Chapter 2
Leviathan
Dolphins were assholes.
Leviathan had run into this pod before, and sure enough, they had stolen another female.
He spoke a dolphin command to let the female go back to her original pod, but the males just laughed at him.
Yes, he spoke dolphin. Dolphins were highly intelligent, and just like most highly intelligent species, there were real jerks scattered amongst them.
He stayed far away because of his formidable size. He didn’t like hurting sea creatures, even if they were assholes. Besides, the last time he’d run into this pod, they had tried to have sex with his tentacles.
Dolphins were horny fuckers. They’d have sex with anything.
Hachi, an octopus he often hung out with, had no such concern, however. He went over, punched a dolphin in the face with a tentacle, and then the skirmish was on.
Levi and Hachi were, of course, victorious, and the female dolphin was returned to her original pod with a bit of dolphin talk and directions. No creatures were injured, and no one had tried to hump him, so he called it a win.
It was after she was safely back with her pod that Levi noticed the pull. It had probably started a few minutes ago, but he usually tried to ignore urges now. He really couldn’t go around sinking ships willy-nilly.
Ah, how he missed the good old days.
This didn’t feel like the pull of envy, however.
It seemed more like an afterlife call. He gave himself a bit of a stretch, then “talked” to Hachi to let him know he was heading out, which consisted of a few color changes and tentacle motions.
Hachi decided to hitch a ride and come along.
Levi didn’t mind—he was the best company Levi’d had in quite awhile.
He propelled his body back toward his shore home. It didn’t bode well that an afterlifer had found his topside residence. Luce knew about it, of course, but this call to land did not have Luce’s flavor to it.
It tasted of mahogany and evergreen sap, which reminded Levi of the good old days when boats were handmade and tasted delicious—none of this modern day fiberglass and steel. It had an earthy, wholesome flavor to it, and Levi was intrigued.
Nevertheless, he was cautious. Afterlifers were, on the whole, a pain in the ass.
He was a sea monster and a demon (although he was certainly a unique demon), so he got back to his coastal home in the Americas in excellent time. Hachi just hung on and enjoyed the ride. He was Levi’s adventure buddy, and he was up for anything.
It was always nice to have an adventure buddy.
He fancied himself a bit like the Doctor (yes, he had watched TV while topside), only instead of traveling time, he traveled the seas.
And his companions were sea animals. Sure, he’d had the occasional human, but those were always for short adventures.
Humans unfortunately could not breathe underwater, and he preferred the sea.
Sailors were fun, but they eventually wanted to head back to land, too.
Land was overrated.
The flavor of the call got stronger, and it tasted even more alluring the closer he got. Which was why he was rather surprised to see an angel standing on the dock at the back of his house when he got near the shore.
Since when did angels have an alluring flavor?
Levi thought he had seen this angel around, or maybe he just knew of him. He didn’t have much connection to the heavenly crew. Lately, he didn’t have much connection to the afterlife crew in general.
Really, it’s not like he had much to do anyway. Humans had plenty of envy without any help from him. Sure, maybe he helped along the invention of social media, because that was an excellent way to spread envy. That had backfired on him a bit, though.
Never underestimate how far humans would take things.
Hachi let go of him and floated up closer to get a look at the angel. That was fine. He was still far enough back that the angel probably hadn’t spotted him.
The angel was so… buttoned up. Who did up the top button on their dress shirt? All the buttons on their suit jacket? Who wore a white suit when it was over ninety degrees outside and they were practically at the beach?
Angels. That’s who. And this one was more buttoned up than most. He could tell.
Would it be terrible if he came out with a bit of a splash? He had such a desire to see Buttons get a little messed up.
He was a demon and a sea monster, after all. He had a reputation to uphold.
Decision made, he shot up and burst out of the water, making a very large splash sure to soak Buttons.
He took his human form as he landed on the deck, and he didn’t bother with a shirt.
Leather pants were a bit much in the heat, so he opted for some dark linen pants, and he made sure all his tattoos and earrings and gauges were on display.
He even managed a bit of eyeliner, because he liked looking hot and sexy.
He wasn’t going to question why he wanted Buttons to think he was sexy, either.
Levi was a go with the flow kind of demon.
He looked up, and in less than a blink, any water and dishevelment was gone. The angel was just as buttoned up as usual.
Ohhh, game on. He had a new mission for the afternoon.
Buttons cleared his throat, and suddenly he was in a glowing white robe (which still had buttons that were done all the way up), and his white wings were stretched out behind him. It was all very pretty. He took a scroll out of… somewhere, and cleared his throat.
“I am Gabriel, the Divine Herald, and I have been tasked by the management team with delivering a message to Leviathan, the Demon of Envy, Embodiment of Chaos, and Serpent of the Sea.”
Levi didn’t think he was mistaken that Buttons gave a little lip curl when he mentioned the management team.
Good. Anyone who liked them wasn’t someone he wanted to know.
Otherwise, the angel had a beautiful voice.
Levi bet he could even use that voice underwater if he needed to.
He was the messenger angel after all—he probably had plenty of tricks up his sleeve.
If there was a message, he supposed he needed to hear it.
He stalked a little closer, unable to help himself.
Mmm, yes, Buttons did smell good. Levi had the urge to get a little taste with his tentacles.
He wondered what Buttons would do about that.
Probably freak the fuck out. It was almost worth it, but he supposed this was official afterlife business, so he just nodded his head instead.
Gabriel looked almost imperfect for barely a second. He held out the scroll to Levi, adding, “You must touch the seal for me to read the missive.”
Interesting.
“Is that normal?” Levi asked.
Gabriel frowned, shook his head, and motioned the scroll to him again.
“I received it from the full management team myself. I do not know its contents, but I do know it is genuinely from them. I am not aware if the heads of the afterlife have sanctioned their message,” Gabriel said.
How very interesting. Gabriel didn’t sound like he entirely approved. Levi wondered what afterlife drama he’d missed over the last few decades. Nothing to do but hear the message, though, so he held out his hand and touched the seal, which instantly dissolved.
Gabriel unfolded the missive and began reading. Levi listened with interest, noting how the angel got paler and more distressed as he read.
Leviathan, Demon of Envy, Embodiment of Chaos, and Serpent of the Sea,
It has come to our attention that you have not been on duty in the underworld for approximately 513 years, 114 days, and 17 hours (depending upon the timing of the delivery of this message).
You have not been approved for remote work, and, as such, a written warning would usually be issued in regards to your negligence.
However, the management team was impressed with your work on the social media project, and your ability to communicate effectively with the mortals has been noted and approved of by the DoS.
Because of this, you shall be entering into a Professional Development Partnership with Gabriel, Messenger of the Lord, the Divine Herald, the Angel of Revelation, and the Bringer of Souls.
You are expected to mentor the Divine Herald with clarity and professionalism in order to build competency and capacity in twenty-first century skills.
We are sure this partnership shall be a successful endeavor that serves in upskilling the mentee. Alignment of goals and action for success can be achieved through an immersive environment, and we are confident that all parties shall learn and develop from this partnership.
We look forward to positive results.
Sincerely,
The Management Team
Well, that was about as clear as mud. Gabriel didn’t look too happy, though, and he had a feeling the management team had just insulted the angel somehow.
“What the fuck did that all mean?” Levi asked.
“That means that we’re supposed to work together,” Gabriel said, angrily folding up the parchment.
“That means that the management team doesn’t think I can keep up with social media, so they have partnered us together so you can upskill me.
That means they want me to learn ‘twenty-first century skills,’ like the Almighty’s messages should be posted on that birdie app or that fakebook place or whatever humans use to communicate with one another. ”
Oh yeah, Buttons was pissed. Not at Levi, though—at the management team. Levi had to resist a smile.
“That ‘birdie app’ has a different name, and it’s been taken over and is beyond the reaches of hell now.
I wouldn’t trust anything on there. And that ‘fakebook place’ isn’t used much by the younger set.
I really can’t imagine the team wants all afterlife messages on social media,” Levi said.
That seemed a little insane, even for the management team.
“I have no idea what they want!” Gabriel cried out, throwing his hands up into the air.
He was back in his white suit, and he looked frustrated, agitated, and pretty damn unhappy.
It made Levi pissy. Fucking management team.
Sure, he kinda wanted to muss up Gabriel’s starched nature, but he wanted to do it.
“Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. I’m sure we can form a ‘Professional Development Partnership’ that benefits us both, and it doesn’t have to be what the fucking management team wants it to be.” Levi smirked. “A little rebellion might be good for you, Buttons.”
Gabriel’s mouth opened, and nothing came out. Ah, he’d made the angel speechless. He smirked and winked, then reached his arm into the water so Hachi could grab on. He started walking back to the house, calling out behind him, “You coming?”
This was gonna be an adventure, and two adventure buddies sounded fun, even if one was an angel.