Chapter 6
SAM
I knew he’d go there eventually. He was human, and humans were curious, so I’d prepared for it.
My cousin Dalton came over early this morning before the sun’s first ray of light.
He’d asked some questions—Who was it this time?
What did they do to deserve it?—and I’d waved them off.
He’d learned when not to push, so he’d packed up the trunk of his old Ford with the bags of body parts and driven back to his farm outside of New Gothenburg where he’d then feed them to his pigs.
They didn’t eat hair and teeth, though, so he buried those parts in an old field way at the back of his farm.
Dalton was good like that. He had my back just like I had his.
I nudged Ezra to a seat at my dining table and shoved him into it. Kneeling in front of him, I patted his knee before writing down my thoughts.
You don’t need to know where they are.
“Maybe I do,” he said defiantly, raising his chin and staring at me with those vibrant hazel eyes. He looked beautiful this morning. The bruises had darkened even more in the short time I’d been at work and it made my blood boil. If I could kill those college bullies again, I would.
Ezra was still gorgeous, though, as well as young. Innocent. He had no idea what he was asking. At thirty-six, I’d seen the worst of the world in ways he didn’t understand, even though he’d lived on the streets.
I pointed at him, then my mouth and pretended to chew as a sign of food, asking him if he’d eaten.
“Nice change of topic.” He snorted and leaned closer. “Yes.”
“Good,” I mouthed, then rose and slid off my jacket. I couldn’t help but notice the clothes he had on, too, because they looked far too big on him with my shirt baggy on his slim body. The pants weren’t much better.
We need to get you new clothes.
He scratched the back of his head and chuckled. “Maybe I should’ve looked when I went shopping. Oh. Here’s your card.” He dug in the pocket of my favorite black leather coat hanging over the back of the chair next to him and held out my credit card to me.
I shook my head. “Keep it.”
He frowned down at the card, then back at me. “What?”
I grinned and shook my head.
Keep it. Use it when you need to buy something.
“Are you insane or far too rich for your own good?”
Possibly insane.
“Ah, that would explain it.” Ezra laughed.
His entire face lit up, eyes brightening.
The sound of his laughter gave me a funny feeling in my chest. I couldn’t rationalize it and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.
“Oh, by the way, did you tell your neighbor that I’m your boyfriend?
Some lady named Annabella came over and was having a whole thing about how I’m Samael’s boyfriend and how she thought you were too good to be true. Said we should have dinner one night.”
I blew out a breath and pressed my fingers into my temples.
I shouldn’t be surprised that Eleanor ran to Annabella.
They’d been friends since before I moved into this house, and they were worse than ten old ladies put together.
Their gossip rampaged like wildfire. They’d taken an interest in me from the moment my moving truck had shown up.
I had to come up with an excuse why you’re here.
Ezra stared at the notepad for a moment, lips downturned in thought, then finally after a long minute, he nodded. “Makes sense. You could’ve just told them I was a relative.”
Two birds, one stone.
He grinned in amusement at me. “Because you’re the bachelor of the neighborhood?”
I snorted. “Yes.”
He shook his head and stood.
“So, here we are.” Ezra shifted his weight between his feet, standing so close I felt his hot breath on my neck. He ducked his head and sighed. “Guess I should probably ask the question.”
I frowned at him, even though I knew he wouldn’t see it with his gaze on the floor. Hooking my finger under his chin, I raised his head. “What?”
“How long before you throw me back on the streets? I just want to know so I can prepare. I kind of enjoy the food and heat.” He stared at me in a way that shouted vulnerable, but his jaw also tightened, as though he was trying to act strong.
My heart ached for him. I never knew what it was like to be homeless, and I’d been lucky that I had an aunt after “the incident” as I called it.
She’d taken me in and raised me with Dalton.
I wanted to tell him never, but he wouldn’t believe me. People who’d been through what he had didn’t trust words, only actions. I’d seen it when I’d tried to give a homeless man a blanket once. He’d asked what I wanted in return and proceeded to keep asking.
Ezra thought he was a closed book, but his soul had been split open for me to see. I saw myself in him.
You’re not going anywhere. I’m guessing you’re in your twenties but how old are you?
He gripped the notepad in his hand so tightly it nearly folded between his fingers. “Um. Twenty-four, still, I think. What’s the date?” He examined the magnetized dog calendar on the fridge. “22nd of November, right? I think I saw it on the receipt from the store.”
I nodded.
“So, I’m twenty-five in six days.” He touched his bruised cheek and winced. It seemed like an automatic move to distract himself. “I don’t really celebrate my birthday anymore.”
We should change that. Your b’day is on Thanksgiving this year. We should celebrate both.
He half snorted, half laughed and stared at me with enough misery to make me inhale sharply. “Thanksgiving is fake. Just like Christmas and those families that pretend to love each other, but all they want to do is make other people jealous. They aren’t real.”
I grabbed his fingers and shifted them away from his bruise. “I agree,” I mouthed.
“You do?” He leaned a little closer, his lips inches from mine, and I did the only thing my frightened mind thought up, I stepped away from him. Ignoring the disappointed look he sent me, I snatched up my notepad.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t eat a good meal. Turkey!
I showed him my scribbled words. At first, he just stared at me until I thought I’d spontaneously combust, and then his attention dropped to what I’d written.
“Yeah.” Ezra took a few steps back and sighed. “Mind if I take another shower? I still feel disgusting and I missed it. A lot.”
I shook my head, then gestured to the stairs. He gave me a small smile before he walked past me. I watched him go, unable to take my eyes off his tense back. He didn’t glance at me like I’d expected.
The sound of water running through the pipes made me sigh. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I grabbed my phone and texted Dalton.
Sam
How do you talk to someone?
A minute later, Dalton responded.
Dalton
Is this a trick question?
Sam
No.
I hit Send, then hesitated. How else could I explain it to my cousin?
Dalton was normal. Sure, he fed my kills to the pigs, but he’d never had a problem talking to women.
If anything, his charm won them over every time.
I’d always been different. Quiet. I never knew how to talk to anyone other than my family.
Dalton
Usually words help like hello sir how r u?
I rolled my eyes and ignored his snarky response. The urge to twitch at his lack of grammar swept through me. He was only doing it to irritate me.
Sam
I might like someone.
The phone buzzed and I stared down at the screen.
Dalton was asking for a video call. I settled the phone against the flower vase in the center of the table and sat down, hitting Accept on the call.
Dalton’s handsome face showed up on my phone, his blond hair cut shorter than it had been this morning.
“All right. Spill. Who is it?”
I glanced at the hallway for a brief moment and signed, “Can we sign this conversation?”
“Is she there?” Dalton laughed, his voice deep. He carded his fingers through his blond strands before he signed, “Who is she?”
“Remember the guys I had you deal with? They were hurting him.” I spelled out the word him in ASL to make a point. I wanted Dalton to know that the person I liked was a man. “He was homeless and they were hitting him and I helped.”
“Him?” Dalton signed. He leaned closer to his camera, baby blue eyes wide. “Is there something you want to tell me?”
“I don’t know!” My hand gestures quickened. Confusion had my nerve endings buzzing and my gut twisting, panic building in my chest. I dropped my head in my hands.
“Samael, you know me and Mom will love you no matter what, right?” he said aloud.
I didn’t look at him for a moment. I raised my head and signed, “I know.”
“If you’re trying to tell me you’re gay or bi or something else, I don’t care,” he signed.
I snorted and grinned at him. “Of course you don’t. If you’re all right with me killing people, pretty sure you’ll be fine with me being bi.” The words flew from my fingers.
“Is that what you are?” Dalton’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are you bi?” he signed.
I stared down at my hands and picked at one of my fingernails. Bisexual. It was the first time I’d thought about the word in depth and I hadn’t really considered it. Was I bisexual or gay? Women hadn’t done anything for me, but before Ezra, neither had men. “I don’t know.”
It was easier for Dalton. He had the classic appeal, with blond hair, blue eyes, and a cleft in his chin. His farm boy looks had people running toward him. My quietness kept them away from me. I’d even had a girl tell me I had a serial killer vibe before, but that was before I’d murdered anyone.
Dalton’s hands moved. “Tell me about this guy then. Where is he?”
“Shower. His name is Ezra. I don’t know his story, but he’s—” I hesitated. How did I explain him in a way Dalton would understand? Ezra was a lot of things. “—unique. He saw me kill them, and he wants to know more about my hobby.”
Dalton frowned at me, hands moving a mile a minute. “Be careful. We’re family, and I’ll always have your back, but you can’t trust strangers.”
I sent him a blank stare.
“I’m serious,” he said aloud, frowning. “What if he calls the cops?”
“I won’t.” Ezra’s voice startled me.
I jumped to my feet, bumping the table and dislodging my phone from its standing position as I did.
Ezra smiled at me as he shifted closer, my pajama pants sitting low on his skinny hips.
They were way too big on him but stayed on his waist, much to my surprise.
He grabbed the phone and stared at the screen.
“I’m Ezra and I’m not gonna run to the cops. ”
Dalton pressed his lips in a tight line. “How can we trust you?”
“Because I haven’t yet. Who are you anyway?” He shot me a narrow-eyed glare and it surprised me into taking a step back. “Is this your boyfriend?”
“Why? You jealous?” Dalton cackled. “I’m Samael’s cousin, so don’t get your boxers in a twist. I’m Dalton.”
“I wasn’t,” Ezra said low, turning his glare on my cousin. “Samael saved my life.”
“Good. Remember that.” Dalton grinned at me over Ezra’s shoulder. His hands moved fast. “I like him. He’s got fire.”
“I know,” I signed.
Ezra frowned between us, and I smiled reassuringly at him.
“Do I want to know what you just said?” he asked.
I laughed and shook my head.
“I’ll talk to you later, Sam. Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t.” Dalton singsonged the last part before he saluted Ezra. “Nice to meet you. You hurt my cousin, he’ll be the least of your worries. Adios.”
The video call ended, leaving us in an uncomfortable silence. I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I wasn’t sure how to explain what had happened to Ezra. The simple fact was that he’d caught me talking about him.
I grabbed my notepad.
It’s only five. Why are you wearing sleepwear?
He looked down at his naked chest and touched his stomach. My gaze followed the way his hand trailed up his belly and over his nipples. “It’s comfortable. Do you care?”
I didn’t, but a possessive part of me liked that he felt comfortable enough to wear pajamas at this time of the day.
You should sleep. You must be tired.
“Do you work tomorrow?” Ezra stared at me with those soulful eyes, and I felt a shudder deep inside myself. I had a feeling I would say yes to anything he asked me to do.
“No. Weekend.”
“I forgot about that.” He laughed quietly, but he didn’t sound very amused. “Days blend when you’re on the streets. I should know, though, because weekends are when the cash flows. People suddenly feel a little more generous when they hand you money.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered lightly at the same time as I made a fist and rubbed it in a circle on my chest, using the sign, too.
He stared down at the floor when he said, “Why? Because you live in a nice home and you got a good job? Nah. As much as I act bitter about it, I’m a realist. We can all end up on the street in one way or another.
It’s about luck. You obviously have some kind of support with your cousin.
I had nothing. The rest of my family stopped caring.
Just how life rolls.” Ezra’s lips twisted, like he’d realized he’d said too much. “I really do sound hostile, huh?”
No, he didn’t. He sounded angry with the world that had let him fall through the cracks, and I didn’t blame him. I made a gesture like scooping a spoon in my mouth. “Hungry?” I mouthed.
His belly chose that moment to growl and his cheeks flushed. “Yeah, think I am.”
We both laughed.