16. Like fuel to the fire.
Like fuel to the fire.
HARLOW
M y heart is full of wonder as we get back to the Mermaid’s Ire in the evening. I had one of the best days of my life, and even though I can’t be called an excellent swimmer yet, I can at least survive an impromptu fall into calm waters if needed.
Jayce was… perfect. He’s a good teacher, and extremely patient and kind. I lost my temper once or twice, panicking as the sea swallowed me up, but he always caught me in time. His hands were soft on my skin—too soft—and I wanted him to touch me more. To touch me harder…
The common room is full of weary travelers, but our table waits for us. My muscles are sore from the day’s excesses, and I drop onto the couch near the fireplace after eating. The nights are balmy in Mandinka, but after a day spent in the water, I don’t mind a little warmth.
Kuroki left to see Wilbur at the shipyard before dinner, and neither of them came back at nightfall. Alara, Freddy, and Gia are playing card games, and Jayce is talking with his mother.
I must have fallen asleep without realizing it, because when I come back to reality, the flames have devoured the logs in the fire. I blink, my brain full of cotton.
I have a sunburn on my face and shoulders, pulling at my skin. I’ll need to put some calendula balm on it before bed.
“Are you happy to travel with my son?” a voice says.
I start and find Jayce’s mother sitting on the chair to my right. Her dark eyes are on me, unwavering.
“Ex—excuse me?”
“My son,” she repeats. “Does he treat you well?”
We’ve only been here for three days, but I already know that Aiko is the kind of woman you can’t deceive.
She can track your lies in the shape of your mouth and eyebrows, as Kuroki joked yesterday, after she asked him if he had visited his grandmother already.
Against his better judgement, he began lying, and she kicked him in the shin.
But I don’t need to lie.
“Yes,” I say with a smile. “He’s taking great care of me.”
Jayce doesn’t owe me sex or affection, after all. If all he ever does is teach me how to swim or protect me from harm, I should be happy. I want my seduction to work, but even if it doesn’t… well… Why should I resent him for not wanting me? It hurts, but sex is not a requirement for my affection.
Aiko hums, looking at me. I wonder what she sees.
“The fire is dying,” she says. “Would you mind getting some wood, please? It’s in the shed at the back of the inn, through the back door in the kitchens.”
“Oh—of course.” I get to my feet, eager to please.
I wave self-consciously at the cooks before exiting into the night. There is a lush garden behind the inn, where the customers can lounge during the day.
And Jayce, cutting wood naked to the waist-up.
Blood rushes to my face and other body parts as I behold how magnificent Captain Jayce Hawkins is, sweat glistening on his muscles from the wavering light of the torches.
I’ve been seeing him naked all day at the beach, and yet it feels much more intimate now, as if I stumbled upon something private.
I don’t care how disgusting it might sound, but I want to lick the drop of sweat off his skin. Taste him, smell him… Fuck, I have it bad, don’t I? Gia was right; I’m getting too caught up in the game.
He cuts two more logs before noticing my presence. He lets his axe hang loosely by his leg, and watches me in the same unnerving way his mother did just moments ago, as if seeing the shy creature who lives under my bones, and not the seducer I’m trying to be.
“Harlow,” he says at last. “What are you doing here?”
“Your mother sent me to get wood for the fire.”
He chuckles. “Of course she did.”
“Am I bothering you?” I ask hesitantly.
How can I be so wired to his every move and every word, and he can be so… in control? It drives me crazy.
Jayce drops the axe and walks to me. “Bothering me? Yes, you are.”
I gape, hurt. I’m not ready for a fight, not after today. “Well, fuck—”
“I’m not done talking. Yes, you’re bothering me, Harlow Prince, because you’re entirely too enticing.
The way you talk, the way you move… everything about you is mesmerizing.
I feel like a beast in a cage, tempted by its freedom just out of reach.
” He reaches for me with his right hand, his fingers stopping before touching my chest, and he closes his fist. “You’re a member of my crew.
I’m supposed to lead and protect you, but all I want to do every damn hour of the day is bend you over the bulwark.
So, yes, Harlow. You’re bothering me in the best and worst way possible. ”
I gasp. “Oh… fuck…”
“I would love to,” he says with a wicked smile.
Really? I think. Does he really? I stare at him, at the curve of his face, his burning eyes… for a little too long.
He sighs. “Harlow… say something.”
Now is my moment to take revenge. I could just walk away from him, let him get a taste of his own medicine. This was the point of my seduction, right?
Right?
“Kiss me?” I ask instead, like a fool.
Jayce smiles. “With pleasure.”
He falls on me ravenously and captures my mouth, his calloused hands holding my face. I moan unabashedly as his tongue touches my lips, and I open up for him.
He might have given a blowjob before, but we never kissed.
It feels more special somehow than anything sexual we could have done.
His lips are a little chapped after spending the day in salt and sun, but I’ve never tasted anything as good, and pleasure zaps along my scalp and my spine before finishing its course in my cock.
His hands slide over my shoulders and down to my hips. I arch into his touch, marveling at the fact that it’s finally happening.
We kiss until I get dizzy from the lack of oxygen, and the earth feels soft under my naked feet—I left my shoes by the fireplace. And yet Jayce doesn’t let me go.
Eventually, we’re forced to pull away as two travelers staying at the inn walk into the garden for a late-night drink. Both middle-aged women are as drunk as sailors, and they giggle and whistle when they see us.
“Move along, perverts,” Jayce tells them with a smile, but they only go as far as the bench under the trees. He sighs and looks down at me. “We have an audience now.” Then he groans. “Fuck, look at you, baby. You look debauched.”
I certainly feel like it. My lips are swollen and wet from our endless kiss, and I want more, spectators be damned.
He must have read the emotions on my face, because he says, “How about continuing somewhere more private? Let’s say…
my room? I’ll go upstairs first, and you can join me on the third floor if you feel inclined.
” He brushes his lips over mine, and I shiver.
“It’s the red door at the end of the hallway. ”
He lets me go and walks away, putting his tunic back on before saluting the women and disappearing back into the inn.
I find myself alone in the middle of the garden, the wet blades of grass tickling my toes and the smell of summer rain lingering over Mandinka.
“Go get him, tiger!” one woman says, cackling.
My face reddens, but I have enough wit to remember to take some wood before going back to the common room and throwing a few logs into the fire.
Alara waves at me from the table where she’s been playing a drinking game with her husband and travelers, but Aiko walks to her, distracting her by saying something. I take my chance and rush upstairs.
My heart is fluttering in my ribcage like a bird.
What are you doing, Harlow? I ask myself as I reach our floor.
It’s quiet at this early hour; everyone is in the common room or on the streets. I climb the stairs on shaky legs. The carpeted hallway appears endless as I follow it to the red door.
I raise my hand to knock, but hesitate. Do I really want to do this?
Yes, I really do. My entire body craves Jayce’s touch, and I know it’s a problem and I’ll regret this when he eventually breaks my heart once more, but right now I can’t bring myself to care. I’ve felt the warmth of the fire, and I’d risk getting burned all over again just to feel it on my skin.
I take a deep breath and knock.
“Come in,” Jayce says from the other side of the red door.
I put my hand on the doorknob, my knuckles turning white, and push it open.
He’s waiting for me in the middle of the spacious room with an enormous bed near the open window and a tub in the corner. The balcony overlooks the mountain, and moonlight pours inside, illuminating his face and body tantalizingly.
“This is the suite for special guests,” he says, noticing my scrutiny. “My mother turned my old bedroom into an extension for the kitchen a while ago, so I borrow whatever is available when I visit. I was lucky this time around because this one was free.”
I swallow. “It’s great.”
I actually couldn’t care less about the room now that I’ve seen him standing in the middle of it. My captain.
“Close the door and come here, Harlow,” he says softly.
Against my better judgement, I obey. I walk up to him and we come face to face.
He watches me for a moment, then says, “Fuck, I can’t resist you any longer.
” And suddenly he’s all over me. We kiss again, and I melt into his embrace.
“I tried,” he whispers against my lips. “I really tried to do the right thing and not put my hands on you again, Harlow, but you make it impossible just by existing.”
I shiver and gasp. I didn’t expect my seduction to actually work; it was just wishful thinking. He always seems so in control, as if nothing can tempt him.
Jayce walks backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed, and he sits down. He looks up at me, his dark eyes reflecting the moonlight, and his hands roam over the cleavage of my kimono.
“I need your consent, Harlow, before I go further,” he says.
What? Is the erection tenting my clothes and being here not consent enough?
“Why?” I ask stupidly.
“Because you’re precious, and I want to do everything for you, and only for you. I’ll be happy no matter what you give me.”