11. Papaya
Papaya
“T hat’s the baby’s heart?” Zoe asked, staring at the black-and-white screen, the sound of whooshing and the rapid flutter of the tiny structure filling the small, darkened room. About the only structure she could make out.
“It is indeed. Your doctor will go over all the results with you, but so far this little one is doing an excellent job of showing off,” the ultrasound tech said, one arm holding the wand on Zoe’s belly, one hand on the keyboard, and eyes never leaving the screen.
The woman was as much an octopus as Zoe often felt at work when there were more orders than her two arms could manage at once and she was alone in the kitchen.
“Sounds about right,” Zoe said with a shock of a giggle. Neither of its parents lacked in the swagger area.
A soft knock wrapped lightly at the door.
The ultrasound tech looked over at Zoe and asked, “That him?”
“Ryder? Is that you?” Zoe called out, her back to the door.
The door eased open, and she heard a voice behind her. “Zoe?”
“Come on in,” she answered over her shoulder.
The curtain behind her shifted, and Ryder cautiously entered the small, darkened room. “Hi,” he said as he nodded to the tech and looked for a place to sit.
“Welcome. I heard you hit some traffic on the way here,” the tech answered, and nodded toward the chair next to the bed.
Zoe angled her head awkwardly to see him without moving the “perfect” position that the tech had her in.
“Yeah. I forgot about Labor Day traffic,” he said, and scooted the chair up to settle behind Zoe. He rubbed her shoulder and whispered in the dark room, “After rescheduling this enough, I feel awful that I almost missed it because of traffic. I am so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” Zoe said, chuckling and her belly jiggled and she quickly stilled again as the tech started to readjust the wand. “The first reschedule was my fault. We have been so short staffed. I’ll be glad when we hire a part-timer to cover.”
Ryder squeezed her shoulder and rested his head on his hand, leaning on her companionably, a nice chinrest for a sleep deprived individual.
Zoe laughed and smiled up at him. “Sleepy?”
He nodded, his chin never leaving his hands on her shoulder. “I tried to get as much done as I could this morning and last night so I wouldn’t have to work at all this weekend.”
“Good job. Now you can sleep as your reward.”
He huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes.
Zoe focused back on the screen. Fuzzy and moving, but big holes for eyes and smaller ones for the nose came into view. “Cute little alien.”
The sonographer clicked the button again and another picture printed for their baby book. Was that a thing she should be buying? It felt a bit premature.
“Looks like my mother already,” Ryder said, and hiccupped at his own joke.
Zoe snorted a laugh and stilled her belly. “Your mother is actually stunning. The big eyes are my mother’s.”
Warm against her side, Ryder grinned and said, “Your mom was gorgeous. Maybe you had a crush on me, but I always had a thing for your mom.”
“What? No.”
“Everyone did. I hate the term milf, but…”
“No,” Zoe said with a little jump, and quickly steadied, but turned subtly so she could see him better. “Seriously?”
With gravity and adoring lightness, he nodded and studied Zoe curiously.
The sonographer looked over at Ryder and asked, “How long have you two been together?”
Zoe answered, “We’re not together—”
At the same time, he answered, “Twenty weeks and five days.”
She grinned up at him and snorted a laugh.
He snickered a teasing grin and corrected, “Oh, you mean like a couple. No, we’re not together. Just accidental reproducing buddies.”
“Oh, that’s my favorite so far,” Zoe said brightly.
“She just broke up with someone—again—who isn’t me,” he said, flashing her a wink.
Bright blue eyes shined even brighter as they caught the glow from the ultrasound screen.
Focus entirely on her and not on the screen, the sonographer, he smiled so damn sweetly, she melted on impact. “I live in Phoenix.”
“Stop telling everyone how weird we are.”
“But we are weird.” He slowly sat up and leaned back in his chair, but kept one hand on her, the warmth of it radiating over her skin until she was toasty all over.
Yup. Platonic was safer.
The sonographer eyed each of them one at a time, her lips curling up into an amused, awkward sort of smile-smirk, and her attention drifted back toward the screen. “So,” she said, clearing the air poorly with the two-letter word. “Do you to already know the baby’s sex?”
“We have the prenatal screening report, but we weren’t sure that we wanted to find out yet,” he answered. Leaning to Zoe, he whispered, “Do you want to know?”
Biting her lips together, she nodded. “I know you wanted to wait, and… ugh, I… yes. I really want to know. Not that I’m buying pink frilly or excessively blue ‘I have a penis’ attire, but, ya know. You know?”
He laughed and nodded and squeezed her arm gently. “You flip to the last page of a book before reading it, don’t you?”
“Always. Why go through all that commitment and get betrayed in the end?”
“Fair point,” he said, scrunching his nose in a grin that mirrored hers. “Let’s do it.”
The tech smiled fully this time, and focused on her wand, shifting the gooey mess along Zoe’s belly until she found her mark. “Alright, let’s see if this little one will give us a good view. Hmmm. Can you roll to your other side for me?”
As instructed, Zoe turned to her other side, facing Ryder, and craned her neck to see the screen. Her chest vibrated and she giggled, “See if the peanut flashes us its junk.”
Ryder grinned so wide he bit the edge of his tongue and shook his head at Zoe.
“Are you hoping for a boy or girl?”
Both shook their heads. Ryder answered, “No preference.”
As the wand shifted and slowed, Zoe held her breath, her pulse vibrating under her skin. Why was she suddenly nervous?
“Looks like a little girl.”
Heat welled in his eyes and she looked up at Ryder. Still smiling, but Zoe’s expression grew distant, a tear beading at the corner of her eye, enlarging until it trailed down her cheek.
Tracing his thumb over her cheekbone, he wiped it away and she looked at him, her lips bit tight together.
Without a word, the sonographer removed the wand, wiped the equipment, and cleaned off Zoe’s belly of the lingering goop. She stood and said softly, “That’s all I need. I’ll give you two a minute. Zoe, you can go ahead and get dressed. Here’s another towel so you can get whatever I missed.”
In the dim light of the room, Zoe used the towel to wipe her belly and tugged up her extra stretchy leggings. She scooted up to sit and dropped her legs over the side to face him. Another tear streamed down her face, and she wiped it off, and wiped her eyes before another one fell out.
Ryder shifted his chair closer and framed her legs between his. “Hey, hey. You okay?” he asked, cradling her cheeks and gently brushing his thumb over her damp skin.
She nodded, lips bit tight together.
“No you’re not. Talk to me, Zoe. What’s up?”
Swallowing, she smiled a wet smile, “I am going to mess this up.”
“What? No. What makes you say that? So far, I think we’re doing a pretty decent job.”
“Apparently, my mom sobbed and sobbed when she found out she was having a girl—me. She dressed me in pink dresses and bought me so many dolls, and… don’t get me wrong, she was the first one to tell me how ‘cool’ I looked in my superhero costume, in my ripped-up pants and oversized t-shirts.
Still, I… I always felt like she was disappointed that I didn’t get into princesses and fairies like she’d imagined. If…”
Ryder listened quietly, rubbing his thumbs over her knees, steady and focused entirely on her.
“She was supposed to be here with me,” she garbled, her cheeks soaking in an instant.
Touching his forehead to hers, he brushed his thumb over her jawline. “I’m so sorry. I should have thought of that.”
“It’s okay,” she shook her head.
“No, it’s not. I was caught up, and I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to call, but I should have made you a priority.”
“Hey. You’re here for the peanut.”
“And you. Maybe we’re not a couple, but we’re partners in this.”
She nodded and sniffled and used the dry part of the gooey towel to wipe her face.
“Evan was telling me how you guys would have family football scrimmages, and how you and your mom loved to be the defensive tackles rather than go for the offensive glory.”
She chuckled, “Even decked out in pink florals, my mom could sack a quarterback like nobody’s business. Pops could attest to that better than anyone.”
Ryder splayed his hand over her tiny swollen belly and smiled. “This little one is going to be whatever she wants to be. Doilies or dirt stains. Or both.”
“No wonder you’re so good at your job,” she said, laughing and confused and she dropped her hands to her sides and checked that her phone was in the long pocket of her leggings and wallet in the other.
They walked down the narrow hallway, wound past a few offices, and out the back exit. The late summer sun instantly baked into her skin and warmed what pieces of her were still chilled from the ultrasound room.
She glanced back to see Ryder wasn’t smiling anymore. “Are you okay?”
He quickly nodded. “Terrified, of course,” he said quickly, and laughed it off. His phone buzzed in his pocket.
“I don’t mind.” Not knowing how long the call would be, she waited on the sidewalk with him and quietly listened.
Clearly one of his team calling, as he quickly adopted a casual but upbeat tone.
“What was that? Sorry, it’s windy.”
Zoe stood close enough to overhear the highlights. The other party droned on and on about the client’s pickiness over colors and centering their logo.