Chapter 14 #3
“That is my current goal,” Sergio says, his eyes on Jeremy and wishing he could see what their tomorrow could look like if he could get everything he needs to get right to see it.
“Good on you, mate. I never thought of you as someone who made New Year’s resolutions.” He claps Sergio on the shoulder and continues to push them along towards the lodge. “I hope you’re hungry. This place has a great turkey burger.”
After lunch, exhausted and only halfway through this version of today, Sergio lets out a sigh in the car beside Jeremy as Jeremy pulls away from the lodge.
“What was all that about with Holden earlier?” Jeremy asks him.
Sergio takes a deep breath and lets out another sigh. He stares at the tall, snow-covered aspen trees as they speed past them. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Try me,” Jeremy says.
He takes his eyes off the trees and turns to look at Jeremy’s profile.
There’s a soft smile on his face, and Jeremy chances a quick glance back at him.
When they make eye contact, Sergio recognizes sympathy in his eyes, as if he’s the only one who sees the weight pressing down on Sergio’s shoulders.
The result has Sergio feeling like he can trust him despite how vulnerable he is feeling right now in his exhaustion.
“You really want to know?”
“Only if you want to tell me. But you seemed pretty frustrated back there.”
Sergio takes another deep breath, and with it comes a flood of deep exhaustion.
If he were in the car with anyone else, he’d open the passenger door and fling himself out of it in order to start this day over faster.
But it’s Jeremy here with him, and Sergio wants to savor every minute he can get with him.
Even if Jeremy will never remember all that he’s done for Sergio over all of these days.
“Frustration doesn’t even cover it.”
“So what’s the problem, then? Maybe I can help.”
Sergio rubs his face with his palms some more. If he keeps this up today, he’ll have nothing left to rub at until tomorrow. “Fuck. I don’t even know how to explain this without sounding crazy.”
Jeremy looks over his shoulder and flashes him a quick smile before taking his attention back to the road. “I have an open mind. Take your best shot. Surprise me.”
“Well, if you insist,” Sergio says, then takes another deep breath before diving into his saga. “So here’s the thing. And like I said, you’re going to think that I’m crazy, but I swear to you I’m not.”
“Sounds like something a crazy person would say,” Jeremy jokes, but it’s lighthearted.
“Fair enough. And honestly, maybe I am. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.”
“So what is it?”
“So you know that movie Groundhog Day?”
“Yeah, of course. Bill Murray has to keep living the same day over and over again until he fundamentally changes as a person. Going from a completely self-centered asshole to someone capable of love, selflessness, and thinking of others’ needs. It’s great! I love that movie.”
“And what if I told you that I’m living that movie?”
“I’d tell you that you’re crazy.” Jeremy laughs. “It’s only a movie. It’s not possible.”
“But what if it is possible?”
Jeremy’s lips twist in thought as he turns into the Harings’ driveway. He hits the button to open the garage door. “I guess I would need some sort of proof before I could believe you.”
“What would be proof?”
“I don’t know. Predict something,” he says, shutting off the car and opening the driver’s side door to get out.
“Hmmm …” Sergio thinks as he gets out of the passenger seat and moves to Henry’s door behind him to unbuckle him from his seat and pull him out of the car.
Once he has Henry held in his arms, he says to Jeremy, “We’ve done this before.
Several times in fact. We’re gonna walk down to the barn, and when we get there, you’re going to ask me if I’d like to come up. ”
“This sounds like less of a prediction and more like you trying to use ‘The Force’ on me, getting me to tell you these are not the droids you are looking for. Not gonna lie, that’s not helping your case on not being crazy.” Jeremy uses the keypad to close the garage door behind them.
“I haven’t gotten to the prediction.”
Jeremy gestures his hands forward. “Okay. Go on.”
Sergio begins to lead the way to the barn. “You’ll ask me if I want to come up, and I will, of course, say yes. Because that’s all I ever want to do on all of these days.”
“I hope you know, no matter how hard you try to convince me, I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“Yes. I’m well aware.” Sergio laughs.
“Okay, as long as we’re clear.”
“Crystal,” Sergio says with playful exaggeration, even though he finds Jeremy to be nothing but endearing right now.
Especially considering this conversation is going better with him than it ever does with Holden.
“As I said, you’ll ask me to come up, and then once upstairs after you’ve laid Henry down in your bed to continue his nap, you’ll offer me tea. ”
“That does sound like something I would do,” Jeremy says, tugging his left eye as they approach the barn door. “But I’m still not convinced.”
“Well, what about the fact that I know the tea you’ll offer me is ginger lemon.”
“I have to admit, that is quite the trick. There is no reason you should know what my afternoon beverage is.” He swings the door open and walks inside. Stopping, he turns to look at Sergio. “Aren’t you coming?”
“God, yes,” Sergio says and rushes in after him. The barn door shuts with a click, and they make their way up the stairs to Jeremy’s little living space.
“Since you’ve apparently already been up here,” Jeremy says, shrugging off his coat and hanging it on a coat hook beside the door. “Why don’t you lay Henry down on my bed for me while I fix us some tea?”
“Are you sure?” Sergio asks. He’s been in Jeremy’s room before, but always with Jeremy and never alone.
It’s a small gesture, but it feels good to know he hasn’t lost Jeremy’s trust with his bizarre woes about a repeating day.
Most people would keep someone ranting about being stuck in a time loop as far away from where they change their underwear as possible.
As if he’s read Sergio’s thoughts, Jeremy gives a half-smile.
“Why not? If what you’re saying is true, anything untoward you dare to do in there won’t matter, as it will be erased by tomorrow.
And if you’re lying …” He pauses and looks Sergio up and down, then looks him in the eyes again as he says, “I don’t think you’re stupid enough to do something else that will make what you’ve already done worse. ”
“Making things worse is the last thing I want to do.”
“Good.” Jeremy smiles at him, then turns to head into his kitchenette. With his back to Sergio, he says, “And for the record, I don’t think you meant to ruin things last night either.”
A lump forms in Sergio’s throat that he attempts to swallow down.
For the first time since this all started, he’s feeling like maybe—to Jeremy at least—he’s not as big of an asshole as everyone else makes him out to be.
The thought warms his heart, and he hugs Henry’s sleeping body closer to his chest as he carries him into Jeremy’s bedroom before he takes Henry’s coat off and places him in the center of the bed.
After pulling a blanket over Henry, Sergio walks back out to the apartment’s living room and hangs his own coat on the hook by the door. From there, he takes a seat on the small sofa and watches Jeremy pour two cups of tea and walk to him.
“Ginger lemon, as predicted,” Jeremy says as he hands a steaming mug to Sergio before he takes a seat on the other side of the sofa.
“Thank you,” Sergio says, feeling a calm wash over him with the warm mug held between his palms. The now familiar scent of lemon and ginger will forever be associated with quiet afternoons spent at Jeremy’s, even if Jeremy won’t feel the same.
“So …” Jeremy stares at him with curiosity. “This time loop you're in. Is it working?”
A surge of hope courses through Sergio. “Are you saying you believe me?”
“I’m saying you’ve piqued my interest.”
“I’ll take it.” Sergio smiles at him. “And yes. I do believe that it’s working.”
“How?” Jeremy takes a sip of his tea. “Explain it to me.”
Sergio relaxes deeper into the cushions of the sofa and breathes in a curl of steam wafting from his mug. “I think it’s making me become a better person.”
Jeremy mimics him and relaxes more deeply as well, bringing his feet up onto the sofa and resting his mug in his hands on his bent knees. “But you’re still stuck in the loop, so you’re obviously not getting it right.”
Sergio lifts one shoulder in a half shrug. “There’s a bit of a steep learning curve.”
“I bet.” Jeremy laughs. “What do you think triggered it?”
“Honestly,” Sergio says, feeling himself shrink. “You.”
“Me?” Jeremy points at himself. “Oh no. You do not get to blame me.”
“I … I’m … I’m not.” Sergio reaches across the sofa and grabs Jeremy’s hand. He lets out a breath between his lips when Jeremy doesn’t yank it away from him. “I think fate wants me to make things right with you.”
“Ooh, that’s a smooth line, Sergio Durand. A little too smooth,” he says, but still doesn’t remove his hand.
“It’s not a line,” Sergio says, softening his gaze. “There’s something about you that makes me want to be a better person.”
Jeremy releases his hand to tug on his left eye, then, to Sergio’s relief, immediately laces his fingers back together with Sergio’s. “You’re not a bad guy,” he says. “You just need to grow up.”
“And if I grew up, would you consider me?”
“You tell me. You’re the one who’s experienced this day before. What are the results?”
Sergio lets out a laugh with a weak nod of his head and an even weaker smile.
He looks away from Jeremy, taking his gaze to the shelves of plants and books surrounding Jeremy’s wall-mounted television.
“Well, let’s see. There’s a one-hundred percent chance Henry wakes me up with a kick in the balls each morning. ”