5 - ANYSSA
5
ANYSSA
Two Months Later . . .
“Y ou can’t manipulate love.”
“Who says that I’m trying to?”
“This entire quest that you’re on says it all. Who knows, maybe you’re not destined for marriage.”
“Whoa! Cool your heels, Prophetess Wyndham. No one said anything about marriage, and how do you know what I am or aren’t destined for? I just said that I want to fall in love and be loved. Everyone deserves one shot at happiness. Belle Baie could be mine.”
“You’re starting your journey on a lie, Nys. It would be different if you were going as yourself, but whatever Romeo you happen to meet over there will think you’re someone you’re not. How can they possibly love you for you if they don’t know you?” Kayla groans.
I’d thought about that exact scenario a million times over, but I also believed that if I was destined for love and if it was meant to be between me and some great guy, then nothing could stop us.
“Look, I will eventually disclose my identity. If I’m falling for someone, there must be a trust factor there, don’t you think?”
“Preferably.”
“Right. And whoever he is, I should be able to trust him with my secret, allowing me to remain at the resort without him outing me.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Whaaat?” I whine.
“It’s just that I don’t think you’re starting off on the right foot. There’s the NDA you’ve had to sign and what if someone there recognizes you?”
“Girl, it’s not like I’m some celebrity or something. My YouTube channel has a decent following, but we’re talking about wealthy and über-rich people here. They don’t get that way by watching some travel girl’s YouTube channel. They’re off doing the things that I’m doing or better.”
“I guess you’re going to simply overlook that you’re also the Travel Channel’s Romance Abroad host? Or that you’ve written articles for Ebony, Coastal Living, Travel my spirits are dampened as I drive away and head out of the city and back to the suburbs. I’m feeling a way about my friend’s words, though there is some hint of truth to them.
While I’ve been gallivanting around the country and loving my life, I haven’t created any roots. Yes, I have an apartment, and yes, I have friends who happen to live all over the world. But my life isn’t exactly stable, and I haven’t been in a relationship in more than five years.
All because a guy I’d been dating for over a year broke my heart. I can’t even really say that I loved the guy. It seemed as if the moment I opened up and allowed him to get close, he showed me his true colors. I vowed not to be that accessible to anyone again.
Looking back, maybe that was where I went wrong. Instead of dusting myself off and trying again, as Aaliyah advised, I shut out the possibility of finding love and settled for what I considered the next best thing . . . scratching an itch.