15. We’re Alive
We’re Alive
Cerise
Ishivered by the fire Liam had started with his magic, trying to dry my still wet clothing. Tangled vines hung above me, the star-flecked night sky peeking through.
There was no way to discern where we were. Everything looked the same, emerald greens blending with the brown of fallen leaves and the pinks and purples of flowers. Just jungle. And further away…more jungle.
We were indeed lost, separated from our team with no way to determine the path back. And it was my fault because I couldn’t climb fast enough.
It was all my fault.
“Your clothes will dry much faster if you remove them, you know,” Liam said, stirring the fire with a stick from his spot across from me.
“Unlike you, I’m not eager to strip down to my underthings in the middle of a rainforest,” I quipped, trying to avoid looking at his almost completely nude body. His beautifully sculpted, smooth-skinned body.
“Oh come on, sunshine. I promise not to look. You’re freezing.”
I met his gaze and sighed.
“I’m serious, Cerise. You’ll catch a chill if you don’t let those clothes dry.”
I stood and began to unbutton the front of my shirt. “Fine. And look all you want, I’m not ashamed of my body. I’m just trying to be professional.”
Liam let out a laugh. “I think the time for being professional is over. We’re stranded in the jungle for fuck’s sake.”
“Cursing is unbecoming,” I chided, though there was no venom in my voice.
Undoing the last button, I laid my shirt over a nearby branch next to Liam’s clothing and removed my pants. Now down to my undergarments, an ivory bra and matching underwear, I reclaimed my seat and scooted closer to the fire, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Better?” Liam asked, watching me intensely.
“Not much,” I said with a shiver, goosebumps rising on my flesh.
Liam rose and ducked inside the tent, emerging with a blanket in hand. Kneeling, he laid it across my shoulders, pulling it tight beneath my chin, then sat beside me.
“Thank you,” I said.
Silence stretched between us as we stared at the fire, lost in thought. I couldn’t stop replaying the way the water felt when I fell from the rock; the panic that had enveloped me before I lost consciousness and everything went dark.
Another shiver coursed through me, this time not due to the chill.
Liam scooted closer, slipping an arm around me. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” My throat was tight as I fought against the unshed tears threatening to spill. I wasn’t a crier, it made me feel out of control, but right now I was on the verge of losing it.
“Are you all right, Cerise?”
“Of course. I’m just tired.” I cleared my throat. “So what’s the plan?”
Liam tilted his head as if he didn’t believe my answer, but didn’t comment on it. “Aren’t you the planner? Why don’t you tell me?”
He was right. I was the planner. But now…now I felt completely helpless.
Clutching the blanket tighter, I shook my head and whispered, “I don’t know.”
My mother’s voice sounded in my head. You must always be prepared, Cerise. Expect the unexpected. Be professional at all times. You never know who’s watching.
A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. I tried to wipe it away before Liam could see, but wasn’t quick enough.
“Hey.” He gently gripped my chin with his thumb and forefinger, turning my face toward his. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll figure it out.” He tightened his grip around my shoulders. “We’re alive, Cerise. It could have been much worse.”
I nodded, sniffling. Another tear fell and Liam wiped it away with his thumb. “Mmm hmm.”
“Say it,” Liam said, his green eyes fierce.
“Say what?”
“We’re alive.”
I took a breath. “We’re alive.”
The sound of a bird call startled me awake, the subtle glow of the morning sun brightening the inside of our tent.
We were fortunate Liam was a quick thinker and had managed to keep hold of his pack.
We still had some food, a tent, and basic supplies.
But the food wouldn’t last long. We’d have to use the jungle for our sustenance in a few days.
Liam and I had stayed by the fire, silent for most of the evening as we munched on dried beef and tried to find a silver lining to our predicament. But when I could hardly keep my eyes open, Liam insisted we get some sleep and ordered me into the tent.
The steady way he took the lead eased something in me.
I was too terrified to think our way out of this.
Too traumatized by my near drowning to calm my thoughts.
Liam had seemed to notice last night, bolstering me with promises of survival and insisting we would be found, forcing me to eat, to sleep.
Despite our dilemma, it warmed something in me.
A subtle pressure on my abdomen urged me to open my eyes.
Glancing down, I found Liam’s arm draped across me.
We were still in our underclothes and I tensed when I realized how close we were.
As if we’d subconsciously drifted toward each other in the night.
We certainly hadn’t gone to sleep like this.
But I didn’t want to scoot away. Not yet.
I carefully rolled to my side, facing the sleeping professor, and studied his face.
Strands of white hair sat unruly on his head.
He was never able to tame it. Kind of like his personality.
My eyes moved over his eyelashes. His strong jaw with a hint of stubble, darker than his hair, which added a bit of a rugged appeal.
His broad shoulders peppered with freckles.
His body that was somehow both lean and packed with muscle, rendering him long and strong and… beautiful.
He was beautiful.
And up until the flood, I’d been having fun with him. I couldn’t remember the last time I just…lived. Everything was always about control. Schedules. Accomplishments. Goals. I could hardly remember a time before that, it was so ingrained in me from my mother. Even as a child.
“Oh Cerise. Look at you. You got mud all over the house,” my mother said one afternoon.
I’d been playing in the backyard, only eight years old.
Fascinated by the earth worms living in the soil, I had used water to make a mud city, building them little houses, waterways and businesses, then decorated their town with sticks, leaves and flowers.
Deciding I wanted to make a sign to place at the worm hospital, I’d run inside to retrieve a writing utensil.
“I’m sorry, mama. It was an accident. I just needed to get something for my worm hospital.”
“Worm hospital? What on earth are you doing? Did you already finish your lessons?” my mother chastised.
“Yes. I did them all.”
My mother had designed educational lessons for me to complete outside of my usual schooling, insisting the school didn’t teach me enough. That I needed to know more. But what I really wanted to do was play with the animals and learn how to heal them.
It was all I ever wanted.
“If you completed them this quickly, then they aren’t challenging enough. Go wash up and then you will clean every inch of this house.”
I had done as my mother asked, dejectedly dragging my feet through the house. After bathing and cleaning the mud on the floor, I’d run outside to check on the worms.
My mother had destroyed my entire creation.
It broke my heart.
Years later, when I was twelve, I told my mother I wanted to be an animal healer. “I want to save the hurt creatures. I want to have my own clinic and take care of them.”
“Nonsense, Cerise. That is a shameful career. You make very little money and spend all day dealing with blood and dirty creatures.”
“Oh,” I said, looking down at my feet.
“You will do research at a prestigious university. Like your mother. Don’t you want to do what I do?”
“Yes, mother…”
But I didn’t.
I sighed, pushing the memories away. How was Liam able to be so uninhibited? So easygoing? I initially thought him irresponsible. Oblivious. Foolish. But that wasn’t it, was it?
He was free.
And he’d shown me I could be that way too. That I could have fun. I smiled to myself at the memory of us releasing those insects into Dr. Rosenshield’s tent. I hadn’t laughed that hard in years.
“Morning,” Liam said, interrupting my thoughts.
I met his sleepy gaze, resisting the urge to brush a rebellious piece of hair from his face. “Morning.”
Liam’s eyes followed his arm draped over my waist and then widened. “Oh. Sorry.” He pulled away and sat up, retrieving his glasses and placing them on. “I didn’t realize I’d done that.”
“It’s quite all right. It was cold last night.”
“Indeed it was,” he replied, studying me closely.
“I’ll go check to see if our clothing is dry.”
I rose and left the tent, squinting against the bright sun.
The clothing still hung where we’d left it.
I approached and took my shirt, pulling it over my head.
It was still a bit damp due to the humidity of the jungle, but significantly better than its previous state.
I pulled on my pants, preparing to don my boots when movement in my peripheral vision made me pause.
Turning, I found a family of sturudillos digging in the dirt with their long snouts.
“How are our—” Liam said, emerging from the tent.
“Shhh.” I waved my hand and pointed to the creatures.
He froze, stopping next to me, as we watched in awe.
Sturudillos were rare. I’d never seen one in real life but had read about them in my field guides.
They were small, about the size of a cat, with armored bodies that glimmered in the sun.
Their large claws were used to dig in the dirt for insects.
Two adults and three offspring scurried around before us, oblivious to our presence as they dug for their meal.
We remained there, watching the animals until they finished and wandered off.
“Beautiful,” I whispered.
“Absolutely stunning,” Liam said, but when I met his gaze, he was looking at me.