Chapter 11
EZRA
December came with chaos. Lucy demanded we get a Christmas tree, and while Sam tried to protest, Lucy told us everyone would be spending Christmas at our house.
Yes, she’d acted as if I actually lived here permanently.
Sam hadn’t protested that it was ours, and the thought turned me all warm and wiggly inside.
Sam relented to his cousin’s girlfriend.
We’d bought a Christmas tree—a white one.
I’d never seen a white tree before, but I helped him set it up while he turned on music from his phone.
Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas” blared from the phone’s speakers.
I winced because I remembered the days before I’d left Gary’s and how much Mom loved listening to this song.
Despite my memories of my mom’s horrible singing, I hummed to the tune anyway, my foot moving with the beat as I helped Sam place glass ornaments on the branches of the tree.
Sam raised his eyebrows at me, and I chuckled.
“Don’t judge. I know it’s Mariah.”
He held up his palms, but the corners of his mouth curved in amusement.
I groaned because I was judging myself, but who was I kidding? Mariah slayed the Christmas song and it was difficult to stand still when all I wanted to do was dance.
Fuck it.
After placing the bauble onto the branch securely, I moved back away from the tree and did a twirl.
Sam watched me, the delight growing in his warm eyes as I bobbed my shoulders and arms with the beat of the music, belting along with the lyrics in a singing voice that rivaled my mom’s for one of the worst. I held out my hand, asking him to join me, and he laughed silently as he took it and let me spin him toward me.
He danced with me, though he was no expert, and together we bounced along with the energetic tempo until Mariah had sung her last line.
Then, we laughed together, falling into each other as we crashed on the couch.
“I wasn’t meant to be a singer.”
He glanced at me, then shook his head with a wicked smile, agreeing.
I leaned against him, my shoulder pressed to his, and he laid a kiss on my temple.
His lips were warm on my skin and I closed my eyes to savor the feeling of being safe and secure in his home and life.
He’d risked everything for me and there were no words for how grateful I was.
More than that, he gave me something even better—him.
I tilted my chin up and stared at the soft lines of his face and the scruff that lined his jaw and upper lip. He was so fucking handsome. “Thanks, Sam.”
He blinked at me.
“Those guys you dealt with? You saved me and I can’t repay you for that.” I frowned. He’d told me about the news report featuring the assholes and said not to worry. But it was hard. “You gambled on me, and if the cops find out—”
He shushed me and planted his lips over mine.
I moaned into the gentle kiss that made my stomach turn wobbly.
I leaned up into him, my hips rocking forward for contact with his thigh, and he groaned into my mouth.
Then, he broke away, and I whined pathetically.
When he came in for another kiss, I pressed a hand to his chest to stop him, and it earned me a confused look in response.
“I want to show you something.” I cleared my throat before moving my hands in the signs I’d learned.
“My name is E-z-r-a,” I said aloud in time with the ASL.
“I love you.” I didn’t overthink spilling my guts because it was true.
In the short amount of time I’d known Sam, he’d enraptured me and brought me safety and given me a home.
He was special and I wasn’t going to take that for granted.
Finally, I finished off the last signs, the ones Dalton had taught me on Thanksgiving. “I am committed to you.”
Sam stared, eyes a little wide, before he cocked his head.
“I’m learning ASL.” I smiled brightly. “I want to communicate with you and you shouldn’t have to keep writing on paper or using your phone to talk to me.”
His eyes glimmered and I thought they were extra shiny, maybe teary, as he turned to grab his trusty notepad and pen on the coffee table. He wrote on it in his adorable handwriting.
You’re learning for me?
I cupped his cheek, smoothing my thumb over his skin. Jittery sensations spread out in my stomach and I had to catch my breath. “For you. For me. For both of us.”
What was those last signs?
I frowned and repeated it. “I am committed to you.”
A grin broke out across his mouth and he shook his head, laughter lighting up his face.
“What? It wasn’t?”
You said I’m pregnant and you’re the father.
I choked on my spit as he actually laughed, the familiar sound eliciting a shiver of happiness from me.
“Dalton, the asshole! He lied to me. He was the one who taught me those signs. I’m going to shove his cheese so far down his throat he’ll be shitting it out for a year.”
He fell against the back of the couch, hand thumping his chest as he continued to laugh until tears filled his eyes. He wiped at them with his knuckles.
“Ugh.” I ran a hand over my face. I guess it was my fault.
I trusted Dalton too easily, and I knew what kind of guy he was.
Messing with people delighted the fuck out of him.
That dirty act gave him a point in this war of ours.
He succeeded in embarrassing me, but I’d get him back.
I wasn’t going to let him win this battle.
Sam nudged me with the notepad, and I glanced down at what he’d written.
I want to show you something.
“Wha—”
He grabbed my hand and dragged me up off the couch, leading me through the house. I went because I trusted him, but I paused in surprise when we reached the door to the basement. I hadn’t been downstairs since the first day, and I hadn’t thought about it, either.
The fact that he was taking me down the steps to the place where he handled business made me think he trusted me, and that had my lungs squeezing as heat spread through me, settling low in my stomach.
As I reached the bottom step, I stopped and glanced around. The basement wasn’t anything special. It was a normal, boring space, not as exciting as I remembered it being the last time I was here.
“Why are we here?” I stepped in closer to him, desperate to be in reaching distance. It was a strange feeling, wanting to be so close to someone, but I’d cracked open my chest to him upstairs and flashed a vulnerability I didn’t think I’d have with anyone. These feelings with him were new and raw.
He wrote on his notepad again.
You said you loved me.
“Yes, and?” Maybe it was a mistake. He hadn’t told me the same thing back.
And you learned to sign for me.
Heat spread over my cheeks and I ducked my head. “I’m still learning, but I have a long way to go. I only know a few signs.” I shrugged in embarrassment.
You opened yourself up to me, so I’m doing the same with you.
I stared down at the words, my heart drumming harder.
He stepped back and walked over to the washing machine.
He placed the notepad down so he could use both hands to lift the machine and move it.
When he had the machine out of the way, he fiddled with something on the floor.
I moved closer in time to see him heft a big slab of concrete that I hadn’t realized was separated from the rest.
I shifted closer, catching sight of a barrel in the ground. “What is that?”
He glanced at me for a long moment before he grabbed a couple of masks and pairs of gloves from the cabinet and passed a pair to me. We both put them on before he unlocked the lid of the barrel and took it off. An acidic stench drifted through the air, and I crumpled my nose and cringed.
He wrote on his notepad again and turned it around so I could read.
There’s a body in there. The chemicals in the barrel break down human flesh and bones. The pigs can only eat so much and we had three bodies. I keep this barrel and chemicals for things like this.
“Oh.” I shuffled in closer and took a look at the green bubbling liquid.
From here, I could see what looked to be traces of hair, but the chemical was thick and gooey.
I could ask him what it was in there, but I didn’t understand anything about chemistry anyway. “So who got the honor of the barrel?”
Sam smirked.
I cocked my head, a grin tugging at my mouth. “Paul?”
He winked as an answer.
I bit my bottom lip as I sat down on my knees in front of the barrel. I leaned forward, but he grabbed my shoulder before I could get too close. He crouched beside me and used his knee to write on the notepad.
Careful! If this lands on you, it’ll burn straight through your skin.
I whistled. “What kind of mad scientist are you, Mr. Morris?”
His wicked grin sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine.
I rose as he replaced the lid on the barrel and slid off the protective equipment. I took a slow walk around the room and opened cabinets, and he didn’t stop me as he removed his mask and gloves. He was busy placing everything back to normal when I came across an object of intrigue.
My gaze caught the sight of a mask, and I snatched it and turned it over in my hand.
It was completely black, but there were upraised parts of the mask that made me wonder.
Across the eyes were two X’s, the nose had a small semi-circle, while the mouth had what appeared to be stitches, some of which were straight lines while others were crosses.
At the back of the mask where the forehead sat was a button, and curious, I switched it on.
The upraised plastic lit up in a neon green. My stomach warmed, a corded pleasure winding its way through me like a rope of desire, settling low and close to my balls. My dick twitched.
Sam stopped beside me, staring from the mask to my face.
“What is this?” I asked, raising the plastic in my hand. “A Halloween costume?”
He shook his head, pen at the ready as he wrote on his notepad.
The truth?
I nodded, not sure if I could speak.