Chapter 10
The bar was hopping. I’d sold eleven cases of wine already and was gunning for my personal record of nineteen in one shift. It helped pass the time and gave me something to accomplish. I might not make the liquid in the bottles, but I sure as hell could sell them.
I’d had a few women bat their fake lashes at me. Sure, I was flirting my ass off to get the sales, but I had no intention of taking any of these women to my place later. Not when Lainey’s lips were still lingering in my mind.
Fuck me.
I couldn’t have her, but I didn’t want anyone else. What the hell was wrong with me? My brain and my dick were not on the same page, and it was messing me up. Normally, getting a number, sleeping with a stranger, would be the best way to forget about Lainey, but every time I thought about it, I got a weird pang in my stomach.
Franc’s words held even more weight since I abandoned Lanes in Philly like some fucking coward. I panicked. Everything until that moment was perfect and the thought of her waking up, seeing me, and eventually realizing I would never be enough for her… It was for her own good. She deserved better and once the sex haze filtered away, she’d realize it too.
Leaving was the best option for both of us. I knew everyone would agree, even Sherry, if I actually answered one of her many calls. I’d been avoiding her since. I was waiting for her to storm into the tasting room and sucker punch me, but I also knew it was the one place I’d be safe. She’d never cause a scene and risk tarnishing the good family name.
“Hey there,” a sexy voice drifted into my ears. My lip quirked of its own accord, and I glanced up at the brunette with a body that would have once revved all my engines, but now lacked all the curves I craved.
“How can I help you?” I asked. She had already ordered a glass of pinot from me earlier and had flirted before meeting up with her group.
She bit her lip, her teeth tugging at the plumpness. “Another pinot, please.” She slid her empty glass across the counter, bending to reveal an impressive line of cleavage. Not as impressive as Lainey’s, though…
I disposed of the old glass and grabbed a clean one, giving a generous pour before handing it off to her. She took the glass in her hand but didn’t leave. She stood, grounded in place, staring as if she was waiting for me to speak.
I had nothing to say. I had already sold someone else in her party a case of wine, and though I had tried with her, she told me as a single woman she couldn’t possibly drink an entire case. I wanted to introduce her to Chardonnay, who could polish off a case in less than three weeks, though she’d most likely deny it.
“Having fun?” I asked, attempting to keep the conversation as general as possible.
“A blast. This place is a real gem. We’re already making plans to come back in the winter to hit the slopes and come in for another tasting. Someone told us you change up the menu.”
“We have seasonal wines. In the winter, we’ll have a few new merlots on the menu and a new cabernet Sauvignon.”
“I’m not really a fan of reds.”
“I’ve served a lot of wine in my life, and I’ve discovered a clear pattern. Most start with blushes, then move on to pinot grigio and chardonnay, and from their Sauvignon Blanc and Reisling. Some never move on from there, but others then take the step to red. Even people who swore they would never drink red.”
“I guess I’m a newb, still drinking pinot grigio.”
“It’s a fantastic wine that goes with many foods. Nothing wrong with sticking with it.”
“What about you? What’s your favorite?” She leaned closer to the bar, moving her arms together.
“I like a complex wine. One that doesn’t have one note but evolves as it sits on your palette. All of our wines are complex, but my favorite is Cabernet Sauvignon. It has flavors of blackberries, dark chocolate, and oak.”
“Sounds delicious.” She licked her lips, and I diverted my attention to the max capacity sign behind her on the wall.
“It is. You can always buy a bottle, and when you move along in your wine journey, pop it open to celebrate.”
She tapped a red fingernail against her lip. “I’ll think about it.” With a wink, she spun away and headed to her friends.
“You can stop staring at her ass now.” Lainey’s voice jolted me, and I fumbled the bottle of wine in my hand. I managed to secure it before I was surrounded by broken shards and a pool of red.
“Jesus, Lainey. Where the hell did you come from?” I asked, taking a deep breath and calming my already frazzled nerves.
I met her gaze, a million words on the tip of my tongue.
“I’ve been standing here for that entire intriguing conversation, but you were too focused on the boobs to notice me.”
“I wasn’t.” And for the first time, I actually meant it. The only boobs I wanted to stare at were the ones currently in front of me, revealed by the slight dip of her v-neck. But I didn’t need to see beneath the material. I remembered every detail. The pale pink nipple that beaded beneath my touch. The freckle on the left underside. The way they tasted of silky sweet lemon.
“Why not? They were nice. I was even looking.”
Too lost in my memories, I’d almost forgotten the conversation that sent me spiraling down memory lane. I couldn’t give two shits about anyone’s tits. All I cared about was Lainey, and in my moment of weakness, I destroyed everything.
“Lanes,” I said, wanting to say so much more, but not knowing where to start.
She held her hand up. “I just need a couple of bottles, and then I’ll be on my way.”
She had every right to hate me. I would accept it. Lay myself down on the floor so she could stomp all over me. But there was no anger there. No. It was much worse than that. It was indifference. And that… that hurt more.
“Look, about—”
“The wine,” she said, cutting me off. “It’s the only reason I’m here, and I’m in a bit of a hurry, so if you can ring me up, I’ll be on my way.”
“You know damn well I’m not charging you.”
“Fine, then I’ll wait for Chris to be done with his customer and have him ring me up.”
Oh, hell no. She was not going to go over me to one of my employees. How the heck did she even know his name? He’d only worked here for two weeks. When did she meet him? He wasn’t from around here. A drifter who moved to the area in his remodeled school bus.
“Can you help me or not?” She held out her debit card. Eyes darted to the ceiling, obviously avoiding contact with me.
I snatched the card out of her hand. I could cancel the charge later. There was no way in hell I was going to let her talk to Mr. Bus Man with his laid back, too cool for school vibe. Ironic since he literally lived in a bus.
“How many bottles?”
“Four. Three Sauvignon Blancs and a Pinot Noir.”
She always indulged in a glass here at the tasting room, but usually only bought a single bottle on occasion. When she bought multiples, it was for her cakes. “I didn’t know you used Sauvignon Blanc for your cake. Is it a new recipe?”
“No, those are for me.”
This time, she didn’t look away. She met my gaze head on. It was as if she was challenging me, waiting for me to question why she needed three bottles for herself. I didn’t need to ask what happened. I happened. Not only was I not good enough for her, now I was driving her to drink by the bottle.
I charged her card and, clenching my jaw, grabbed the four bottles and placed them on the bar.
Hand out, she pursed her lips and quirked an eyebrow. “My card please.”
I held it out, and she snatched it, putting it into her small card wallet. She went to retrieve the bottles, but I beat her to it.
“I got it,” I said, gathering the bottles into my grasp and rounding the bar.
“I can handle it.”
“Never said you couldn’t,” I all but growled as I stormed off toward the door. “Chris, I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time, man.”
Lainey hurried to my side. “I don’t need you to carry those.”
“Too bad.”
“Fine, you want to carry them, be my guest.” She couldn’t keep up with my long strides and stopped trying. I was out the door but stopped to hold it for her. Gramps taught me better than that, and I imagined him rising from the dead to reprimand me for being disrespectful if I didn’t.
She passed. “Thank you.”
I closed my eyes and bit back the sarcastic reply before following her.
“It’s starting to get a little chilly, which means fall is just around the corner. I’m looking forward to all the fall flavors. I’ll have to stop by Albert’s farm stand and see when he’ll be harvesting his sweet potatoes. It should be soon.”
The sound of her doors unlocking echoed around us, and I chanced a glance at her. She smiled, and all the frustration that was brewing beneath the surface exploded out of me. “Are you going to act like nothing happened?”
“Isn’t that what you want?” Her eyes met mine in what felt like a dare to deny it. “You’re the one who left. Not me.”
“I left a note.”
She scoffed. “How noble of you. A fucking note, Nero. Seriously?” She stepped toward me, poking a finger into my chest. “Tell me. How many other notes have you written? How many women have you left naked and alone with a sorry I had to bounce note?”
With each word, she poked harder into my chest. She didn’t need to break through skin and bones to do damage to my heart. The look on her face damn well destroyed it.
“Only you,” I admitted.
“Excuse me?” Her head snapped up, blue eyes that were always full of joy and happiness were dulled. I did that. I drained her of the one thing that made her Lainey. Her gaze bore into mine, lip twitched, the darkened storm brewing in her irises slowly transitioned back to that bright, hopeful stare I loved so much.
“I’ve never left a note before. But I couldn’t leave without saying something.”
“You could have woken me up. Could have said it to my face.”
I opened her car door and placed the bottles on the backseat, freeing my hands. I slammed the door and faced her now. “I couldn’t.”
“Why not?”
My teeth dug into my cheek, jaw clenched tight. She had to know. There was no way she was blind to what everyone else already knew. She was too good for me. I could never be the man she needed me to be. She deserved the world, and all I had to offer was a man who didn’t know how to do anything but run.
“I just… I couldn’t.”
She shoved me once. Twice. Tears welled in her dimmed blue eyes. “You’re a coward.”
I was.
“If I was a fuck and dump just like all your other conquests, at least treat me the same. The note made it worse. Whether it was special to you or not, it doesn’t matter. It was special to me, and you cheapened it by leaving a fucking note.”
Every muscle in my body constricted. Anger at the situation, at those damn tears in her eyes, consumed me. I bit back the fury that was building, pushed it deep down, and stepped toward her, resisting the urge to take her face in my hands. “You weren’t a fuck and dump.”
A laugh burst from her lips. “I believe when you fuck someone and then leave, that’s exactly what it is. Unless you have a different definition.”
“It had nothing to do with you.”
“Oh, that’s rich. You’re going to pull the, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. Spare me.” She spun away, flinging her driver’s door open, then hesitated before turning back to me. “I’ve always defended you because I know deep down, you’re a good person. That if you just believed in yourself, you could love someone with your whole heart. I was never dumb enough to think that would be me. I know I’m not your type. But for a single moment, when you looked into my eyes, I swear I saw your heart. Your soul. The breaking down of the wall that you have been hiding behind for too damn long. And even if you couldn’t love me, maybe, just maybe, I could be the one to open you up to love because I want you to be happy. But then you left me with a fucking note, and I realized you will never be happy. Your walls are too strong. I tried to break them down and, in the end, all I did was break my own heart. So please, do me a favor, and stop whatever it is you’re trying to do right now and move on with your life. Because that’s what I’m doing. Go take that brunette home for all I care.”
She slipped into her car and reached for the handle. Her eyes met mine for one final glance. “Goodbye Nero.”