21. Jack
21
JACK
THE COUNCIL OF GIRLFRIENDS
I glanced at the bedside clock to check the time, then rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling fan.
The space beside me was cold. The pillow next to mine still had a divot from her head.
And fuck . . . I missed her already.
Aurora had snuck out as soon as dawn broke. At first, I thought she was getting up to go to the bathroom and would come back. We’d have a lazy morning in bed, I’d make her breakfast, and we’d head over to her place to get a little work done on my day off.
But she left.
The slam of the front door might as well have been a slap in the face.
I choked down the bile that pooled in my throat and rolled to my side. Whatever .
My ire immediately dissipated when I caught a whiff of her on her pillow. I huffed and stacked it on top of my pillow. Maybe it was the small hit I needed to start detoxing from her.
I curled my arm around it and?—
What was that?
I reached under the pillow and found Aurora’s phone. It was blowing up with message after message. Since it was locked, I couldn’t see what the texts said, just the bubble notifications. It could have been her mom. Maybe something was wrong.
Fuck it.
I tossed the covers back, pulled on a pair of shorts, and padded to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
I tried not to breathe while I was in there. Even the air was laced with her.
I didn’t bother with a shirt before I slipped out the door with her phone in my hand. It had stopped buzzing every millisecond, but the screen was still littered with messages.
There was a strange dent in the hedge that was somewhat author-shaped.
Damn. Had she really been so desperate to get out of my bed that she ate sand in the mad dash next door?
I thought we had a great night.
It had been . . .
I mean, I thought it was . . .
Goddammit . I had fucked Aurora , but she had fucked me up.
I trudged up the stairs with a burning pit of anxiety in my gut. The flawless sunshine was an insult.
Breakfast in bed. Work on the house. Cut out early and go down to the beach together. It would have been perfect, but she had to storm off and be fucking stubborn.
I could hear Aurora shouting about something when I came to the door. The moment I knocked, everything fell silent.
Then, whispers.
I knocked again. “ I know you’re in there, Roar . I can hear you.”
The whispering quieted, but also grew more frantic.
I huffed. “ You left your phone. If you’re not going to open the door, I’ll just leave it out here.”
A pixelated voice shouted, “ The Council of Girlfriends out-votes you! Open the fucking door!”
I didn’t know who “the council” was, but I liked the council.
Unlike the computer voice that was distorted thanks to the stolen WiFi connection, Aurora’s profane grumbling was crystal clear as she stomped across the living room and yanked the door open.
“That’s not the face of someone who was begging for more,” I said as I leaned on the doorframe.
Her sharp features immediately softened, and she stared at the wood slats under her feet. “ Thanks for bringing my phone over. I didn’t mean to leave it.”
I held up the screen so she could see the obnoxious amount of messages. “ I believe the Counsel of Girlfriends has been trying to get in touch with you about your car’s extended warranty.”
“Oh my God ! And he’s funny ?” the computer voice shouted. “ That’s just unfair.”
At least someone thought I was worth a damn.
“Willow and Whitney ?” I guessed.
“Yes,” she groaned as she pinched her nose and snatched the phone out of my hand.
“Can we talk?” I asked.
The computer answered for me. “ Yes !” her friends shouted.
“We’re logging off! Byeeeeee !” one of them said.
Then, it was silent.
“I had to pee,” Aurora blurted out.
I lifted my eyebrows. “ I have a bathroom. Two of them, actually. You got to know one of them very, very well yesterday.”
She dug a hand into her hair. “ Why does it matter? We said nuance. We said no strings.”
“That wasn’t the entirety of what I said.”
“You agreed to the terms,” she countered. “ So what if I left?”
I let out a wry laugh. “ Because that’s a dick move, Roar . What did you think was going to happen? I was going to lock you inside and never let you go? Spoiler alert: Stockholm syndrome is only fun in your books.”
She scoffed. “ Like you’d know anything about what’s in my?—”
“Try me,” I said, daring her. “ What do you think I do when I have downtime at the station or I can’t sleep?”
Her throat constricted as she swallowed.
“I’ve read them all, Roar . But that’s beside the point. Why’d you leave?”
Her features tightened as she invoked that infuriating obstinacy. “ Because I knew you’d be sweet and I didn’t want that.”
I took a step inside and cupped her cheeks. “ Why would you want anything less?”
Aurora stiffened. “ Not less. It’s just . . . I don’t want to complicate things.”
“And you thought breakfast would complicate things?”
Her stomach growled, and she let out a muttered curse.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said, peeling away from my touch and turning to close her laptop.
“Okay,” I said, playing her game. If she wanted to pretend that things were the same as they had been before yesterday, then I’d go along with her delusions. “ Let’s go down to the beach and take a walk.”
“I have stuff to do here,” she said with her back to me.
“What do you want me to get started on?”
“ Jack ,” she growled.
“What?” I feigned innocence. “ You want things to go back to the way they were? Let’s do it. Point me to the list.” The moment she turned back toward me, I caught her around the waist and pinned her against the wall. “ But I think you’re struggling with 'no strings' more than I am.”
Her hands rested on my chest like we were magnetized. “ I know what’s at stake. Do you?”
“I know, Roar .” I rested my forehead on hers.
“I don’t think you do, Jack . Remember the first time we kissed and you wanted me to promise more? I can’t. I’m fully aware of that.”
“I wasn’t thinking that night. I just?—”
“You were feeling something that you’ve blocked out for a long time. Tell me. How many other women have you said that to?”
She had me dead to rights and she knew it.
I had never said that to another woman. I was the king of no strings. With Aurora , it had been different from the get-go.
Aurora’s eyes were full of kindness and sympathy. I hated that. “ This can’t happen again. Because I will inevitably hurt you. And because I do care about you, I don’t want that to happen.”
I wasn’t letting her off that easy. “ We can agree to disagree on that.”
“On what? Us having sex again, me hurting you, or me caring about you?”
“The first two,” I said as I brushed my thumb over her cheek. “ Because I know you care, Roar . I’ve known it from the beginning.” I had pushed her as far as I could without making her run for the hills, so I backed off and shoved my hands in my pockets. “ How’s the water heater today? Need me to take a look?”
Her eyes darted away. “ It’s fine.”
“Fine?” I caught her wrist. “ Or was it never broken?”
Aurora shrugged. “ I can’t explain it. It was ice water yesterday, but when I got over here this morning to wash my face, it was back to normal.” Her lips flirted with the inklings of a smile. “ I think my aunt is haunting this place.”
I cracked a grin as the tension eased. “ You think your aunt’s ghost is haunting the house and broke the water heater so you could get laid?”
Aurora clapped her hands over her ears. “ Ugh . Don’t say it like that. It’s just weird.”
* * *
“Hey, Roar ?” I called around the screws trapped between my teeth. I was arms-deep in replacing a light fixture that hung over the kitchen island and it was a bitch. I got the screws in place and tightened them, but Aurora still hadn’t answered.
“Aurora,” I hollered. Still nothing, so I went for broke. “ Wander !”
There was a muffled thump upstairs. I hopped off the chair I was using as a step-stool and jogged up the narrow staircase.
“Roar,” I said when I reached the landing.
Silence.
I poked my head into the first bedroom, then the second. Where was she?
I crossed by the widow’s watch and paused. Aurora was sitting on the ground, furiously typing on her laptop. I rested my shoulder against the wall and simply watched while she was unaware.
The afternoon sunshine hit just right, making her glow in the light. It made her eyes look like prisms, full of vibrancy and mystique.
“Oh my god.” Aurora yanked off her headphones and let out a startled breath. “ How long have you been standing there?”
“Just a minute,” I said, shoving my hands into my pockets. “ What happened to priming the upstairs bedroom for paint?”
She looked sheepish as she closed her laptop. “ I started. But then the characters started talking, so I sat down to write to get them to shut up.” She looked me up and down. “ Don’t give me that judgmental face. I wasn’t slacking. And what about you? What happened to you going back to your place to get a shirt?”
I shrugged. “ It would have come off anyway. It’s a thousand degrees in this house. Pretty sure it’s cooler outside.”
“Keeping the air conditioning on overdrive like you do at your house is an unnecessary expense for me. I live alone and sleep naked.” Aurora smirked. “ Aren’t you used to dealing with high temperatures while wearing a lot of heavy gear?”
“I get paid for that,” I said as I stepped out onto the little balcony. The breeze was a welcomed reprieve from the thought of her sleeping in absolutely nothing.
“Your volunteer hours are much appreciated here.”
“So, you’re still writing?” I asked as I leaned on the railing. “ The well of ideas hasn’t dried up yet?”
Coral blush painted her cheeks as she drummed her fingers on her computer. “ Not yet.” She chewed on her lip. “ Surprisingly , it’s actually coming to me pretty easily.”
“Do I get to know what you’re writing about?”
“No,” she snapped in defense. “ That is classified information.”
The corner of my mouth hooked in a lopsided grin. “ I can be very persuasive, sweetheart.”
The way she squeezed her legs together told me she knew exactly what I meant.
“You should put on a shirt,” she said.
“You should put on a swimsuit.”
Aurora arched an eyebrow. “ Excuse me?”
“Come on.” I tipped my head toward the ocean. “ The current is gentle today.”
She looked down at her laptop. “ But I could get in at least a few more pages before?—”
I stole her computer and tucked it under my arm. “ Come down to the beach with me. Give your brain a break.”
“The last time I tried to go to the beach, you yelled at me, threw me over your shoulder like a caveman, and tossed me back inside.”
“You won’t be drunk off your ass this time.”
“I was barely buzzed.”
“I carried your ass once. I’ll do it again.”
Five complaint-filled minutes later, Aurora ripped her bedroom door open and appeared in a bright red bikini.
This was a colossal mistake.
Heavy breasts were held up by twin triangles. The supple globes of her ass danced out of the scarlet fabric.
“Well? Are we going or what?” she said in a huff.
I clenched my fists to keep from touching her. “ Yep ,” I croaked. I really needed to run next door and double up on boxer briefs.
That dirty smile on her lips as she piled her hair on top of her head and tied it in a bun told me that she knew exactly what she was doing.
“Tell me something,” I said once we made it down the stairs and out to the dunes of soft sand.
“What’s that?” Aurora heaved as she trudged through it.
I took her hand to give her a little more support. To my surprise, she laced her fingers in mine.
“Are you happy?”
She glanced up at me, then immediately squinted at the blinding sun. “ What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “ I’m just curious. The day you moved in, you were . . . I don’t know. Haunted ?”
Aurora let out a soft snicker. “ I like that word.”
When we made it to the packed sand, I let go of her hand, but immediately laid mine on the small of her back. “ You seem lighter now.”
“It’s the stages of grief, I guess,” she said as she kicked at the waves that raced up the beach. “ I think I was fully in the anger stage when I got here.” She nudged me with her elbow. “ Sorry I took it out on you.”
“Where are you now?”
She sighed. “ Honestly ? I think I’m in acceptance. I think I’ll always be hurt over how everything went down. I just want it to hurt a little less over time, you know? Shit happens. But you have to leave it behind to move on. I have to stop thinking of myself as a ‘has-been’ and start thinking like an up-and-comer again. I’ll figure my life out. I’ll get a job. I’ll write just because I want to.” She let a reckless laugh slip. “ I don’t think my agent would even pick up the phone even if I wanted to call her. Which I don’t. We didn’t end on the best of terms.”
“So, get a new agent." I didn’t know how the hell Aurora’s world worked. It just seemed like the logical thing to do.
She just shook her head. “ Life knows when you need a break. And if you don’t take one, it’ll make you. Right now, I think I need to step back while I can. I don’t know if I can even finish a book or if I’d ever want to publish again. It broke me.”
I brought her down onto the sand with me and let the water wash up beneath us. “ Not that my two cents counts for anything?—”
“It does,” she said as she rested her head on my shoulder. “ I know we complicated things last night, but . . .”
Hope sparked like Fourth of July fireworks. “ But ?”
“But I do like you, Jack . I have the best friends a girl could ask for and you’re one of them.”
“Does this mean I get inducted into the Council of Girlfriends ?”
Aurora rolled her eyes. “ Absolutely not. Don’t be silly. You’re too cute to look that delusional.”
I laughed loud and long as a wave crashed just feet away, flooding us up to our waists. I tossed my arm around Aurora and held her tight to my side as the undertow began to wash out to sea.
“You’re not done.”
She snorted. “ Oh yeah? Are you psychic or something?”
“Nah,” I said as I loosened my grip, but didn’t let her go. “ I’ve just gotten to watch you. You’re not done. Not by a long shot, Wander . You’re not a question mark, curious and unsure. You’re not a comma, taking things slowly. You’re a period. A full stop. You don’t meander. You’re an exclamation point. Something explosive and dynamic. There’s nothing mediocre or pensive about you.”
Aurora just shook her head. “ You don’t know me that well.”
A salt-sprayed strand of hair had fallen out of her bun. I tucked it behind her ear and cupped her cheek. “ Then let me in and prove me wrong.”