Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The banging on my room door scared the shit out of me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was the police serving a warrant. Two more hard bangs and I rushed to the door.
“Hold the fuck on! I’m coming!” It’s probably one of the guys coming to tell me to hurry the hell up.
I flung open the door, but before I could slam it shut, Mr. Smith’s hands were on either side of my face, and his lips crashed into mine.
The door slammed, and he turned me, pushing my back against the door without breaking our kiss.
He growled as he ripped his lips away but didn’t let go of the sides of my head, touching his forehead to mine.
“I don’t let pussy dictate my moves, but for the life of me, I can’t get enough of yours.”
He ripped open my blouse, and the buttons flew everywhere.
I didn’t care. His crude words should have made me turn my nose up at him.
They were not what you would say to a woman, let alone an employee, but my body liked it.
His words shot right to my clit, making it throb and my panties slick with my juices.
To think a former naval officer from North Carolina had power over a man like Steven Smith was heady as hell, and I would milk it for all it was worth.
Today he was hella sexy in his button-down dress shirt and slacks, instead of a suit and tie.
I fiddled with the buttons, trying to reach his skin while he peppered kisses down my jawline and neck.
His lips on the sensitive part of my neck had my breathing coming in quick succession.
I’d never wanted a man as much as I wanted him.
With the last button undone, I reached down, snatching his shirt out of his pants. I gently pushed him back, giving him room to wriggle out of the shirt. My eyes followed his movements. I didn’t get the chance last night to admire him, but today, I would get an eyeful.
He was built like a tank. Muscular chest with a smattering of hair on his torso that led down like a map leading to treasure. My treasure for right now, and I was going for the gold.
Steven closed the gap. There was no hesitation on my part. I wanted to touch his skin, run my hands up and down his wide, powerful back. I wanted to reach my prize, following that trail of hair. He didn’t recoil when I touched him, letting me get my fill.
“We only have forty-five minutes,” he declared, voice heavy with lust, helping me undo his belt and pull down his pants along with his underwear.
“There will be time to explore later.” Fully erect, he pushed my skirt up around my hips, then dragged me away from the door, putting his hands under my ass and lifting me. “Put your legs around me,” he ordered.
There was no asking. Everything was demanded or commanded. I never thought being bossed around appealed to me. I’d taken orders for twelve years and never once thought it was a turn-on, but I readily obeyed his commands, anticipating the pleasure to follow.
A rip sounded through the room, then he impaled me. There was no getting me ready. No giving me time to adjust to his girth. Steven lifted my ass off his dick and dropped me back down. The pain radiated through me, followed by pleasure so intense I was already on the edge of release.
I’d never experienced sex suspended in the air.
The sensation was unfamiliar. The angle was different.
Steven bent his knees slightly, then thrust upward.
Tingling covered my body from the top of my head as he lunged from the bottom again.
His grunts echoed throughout the room, intertwining with my moans of ecstasy as he worked us both to release.
His lips devoured mine, swallowing my pleas for more as he reached between us, circling my clit, sending shockwaves through me.
I hooked my arms around his neck, giving me leverage to bounce on his shaft.
His steady rhythm and ministrations to my clit drove me over the edge.
“Ahhhhh…” I screamed.
He gripped my ass harder, digging his fingertips into my flesh. His dick working in and out of me like a piston while I held on until he roared his release.
Steven walked with me to the door of my room, then gently pulled out, letting my legs down slowly to the floor. This wasn’t as gentle as last night. This coupling was full of anger and frustration.
It wouldn’t happen again.
I regained my breath, then wandered back toward the door, gathering our clothes. He glanced at his watch.
“I’ll meet you in the hallway in twenty minutes.”
I nodded, not bothering to see if he left as I entered my bedroom.
The plane ride to Chicago was filled with silent awkwardness.
Everything went back to the way it was before Mr. Smith and I fucked.
I didn’t know how I felt about it. Sex for me was never a means to get a release but emotional.
It had always been wrapped up in feelings.
This was no different even though the emotions were on the other end of the spectrum.
Rage, anger, dislike were all things I felt about his sexy ass.
I’d caught myself eyeing him a few times as he moved around the plane talking on the phone.
I heard a few clipped words with the detectives in California about Derrick Collins admitting he hired someone to kill Mr. Smith.
The entire time, Dennis eyed me. I faced him.
“What?” I asked, irritated.
He shook his head in disappointment like he knew about Mr. Smith and me.
“Don’t do it, Tish,” he said. “I’m telling you, he’s bad news.”
I folded my arms across my chest and glared. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and what I do is none of your business.”
We were sitting at the bar away from everyone. Normally, I didn’t drink on the job, but the events of the past few days had taken a toll on me. I needed alcohol to get me past wanting to climb his delicious body.
“You can fool yourself, but you’re fooling no one else,” he said, getting off the stool and walking to the seating area of the plane.
I watched him go, scanning the other guys on my team as I did.
Did they feel the same way as Dennis? Did they discuss me behind my back?
These guys meant everything to me. They were the only reason I took this fucking job to begin with.
It was the opportunity of a lifetime. One I was fucking up in the most epic way possible by having relations with my employer.
I assured myself Dennis would not worry about me any longer.
I had no plans of having sex with Mr. Smith again, and I wasn’t losing my heart to him.
THE PRESENT
“Tisha. Wake up?”
I heard my name being called, but I couldn’t get away from Tristan. He was dragging me across the floor, and I tried with everything in me to get away from him.
“Tisha!” The familiar voice got closer and clearer as I continued to fight for my life. I felt my body being pulled, then crashing into a solid wall of muscle. “It’s okay,” he said, while rubbing the back of my head.
I pried my eyes open and pushed myself away from whoever held me as I tried to make sense of what was happening.
“What?” I asked.
“Tisha, you were dreaming again.”
I faced him; the familiar tenor ran through my body. “What happened?” I asked.
Steven eyed me. This wasn’t the first time he awakened me from a nightmare.
I’d lost count the number of times he’d wiped my tears or rocked me until my breathing steadied.
A gentle gesture for a man who wouldn’t commit, not that I wanted him to.
I wasn’t willing to be in a relationship with him, either.
Fucking Tristan.
He ruined me for every man I’d ever had feelings for.
I didn’t know how in the hell I was still wrapped up in Steven’s arms every other night four years after I declared I wouldn’t get into a relationship with him.
Well…not a relationship. He still attended dinners, balls, and charity events with other women.
And sometimes I went. He never invited a woman back to his bed.
A part of me wanted to take credit for it, that he was doing it out of respect for me.
I was the only woman he allowed between the sheets.
But it still didn’t make me feel any better when he took them with him, though.
Climbing out of his embrace, I refused to make eye contact with him.
It was the same every time I awakened in his arms after fighting Tristan in my dreams. Steven would bombard me with questions while I deflected or did not answer.
I suspected a long time ago he knew what happened between Tristan and me since that first night together.
He had too many connections not to know something.
I was tired of the dance. I pushed myself off the bed and gathered my clothes. I never stayed the night when I came over, no matter how late. His rules. No overnights. That was fine with me.
I dressed, well aware of his gaze, as I moved around the room.
“What?” I asked.
I hated when he watched me like I was something he needed to study and figure out.
“I read your military file.” The admission stopped me short. How did he get my file? Much of what I had done was classified and of little importance to the job I did for him.
“How the hell did you get my file?”
He rose from his bed, walking to the other side of the room in all his naked glory to his dresser.
“I’m a very powerful man, Miss McLean.”
Oh, so now we are back to formalities.
“I have contacts in a lot of places.” Frustration swamped me, and I blew out a breath. I couldn’t believe he’d gotten access to my file. “Tristan, is why you went to therapy, then quit the Navy.”
Hearing I’d “quit” aloud and not “retired,” struck a chord with me. I was never a quitter, and I didn’t feel as if retiring was quitting, but coming from his lips, that was exactly what it sounded like.
“I didn’t quit.” The argument sounded weak to my own ears. “I retired.”
He shrugged. “And Tristan?”
Steven sat back on the edge of the bed. I didn’t want to talk about this or admit this to anyone. But for the past few years, he’d been consoling me after the endless night terrors. I owed him some sort of explanation. I flopped down in the chair.
“Tristan was a part of my team when I was with the Navy.”
“You had a relationship with him.”
It wasn’t a question but an accusation. I darted my eyes to him. Those stormy gray eyes were swirling with anger. I was confused about the reason behind it.
“No, we weren’t in a relationship. I don’t fuck the people I work with.” I let the words trail off because obviously, that wasn’t true anymore.
I sighed. “We weren’t together. I considered Tristan a brother, like all the men on my team, but Tristan wanted something more.”
I paused. I needed it to sink in that the feeling wasn’t mutual. Why I wanted him to see that, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t understand it myself.
“I thought Tristan understood. When he asked me out again, I turned him down, reiterating that he was my brother. I thought he accepted it. But he hadn’t.”
Tears welled in my eyes. I blinked furiously, willing them not to fall.
I’d not talked fully about the incident with Tristan to anyone before, not even the therapist. And although the guys knew what happened, they didn’t know details.
But I wanted him to know everything. It was like a weight was easing off my shoulders, and I hadn’t even gotten to the hard part yet.
“I’m not entirely sure what happened. I was in this abandoned house. I can still smell the mildew and mold. The piss. The animals that took root there. I smell it every time I wake up from that stupid nightmare.”
He listened intently. His eyes were like raging storms as he trained them on me.
“I was confused at first. I didn’t understand the fury on his face. Not until he started spewing the things he thought I did.”
“Like what,” he snarled, and I shivered from the vibration.
“Going out with the other guys on our team. Dancing when we all went out. Even being polite to another man by smiling in greeting, he saw as me flirting.” I shrugged. “Fucking crazy,” I muttered.
Silence filled the room while I searched for the words to describe the most traumatic part of the story.
“I fought for my life that night, but for a split second…” My words faltered from the big lump in my throat. I couldn’t swallow enough to get it down. I wiped the tears trailing down my cheeks and took a deep breath. “For a split second, I thought about giving up.”
I smoothed my hair back, continuing to wipe the tears from my face. “Something clicked in me. My training kicked in, and I fought like hell. Most of it is a blur. I don’t really remember what took place until I’m sleeping.”
His piercing gaze often locked me in a trance, reminding me of how dangerous Steven Smith was. I made no mistakes about that. He was dangerous in more ways than one.
“Where’s this bitch now?” he asked angrily.
“Locked up as far as I know.”
The fact that Tristan was punished for his crimes seemed to calm him. He blew out a breath, relieved. I didn’t know if it came from finally getting all of it out in the open, but I felt ten times better.
The silence in the room was heavy as I searched Steven’s face. I wanted him to say something—do something. I’d bared my deepest, darkest secret to my boss, but also the man I’d been sleeping with for the better part of four years now, right under the nose of everyone I loved.
I stood abruptly. It was obvious he wasn’t going to wrap me in his embrace and tell me he was sorry for what happened to me.
Did I want him to?
Yes, I wanted him to. I wanted him to act like a boyfriend, a lover who cared about me. But I should’ve known better. I wouldn’t get that from him. That wasn’t who he was.
“I’ll see you in a few hours,” I called over my shoulder, making my way out of the room, then downstairs.