Until Christmas
What the fuck is happening?
The sounds around me are dulled, like I’m wrapped in a cushion.
Is this a joke? My parents don’t have a sense of humor, but they can’t be serious. Sure, let’s put the guy who hates Christmas in particular and family events in general in charge of family Christmas. I laugh abruptly. “What the fuck?”
“Garrett! Watch your language—”
A hand grips my shoulder painfully. “Can I talk to you?”
I stare at Aidyn. He’s not exactly blurry. More like he’s in and out of focus. My mind is unable to latch onto anything. A blackness hovers in the background, threatening to take over. His fingers tighten and I focus on the pain. The green of his eyes. The sound of his voice. “Garrett?”
What did he ask? I nod. But it’s less of an answer to his question and more of an agreement to him taking over.
He moves close to me and motions for me to get up. The voices around me are faint.
“Garrett, are you okay?”
I’m not sure who’s asked, and I don’t really care. All my energy is focused on Aidyn and not passing out in front of my family.
Aidyn grabs my wrist and guides me through the restaurant, which seems to have filled with more people. He leads me through the kitchen and out the back to the garden. Emily’s garden.
The cold air is sharp and wakes me out of my stupor.
“Christ, Garrett.” He grabs my chin and forces my gaze to his. “Breathe, love.”
I nod, gasping as the cold air hits my lungs. After a few deep breaths, I give another nod. “I’m okay.”
“Are you now?” Along with the worry, there’s a spark of amusement in his eyes.
“I’m fine,” I say, my tone sharp. His brows raise, and I shake my head. “Sorry. I’m okay. Thank you.” I turn to go back inside, and he grabs my arm again, more gently this time.
“Aidyn, I’m fine. It’s fine.” And I laugh, sounding hysterical and proving I’m not actually fine.
“I know Christmas isn’t your thing—”
“Isn’t my thing?” And now I’m yelling. “My Christmas plans usually consist of eating leftovers and watching Netflix. I know fuck-all about trees and decorations and fig pudding.” My chest squeezes painfully as memories flash—
Wrapping paper strewn about. Jamming the Santa hat down on my head. “Oh wait.” I pick up the small package. “One last present.”
I shove the memories down, deep down, where they belong. Where I can’t find them. And shake my head. “I can’t do this.”
“You can, love.”
“But I don’t fucking want to!”
He tenses, and I brace myself for the explosion. Aidyn should yell at me. I fucking deserve it. Instead, he gently captures my face in his hands. “I’ve got you, love.” At his questioning look, I nod. “Now, hear me out.”
I nod again—is that really all I’m capable of?—and he swipes the tears from my face. I never cry. What the hell?
“We talked about doing something for Lanie, remember? Now it’s just gotten a wee bit bigger.”
I can feel my resistance slipping away. What choice do I have? Unless I kick my parents out, Christmas will be at my house. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. “Using your daughter to manipulate me is low.”
“Fuck off,” he says, his voice gruff, but his eyes are full of emotion. Worry. Love. He brushes his lips against mine. “Don’t do it if you don’t want to. You’re a grown-up.” He gives me a crooked grin. “Almost forty…”
I laugh. “Fuck off.”
As I try to pull away, he wraps his arms around me. “You can’t blame me for wanting to spend Christmas with my boyfriend.” This kiss is longer, and I grab his shirt. Afraid to let him go.
“Fuck, Aidyn. You don’t fight fair.”
“Are we fighting? Because there are usually appliances involved.”
I lean against him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. And I fucking hate not knowing.”
“I’ll help you, darlin’. You just have to ask.”
I sigh. “Fine. This is me asking.”
“That wasn’t so hard.” This kiss is full of promises, and I’m slightly disoriented when he stops. “And you’re forgetting the best part.”
“There’s a best part?”
He drops his hands and steps back, a grin on his face. “There is. If I’m helping my clueless brother-in-law with the family Christmas, I’ll have to spend a lot of time with him. So much time.”
Maybe this isn’t a bad thing. I can do this. I tilt my head to consider his words. “Will any of this time be spent naked?”
“Completely naked. Except for the Santa hat.”