Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
Karina
Idropped my bags at the door the same way I always did. The same way I did the night I flipped open my laptop to see Kareem’s face and name in my email, the email Rayla sent the night my life changed forever.
The bags hit the floor with more dramatics this time around. My feet wouldn’t move. My legs couldn’t carry me any further than where I stood.
Tears crowded my eyes, and I could feel a slight sting under my lids. My only option was to give in. I sank right there in front of the door on top of my bags.
The entire apartment was spinning, and I couldn’t breathe. Thoughts of my prom night dripped through my mind in violent waves. I had given up everything, including my family, to save myself from what I was experiencing right now — an inevitable heartbreak.
“Karina, calm down. Just breathe,” my grandmother urged as she helped me zip my dress. It was a beautiful red gown that she’d sewn herself.
“I don’t know why I’m so nervous, Gramma. It’s just Kareem.”
“It’s your prom night, baby girl. You are supposed to be nervous. Just don’t forget Kareem is lucky to be going to prom with you, not the other way around.”
“I know, Ma.”
“Good.”
My grandmother kissed me on the cheek and turned me around so I could look at myself in the mirror. I’d never seen myself so pretty. My hair had never been this silky nor my curls as bouncy.
The conversation between my grandpa and Kareem, as well as the walk to Kareem’s truck, was a blur.
He’d picked me up in his old Ford F-150, which he drove me around in most nights.
The same truck that we parked on dirt roads and kissed when we thought nobody was looking.
It was the same truck he gave me a ride home from school in every day.
“You look so good.”
Kareem was finally in the safety of his truck and could compliment me without the sharp looks from my papa. The awkward smile he wore told me that he was just as nervous as I was, even though he was hiding it a little better.
The possibilities of the night had me on Cloud Nine as we whipped through traffic. Would I get to dance with Kareem all night? Would we sneak kisses? What would happen when the dance was over and it was just the two of us?
We made it to prom in less than twenty minutes and easily fell into the crowd. The deejay played one hit after another.
The night started so perfectly. Kareem and I danced to every song that came on, and when I mentioned being thirsty, he got me some punch just like they did in the movies. Everything about prom was great until Hurricane Michelle made her landing.
“Low” by Flo Rida boomed through the speakers, and I found my way to the dance floor. Not only was it my favorite song, but it was also my ringtone. I had recorded it off the radio at least three times before it was clear enough to be used.
I was putting on my best show, and I could feel Kareem behind me.
He gripped my hips, and we grinded on each other for as long as we could since we knew one of the chaperones would break us up soon.
Still, while we were still away from adult eyes, I gave each thrust in his direction everything I had, and he held on like he was on his favorite ride.
As Flo Rida’s voice seeped through the speakers, I felt Kareem’s body move from behind mine. Michelle had come between us and slipped her arms around his neck.
She looked back at me with a wink before using her body to push him in the opposite direction from me. “You don’t mind if I get this dance, do you, Karina?”
Michelle had been in a one-way competition with me our whole high school career, and it didn’t change when we became seniors.
I thought she would mature and get over whatever beef she had with me, but when she lied on me just to become cheer captain, I gave up on trying to understand her.
We went back and forth on everything, and since her daddy had the money to pay her way, she mostly won.
Now, it was clear she wanted Kareem. If I said, ‘fuck no, you can’t dance with my man,’ I would look jealous. I didn’t want her to think I was threatened.
“If that’s what he wants to do.”
“Trust me. He wants to.”
I had never really been jealous of anyone before, but that night, seeing her with Kareem, I was more than jealous. His hands fell to her waist just as they had to mine. His eyes were locked on her as they swayed from one side to another.
A call coming through on my phone pulled me out of my thoughts. I grabbed it out of my bag and wiped my face before answering.
“Hello.”
“Karina, OMG! I would have never been able to tell this story the way you did. You are truly a genius.”
“Thanks, Rayla.” I sniffled but tried my best to hide the pain in my voice.
If Rayla knew what state I was in, she would be doing ninety to nothing trying to get here. She had better things to worry about.
“Are you sick? You sound a little sick?”
“No. I’m okay.”
“Well, look, I’m not going to keep you on the phone too long. I know you don’t like it when I do, but I just want to congratulate you in advance. As soon as this article is public, you will blow up.”
“Thank you, Rayla. That truly means a lot coming from you.”
“Look, I’m no fool. I know you won’t be with me much longer after this, but let’s set up brunch next week so we can talk about your launch. It must be perfect.”
“Okay, I will set something up and text you the deets.”
“Please do. Love you and see you soon.” Rayla blew kisses into the phone before we both hung up.
Rayla always seemed to show up in my life at the exact time I needed her. Her calling right now was no different from her pulling up a chair to the table I was reading at in the library on my first day of freshman year.
I’d just left home and was convinced I would never go back.
How could I when I saw Kareem with another girl and still gave him the one thing I could never get back?
We went to a hotel room that he’d already booked right after prom.
I was a virgin when I went in but felt like a grown woman when I came out.
Experiencing Kareem on that level made me realize that I would never be okay with the heartbreak that would come from seeing him with somebody else, as I had at prom earlier that night.
The moment I saw Kareem on that dance floor with Michelle was the exact moment I knew I wanted him to take my virginity. I don’t know if I did it in hopes of keeping him. The way Kareem explored my body in that hotel room was something I would never forget.
The next day, he was right back in her face, and I knew that would be the last time I competed for a man. If Michelle wanted Kareem, she could have him. That was the reason I cut him off all those years ago, and history was repeating itself.
I didn’t know why this girl found her way into my life every time I was finally rising above all I’d been through. I survived my parents abandoning me, but I couldn’t survive Kareem doing the same. I remembered how I felt that night, and I knew I couldn’t have it happen again.