9. Fig
Fig
“I t’s fine. Stop fussing. You don’t have to be here for this,” Zoe said into the phone.
In the exam room, waiting for the nurse to come back, she shifted in the stiff chair, glad as hell she wasn’t on the exam table with her pants off again.
According to the nurse’s teasing, by the time the baby came out, she wouldn’t care that she was flashing a dozen people, all focused on the slimy thing coming out of her vag.
“It’s not fine. I promised I’d be there for appointments, and I’m already failing.” Out of breath and hissing a whisper as he was clearly walking somewhere fast, Ryder sounded stressed as hell. “Did you figure out how to accept the calendar share invitation?”
“I did, and I added this one, but you really didn’t see it?
” Calendars. Wow, she’d never needed a calendar.
Work was easy, as she just printed an extra copy of the pub’s schedule for everyone.
Not that Finn didn’t tease her for not knowing how to send it electronically, but Mom always printed them.
It worked just fine. “I should have warned you that it’s not that I’m technologically impaired, but I am…
technologically disinterested and thus lack the proper knowledge on the use of shared calendars. ”
A delicious laugh filled the air as he teased her. “I had no idea. But I cannot fault you for that. I started wearing contacts a few years ago, after a lifetime of better than twenty-twenty vision. The eye doctor told me it was because I spend too much time at a computer.”
“I have excellent vision,” she snorted back.
“Okay, all set. I’m back in my office, door closed,” he said in a regular speaking voice. “Let me just set my availability to busy… All set.”
“Now you get to entertain me while I wait for the nurse.”
“So, this is the intake visit? What does that mean?”
“Haley warned me this was akin to bloodletting, physically and emotionally.”
“Oh, ouch. I’m really sorry I couldn’t be there with you.”
The office was packed to the gills today. People coming and going in all directions, women with bellies of varying sizes, plus the awkward ones like Zoe usually was, just there for a pap or something. At least it was quieter in the room, the chatter of the office dulled to white noise.
Why did they keep these rooms so freezing? Even fully clothed, she shivered. “Remind me to bring a sweatshirt next time. It is freezing in here.”
“I hate that, a cold doctor’s office. It adds to the ambience though, I suppose.”
“This one’s not so bad with the ambience, at least. I have a window and can see out into the forest, although I hope they close the blinds before an exam. Everything is a soothing blue or faux leather or faux wood, and the fluorescent light panels have cute clouds on them.”
“The light panels are covered?”
“So,” she explained with babying didacticness, “When someone needs to access a vagina, that is often easiest done whilst a woman is lying on her back…”
“I get it,” he said, and laughed, but she heard the unmistakable clattering of a keyboard. “Although I accessed your vagina via many positions.” He quickly laughed and snorted. “Shit, I almost typed that.”
“Why, Ryder Mallory, are you working through our appointment?”
“Fuck, sorry,” he said, and the clicking stopped. “Habit. I hate letting emails sit for very long, or they pile up and make my life miserable.”
“How’s everything going with Bellamy Athletics?
Have they met with Jagger yet—wait, the nurse is here.
” Zoe covered the phone and answered the door, “Um, come in.” So weird, responding like this was her house, but better than being caught with her pants down.
At least that wasn’t on today’s agenda. It seemed like every time she came in this building, she was flashing someone.
“Hello, Zoe,” the nurse said warmly. “I’m Vanessa.
I’m a registered nurse and I get to ask you many questions, then take your blood.
” Not what she expected. No scrubs, but breezy tan trousers and a simple black t-shirt.
Although, she did wear the classic white leather sneakers and her hair was tied back in a neat bun.
“Hi Vanessa.” Zoe held up the phone and shrugged. “Ryder had to work so I have him on the phone. That’s okay, right?”
“Of course. I’ve got questions for him too,” she said, and nodded companionably while she signed onto her laptop, and set it on the vacant exam table, making it into a makeshift desk.
“Alright, Ryder, you’re on speaker.”
“Hi,” he said. He would have to send pictures of his fancy corner office, as he’d joked about putting in a sofa—not for socializing, as much as squeezing in naps, or even moving in when he had a late meeting followed by an early day.
Vanessa ran them through a few standard questions, nothing too awkward, and Ryder stayed mostly quiet. No more clicking keys at least, but he had to be bored.
“Next, Zoe, how are you feeling? Breast tenderness?”
“Yes,” Zoe said, cringing as she realized this was about to get personal, and Ryder was hearing every bit of it. She could mute, she supposed, but it was only two months ago his hands and his mouth had explored most of her, so…
“Any spotting, vaginal discharge, anything like that?”
“Um…” Shit. Zoe huffed a breath and blushed, grateful she hadn’t attempted a video call so Ryder couldn’t see her awkwardness, just hear it. “Ryder, plug your ears,” she teased, “Or just… yeah.”
“You can mute or call me back,” he said gently. “But I’m not easily grossed out. I actually designed a vaginal health campaign for charity once. Long story.”
“Okay,” Zoe said, cringing a smile and shrugging for the nurse. “A little discharge, but nothing more than… um… it’s just productive down there.”
“A little increase is normal, just let us know if it gets to be odorous, uncomfortable, or unusual.”
Well, at least that one was over with. A few dozen more possible symptoms to check off, and at least she got some good tips on loosening the constipation a bit.
As Ryder stayed quiet through most of it, Zoe drifted and pictured the what if, of Raphe.
He’d have disappeared at the first mention of discharge.
Would he have laughed, or would he have been disgusted, over her acknowledgment of the constipation and her many attempts to get things moving?
Ugh, he probably would have demanded why she hadn’t asked him for advice and then pretended to be an expert and give her a dozen hot tips.
“Your turn, Ryder,” Vanessa said, directing her voice toward the speaker phone.
“No vaginal discharge for me,” he said with a heavy sigh.
“Ha ha,” Zoe teased back.
“Recent STD testing?” Vanessa asked.
“Negative testing about two months ago, a few days after the night that got us into this… situation.”
“Hey, good job,” Zoe said, laughing and loving the awkward hesitance in his voice, but he was honest. “I got tested too.”
Vanessa looked back and forth between Zoe and the phone, and her dark eyebrows drew together. “I’ve gotten in the habit of starting with the easy questions, but while we’re on the subject… was this a planned pregnancy?”
Zoe and Ryder both laughed, and damn, she blushed and shook her head, and remembered Ryder couldn’t see her expressions.
“No, no, no,” she said hoarsely. “We actually hadn’t seen each other in years, then bumped into each other—ha, like, bumped a little too hard—at our siblings’ wedding. He lives in Phoenix.”
A single dark eyebrow lifted and Vanessa’s eyes widened. “Um…” she said, pursing her lips together to hold the sound until she either worked up the nerve to ask about inbreeding or someone cleared the air.
“Whoa, no,” Ryder said, laughing fully and Zoe wished she could see his face. “My sister married Zoe’s brother. We are not related, not at all, not even a little.”
“Well, by marriage now,” Zoe added helpfully.
“And a little peanut of our combined DNA in my belly.” She shrugged and said to Vanessa, “It was a very lovely wedding. We used a condom.” She was going to get a t-shirt—ha, a maternity shirt—that said they had used a condom.
Although, well, she probably shouldn’t go around telling young impressionable individuals that condoms didn’t work.
It usually did, just not this time… yeah.
Maybe a wrinkled wallet condom had been a bad choice.
Or the many position changes whilst trying to make the thin bit of latex last as long as possible.
“Well, that ship has sailed,” Vanessa joined in the teasing and laughed with them. She must hear so many stories. “So this appointment is like a fun get-to-know-you activity for you both. Like a little date.”
“Ha,” Zoe snorted, and covered her mouth and tried to speak again. “We’re not dating.”
“She’s got a boyfriend,” Ryder added with an excess of cheer, seeming to be enjoying increasing the awkwardness. “Who isn’t me.”
The force of her laugh sent her head tipping back, and Zoe’s feet came off the floor.
“Stop making this worse,” she yelped. As soon as she calmed her mortified laughter enough, she cleared her throat and said, “I did not have a boyfriend when we slept together, and… but…” Zoe bit her tongue and stopped talking.
Neither the time nor the place to mention the breakup.
Not that it mattered… but it did… but it wasn’t supposed to. Dammit, this was weird.
“Fuck, my boss—” Ryder said, and quickly corrected. “Sorry for the f-bomb, forgot where we were. My boss is standing outside my office, waving at me. I should have closed the curtains. Do you mind if I see what he wants and call you right back?”
“No prob. Do what you gotta do,” Zoe answered, and shrugged for Vanessa.
“I’ll call right back,” he said again.
Good thing they weren’t dating, or Zoe suspected this would become a regular part of their relationship.
“So…” Vanessa said again, her eyes wide and smile halfway between confused and amused. “Let’s get some of the more personal questions out of the way, while it’s just the two of us.”
“Fire away,” Zoe said, and settled back in her seat. The vaginal discharge had been personal enough. By the time they’d gone through her complete medical history, Zoe glanced at Vanessa’s screen and realized she wasn’t nearly as perfectly healthy as she’d thought.
Vanessa snapped the laptop lid closed and rolled back. “We can update his end of things next time. Mostly from his side, we want to know if there are any genetic things to consider, birth defects, that sort of thing. You don’t happen to know…”
Zoe shook her head vaguely. “Nope. He’s pretty healthy though, and his half-sister is now my sister-in-law, and she’s healthy and having a pretty normal pregnancy.”
“No problem. He can update us at the next visit, or sooner if there’s anything we need to know right away.” Vanessa left the room for a moment and returned with a tray of torture devices.
A beat skipped in her chest, and Zoe felt the blood draining from her head. Her eyes widened and she bit her lips together.
Vanessa scrubbed her hands and started organizing tubes, needles, vials, whatever all that crap was, and she quietly hummed a little tune, not at all disturbed by the fact that she was about to stab the very nice person sitting across the room. With no escape… although, the window…
Zoe leaped halfway to the ceiling at the abrupt start of her phone ringing. She silenced her yelp and laughed out loud.
“Go ahead,” Vanessa said, nodding to Zoe’s phone.
“I am so sorry,” Ryder said immediately as Zoe answered. “I will be there in person next time, I swear.”
“Stop apologizing. Your timing couldn’t be better. She’s about to stab me,” Zoe hissed dramatically. “Help,” she teased.
Ryder’s laugh echoed deliciously as she clicked onto speaker.
“Can you see why I feel so guilty about not being there?” He clicked a few keys, and abruptly stopped.
“Let’s see, breathe, Zoe, breathe. We haven’t taken a birthing class yet—dang, we need to do that.
Anyway, I don’t know how I’m supposed to coach you through terrifying things like needles yet. ”
Easily moving her supply tray toward Zoe, Vanessa was calm and gentle, and motioned to see Zoe’s arm. “We have some recommendations on that. I can send Zoe off with a few brochures, depending on the approach you prefer. You’ve got plenty of time to think about it.”
“Just knock me out for it,” Zoe teased, watching closely as Vanessa inspected both of Zoe’s inner elbows. “The blood draw I mean. My mom had all three of us au naturel, and I want to try.”
“Right arm okay?” Vanessa asked.
Zoe nodded.
“You got this, Zoe. You got this,” Ryder said helpfully. “What’s happening?” he added in a feigned whisper.
“She’s going Dracula on me,” Zoe hissed back. She extended her arm and rested it on the tray where Vanessa showed her.
A tight rubber band squeezed her arm. Vanessa snapped a little tool and rubbed Zoe down with cold wet sterilizing stuff.
“What was that snapping sound? I hope that wasn’t your neck,” Ryder asked in a low, feigned worried voice. “Zoe, are you okay? Are you dead?” he added dramatically.
The needle came nearer, nearer, its stinger ready to puncture.
“I’m still alive, barely,” she squeaked. “It looks like a dragonfly with a stinger.”
“Dracula can shift into a dragonfly? I thought Dracula was a bat shifter.”
Vanessa kept quiet, a silent laugh behind her smile.
“The lesser known vampire dragonfly is invading Foothills.” Zoe tensed up and cringed for the impending poke.
“Does garlic work?” Ryder asked. “Sunlight? How can I keep you safe from vampire dragonflies? I’m not ready for this.”
A tiny sting, no more than that, and the needle was in. Vanessa held it still with one hand, and used her other hand to insert a vial into the other end of the tube and sucked out blood.
“It’s happening,” Zoe murmured dramatically. “That is so weird. That’s my blood. It’s quite red.”
“If it was coming out blue, I’d be worried. Or impressed, I guess,” Ryder said. “So you don’t need me to send help? I was just sharpening my collection of wooden stakes.”
Warmth washed over Zoe as the tubes filled and she remained conscious. “I’m safe enough for now. We’re about done. I’ll try to figure out the calendar once I’m done here. You can get back to work.”
“Sorry, again—”
“Stop apologizing. We’ll figure this out.”
“Okay. Thanks, Zoe, for including me.”
“Thanks for not leaving me alone through this.”