Chapter 21
Sadie
Iremembered to let go of Jamison’s hand seconds before we came into view of the library.
He kept biting his lips between his teeth as if he were trying not to smile, which was somehow even more enticing than when he actually smiled.
There was an extra bounce in my step like I’d been filled with helium.
Everything was lighter. My arms wanted to float up toward the sun.
My toes barely touched the concrete. It all originated from the lift in my chest, the bright, incandescent heat emanating from inside my ribcage.
He swung the door to the library open where both of our families had gathered and waited for me to step through.
“Thank you,” I murmured, enjoying the little flutter in the pit of my stomach.
Following a bit too close, I felt his presence wrap around me without him touching me at all.
At the other end of the library, June and Mike stood with the officiant, a petite woman with gray hair and thick-rimmed black glasses on her nose.
The massive desk was roped off behind them, and through the windows the sun cast bright rectangles on the floor.
June turned her head at the sound of the door sealing shut.
Raising an eyebrow, she mouthed, You’re late.
I mouthed back, I know.
With the jerk of her head, she indicated that I should take my spot just behind her.
I caught the pinch of Mike’s eyebrows toward Jamison and his mimed, Sorry.
The officiant gave us both a polite little smile, but didn’t stop in her overview of the wedding ceremony that would take place the following day. I wasn’t paying much attention. I was too distracted by the way Jamison kept looking at me and then away as if he couldn’t control his eyes.
“Why do you smell like flowers?” Mike asked his brother.
For a moment, my stomach dropped and my eyes went wide, but Jamison didn’t flinch. “We just delivered them from the florist, you bloodhound.”
“Oh, right.”
June’s shoulders bunched under the lace of her dress, and she peeked at me from the corner of her eye.
I gave her a little smile, but it was clear that she was irritated.
It was a bit unreasonable. It wasn’t like we were practicing the proper protocol for a nuclear reactor or something.
It was a wedding. Everyone pretty much knew what to do.
But then, she had to be a little nervous considering how immense this event was in her life.
And she was probably already a little annoyed that I hadn’t been here on time.
It would be okay. I would be the vision of punctuality tomorrow.
“You’ll have the rings?” the officiant asked Jamison.
He jerked his head in one certain nod.
“Remind me to give them to you in the morning,” Mike said.
“I will.”
If anyone could read my thoughts at that moment I would have been so embarrassed, because finding his reliability sexy was a bit much.
“Fantastic.” She grinned down at June and Mike. “I will pronounce you man and wife, you’ll kiss and then on to the party. Easy peesy.”
They thanked her. We all shook her hand, and she promised to see us all the following day as she waved goodbye. Jamison and I greeted the parents. His mom, Sally, gave me a big hug with tears clinging to her lower eyelid. “Isn’t this exciting, Sarah?”
“Sadie, Mom,” he corrected.
I hugged her back. “It’s okay, you’ll get it eventually.”
“I will, my dear. I promise.”
***
Sally and her brother-in-law, Derrik’s dad, had rented a tent on the beach for the rehearsal dinner.
The resort had set up a long table with a white tablecloth and wooden folding chairs for us to eat the pizzas being served.
It was one of the biggest tents, but we still had to squeeze in a bit to make room for our whole party under the red-and-white striped canvas.
Jamison kept using it as an excuse to brush his arm or shoulder against me, shooting a shower of electricity through my body every time.
June laughed and joked around with the couple of friends that had traveled to celebrate with her and Mike, but she wouldn’t really look at me and only gave brief responses when I tried to talk to her.
Clearly she was pretty upset with me for being late. I wanted to feel defensive, but I mostly felt bad. I hadn’t realized how frazzled her nerves were or that Jamison and I had taken so much time fucking around.
I didn’t want to add to her stress.
A little reassurance on my part that I was locked in from here on out, and I was certain that we’d be cool again.
Everyone was on their second or third beverage and slice when Jamison and Mike’s uncle stood. He was a large man in his late sixties with a head of gray hair, and brown eyes like Jamison’s. “Hello everyone, I’m Bill. Michael asked me to say a few words about his dad, my brother, Gene.”
My ears stopped working for just a moment at hearing their dad’s name.
Instead, I remembered two days ago, when I took every opportunity to snarl the name at Jamison.
Every time I sensed the way it jabbed him, and every time I enjoyed it.
No wonder he hadn’t liked me saying it. No wonder it was such a soft spot.
From his place next to me, he must have inferred the direction of my thoughts. Under the table, he placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed. He whispered a barely audible, “It’s okay,” in my ear.
But it didn’t feel okay. It felt incredibly fucking mean.
I added it to the list of apologies I’d have to make as soon as dinner was over.
“Gene was,” their uncle went on, “so proud of you boys. But for those of you who didn’t have the honor of knowing this kid when he was little, Mike had a wild streak.
If there was something high to jump off of, he was gonna do it.
Scared your dad out of his mind. He’d always say, ‘That one is fearless.’ You still are. And that’s how you love June.”
His jaw clenched tight. “Your dad might not be here. But I promise you, son”—Mike swallowed hard, his cheeks reddening, and June looked at him with the sweetest admiration—”he is so proud.”
With a bit more rasp than his voice started out with, he held up his beer. “Raise your glasses, and cheers to my brother’s youngest boy, Mike, and the beautiful bride, June. May they be as madly in love as Sally and Gene.”
Next to him, Sally took a sip of her wine while attempting to discreetly wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“To Mike and June,” everyone chorused before lifting their glasses to their lips.
General murmurs started up within the group, enough that I could quietly ask Jamison, “Are you okay?”
He nodded, but there was a heavy weight behind his eyes that was too deep for me to help him carry. Maybe someday he’d share it with me.