Chapter 19
Nineteen
GARRETT
One Day until Christmas
I owe my team an apology. They were right. The TARDIS is relaxing. Except memories of kissing Aidyn keep popping up. God. I fucked up. Why did I leave? And why didn’t I take my truck?
The snow wasn’t that heavy, but I was upset, and when I slid off the road, I couldn’t get the Lexus out of the snowbank. I trudged through the blowing snow to the event hall.
And now I’m sitting in a TARDIS.
Will Aidyn ever be ready? Can I wait for him? Again, what choice do I have? I tried to get over him. I left the state.
But that was before I knew what it felt like to have him love me. How it felt to kiss him. Wake up next to him. The passion when he fucked me.
And the care he took afterward.
Knock knock.
I jump at the sound. Who could be here this late?
“You might as well come out.”
Nat. It figures. I open the door. “What do you want?” I tilt my head as I look out the door.
Nat looks at me sideways. “I told you it was peaceful.” She raises an eyebrow at my sweatpants.
I shrug. “My clothes were wet from the snow. So I changed.” Good thing I always keep spare clothes here.
“I have something for you. But we can’t both fit in there comfortably…although you and Christy seemed snug as two bugs in a rug. Now, if Ramon—”
“I’m coming out.” Once I extract myself from the TARDIS, Nat hands me a cup of coffee. I wrap my hands around the warm mug and take a sip. Perfect, of course.
Bless this woman.
I follow her to my office and take a seat behind my desk. She pulls up a chair similar to how I had. Was that just yesterday?
When I don’t say anything, Nat starts. “Hanging out at the office, huh? Christmas going that well?”
“Fantastic. How’s your Christmas going?”
“Well, for starters, I’m here. And not with Ramon.”
I stare at my desk. It seems like forever ago that I took off work. When Aidyn was here, and we made out in the TARDIS. Closing my eyes, I enjoy the warmth from the coffee and the momentary silence. It won’t last long.
“Where’s your car?”
“Stuck. Did Isaac call you?”
“Maybe.”
I can’t avoid Nat forever. “I hope he did. Then I don’t have to explain what happened.”
“Oh, you still have to explain it. The last thing I heard when I called was you and your lumberjack baker making smooching noises. Then your phone died. So spill the tea. What happened?”
How can I explain it? “I ruined everything.”
“Hmmm. Probably.” She smirks. “But I might need specifics to create an informed opinion.”
I start out with a few details, but that doesn’t last long. This is Nat. I tell her everything, starting with Aidyn and Lanie’s sleepover at my house, and how much I enjoyed waking up next to Aidyn.
“Wow. You really are gone for this guy.” I glare at her, and she laughs. “That’s not a bad thing, boss. It means you’re human. The other employees will be thrilled to hear it.”
I laugh in spite of my broken heart. “Enjoying sleeping next to someone makes me human?”
“It’s more that you didn’t hurt anyone when they trashed your house.”
“The night is young.”
“Christy didn’t say anything during all that?”
I slowly shake my head. “Not much.”
She nods. “I think I get the picture. Your house is in chaos. Your secret boyfriend let everyone think you were in love with your sister’s straight husband and it was one-sided. Have I got it so far? Oh, and that Vivian guy is still harassing Jonah.”
“Wait,” I say, leaning closer, “did Jonah really try to get him fired?”
“I don’t know. I try not to get involved in lovers’ spats.”
I stare at her. “They hate each other.”
“Exactly.”
I decide to leave that alone. I also don’t point out the obvious flaw in her statement. She’s helping me with Aidyn. “Well?”
“I think I’ve got it. Things got tough, and you ran off.”
“Hey. Not cool. And that’s not what happened.” Although it’s really, really close
She taps her fingers on her chin. “It’s simple, really, Garrett. Do you love him?”
“More than anything. But he’s not ready to come out. Might never be ready.”
She leans forward in her chair. “So that’s it then? That’s everything?”
“No.” I laugh. “And it’s not even that if I’m being honest.”
When I stop, she rolls her hand. Remembering that she’s missing her own family thing to be here with me motivates me to talk.
“After Aidyn proposed to Emily, I never went to another family Christmas—or Thanksgiving—until now.”
“Why not?”
I shrug, not sure I understand it myself.
“At first, it was so I could avoid the pain of seeing them together. But not just that. I didn’t want to mess up the thing they had.
They were both so happy. When I moved to New York, I didn’t have to pretend as much during the holidays.
But I lost all that time. With Emily. With Lanie and with Jane.
Because I was selfish. I don’t deserve—” I swallow the words.
“To be happy? Self-preservation isn’t selfish.”
“Have you been talking to Aidyn?” I ask. She opens her mouth, and I shake my head. “Never mind. Go on.”
“But you’re really being selfish now.”
“Jesus, Nat. Is this a pep talk?”
“I don’t do pep talks. Suck it up and make things happen or wallow. But go one way or the other. And don’t cry to me if all your Christmases to come are sad and lonely because you were too scared to take a chance.”
“Beautiful, Nat. We should have you write all the wedding vows from now on.”
“Fuck off, McGrinchy.”
I shake my head. “I’m being selfish because I didn’t give Aidyn a chance to explain?”
She stares at me. “You still don’t get it. Let’s examine the facts, shall we? It’s snowing out. And your car got stuck in the snow.”
“Yes. But what does that have to do with anything?”
“Hold on. The snow is blowing so hard that tracks are impossible to find. And your guy lost someone he loves in a freak accident. How do you think he’s feeling right now? Especially since your phone is dead and there’s no way to get a hold of you.”
“Fuck.” I jump out of my chair, knocking it into the wall. Aidyn is definitely freaking out. “My phone is charging…” I turn it on. Fifteen missed calls from Aidyn. “Shit, shit, shit.”
I send him a quick text letting him know I’m okay.
“Come on. I’ll take you home to your guy.” She smirks and pops the gum in her mouth. “Unless he gave up on you. I mean, I would have.”
I laugh. “You’re really good at this, Nat. Thanks.”
“No problem, boss. Anything to get me away from all those kids.”