Chapter 32 Speed
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Speed
José took out his in-ear monitors and turned off the electronic metronome. “Was that too fast?”
“I don’t know,” Andrej replied.
“It was faster than usual. Also a bit faster than on the album.”
“I liked it. Live, it could benefit from a bit more energy. And Leaf tends to speed up during the solo, so he'll appreciate it.”
“Okay.” José saved the tempo. “Number seven?”
Andrej glanced at the list. “‘Gather the Souls.’”
“Okay …,” José muttered, writing down the title. As he put his in-ear monitors back in and turned on the metronome, there was a moment of silence.
“What?” Andrej asked.
“You start.”
“Oh, right … Leaf’s intro. Can you count me in?”
José tapped out the beat with his sticks, and Andrej began to sing. After the first verse, he stopped. “Wait, that’s too fast.”
“We always play it like this,” José responded.
“Yeah, and Tris complains every time it’s too fast. There’s no time to breathe. It sounds rushed.”
“It’s supposed to be like that.” José pulled out a sheet with the tempos. “We’ve slowed it down before. This is the same speed as on the recording. The solo would suffer otherwise. Leaf needs this tempo.”
“Oh … that’s this song. Okay.”
“Alright. Next?”
Andrej checked the setlist. “‘Have it all.’”
“Cool!” José wrote down the title. “You can have it all! Yeah!”
“Are you really going to stick with that? I mean, the tempos?” Andrej asked.
“Of course, we take it as it comes, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we get carried away by the energy.”
Andrej nodded, knowing he had the tendency to play faster too.
José started drumming, striking the toms and cymbals with full force while stomping the double bass.
Andrej got ready for what came next. José hit a break, and they seamlessly picked up the rhythm together.
After a fill, Andrej pressed the footswitch, transforming the previously soft bass sound into a monster of deep, distorted tones.
“Why didn’t you sing?” José asked as the song ended.
Laughing, Andrej shook his head. “I can’t sing that. Whatever those two were on when they wrote the song, it worked.”
“Yeah. Big time! What’s next?”
“‘Infected.’”
José wrote down the title and turned back to the metronome.
“Come on!” Andrej sighed, looking pained. “Don’t you question this list at all? Do you even have an opinion on it?”
“I think I just got it.”
“What? Have you been smoking weed? The list was fine before. Now it’s just a mess.”
José put down the pen and paper on the floor. “I don’t know. I think it makes sense. It’s not illogical.”
Andrej reached for his vibrating phone out of his back pocket and answered it. Meanwhile, José grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and examined the list on the floor.
“Iggy’s coming over,” Andrej said, setting his phone on the coffee table.
“Oh yeah? Why?” It wasn’t unusual for Iggy to come to their rehearsal space. Since he got his own car back last night, he’d be enjoying his newfound freedom even more. Still, José sensed there was more to his visit, especially if Andrej was announcing it.
“Dude, we need his help. How else are we gonna get the equipment to Whisky? Our roadies aren’t officially on board until Tuesday.”
José narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “It’s not just about the transport, is it? We’ve handled that before.”
“Consider him a backup,” Andrej stated seriously as he stepped up to the microphone.
“Leaf is the guitarist.”
“Leaf is a total mess.”
José didn’t say anything.
“I talked to Carol,” Andrej continued. “She thinks we should have a backup too.”
“We’re prepared for everything,” José snapped. “You’re just scared! And as long as things don’t really get out of hand, there’s nothing Carol can do.”
“Not really out of hand?” Andrej repeated, widening his eyes. “Have you taken a good look at our guitarist? We’re going on tour, man! We’re running out of time!”
“You can’t kick him out. He brought you into the band.”
“You brought me into the band,” Andrej countered dryly.
“He and Tristan write the songs. Tristan needs him. He can’t go on tour without him. Not now. How do you think that’s going to work? It would be like the Rolling Stones without Keith Richards.”
Andrej smiled. “Oh, come on. Your brother’s good. He can handle it.”
“You don’t have the right.”
“José, I find it touching how you stand up for Leaf. But he’s on the path of self-destruction. No, scratch that. He’s already destroyed.”
“Leaf can handle it. He’s tough and has always managed to get back on his feet.”
Andrej flung his hands in frustration. “Come on! How blind can you be? This isn’t like the end of the last tour when he was coked out every night. This time it’s different! On Thursday, in the rehearsal room … he was completely off. If that doesn’t worry you, then …”
“It’s not Leaf I’m worried about!” José shouted, balling his fists. “It’s Tristan!”
“He can handle it,” Andrej replied nonchalantly.
“Tris can’t handle it,” José countered.
“At least he doesn't have a drug problem that could screw us over,” Andrej sneered. “We all know this is just a phase. Grief fades. But addiction? That’s a whole other beast. I don’t know, maybe hypnosis could help?”
José paused. The suggestion didn’t sound bad to him. He sighed, sank onto the couch, and sipped his water.
“Who put you in charge of looking after everyone?” Andrej asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
José raised his eyebrows in surprise.
“I mean, come on,” Andrej said casually. “You can’t split yourself in three. The solution you’re looking for might not be out there.”
“Cono, please, don’t start with that again.”
“What are you holding on to?”
“If you can’t see it, I wonder what you’re doing here.”
“Sure, I get it. But just because you guys grew up together doesn’t make what Leaf is doing okay.”
“I know it’s not okay, but you should know him well enough by now to know what he’s capable of. Just stop.”
“It’s not about his solos,” Andrej groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose.
José leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. “God, I’m tired. And the tour hasn’t even started yet. How are we going to pull this off?”
“We won’t,” Andrej said irritably.
José shook his head, feeling lost. They were going in circles, and that was reason enough to light up a cigarette. He had wanted to save it for the evening, but right now, it was stress relief. He lit it and exhaled loudly, resting his head back against the sofa.
For a while, there was silence, and José noticed how the deep breathing calmed him. He quickly remembered that the effect would be even greater without the cigarette—something he had learned from the app he was using.
“Did his father really beat him?” Andrej asked.
Surprised, José looked up at him. “Yes,” he answered after a moment of reflection. “And much more.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“You never asked.”
“When did he first start using drugs?”
“At fifteen,” José replied, taking a drag and exhaling the smoke.
“We had the rehearsal room in my parents’ garage.
One day when we were seventeen, he showed up totally high.
I hadn’t seen him for a week before that; the bandaged hand explained why.
He took the guitar and played like nothing had happened.
Maybe a bit slower than usual, but … good. ”
“Why are you telling me this?”
A nostalgic smile spread across José’s face. “He’s tough. He’s shown plenty of times that he can handle life.”
“For God’s sake, Martinez. Are you kidding me? He’s got you wrapped around his finger. Ever heard of codependency?”
“That’s nonsense,” José disagreed, taking another drag. “I’m not codependent, and it has nothing to do with hope. I simply have trust. If you knew Leaf like I do, you’d understand what I mean.”
“You act like everything Leaf does is normal. But it’s not.”
“Maybe he’s a better person when he’s on drugs.” José had only thought it, but somehow the words came out loud.
Andrej burst out laughing. “Bullshit! You can’t be serious?”
José grunted and continued smoking.
“I’m just surprised how much you like the guy,” Andrej said after calming down. “What does he have that I don’t?”
José didn’t have to think long. “Loyalty. He would never just kick someone out of the band. So, back off. Got it?”
“I don’t want to spend the whole tour worrying about whether he’ll even show up. What’s wrong with you? We start tomorrow!”
“Yay!” Iggy suddenly shouted, letting the door slam behind him.
“Tomorrow it starts! Are you guys as excited as I am?” He strolled over to the corner of the couch in high spirits and set down his heavy backpack.
“I thought I'd make myself known, considering how engrossed you were in your conversation.”
“How long have you been standing there?” Andrej asked, taken aback.
“Long enough. Is it about Leaf?” Iggy plopped down next to José on the couch. “Man, today was absolute torture. The professors are making things hard for us. It’s like we have nothing else to do.”
José studied his little brother intently. Instead of trying to read him, he asked directly, “What else do you have to do? Did Andrej ask you to practice our songs so you can replace Leaf?”
“Pfff … As if anyone could replace Leaf.” Iggy laughed, amused.
Andrej rolled his eyes. “What we need is a reliable guitarist.”
“I am reliable,” Iggy murmured and tied back his shoulder-length black hair.
“That’s what I said.”
“But I’m not Leaf.”
José suppressed a grin. Iggy had always looked up to Leaf. Leaf was his hero, his role model. It was no surprise that Iggy’s guitar playing was heavily influenced by Leaf’s. If anyone could replace Leaf, it was Iggy.
“No one is asking you to be Leaf,” Andrej reassured him.
“Did you kick him out?” Iggy asked bluntly.
“No!” José snapped.
“It’s just a precaution,” Andrej explained. “But it wouldn’t hurt if you started practicing the solos.”
“Ig, don’t listen to him.” José put out his cigarette. “It won’t come this far, so we can stop discussing it. There are contracts. You don’t have the power to kick Leaf out. And neither does Carol. As long as he’s not causing problems, he stays.”
“Of course. Only if he screws up, he’s out,” Andrej replied, almost too conciliatory. “If you want to put your hand in the fire for him, fine. But when it comes down to it, we need to be ready to make tough decisions.”
José shook his head in disbelief. “Face it, Andrej. You’ll destroy the band if you kick him out like this. You can’t just hit him with a done deal. He deserves a chance.”
“Done deal? He presented us with a done deal! He’s the one endangering the band’s future,” Andrej said irritably. “Milo dies, and he gets high! Do you even know where your buddy is right now, José? Not here! And honestly, I seriously doubt he’ll show up at the Whisky tomorrow.”
These were words José dreaded hearing because they brought out fears he couldn’t afford while trying to keep the band on track. He let out an exhausted sigh.
“I’ll talk to him. He’ll pull himself together, just like he always has.”