13. Romaine
Romaine
R yder held Zoe’s hand loosely in his as they walked along the river’s edge. The leaves were long gone, the winter chill pervasive, but the sun was brilliant and the wind tame. “Perfect afternoon,” he said.
Inhaling the crisp air, she closed her eyes and nodded. “My favorite kind. Not too hot, not too cold, a steady glow of sunshine.” She squeezed his hand and added, “And good company.”
He pulled her close and embedded his hand in her hair. Fluidly, as easily as that first night, she melted into him and sent him spinning as their lips met. Lingering, tasting, he savored her familiar taste, the heat stirring deeper every time.
Biting his lip to contain his irrepressible grin as he pulled away, he asked, “How did you manage to get the day off?”
“You know the part timer we hired?”
“Yeah, she’s working out okay then?”
“Better than okay. She’s taking over my shifts, and I’m just there as backup for the next few months, and Evan’s available to jump in if we get really desperate, once I’m officially on maternity leave.”
“Good for you. Mick is already up on doing orders and the back end of things?”
“He’s amazing. I mean, this isn’t new for him. I’m doing my utmost to stay out of it, while he learns how to run everything without me. Our plans to add catering were put off for a while, so he’s glad to stay busy.”
“What are you going to do with all this free time on your hands?”
“Maybe take my boyfriend out on the occasional date.” She winked with a gleam in her melted chocolate gaze, sending an arrow straight into his chest.
Walking hand in hand further along the riverside trail, they stayed quiet for a while. Would it always be so easy with Zoe? No pressure, no demands. A plane rumbled overhead, the river babbled around them, but the park was quiet today.
“What did you come up with for the winery?” she asked, swinging her hand with his.
“I’m not sure yet. Either highlight their old-world charm, as they’ve got this incredible main building that looks like it belongs overlooking the Mediterranean, or hype their environmentalism.
They’re moving toward a fully organic vineyard and improving sustainability, while keeping with their family traditions.
” Maybe in a year or two, when the baby was big enough for them to take a weekend away, he’d see if Zoe wanted to stay at the bed-and-breakfast onsite.
“Oh, tough one. Can’t you do both? Highlight how they’re merging tradition with sustainability?
I know Halseth’s customers would love that.
” Her voice perked as she talked, “Actually, that’s brilliant.
Grady and Zane have started writing up clever descriptors for the menu, as we’re carrying almost entirely Black Op now, which has been a huge hit.
They’re making witty coasters, too. We could do something similar with the wine list.”
He smacked a kiss on her cheek and they continued on their walk.
“You’re a genius. I can picture how we’re going to grow their image now.
And I’ll see about adding some witty turns of phrases for the new labels.
” Smile still plastered on his face, he asked, “House. We’re getting down to the wire. Have you made a decision?”
Zoe’s smile fell and she gnawed on her cheek before pasting on a phony grin. “Um…”
“Don’t worry about it. We can stay with Grady or Finn if we still haven’t settled on a place when your lease is up, or even renew the lease for just you and me and the peanut. I mean, if you don’t want to even think about it—” Ryder bit his tongue. Blew it. Big time.
Shaking her head, Zoe gripped his hand tighter and pulled him to face her.
“I love that you want to be sure this little peanut has… plenty of space. But I’ve been thinking…
maybe you could buy a place in town, then there wouldn’t be the pressure of it being our place.
I mean, we’ve been doing great, but are we still going to be doing great when the peanut comes along?
That’s going to be a big strain on us. Relationships fail because of new babies all the time.
” Her smile was strained, her cheek jammed so tight in her teeth, he wished to hell he could dig his way out of this one.
“No, no, you’re right. That’s probably a bigger step than either of us is ready for.”
“You live and work in Phoenix. Won’t it feel weird to have two homes? One with your girlfriend and your baby, the other your, I don’t know, bachelor pad?”
“I’m hardly home anyway—” Not helpful. He quickly corrected course. “I’ll keep the Phoenix place to crash when I need to be at the office, but I travel so much these days, Foothills can be my homebase. Just don’t tell Gene.”
Flatly, Zoe said, “You hate Foothills.”
“When did I say that?”
Zoe dropped to a log bench and dug her hands in her hair. “Everyone knows. I know a big part of why you broke up with Claire was that you didn’t want to live here.”
Ryder picked up a rock and chucked it across the river. Dropping his hands to his hips, he glared across the river, his cheeks pulled tight. How the hell could he explain to her what he didn’t understand himself? “That was different.”
“Your job is your life, and your job is in Phoenix. How can you go about this so… calmly? Like we’re moving toward home and family and picture perfect really fast, when there are still so many hurdles.
I’ve lived with boyfriends, but this is different.
I don’t want to make a mistake, because it’s not just about you and me. ”
Rubbing his fingertips over his temples, he closed his eyes and reset before turning toward her.
“Do you know why I’m so good at what I do?
” He stopped and laughed mirthlessly under his breath.
“Ever hear the term fake it til you make it? Sometimes, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
But if my client gets the idea I’m floundering? Somebody else gets the contract.”
“Great,” she muttered. “I should have realized.” She rose to her feet and flipped her hair out of her face.
“Zoe. Wait—”
“No,” she fired back. “You’ve said enough.
Ryder Mallory is perfection embodied. The handsome, successful executive.
Anyone else would be tripped up by something so inconvenient as a knocked-up one-nighter, but that’s not Ryder Mallory.
Ryder Mallory will sweep her off her feet and make her feel adored, learn everything there is to know about babies and childrearing, move his family into a fancy house in the adorable hometown while he excels at his job, making hand over fist and making it look easy.
All to keep up his image. Because he can do anything. ”
Feet digging into the gravel, Ryder shoved his hands in his pockets. “Is that really what you think of me?”
The wind rustled through the branches around them, then whipped past her as if she’d cast it herself. “What else am I to think? You always look like this whole thing is a breeze. No big deal. Could you even cope with failure?”
“Acting confident doesn’t mean I think this is easy. Would you prefer I raise my fists in the air and demand why me ? Would that make you feel better?”
“If it’s honest? Yes, I would prefer that.”
“That’s not me,” he walked back toward the car, pausing as he passed. “Let’s head back,” he murmured.
His head throbbed. From the fight. From not having a fucking clue how to make this right. He’d stepped up. And he’d loved every second of it, with her, getting ready for the most terrifying surprise.
But maybe he’d been wrong.
She’d said it, and she wasn’t wrong.
This was bigger than them.
She was rigid when she clicked the passenger door shut. He glanced toward her and saw a glassy layer forming over her eyes.
Fuck.
They drove up the hill and into town, but she didn’t say a word.
“Zoe?” he whispered.
Lips pinched tight, she shrugged.
“I’m not making excuses, I’m not backpedaling, but you’re right. I don’t share when I’m struggling, because… fuck, you know. My mother, my boss… that fucking image of success and confidence was ingrained into me from the start, and I’ve never been allowed to do anything but win.”
She didn’t say a word, but kept still.
“I don’t have the first idea how to handle this. I will not let my child grow up in a household like mine.” Rural driveways quickly turned into the heart of town as they crested the hill. “Why do you think I stay up late reading everything I can about pregnancy and babies?”
Voice full of acid, she whispered, “And relationships? How to make your pregnant one-nighter feel like she’s all you want? I need air.”
He turned down the narrow road behind the new construction and shoved the car into park next to Black Op.
She flung open the door and stood on the sidewalk, hands in her hair and she seemed unsure where to go.
Ryder stopped next to her and leaned against the fence bordering Black Op, ignoring the crowd laughing over shared beers on the patio. He willed her to even glance in his direction so she would see him crumbling. His chest ached, wishing he knew how to say it so she’d believe him.
She glanced his direction, and he hoped to hell she was curious enough to listen.
Quietly, he said, “Before you, every day was the same.”
Hands on her hips, she faltered, her expression slacking.