Chapter Four
Ernest
“Did you have any luck with the council?”
Ernest shook his head. He was out in his greenhouse, thinning out some seedling trays.
It was important work, and Ernest usually felt calmed doing it.
But after what felt like a fruitless two days, trying to get somebody to take his concerns about a balloon landing in his field seriously, that calm had escaped him.
Rick seeking him out, he’d expected, but Ernest still didn’t know what on earth he could say.
“You’ll be pleased to know that, on the one hand, according to the F.A.A., hot air balloons can’t just land wherever the fuck they feel like, despite what Pierre was fond of saying.”
“That’s good news, then, right?”
“You’d think.” Ernest’s hand gripped the trowel he was holding tight enough to make the wood crack. “While balloons can’t land anywhere they like, they do need to ensure the safety of their passengers, and changes in weather can sometimes result in them not landing where they’d originally planned.”
Rick snorted. “Don’t talk to me about wind and weather changes. I’m not a damn weather guru. Can we stop Pierre from landing those over-sized party favors in our fields?”
“Yes. We have that right. According to the guy at the council, because I already warned Pierre from ever landing in my fields back when we broke up, that should be enough. Balloon pilots need to have permission from the landowners before they land, and that applies to chase crews as well.”
“But? You wouldn’t be stabbing that plant tray with a wrecked trowel if that’s all the council said.”
“The council guy thought it was a domestic issue.” Ernest gave up and dropped the trowel onto the large plank holding the trays.
“A case of me being petty because Pierre left me. He actually said, ‘Oh, having a balloon land in your field would be so romantic. They are so beautiful, and people get so much joy from seeing them in the air.’ What about my damn flowers! I told the guy I was going to raise so much shit if Pierre’s balloon landed anywhere near my land. ”
“That could be what Pierre is hoping for,” Rick stated fatalistically. “While you’ve been wrestling with the council, I thought I’d do a bit of digging about Bucket List Buddies. I was looking for why Pierre would involve himself with them in the first place.”
“When you told me about this, you gave me the impression that Pierre was mate hunting.” Ernest turned around, leaning his butt against the plank.
“Makes sense if you think about it. Anyone who goes on one of those trips would have to have money. A balloon trip isn’t cheap, and that’s all he cares about. ”
“Oh, I think he’s mate hunting all right—not fated mates.” Rick grimaced. “That damn otter wouldn’t want to be tied down, but I think he’s set his sights on his next mark—the owner of Bucket List Buddies.”
“The guy’s rich?”
“Oh, yeah. Not the guy who runs the office in town. That’s Remy.
He takes a wage just like anyone else, and according to pub gossip, he’s a really decent guy.
But the man who started the business in the first place, the one with all the money, is a guy named Sven, and he is loaded.
We’re talking international travel every week, multiple business interests, family money behind him, and never having to consider what anything costs.
And more importantly for Pierre,” Rick pointed his finger at Ernest’s chest. “The guy is single. You can’t tell me Pierre hasn’t done his homework. ”
“That’s a bit of a reach.” Ernest rubbed his chin. His jaw ache was a clear indicator of stress. “If this Sven you mention is always traveling, how is Pierre ever going to meet him?”
“By causing a scandal, a public nuisance, getting himself in the news because the owner of a flower farm wants to sue him, while all he’s doing is good deeds by helping people find their freaking mates.
Do you think the owner of the Bucket List Buddies company isn’t going to hear about that, seeing as it is their logo on the promotional brochure? ”
“Aargh!” Ernest scrubbed his hands over his face. “Okay, we need to make sure this can’t happen. Not that I know this Sven, and I don’t have anything against what Bucket List Buddies are doing. All I give a shit about is our flowers.”
“All right. We need a plan. The council has been alerted?”
“Yes. Pierre was told by me that he’s not allowed on my land.
The council has at least taken note that no hot air balloons are to come onto my land.
I even put in a call to the local police and got a trespass order taken out against Pierre.
So if he comes onto my land, the police will come if called.
That was another freaking embarrassment. ”
“That was a good idea.” Rick clapped. “I can’t see how that was embarrassing. The breach of a trespass order is something the police have to respond to.”
“Have you ever filed a trespass notice against anyone?” Ernest shook his head, feeling his cheeks flush.
“The officer who took down the details of why I wanted the order filed spent the whole time he was writing things down, muttering about how stupid it was that grown men were resorting to police orders, when I should’ve just given the upset party a blowjob, and bought him a car or something to make him feel better.
I was the upset party.” Ernest slapped his chest.
“Yeah. It was a blowjob that got you into this mess in the first place,” Rick snarled. “Did you happen to mention that damn otter stole your car and still has it? Knowing you, you’re still paying insurance on the thing.”
“I’m not that bad.” Ernest winced as he noticed Rick’s glare.
“Okay…maybe a little. I stopped the insurance payments, but the car’s in his name now.
I didn’t see the point in fighting it. Look, can we talk about the matter at hand?
Rehashing how badly things went with Pierre isn’t going to solve our current problem. ”
“I can’t believe you gave him the damn car, but all right. So the council has been advised?”
“Yes, although the man I was speaking to said there wasn’t a map or anything, like they have in other states, showing where hot air balloons could land or not.
Pierre’s is the only company operating balloons in this area.
When I explained about the seedlings, the clerk also mentioned that it would be unrealistic of me to expect a balloon pilot to ascertain the state of a field when they were deciding to land, but that they were supposed to get permission from the landowners before putting a balloon down on private property. ”
“Pierre doesn’t have that, and you’ve also gotten a trespass order taken out against him. Did the police let you know when that would get served on him?”
“That should’ve already been done.” Tapping his chin with his finger, Ernest added, “I did read the online information provided by the F.A.A. about this—the council kept me on hold forever—and balloonists won’t land where there are obstacles in the fields, or livestock, or things like power lines.”
“There’s no power line out toward the hills where the paddocks are, and livestock is just going to ruin the plants as well.
However, we can stop the chase crew coming in.
” Rick grinned. “A chain and a couple of padlocks on the front gate mean they can’t get in.
There’s no other drivable access to the flower paddocks at all. ”
“That’s good. That’s good.” Ernest gave a passing thought to the covers he’d neglected to order when he should’ve done. They would’ve stopped a balloon from landing on the fields. He did order them, but they would not arrive before the weekend.
“The issue, the way I see it, is that anything we put in the paddocks to stop the balloon is going to wreck the plants just as much. I’ve got to admit, it’s worrying me sick.
” Ernest rubbed over his belly. “I’ve barely been able to sleep.
I’m not eating. And for an elephant shifter, that’s really not a good idea. ”
“What about some electrical fence tape?” Rick suggested.
“That stuff used to keep cows out of the paddocks? How would that work? I didn’t even know we had any.”
“Yes, we have some. Remember when we had an issue with the cattle from the neighboring farm until you offered to help them fix their fences? There’s at least six big spools of the stuff over in the shed.
We could,” he started gesturing with his hands, “we could tie the tape to the corner fence posts of each paddock and run giant diagonal lines across the top of the plants. We could walk along the fence lines, no need to be in the fields at all, and if we did that, there is no way a balloon pilot—aka fucking Pierre—could miss seeing them. If he were that blind, he shouldn’t be flying. ”
“That would make it plain the paddocks were protected, yes.” Nodding, Ernest pictured how that would look from the air. “The large crosses would scream ‘keep out,’ surely to goodness. That’s a great idea.” Then he winced as he remembered something else.
“What now?” Rick demanded. “You won’t even lose the tape. We can just roll it up and put it back in the shed when this whole balloon business is over.”
“It’s something I remember Pierre telling me, and I read about it on the F.A.A.
site as well. Balloons don’t just drop from the sky.
If Pierre is planning to land in one of my paddocks, he’ll have planned his descent and will be lowering the balloon for up to half an hour before he gets here.
By the time he realizes we’ve marked off the paddocks with those big crosses, he could be low on fuel, and if we push him to find a different landing spot too far away, he could crash. ”
“Well, shit,” Rick grumbled. “I don’t give a fuck about him, but he carries at least a dozen or more people in those baskets of his.”
“Exactly. Saving our next harvest is one thing, but I’m not hurting others to do it.”
“The field over by the old airstrip,” Rick said suddenly, his pointing finger waggling in Ernest’s direction.
“We let the three fields at that end of the farm lie fallow this year, so it won’t matter if he lands there.
It’s well away from the house, it’s nowhere near our operations here, and because that airstrip gets used sometimes, there is another short gravel road that services the runway.
His chase crew can get to the balloon from there, and none of them have to come anywhere near here at all. We won’t even have to see him.”
It's a damn sight better than nothing. Ernest nodded. “That sounds great, thanks. Er… so… do you have any plans tonight? Only that means we have twenty paddocks to put crosses on, and then we need to find a padlock and chain for the front gate. We can’t use any of the machinery, so there’s going to be a fair bit of walking to do. ”
“Meh, the exercise won’t hurt either of us.” Rick chuckled. “You might actually get some sleep tonight if we get this done.”
“It’s one way of working up an appetite,” Ernest agreed. “You know,” he added as he and Rick left the greenhouse, “we’re going to look like damn idiots if Pierre doesn’t fly his balloons in this direction at all.”
“If he’s not in the area, then he’s not going to see what we’ve done,” Rick pointed out. “But you tell me, do you honestly think he’ll leave this farm alone?”
Ernest didn’t answer. There was no point. He’d been with the man for weeks, and he still didn’t know the limits of Pierre’s manipulation. And I don’t need to know, he reminded himself firmly.