Chapter 20 #2
D minus? What? What! Ridiculous! The reporter writes like a pompous ass, which I have no doubt he is.
There are some critics that enjoy ripping apart something that’s popular with readers.
Sometimes there’s a great deal of professional jealousy involved, but I’ve definitely got to hide the review.
It’s more than ironic since the book was written by a man, only by a man who isn’t a neanderthal like this lovely critic appears to be.
But that’s not the point. Bad writing? He’s absolutely dead wrong.
Even when I hated the book, I loved the prose.
But he does make a point that hadn’t occurred to me until now.
Why did Ryan choose a woman’s pen name when the book was written in a male point of view?
I hadn’t known this when I agreed to be Elizabeth and I never did get a straight answer out of him.
He and his publisher could have chosen another male pen name and simply hired an actor. I have questions. So many questions.
I fire off a text to Pepper:
Why did Ryan choose a woman’s pen name?
Pepper replies:
I think you should ask him that question. It’s complicated.
Complicated? Now she’s piqued my curiosity.
Why? Someone he knows?
Pepper ignores the question.
There’s also an email from Pepper, sent yesterday:
I’m just putting on the finishing touches for a book signing at the local indie bookstore in Seven Trees.
They’ve been very supportive, even if they usually don’t host romance books.
But with the success of Soulmates, they couldn’t resist. Working on a date but will be in touch via email.
I’m already posting teasers on your website.
A book signing. They’d warned me this could happen.
It’s one thing to have performed in front of the monitor with only Ryan for company, knowing any mistakes would be edited out.
It will be quite another to be live and in person with actual people.
I wonder if they will ask me to speak. I’m one of those people that would rather die than speak in public.
For the next hour, Ryan gone, I put everything else out of my mind and flesh out some ideas for a sequel.
It has to be said that I also fight my desire to snoop in his bedroom.
But I can’t bring myself to breach that line, even if I imagine something significant to Ryan is in the room where he sleeps.
Looking around, I see he’s added nothing to Professor Henry’s décor other than paper and research books, of which there are already plenty.
It all says that Ryan is a short-timer here, which I already understood.
When it’s time for me to go, Ryan hasn’t returned, so I leave him my notes on his proposal and lock up.
Sofia has managed to talk me into going out tonight and so I drag myself to Sliderbar expecting I’ll have to watch her flirt with someone. Flirting is her art and she loves showing off. But if she reads my books, I’ll go ahead and watch her flirt. It’s only fair to support her art.
When I arrive, she waves me over to a booth.
I sit on the opposite side. “I’m not staying long.”
“Why not?” The sound of her voice comes out like a whine.
“Because I’m not interested in flirting with anyone tonight or finding someone new.”
She pouts. “When are you going to be interested?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does, because you’re too young to be sidelined with permanent heartache.”
“I’m not sidelined and it’s not permanent. It’s only been six months.”
“But when are you going to get back on the horse?”
“Maybe I should first figure out why in the world I chose to be with Chris in the first place. He was all wrong for me. A gym bro when I’m an introverted intellectual.
He didn’t even like to read books. I should have known then we were doomed.
Was I that desperate not to be alone? Because that makes me sound too much like my mother! ”
“Hmm. Well, he’s handsome and has a job unlike some other guys you’ve dated.”
“Like that’s enough? I wanted sparks. I wanted—”
“What your parents had.”
We’re quiet for a moment, both of us, because we both know it’s true. I’ve been so busy chasing after a fantasy, a moment in time, that maybe what I’m missing is something real.
“What about professor McHottie?” She bats her eyelashes. “Did it ever occur to you that true love might be right in front of you?”
That’s a bit of a cliché but I’m going to let that go because I know she’s trying to speak my language.
“We’d be a workplace romance,” I explain. “But weirdly enough, while that’s cute in a romance book, in real life it can result in a lawsuit. I’m sure Ryan wants to avoid one of those.”
“Oh my gosh, just tell him you’ll never sue and kiss him silly!”
“No. I’m not going to ruin our working relationship.”
That’s the trouble with real life. Tropes aren’t as cute and endearing because you have to live with the ramifications.
If only I could live in a romance novel.
Life would be perfect. I picture my father dipping my mother in the kitchen while they danced and I giggled.
They were perfect. Doesn’t anyone else get that? Why can’t I have it?
“Your mami is the most beautiful woman in the world,” Papi would say. “And she married me!”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night,” Sofia says, pulling me out of my memory. “And I talked to my mother about old times. She wants to get together with your mother. She says they have a lot to talk about.”
“I didn’t think they even liked each other.”
“I’m not sure they do, but Mami said something interesting when I was over for dinner. Apparently your mother met Eddie first.”
“That’s common knowledge. They were both at university together. But then she saw my father and the rest is history. They fell head over heels in love.”
“Yes, but you realize she was more than friends with Eddie when they met. She dated him.”
“What?” It comes out like a sputter. “You must be wrong about that.”
That’s not right. It’s not the story I’ve been told.
“What’s the big deal? It wasn’t serious, and she obviously much preferred your dad. She settled down with him, she loved him. You’re not wrong about your parents. They had the great love story.”
“But…why didn’t anyone ever tell me this?”
“Ancient history. There’s no reason to talk about it unless you’re like my mami and love to gossip.”
Tia Carmelita does love to gossip.
“Maybe.”
But having either imagined or actually seen what I did, I can’t deny this new information bothers me.
I don’t love anyone messing around with the picture I have in my head of my parents and the love story set in stone in my mind. First love, true love, soulmates. This is the story that plays in my mind when I imagine a forever kind of love.
This is the story I don’t ever want to let go.