37. This Woman’s Work
CHAPTER 37
This Woman’s Work
DUSTY
M y hand is frozen to the wall when I hear those words. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. I came out here to check on Key, to let him know that Joel is still asleep—that I’m more terrified than ever before.
I’m so in love with her.
He can’t. He can’t do this to me. I can’t do this.
“You know,” a woman’s voice says, “Becks and I have had this theory for a while that you were desperately in love with some girl. That you hated relationships because someone broke your heart.”
“It’s complicated,” Key says quietly.
“But do you think she still has the songs?” another man’s voice asks.
Songs?
“Dave, this isn’t the time,” the woman says.
“Izzy.” Dave sighs. “Of course it’s the time. She’s here. She might have them on her. We could clear our band’s name. Today .”
“If you haven’t noticed,” she huffs, “we have a bigger problem right now.”
“Joel is going to be fine,” Dave says. “Key said he’s stable, he just needs time to recover.”
“That could take months! Plus, it’s only been a few hours. What if something happens and he gets worse?”
Enough .
I turn the corner into the waiting room where I see a tall blond man, his hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a pretty dark-haired girl with bangles on her wrists. Key sits on the plastic bench attached to the wall behind them. They all notice me at once, and there’s an overwhelming sensation of shame that descends on me. This Dave and Izzy—what they must think about me? What will they think of me when I have to break someone’s heart?
Key is on his feet then and rushing over to me, scooping me up in a tight hug, and I want to just float away in it. To sink into his arms and finally fall asleep. Instead, I push away and he sets me down on my feet.
“Hey—Joel . . . has he woken up?” Key asks.
That voice. It’s so obvious now, and for a brief, sleep-deprived moment, I imagine us having this conversation through the phone back in my cubicle at work.
“No,” I whisper. “No, he hasn’t.” I swallow hard as three pairs of eyes wait for me to deliver the news. “I just came out here to check and see if you’re okay.”
It feels like I should be crying, but there are no more tears. I’ve run out, or perhaps I’m just too dehydrated. When was the last time I ate or drank anything? My knees falter beneath me but Key is there. He’s always been there. Why did I ever get so mad at him for it?
“I . . . I have them.”
Key shakes his head. “You . . . have what?”
“The songs you wrote. I have them.”
He extends his arms to get a better look at me. “You do?”
“Of course I do.” I sigh. “How could I not?”
He stares at me, and I don’t understand the expression. I thought maybe he’d look relieved. Or happy? Instead, he seems confused. I turn to his blond friend.
“I’ll go get them,” I whisper. “Your band’s name with be cleared by this time tomorrow.”
His mouth drops open. “No!” he nearly shouts. “No, I didn’t—that’s not what I meant.”
“Dave, you complete asshole.” Izzy shakes her head and smacks him on the chest.
“No, he’s not,” I say. “This is important. It’s important to Joel. And rather than have me stand around uselessly at the hospital waiting for . . .” I pause, reminding myself that Joel might not want to see me when he wakes up. Maybe it’s better if I’m not here. That way I can’t do any more damage. “Please, let me help.”
Izzy steps forward and grasps my hand. “Come for a walk with me.”
I blink at her, taken aback. I don’t even know her. Why does she want to take a walk with me?
“Come on, let’s go outside. I think you need some fresh air.”
Her eyes widen imperceptibly and I understand what she’s really trying to say. That she wants to talk to me out of earshot of the others. About what, I don’t know, but I nod. “Yes, actually—that’s a good idea.”
“Perfect,” she says with a smile, then links her arm with mine. “Boys, we’ll be right back.”
Izzy escorts me through the maze of hallways toward the emergency bay doors until we step out into the cloudy afternoon air. It hits my face, and I’m instantly relieved. I close my eyes and breathe. The peppermint oil the nurse gave me was helping but this is so much better.
“Thank you,” I say as her arm drops and she turns to face me.
“No problem. Smoke?” She holds up a pack of cigarettes.
I laugh, relieved. “Actually, yes. Thank you, again.”
“I’m Isabella,” she says, lighting her smoke and taking a long puff. “Or Izzy, as everyone calls me. I realize we weren’t properly introduced.”
“Dusty,” I say. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“I don’t know if you remember, but we’ve actually met before.”
I choke on the smoke. “We have?”
She nods. “In Vegas, at the diner? You gave me a tampon in the bathroom.”
My brain is too tired. Too scattered. But it does come back to me. “Oh my god, yes of course! That was the morning after I met Joel.”
She smiles. “He talked about this amazing girl he’d met for hours,” she says, exhaling deeply. “It was a long ride home.”
A warmth spreads through my chest. “He . . . he is very sweet.”
“Key was quiet and distracted. I don’t even think he registered that Joel had spent the night with you, he was so caught up in his own world. I thought at the time that he was just really, really hung over.”
I chew my cheek and look down. “I-I may have seen him earlier in the night—before I met Joel.” Then I realize why she’s talking to me about this. She’s trying to determine whose heart I’m going to break.
“Listen,” I start, “you have to believe me, I didn’t know they were friends. I was?—”
“I get it.”
My eyebrows rise. “Wait, get what?”
“Why they’re both attracted to you.”
My lips part, but I don’t know what to say.
“You’re exactly their type,” she says with a laugh. “Believe me I’ve seen them with their fair share of women, and you’re like, their perfect choice all rolled into one. They’ve always had the same taste. I think that’s why they’re so close.”
I close my eyes. “I never meant for this to happen,” I say into the wind. “I don’t deserve either of them. Key and I—there’s so much history and feelings there, but also so much hurt. And Joel? He’s too wonderful to ever consider breaking his heart. If I was a braver woman, I’d leave now. I don’t know what happens next, but if their friendship ended because of me? I’d never forgive myself.”
Izzy smiles and touches my arm. “And now I understand why they’re both in love with you.”
I thought I had no more tears left to cry, but one slips down my cheek as I take a final drag of my cigarette. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to go back in there and be by Joel’s side until he wakes up. The songs can wait. I know it feels like you need something to do, or maybe you’re thinking about a worst-case scenario of him waking up and not wanting you there. But I promise you, he does. Just be with him. Maybe try to sleep a little. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
With a nod, I sniff. Is she right? “And after?”
She smiles. “I can’t see the future, but something tells me everything is going to work out for all of you. You’ll see.”
What does she mean by that? In what world does this work out and we all end up happy?
“Come on,” she says. “I’ll deal with Dave, and Key will understand.”
I reach out and grab her arm as she turns for the doors. “Thank you,” I say. “I, uh . . . I don’t really have any girlfriends or . . .” I trail off, chuckling nervously. “Or friends at all, so I appreciate you being so nice.”
“We’re a family,” she says simply. “That’s what we do.”