10. Maddie
CHAPTER 10
MADDIE
B y the time Maddie’s first month working for Eli had ended, things had begun to change around the house. She had gotten used to Eli’s new pattern of coming home earlier in the evening. Some nights — though not every night — he was home early enough to put Charlie to bed, a surprise that always left Charlie ecstatic. When it happened, Maddie did her best to get out of the way so that the two of them could make the most of their time together. She had come to a new appreciation of how much Eli really did care for his son — she could see it in everything he did now, in ways she genuinely hadn’t been able to before. The story he had shared about his past had changed everything for her.
Of course he wanted the best for Charlie. He wasn’t simply a workaholic who never spared a thought for his son. It was so much more complicated than that. Eli wanted everything for Charlie, and the best way he knew how to provide that was by making sure there was always enough money.
And to be fair to him, Maddie knew, that was important. Because of Eli’s success in his career, Charlie would never be hungry. He would always have the best education, and his future would be whatever he wanted it to be. If he didn’t get to spend so much time with his father — well, to Eli, that probably seemed like an acceptable price to pay. Maybe it was an acceptable price to pay. What did Maddie know about it? She wasn’t a parent.
It was Tuesday evening, and she found herself alone in the kitchen cleaning up. Eli wasn’t home from work yet, and Charlie had gone to bed disappointed at not being able to see him. Maddie had considered asking Eli to try to schedule the specific days he would be able to come home early in order to make things easier for his son. That way, Charlie wouldn’t have to deal with getting his hopes up only to be let down.
She hadn’t been able to find a way to ask Eli that, though. It wasn’t as if she couldn’t see that he was trying, and she very much did not want to call him out when he was starting to change his habits and make a real effort to be there for his son. That was something that ought to be rewarded, not nitpicked.
Eli came into the kitchen, startling her, and she whirled to face him. “I didn’t hear you come in,” she said.
“I came in quietly,” he admitted. “I know I’m a little later than usual tonight, and I thought Charlie might be sleeping.”
“Yeah, he is.”
He cursed softly. “I thought he might be, but I still hoped.”
Allowing herself a slight risk, Maddie said, “I know he was hoping for that too. He wanted to see you.”
“I’ll try to get home earlier tomorrow. Did you guys cook something today?”
“No, we painted, actually. You didn’t tell me he had an art studio.”
“It’s hardly a studio. Just a few supplies in the corner of his play room.”
“Nice supplies,” Maddie said. “Acrylic paints, quality brushes, an easel, stretched canvases — and everything untouched. I’m surprised you bought all that when he didn’t have a passion for painting before today.”
“I read a parenting book that gave a list of ideas for things you should buy for your kid at each age, and art supplies were on the list.” Eli shrugged. “I just got everything the clerk at the store said I should get.”
“When did this happen?”
“When he turned five.”
“And he’s never touched any of it, in all that time,” Maddie marveled.
“I figured he would get to it when he was ready for it.”
“I think he hardly knew it was there, to tell you the truth. That playroom is so full of toys and games that he’s not sure what he has. I was the one who set out the art supplies, and once he saw them, he got interested.” Maddie shrugged. “Anyway, he wants to show you what he painted. He’s been talking about it all day.”
“What did he paint?”
“He won’t tell me. I mean, I’ve seen it, but when I asked him to talk to me about it, he got all quiet and mysterious and said he was only going to tell you about it,” Maddie said. “He’s saving it for you.”
“That’s sweet of him.”
“Yeah, so I would just make sure he gets the chance to show it to you sometime soon.”
“I will.” He offered her a small smile, and Maddie felt relieved. When she had first come to work here, saying something like that to her boss would have felt as if she was stepping out of line, telling him how he should care for his son. It didn’t feel like that anymore, though. Now she knew that he welcomed her input. He was glad for her to tell him the things she noticed about Charlie, about what he needed and how Eli could be more active in his role as father. His desire to be a good parent was more powerful than his ego, and that was a good thing to know about him.
It didn’t help her with the fact that she couldn’t seem to stop daydreaming about him.
It had helped a little to think of Eli as cold and uncaring, to imagine that he was the kind of man who didn’t appreciate his child, because of course there was only so much she could feel for someone like that. But that barrier had been stripped away now, and she saw him for the person he was. He was someone who wanted, more than anything, to care for Charlie, and that made her admire him so much more than she might have done otherwise.
She turned away to finish washing the dishes.
“Leave that,” Eli said. “I’ll do it.”
“This is my job,” she pointed out. It was true — taking care of minor household chores was included in her job description.
“You’ve worked all day,” Eli said. “I can do the dishes. Come and have a glass of wine with me.”
He was doing this more and more often — offering to open a bottle of wine for her at the end of the day, or inviting her to sit down with him as he ate a late dinner. It was something Maddie had come to enjoy, but she also knew that she probably shouldn’t be doing it as much as she was. She should tell him no, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to do that, because the truth was that she wanted that experience. She wanted him to come home in time to see Charlie, but at the same time, she wanted him to come home after Charlie was in bed so that the two of them could spend time together.
Maddie had also noticed that Eli never worked as late as he once had these days. Even on the nights when she was sure he must know he was going to miss out on seeing Charlie, he was making an effort to get home earlier.
She could only think of one possible reason for that — it had to be because he wanted to spend more time with her.
She took a seat at the table, feeling slightly uneasy about the choice she was making but incapable of choosing anything else. Eli went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle that was shorter and narrower than a standard wine bottle.
He noticed her looking at it. “It’s a dessert wine,” he explained. “I don’t always like these, but as a special treat, they can be really nice.”
“Are you supposed to have dessert with it?”
“Yes. I brought home a tiramisu.”
“You did?” She hadn’t expected that at all.
Eli pointed to a bag on the counter that he must have brought in with him — it hadn’t been there before, but she hadn’t noticed it when he had come in. “I had my assistant pick it up and bring it to the office for me,” he said. “One of the nicest in the city. Have you been to this restaurant?”
She checked out the logo on the bag. It wasn’t a name she was familiar with. “I haven’t.”
“I’m going to have to take you sometime,” he said.
Maddie didn’t know quite what to say to that. Having a glass of wine at the end of the day was one thing, but was he talking about taking her out to a fancy dinner? Surely that was crossing the bounds of professionalism.
If Eli was aware of it, he showed no sign of it. He cut into the tiramisu and put pieces of it onto plates. He placed one of them in front of her and gave her a fork. “I hope you like it,” he said. “It’s supposed to be the best around.”
She waited while he poured the wine. “The truth is, I don’t think I would know a good tiramisu from a chocolate pudding,” she admitted. “I haven’t had it more than twice in my life.”
“Oh. You’re not a fan?”
“It isn’t that,” Maddie said. “It’s just not something that we really did in my family. My mom’s idea of dessert was a fruit salad with some whipped cream — which I also really enjoyed — so we didn’t have decadent stuff like this.” She took a bite and then sipped the wine. Eli was right — the two did pair well together.
“What about your father?” Eli asked.
Maddie shook her head. “He was more of a dessert guy, but he died when I was fourteen.”
“Oh, Maddie. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“No reason you would. I never brought it up to you until now.” She shrugged. “It was a long time ago. I don’t think about it as much as I once did.”
“But you do still think about it?”
“I’ll always think about it, to some degree. He was my father. He meant everything to me.”
“You were close, then?”
“Very close.” She hesitated. It was a difficult thing to talk about, even now. “He was my biggest fan,” she said. “My biggest supporter. When I used to talk about my plans to become a dancer, Dad was always the one who told me I could do it.”
“You said it took your parents a while to get on board with the idea.”
“That was mostly my mom. Really, Dad was with me from the start. He told me I was the world’s best dancer and that I could do anything I wanted to do — things that obviously weren’t exactly true, of course, but when you’re a little girl and your father tells you that you can do no wrong, you believe it.”
“I’d imagine,” Eli said quietly.
“I couldn’t be more grateful for everything he gave me,” Maddie said. “If not for my dad and his influence in my life, I don’t think I would have been brave enough to pursue a career in dance in the first place. And even though I wasn’t able to make that dream come true, the amount of time I spent trying is something I’m not ever going to forget. The training I got from it has been invaluable. And then there’s just the relationship I had with my dad. That’s been one of the most important experiences of my life. I don’t know what I would have done without him.”
Eli was quiet, staring into his wine glass.
It was only then that Maddie realized the weight behind what she had said — the thing he might have heard. He might think that she had been implying, yet again, that there was something wrong with the way he was raising Charlie. He might think she was drawing comparisons between himself and her own father.
She put her wine glass down and leaned in, anxious to correct any misunderstanding. “I don’t mean to say that — well, I wasn’t trying to say anything, really,” she said.
Eli raised his eyebrows, looking faintly amused. “What is it you weren’t trying to say?”
Oh, hell . “I just mean that… we were talking about you and Charlie, and then we were talking about me and my father, and I didn’t mean to suggest that the two situations were the same.”
“No, it sounds as if they could hardly be more different, according to you!”
“That’s not what I meant.”
But he was smiling. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not angry. You make a good point. I think so much about the things I want to provide for my son, but I sometimes forget that the most important thing I can give him is the memory of a childhood full of happiness. I want him to know that he was loved. It sounds like you never doubted that.”
“I never did,” Maddie agreed quietly.
“Thank you.” Eli’s tone was sincere. “Truly, I appreciate you sharing that.”
He reached out and rested his hand on top of hers for a moment.
Maddie breathed in sharply. What did this mean?
She should pull away from him — she should hurry up to her room, and never mind the wine and tiramisu.
She didn’t want to go.
She waited for him to break the contact between the two of them — but he wasn’t breaking it. It was almost as if he wasn’t even aware that this new line had been crossed.
What am I doing? For God’s sake, I could lose my livelihood over this. I could lose my place to live. What would I do then?
That realization broke through the cloud that had surrounded her thoughts. She removed her hand from his and got to her feet. “I ought to go to bed,” she murmured. “This was?—”
But she couldn’t think what to say. How could she describe it? What had it been?
Maddie turned and hurried away, but the feeling of palpable tension followed her.