19 - ANYSSA/CAMILA
19
ANYSSA/CAMILA
A fter my phone calls, I headed to the lobby and asked them to get a message to Mr. Rivas that a guest would be waiting for him tonight in Noir at BoDSMe. The young man I passed the message to smiled but kept his opinions to himself. The staff prides themselves on discretion, so I’m not worried that my secret will get out.
I eat dinner downstairs in the bar with Felice and a few other guests, trying to quell my nerves for the evening. We share stories about our travels, talk about affairs we’ve had in the past, and discuss our common interests. No one talks about their lives at home, and I guess I can understand that. After all, this place is an escape that lets you shed your problems and find sanctuary in pleasure. At least for a time, anyway.
When it’s almost time for me to head to BoDSMe, I wish everyone a good night.
“Hey, can I speak with you for a moment?” Felice asks, catching up with me as I approach the elevator.
“Sure. What’s up?” I ask, stepping away from the opening doors as people pour into the lobby to grab something to eat or head out.
“I’m not saying this from a place of jealousy or anything. I like you, Camila, and the easy friendship and camaraderie we’ve developed here.”
“So do I, Felice,” I say, smiling, although warning bells go off inside my head.
“I’ve noticed that Nazár has taken a special interest in you.”
“You’ve noticed?”
“Yes. He seldom comes around the hotel or mingles with guests. Every now and then, he does when a particular group of friends he’s known for a long time visit. But he’s usually more standoffish with people like you who have been referred, and he doesn’t know.”
“I didn’t realize that.”
“Yeah, he’s been different since you’ve been here. That could be a good thing.”
“Or . . .” I prompt uneasily, ready for her to get to her point.
“Or it could be a bad thing. For you. Not for him. Never for him.”
“Look, I don’t know that he’s taken a special interest in me. He’s nice, we have great conversation, and that’s about it.”
“That’s who he is. It always starts that way, but . . . Nazár likes a particularly kinky kind of sex. While I’m not saying you’re a prude, I remember your initial reaction to the nude beach when you arrived.”
“And I’ve gotten over that. What are you trying to say, Felice?” I ask, my impatience growing.
“Don’t get too wrapped up in him. Enjoy Nazár when you’re here, but just know he’ll be on to the next woman when you leave, whether it’s here or somewhere else. He’s not the settling type, Camila. You’re very sweet, and you’re young. I don’t want to see you get hurt chasing a fantasy.”
“Fantasy?” I laugh.
“Yeah. He’s nothing more than that.”
Smiling, I pat her shoulder and say, “Thanks for the warning.”
I head into the open elevators and turn to face her with a smile and a wave. She smiles too, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
I’m no fool. I know better than to fall for a man like Nazár. But calling him a fantasy? He’s more than that . . . Isn’t he?
What if she’s right?
I second-guess my decision to meet him while I shower, dress, and walk to BoDSMe.
“Welcome to BoDSMe,” Jennifer, a petite, dark-skinned woman with short, curly hair I haven’t met before, greets.
“Thank you.”
“May I see your key card, please?” she asks.
I wait as she checks my card against her system and says, “Noir is reserved for you. When you need to open the locked cabinets in the room, use this same key card.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“Enjoy your evening, Ms. Martinez.”
“Thank you, Jennifer,” I reply, walking to the rear of the building.
The wall to the left is mirrored, and I can’t help but glance and check out myself. My leather knee-length skirt fits me like a glove and laces in the back with a zipper from top to bottom.
The leather halter top exposes my back and stops underneath my breasts, baring my belly and the skirt hanging low on my hips. It’s sexy and provocative. My black, red-bottom pumps set the outfit off just right.
I wear no jewelry, and my pressed-out hair is combed away from my face. Mascara and red lipstick are the only concessions I make to makeup.
Nerves rattle in my belly, and Felice’s words haunt my thoughts. I inhale deeply and rest my hand on the doorknob. Pushing my anxieties aside, I don’t allow myself to focus on Felice’s words or the nervousness that Nazár often invokes in me.
I’m a cultured, experienced woman who has had many lovers. I’m comfortable in my body, confident about my sexuality and my boldness, and very astute in my perception of others. There is nothing that I have to be afraid of.
Still, I inhale deeply and hold it for a count of five before slowly releasing it. Repeating the cycle twice to curb my anxieties, I finally open the door. Disappointment floods me when I see no one inside.
I’d hoped he would beat me here because I was unsure what to do. I just know that I want to experience BDSM with him, and I want him to know that.
Yet, I don’t allow myself to dwell on the disappointment, but instead, allow my curiosity to swell in me and lead my actions. I’m here to learn, and regardless of whether Nazár is here, it doesn’t stop that.
I walk to the tall cabinet in the corner and slide the key card against the card reader. A soft snick lets me know the cabinet is unlocked, and I look through the supplies to see what may be useful. I lift a black paddle and smooth my hand across three silver, raised nubs on the back, wondering what it would feel like on my ass.
“Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?”
Startled, I jump, dropping the paddle to the floor and spinning around to face Nazár.
“You scared me.”
There should be a law against anyone looking as good as he does. He’s wearing a charcoal bespoke suit, a dove-grey tie, and leather lace-up shoes. His long, dark hair is combed back from his forehead, with one errant lock falling over.
He closes the door behind him and locks it before he stuffs his hands into his pockets, slowly walking in my direction. Nazár’s scent is beguiling, curling around my nostrils like a snake being charmed and dragging me close to him.
I don’t even realize that I take steps toward him, but I do until he says, “Stop.”
I don’t move another inch, though a foot of space lies between us.
“Why are you here, Princesa?”
“I told you I wanted to learn more about your world.”
“You can have me in your bed, darling, without entering my world.”
Boldly, I lift my head and say, “I want all of you. The good, the bad, and the dark.”
He runs a finger over my lips, leans close to my ear, and whispers, “Be careful what you wish for.”
A sharp pain runs through my earlobe and into my ear when he pulls back. Did he just bite me? I think he bit me.
My hand goes up to touch my earlobe, but he grabs it, tightening his hand around my wrist and jerking me forward to close the remaining space between us.
“What is it that you really want, Princesa?”
I’ve been thinking about this all night. I questioned my sanity dozens of times, but I know I’m not wrong.
“I want to feel, Nazár.”
“Feel what?”
“I want to feel alive. I want to feel what it means to be the sole object of someone’s affection and attention, almost to the point of obsession. I want to be controlled and guided, but I want to know what it means to submit to your demands. Nazár, I want to feel what you feel.”
“Why?”
“Maybe you can’t understand my answer, but I’ll tell you in the only way I know how. I’ve been drawn to you for some incomprehensible reason since I came to this island. The first night I saw you standing under the tree outside my room, I couldn’t see you completely, but I could see your outline and traces of your features. Do you find me attractive, Nazár?”
“Of course, but there are plenty of attractive women walking through here daily. What makes you worth more than a good fuck?”
“Perhaps you should be asking yourself that question. You’re stalking me around this resort just as much as I’m stalking you. We both know that our connection is strong. I know that you feel it. It runs deeper than our primal instincts, and I’m interested in exploring it.”
His finger traces the pulse point at the base of my neck, and he licks his lips, his eyes on me the entire time.
“I can make love to you and have your pussy dripping wet, a never-ending waterfall. Send you back home with memories of a great vacation,” he says, sliding a finger down my cleavage.
“Or . . . I can subdue you, take you to the brink of hell, and bring you back again. If you choose to walk down that dark path, there’s no going back until I say so. You’re under my command and my power. I’m the only one that you answer to. When I call, you come. Alternatively, when I speak . . . you come . . .” he slides a hand between my thighs and pinches my pussy lips hard.
“And you never . . . ever wear any panties. Your hair,” he says, tugging it so hard tears spring to my eyes, “I prefer it curly.”
“Is that all?” I ask smartly.
“And when you get smart with me, you will pay a high price. I have no compassion. My only desire is your pain and my pleasure, but you will learn to derive pleasure from pleasing me in those two areas. The most important thing for you to remember . . . There’s no walking away from me until I release you. These things are nonnegotiable. Is that understood?”
Am I a glutton for punishment, or what? Am I psychologically impacted so profoundly by the abusive relationship between my parents that I want to walk in their shoes? I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with me.
“You do realize that I leave in two weeks, Nazár?”
“You heard my terms. Pick your poison. Do you agree?”
“I agree.”
“When we are in public, you may call me Nazár, but when we are alone, you will call me Dominio.”
“Dominio,” I say softly, trying it out. It feels right, perfect on my lips, as though he were born into that name, and I was designed to be here at this moment, calling or screaming his name.
“Spanish for dominance.”
Nazár runs a hand down my bare shoulder and kisses it.
“You left a note for me that it was urgent for you to see me about a business matter. What was so urgent?”
“This. I wanted to see you tonight. To be with you,” I say softly.
He pauses with his lips on my shoulder before he cups my chin and jerks my head sideways to look into his eyes. There’s fire and anger there. A sneer comes over his lips, and I feel the anger radiating off him in waves.
He bites my shoulder, and tears smart my eyes.
“And you never need to lie to me. Is that understood?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“That’s not what I want to hear, Princesa. What do you call me?”
“Dominio?”
“Is that a question? Are you hard to teach, a difficult student? I have no time for games, Princesa.”
“I won’t play any games, Dominio, and I won’t lie to you.”
My stomach clenches as I think about the lie I’m already telling him.
“I will never do anything to jeopardize your safety. You should tell me if anything we do during our intimate moments becomes more than you can bear. You need to create a safe word.”
“A safe word?”
“Yes. A word that tells me that you’ve reached your limits. Then and only then will I back off.”
“Travel.”
“That’s your safe word?”
He sounds doubtful, but it’s the closest that I’ve come to being honest with him about who I am.
“Yes.”
“Camila, if I’m to have you the way I want you, I won’t continue sneaking you in and out of doors and meeting you in back alleys.”
“We haven’t done that.”
“That’s exactly what we do when we meet behind the hotel, and I have to have dinner with you away from prying eyes.”
“I thought you wanted to maintain discretion.”
“I do. That’s why if we do this . . . You come to stay with me.”
“Stay with you?” I ask, doubt creeping in.
“Yes, in my guest home on my property. That eliminates the risk of being discovered, and I can have you at my beck and call whenever I want to. No barriers.”
What in the hell am I doing? The thought of being that close to Nazár and him having me whenever he wants thrills me. I can’t believe I’m giving up my independence, something I treasure, and I say, “Okay.”
“One more thing.”
“Yes?”
“You don’t call me. You come to me when I’m ready for you.” He turns and walks to the door, opens it, and leaves me standing there as he closes it firmly behind him.
What the entire fuck did I just get myself into?