Epilogue
EZRA
I stared, not quite sure if I wanted to cry or laugh. Probably both. Fuck. I couldn’t cry right now. I wouldn’t, damn it.
“What are you wearing?” I asked, ignoring the trembling in my voice. Those tears were fighters, and they were about to win. Bastards.
Lucy held out her arms and did a little spin, showing off her ugly red sweater with little white reindeer outlines with the words “Chaos Coordinator” printed across the front. It was the same one Sam and I bought when we went to the mall. I hadn’t realized he’d given out the sweaters.
“Do you like?” She winked, throwing a smile over my shoulder at Sam. “We’re doing the big family thing this year. Because that’s what we are, Razzle Dazzle. We’re your family.”
“Poor Ezra,” Bee drawled in a surly tone as she walked into the kitchen, her lips pursed but eyes sparkling in hidden amusement. A Santa hat sat on top of her short white-blond hair and her sweater had a Santa with the words “Santa’s Favorite Ho Ho Ho.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth and laughter spilled from me.
“Yeah, yeah. I see what you did, buying me this one. Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t angry.
Lucy wrapped her arm around Bee’s shoulder and laid a kiss on her cheek. “Santa has good taste.”
Bee laughed and so did Sam and I.
Sam crowded against my back and snaked his arms around my waist, dragging me against his chest. He laid his chin on my shoulder as Bee and Lucy bantered.
Dalton wasn’t far behind, pouting at us as soon as he entered, and waved at his sweater. “Don’t feed the Sleigh Dog? That’s just mean, guys.” His sweater was green and had a dog on it with a Santa hat. “What if I’m hungry?”
Sam and I glanced at each other before we began to cackle.
“You’re always hungry,” I teased, poking my tongue out at him.
He gaped at me. “That was rude.”
“That was the truth,” Bee said, giving him a pointed look. “How do you eat so much and where do you put it? You’ve got muscles.”
Dalton patted his stomach. “I’m a farmer. I work hard.”
Lucy interrupted them by pointing at me and Sam. “Why aren’t you in the sweaters?”
I glanced down. I was only in a T-shirt and sweatpants because Sam said we didn’t need to dress up.
He’d insisted we were family and we could be comfortable, so I hadn’t gone with anything fancy.
Sam wasn’t dressed much differently, except he had a pair of loose and frayed jeans on instead of sweatpants.
Sam stepped away and grabbed a bag sitting on the counter that I hadn’t noticed when he’d kissed me good morning against the fridge. He winked as he dragged out a sweater from the paper bag and threw it at me.
I laughed, remembering which one I’d chosen, and tugged it over my head with the kind of excitement I couldn’t remember feeling in a very long time.
My insides tingled and laughter filled my chest as I tugged the bottom of the sweater down to my hips.
On it was the face of Bruce Willis from Die Hard, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth with a gun in his hand.
The words “Yippee Ki-Yay” curled around the top while the bottom had “Motherfucker.” Surrounding the picture and words was a pattern of trees and snowflakes and it was red, green, and blue.
“Why do you get the cool one?” Dalton complained, eyes narrowed on my sweater.
“Because I chose it. You should’ve been smarter.” I shrugged, grinning even wider at him.
“Oh my. That’s hilarious.” Lucy fell into fits of laughter, pointing behind me, and I glanced at Sam and his ugly sweater. On it was Santa with a knife and the words “Sleigh or Slay?”. We’d found the design right before we’d left the store and it’d been the perfect sweater for him.
Sam opened his arms, proudly showing off his outfit, doing a little spin to complete the show.
“Razz chose it. I love it,” he signed.
I was still learning ASL, but I’d gotten pretty damn good at it in the last month, and I was proud of myself. It helped that everyone used it around me and corrected me when I got it wrong.
“It looks good on you,” I said, my hands moving at the same time I spoke.
“You two are just too sweet.” Lucy laid her arms across her chest, staring at us with goo-goo eyes. “I just can’t with you.”
“It’s about time Sam found himself a boyfriend.” Bee’s gaze slid to Dalton, and she raised her eyebrows. “Now it’s your turn.”
“Who’d put up with him?” I smirked when Dalton gaped at me, and I pointed at him. “That’s what you get for teaching me the wrong signs and making me tell Sam I was pregnant and he was the father.”
Bee, Lucy, and Sam cackled, while Dalton held up his palms toward me, wincing in guilt.
“But you have to admit, it was funny. I wish I was there to see Sam’s face.” Dalton waggled his eyebrows. “Was it funny?”
“No,” I cut in, and everyone laughed harder. I sighed, then grinned because now I could look back on it and laugh.
“Can we please do presents? Come on, to the Christmas tree!” Lucy was like a child, bouncing on her toes as she dragged Bee toward the living room. Dalton wasn’t far behind them, close to skipping his way out of the kitchen. No one would think these were adults.
Snorting, I cocked my head at Sam. “Are they related to you?” I signed.
Sam shrugged and rocked his hand, and I chuckled.
I snuggled against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me, letting me burrow into his heat.
I had a feeling they were being a little over the top for me, but I wasn’t going to complain about it.
This was the first Christmas where I didn’t feel sick at the thought of spending time with family, and I could finally see the enjoyment that came with celebrating.
The holiday wasn’t about presents or silly decorations, though that was a nice bonus, but it centered on the people we cared about.
Sam and his cousins had brought me into their world and I never wanted to leave.
I brushed a kiss over Sam’s jaw, nuzzling the bottom of his chin with my nose. “I love you, Sam.”
He slanted his mouth over mine, kissing me for a few moments, before he could pull away and use his hands. “I love you, Razz.”
I chuckled, taking in the applause sign as my name. I loved it, as much as I loved my nickname. It made me feel like one of theirs.
I held out my little finger and he stared. “Forever. Pinky promise?”
His eyes scrunched as he gave me a huge smile. He slid his little finger into mine and pointed at himself, then made a cross over his heart.
Yep, I was gonna be the perfect murder husband for him. I’d make sure of it.
Bonnie and Clyde had nothing on us.