Chapter 29
Car accident.
There are no two other words in the English language that, when put together, have such a sickening effect on me.
My mind goes back to a rainy night twenty years ago.
A policeman at our front door. My mother falling to her knees.
Later, Eddie, openly weeping without a hint of shame.
And me, wanting someone to blame besides the rain and a father who loved driving fast through mountain curves.
There are fissures in a life, moments that define what happened after.
I don’t want this to be one of those moments. It can’t be. I would not write it this way and I don’t even think Ryan would.
“Is he okay?” My voice breaks.
“I don’t know, but he’s hurt enough that Millie called us. She didn’t say much before hanging up, she was too upset.”
She would know better than to call his estranged family and an ache forms in my chest that Ryan has no one else in the area who cares.
Except me. My heart is racing, beating like it will smash through the wall of my chest. If she was too upset to talk, Ryan might be seriously injured. I’ve got to get there now.
“What hospital?” I ask.
Pepper tells me Ryan is at El Camino Hospital, which isn’t far.
“I’ve tried calling Ryan, but he’s not answering,” Pepper says.
He could be unconscious, or in a coma. Of course, he might also not have his phone with him at the hospital. You never want to give an author any room to imagine the worst because we are a creative sort. I am picturing everything from a broken leg to death.
The fact Ryan was with Millie doesn’t even register on my radar until I’m halfway to the hospital. The only thing that matters now is that he’s alive. He has to be. If he dies, if he’s dead, I swear I’m going to…stop writing. Stop dreaming. There would be no point.
Simply imagining this fictional scenario has tears streaming down my face before I even start driving and I’m forced to take a moment to calm down. It will do no one any good if I have an accident of my own on the way to the hospital.
I hang up with Pepper and have enough presence of mind to text Sofia that I can’t make dinner due to an emergency but will see everyone later.
Then I’m off, pulling onto the street and joining traffic.
I make it across town in record time, even with my safe driving skills, which normally keep me well below the speed limit.
Parking near the ER entrance, I race across the parking lot and through the double doors to the triage nurse behind the glass window.
“Ryan Brady,” I say when I’m able to catch my breath. “I was told he’s here.”
“And you are…”
I’m…I’m nobody. I wonder if I could get away with saying I’m his wife. After all, I’m like his work wife. There’s no way they will let me back there if I say I’m his assistant. They’ll laugh me out of the hospital.
“I’m, um, his wife.” It’s tough not to wince at the lie but I think I’ve pulled it off.
From behind me, someone clears their throat.
“He doesn’t have a wife.”
I turn and for a moment, everything feels blurry and out of focus.
It’s Millie, looking model gorgeous with her jet-black hair and matching pantsuit.
I’m encouraged by the fact she doesn’t look like she’s been crying.
Her eyes aren’t red or puffy like mine. She knows more than I do, which means Ryan is alive.
But Pepper called me, Ryan did not. Maybe he called Millie. Maybe I’m intruding simply by being here. But I don’t care because I’m not leaving until I know he’s okay.
“Wife, huh? Hello, Luci,” she says. “Or do you want me to call you Elizabeth?”
She inspects me, head to toe, as if expecting to find some defect by the manufacturer. I hate when beautiful women do that to us mere mortals.
“Where is he? How is he?” I manage. “I want to see him and you know they weren’t going to let me in.”
The interesting thing is she’s got a plastic band on her wrist, the kind they give when you’re admitted to the hospital or clinic for any reason at all.
“He’s going to be fine,” she says, and I hear the edge of annoyance in her tone. “You didn’t have to come. We were in a fender bender.”
“Oh. Ohhh.” At that moment, every one of my muscles unclenches and I sway in place.
A fender bender. I don’t like those, either, but I know from my extensive research on accidents before I dared take my driver’s test, they’re the ones that happen the great majority of the time.
Fatal accidents account for only 0.5 percent of the time, which doesn’t sound like much, but it’s still tens of thousands of people every year.
“Here’s the patient now,” Millie says and I turn to see him being wheeled out by an attendant.
His arm is in a sling and his hair is ruffled but otherwise he looks fine. There are no missing limbs, no casts, no blood, bruises, scratches, or cuts on his face. I’m going to assume they’ve done X-rays to look for internal bleeding.
“Were X-rays done to check internal bleeding?” I ask the young woman pushing Ryan’s wheelchair.
Millie quirks a brow. “Are you a doctor?”
“No, I’m a writer.”
“Yes, all that was done,” the attendant says. “He’s all clear.”
I feel like I can breathe again and take in a great big, beautiful breath of sweet air. Everything that had been flipped off its axis slips right back into place.
Ryan is giving me a big smile when I meet his eyes.
“Wow! Who are you?”
Oh, I recognize this Ryan. It’s Adorable Ryan once again making an appearance. I’m a bit surprised he doesn’t recognize me. But he’s also not wearing the glasses he claims he doesn’t need for anything other than for reading. Not sure I believe that anymore.
“He’s being discharged but he’s on a lot of pain medication,” the attendant explains.
“Yeah, please thank my doctor.” Ryan throws back his head to laugh and winces. “Ow. Not going to do that again.”
“Give too much pain medication to a man who barely takes a Tylenol.” Millie waves her hand in the air. “And this is what you get.”
“Can I take Ryan home? Doesn’t he need a ride?” I ask.
“I’ll take him,” Millie says.
“No.” Ryan turns to the attendant and points to me. “This woman will take me home, whoever she is.”
“Ryan, it’s me, Luci.”
“Oh, right. I remember now.” He squints and nods. “You’re the beautiful one who helps me.”
“Are you sure, honey?” Millie says, placing a hand on his arm. “I feel like this is all my fault.”
“It is your fault,” Ryan says. “But it’s okay! It’s really fine. I’m good, good. Just…leave me alone. Please.”
“It’s fine, I’m headed that way,” I lie.
“Alright, let’s go.” Ryan says and the attendant pushes him toward the sliding glass doors.
Millie brings up the rear, her high heels clacking on the pavement behind me. “I’m sorry. I truly am. I honestly didn’t see that car or I would have stopped in time.”
“You were in the accident with him?” I ask.
“Fender bender,” she corrects, then turns back to him. “I’ll find your glasses and get them back to you. If you need me, anytime, day or night, let me know. I’ll be there.”
Ryan is already over by my car, standing, trying to open the door without success and quite confused it won’t open. “What’s going on here?”
I run over, clicking the key fob on my way. “It’s locked.”
“Yeah, that makes sense.” He then opens the door and nearly falls into the passenger seat even with the nurse’s help.
I go around to the driver’s side but not before Millie calls out to me, “Ask him to tell you how he came up with the pen name. He doesn’t like to talk about it, but you should know.”
I’ve already asked, of course, and received a pat answer. Her comment tells me in no uncertain terms I should dive deeper.
With that she turns and walks back to the hospital, following the attendant with the empty wheelchair.
I join Ryan and start the car.
“No.” Ryan leans his head back and groans. “I missed the signing.”
It’s as if he’s just remembered.
“Don’t worry about it, you have a good excuse.”
“No, I don’t. She tricked me. You think I would know by now.” He pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Tricked you?”
“The problem is I have too big a heart. It’s like”—he looks down at his chest—“three times too big. I’m the opposite of the Grinch.”
“You’re a little like the Grinch until people get to know you.” I bite back a smile.
“I told her I only had a few minutes and had to get to the bookstore but she started crying again.”
That sounded way too familiar. I’m beginning to wonder if she’d kept him from the signing on purpose. It’s not as if he needed to be there except for me.
“It’s fine that you missed it,” I say. “Everything worked out.”
“Yeah, I bet it went well!” He sounds so enthusiastic I don’t have the heart to tell him everything now. “Tell me.”
“Um, yeah, fine, we sold a ton of books. But we’ll talk about that later.” I grip the steering wheel tighter. “Why is your arm in a sling but Millie seems fine?”
“Oh, well see the car broadsided my side. Isn’t that funny?” Ryan closes his eyes like he’s dozing. “She has all the luck.”
“Yes, she seems pretty lucky to me.”
I can barely hear his next words. “If I’d met you first, she wouldn’t have stood a chance. And then none of this would have ever happened.”
“None of what?”
“No Millie. No book,” he mumbles. “You’re really beautiful, you know, but I can’t say that because it would be wrong and inappropriate. I know the rules.”
I have to smile at his rigidness. “Why would that be wrong?”
“Inappropriate.” He holds his finger to his lips. “Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”
“I think I can speak for myself and I wouldn’t mind at all if you say it.”
But Ryan’s eyes shut and he drifts off on a cloud of pain meds.