Chapter 20 #2
“I had a pretty bad depressive episode in high school. I got really overwhelmed, and life just seemed so exhausting. I ended up going to a facility for a couple months because I was having a lot of thoughts about not being here anymore.”
Gabriel rested a hand on the kid’s shoulder now, too. “Death is never the answer. It is a permanent solution, and no problems on the mortal plane are permanent. All things change and pass. There is always hope as long as there is life.”
“I know,” the kid mumbled. “I just… I can feel myself slipping into that dark place again, you know? The place where nothing feels worth it. I can’t go back there. I have to do something.”
“Of course you do. There are always ways to seek help,” Gabriel responded.
Levi felt awful for the kid, and he wanted to help. Plus, they did still have the message to deal with.
“What are you going to do?” Levi asked, because it sounded from the message like the kid already had an idea.
“I’m gonna break up with Skye,” he answered, and another tear slipped down his cheek.
He didn’t bother wiping it away this time.
“I just… I don’t have time. I can’t hang out that much, and I feel awful whenever I let anybody down.
I just want everyone to be happy, and I can’t make them happy.
I can’t deal with the pressure of trying to make them happy. ”
“Do you love them?” Levi asked.
“Well, yeah, but I just don’t think I can deal with a relationship right now. It’s all too much.” Devon sniffed again, wiping his face with his sleeve.
“Have you, you know… talked to them?” Levi asked.
“No. I was gonna call now and do it. Or maybe just send a text. I know that’s total shit, but I’m not sure I can do it otherwise. I can’t deal with tears. I can’t deal with the emotions.”
“Well, you shouldn‘t break up. You’re not unhappy because of Skye. You still love them. You just said that!” Gabriel insisted. “Why would you think of breaking up?”
The kid shrugged. “I need money to pay my tuition, so I need a job. I have to take chemistry. I have to get my school work done. Something has to give, and nothing else in my life can.”
Gabriel looked perplexed, and Levi took the kid’s face in his hand and turned him to face Levi.
“Why are you dating Skye?” Levi asked.
Devon took a deep breath. “Well… we have a lot in common. We’ve both struggled with our mental health, and we kind of bonded over that.
Skye is really smart—probably smarter than me.
But I don’t ever feel stupid when we’re together.
We take naps together sometimes, and it’s so…
comfortable. And we laugh a lot together.
” He smiled, looking at his phone. “We’ll save up funny reels to watch together and laugh about.
” The boy’s face crumbled again a moment later.
“But we haven’t seen each other in a week and a half, and I need to study this weekend, and I… I don’t know what else to do.”
Gabriel smacked the kid on the back of the head (Levi could tell it was light, and the kid was more surprised than anything else). Levi was totally shocked, and he thought his mouth was hanging open.
Gabriel immediately blushed, but he soldiered on.
“You’re not thinking clearly. Which is ok, because you’re overwhelmed.
But you’re telling us you’re sad and overwhelmed, and here’s the person who makes you happy, who makes you laugh, and who you love.
Do you know how valuable love is? How important it is to be happy?
And I don’t mean lust or the crazy love at the start of a relationship—I mean being able to laugh with someone over silly ‘movies,’ or whatever it is you watch.
I mean being comfortable with someone, just being able to be together and enjoy the moment.
You have something amazing. Why would you throw it away? ”
Levi still had his mouth open. It was like Gabriel had pulled his ideas from earlier right out of his head. Was it possible that the angel felt the same way Levi did?
“But…” the kid started.
Gabriel didn’t let him continue. “You need to think about this. You’re changing the only thing you feel like you can change, and I’m sure being in a relationship is stressful, but won’t your partner help you?
Bend with you? Be flexible? Especially if you actually have a conversation?
Breaking up won’t fix getting a job or chemistry or all the other obligations in your life.
Isolating yourself will only make everything worse, not better.
Humans need other humans. Everyone needs companionship and love. ”
“Hey, maybe Skye can help with chemistry!” Levi said, the idea coming to him. Gabriel and Devon both looked at him, like it wasn’t a good idea, which it totally was.
He did suppose it was a little off the point about the importance of love, though.
“And, yeah, also, all that stuff he said,” Levi added. “Don’t break up. Have an honest conversation and see if Skye has any suggestions on how to help you through this. You guys love each other, and you can talk it out.”
The kid looked at his phone, and Levi noticed that the screensaver was a picture of the two of them together. They were laughing, wearing funny hats in a store, and they looked in love. It was adorable.
“Yeah, ok.” Devon sighed. “I guess I need to call my psychiatrist, too, because obviously the new meds aren’t working.
I don’t really feel any better, and now I’m having hallucinations, too,” he said, looking up at Levi and Gabriel.
“At least you guys are pretty rational hallucinations. You gonna stick around for the phone call to Skye?”
“Nah,” Levi answered. “I think you got this. You guys are in love. You’ll figure it out. Together.”
Levi and Gabriel both stood up, and as the guy hit a button on his phone, Gabriel opened his wings and enfolded them. Levi heard, “Very cool hallucinations, at least,” before they were transported out of the college dorm room.
Well, at least they were deemed very cool by a college student. There were worse things to be called when you were a few millennia old.