Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
“… a
nd do not give me that look,” Caspian Turner, the Duke of Amberhall snapped.
“What look is that, exactly?” Damien Harrington, the Duke of Wexford, replied innocently.
“Judgement. Mockery. A sense that there is a joke to be made, dangling from the tip of your tongue, and you are just waiting for the right time to launch it at me.”
“You got all of that from a look?”
“I am looking forward to the birth of my child. What of it?” Caspian snapped. “Is there something wrong with that?”
“Who says that there is?” Damien said with that same innocent smirk on his lips. “I am happy for you, Caspien. I have told you as many times.”
“However…” Caspien led his friend.
Damien chuckled. “However, I struggle to pair the words you speak with the man I used to know. I liked you a lot more when you were a miserable bastard like the rest of us. This whole being in love nonsense…” He scoffed. “It is bringing down my mood considerably.”
“So, you admit that you are miserable?”
“I meant it as a figure of speech.”
“I will not apologize for being in love with my wife,” Caspien said rightly.
“Just as I will not apologize for looking forward to the birth of my child. I only pray that a day comes when you might feel this same sense of joy that I do. Even if such a display of happiness plays havoc with this misery you seem so intent on courting.”
Damien sighed and turned to find Evander. “Evander, will you back me up here, please. Don’t you agree that Caspian was far less insufferable before he married? And even more so before his wife became pregnant?” They both looked at Evander, who gave no response. “Evander? Don’t you agree?”
Whether Evander agreed or not was unimportant, as he had not heard so much as a word spoken in the last five minutes.
Why does she haunt my thoughts like this? I might do better to dismiss her now and save myself the trouble. But to do that will be to admit that there is a problem, which there is not. But if that was the case…
The three men had met just thirty minutes ago for what was a standing affair at their local gentleman’s club.
The hour was still early, so the club was mostly empty, which allowed the three friends to tuck themselves in the back corner where they might discuss politics and business and those things that only men of their esteemed pedigree could ever truly understand the importance of.
For thirty minutes, the conversation had flowed. However, in this instance, it had pertained to Caspien’s marriage, his coming child, and Damien’s aversion to such things – an aversion that all three men used to share.
Throughout those thirty minutes, Evander had not spoken so much as a single word.
Likely, the woman will do something that will force me to let her go. She seems like the type, and when that moment comes, I will not hesitate. But is that even an option? Aaron needs structure and discipline, and if I let her go, won’t that just prove that she has gotten to me…
“I know you are rarely one for good conversation, Evander, but even for you this is absurd,” Damien snorted.
“Poor his drink on him,” Caspian added. “See if that snaps him out of it.”
Evander’s mind was awash with thoughts of his new governess.
He did not want it to be. This had not been the case with the last six whom he had hired – not once had they entered his frame of thought, save for when they had quit in hysteria.
But this Miss Finch… she was not like them, and Evander was yet to decide how he felt about that.
“That’s it.” Damien leaned across the table and slammed his fist down so that the tankard of ale in front of Evander rattled and nearly tipped over.
Evander jumped in shock and then blinked to further exaggerate it when he found his two friends watching him with looks on their faces that might have spoken of worry, were they the types who would ever feel such a thing for him.
Rather, they looked curious… even amused that someone as stoic and as well-composed as Evander could become so befuddled.
“There he is,” Damien chortled. “Welcome back.”
“Is something the matter?” Caspien added. “You seem rather distant, even for you. And while I might regret forcing your attention back onto us, as it's rarely anything worth coveting, I do wonder…” He chuckled. “What has gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” Evander said a little too quickly, snatching at his tankard and taking a long sip.
He knew immediately that he had misspoken. The quickness of his response, the way he tried to cover himself with his tankard, made it obvious to anyone who knew him that he was lying.
Well done, Evander. Why not just announce to the world that something is the matter? This is why I hate disorder, because it leads to unpredictability, which leads to chaos…
“Liar,” Damien said. He was undoubtedly the ‘funny’ one of the group, with his sharp wit and scathing sense of humor. His blue eyes danced, his thick lip curled in mischief, and he glanced at Caspian before winking.
“Dare we ask what is wrong?” Caspian sighed. Caspian was like Evander in many ways. Dark. Intimidating. Even brooding. However, the man had changed much this last year, and it had everything to do with his marriage… one which, if he was to be believed, had seen him fall hopelessly in love.
“Do you even care?” Evander said.
“Not really,” Damien said. “Well, only so much as it makes you uncomfortable. Now, that is something I do rather like.”
“It does no good to bottle these things up,” Caspian said. “As my wife always tells me –”
“Here we go,” Damien groaned. “Any excuse to mention that he is happily married.”
“Is that jealousy I hear?” Caspian noted.
“You wish,” Damien scoffed.
“I am fine,” Evander growled to silence them both. As much as he did not wish to speak about his problems, he wished even less to listen to his two friends bicker like fishwives. “My son is who occupies my mind, as thrilling as I am sure that is to hear.”
“Aaron?” Caspian leaned forward, worry now taking him. Ever since he learned that he was going to be a father, the man has become insufferable. “Is something the matter with the boy?”
Evander suppressed the urge to groan. If there was one thing he hated, it was talking about his private life. Doing so was deeply personal; it always brought with it emotional openness, which, in Evander’s eyes, made him look weak.
“I worry about him,” Evander spoke carefully, refusing to give away too much about his true feelings. “You know the problems I have had trying to find a governess this last year.”
“Oh yes,” Damien chuckled. “How many have you gone through now? Five?”
“Six,” Evander said.
“He’s a menace, that one,” Damien said as if with pride. “I can’t help but wonder where he gets it from.”
Evander glared a warning at his friend. “He is not a menace. He is just… learning who he is. Which he would do, if I could find someone who didn’t balk and run every time that he dared act out – as all young boys do.”
It frustrated Evander how quickly these governesses had been to quit on his son. Yes, he was a little wild at times. And yes, he made things difficult where other boys might not. But he was Evander’s son; he deserved the best education, and to deny it to him was wrong.
I care about my son… more than most probably realize. Certainly more than Aaron realizes, which is my own failing, one that I wish I were strong enough to correct.
“Still no luck then?” Caspian asked with obvious worry. “I find it hard to believe that there isn’t someone out there who can handle the boy.”
“Oh, I’ve found someone new,” Evander said with a bitter chuckle. “But that is another problem entirely. Hired just two days ago, one Miss Finch…” His stomach fluttered in a curious way at the mention of her name, and he took a sip of ale in an effort to temper it. “She is… different.”
“Different how?” Caspian said.
Evander hesitated at the question. He had so much to say about Miss Finch, so much on his mind that he needed to work through and solve so that he might get to the bottom of why she plagued his thoughts the way that she did.
However, he needed to be careful. His two friends watched him closely; they knew him better than anyone else, and if he said the wrong thing, if he misspoke even just a little, they would pounce like rabid dogs and tear through him without remorse.
“She is…” His brow furrowed. “Brazen. Outspoken. While she is clearly well-educated, she has a tongue that might suggest she was raised in a tavern.”
“Sounds like a perfect match for Aaron,” Damien laughed.
“I have no doubt that she can handle Aaron,” Evander said, realizing right then that he meant it.
“Handling his more troublesome traits is one thing. Raising him as he needs to be raised is another entirely.” He took a long sip of his ale this time.
“I worry that I have brought a fox into a henhouse and should I blink…”
“Then fire her,” Caspian said simply. “Why take the risk?”
“Desperation,” Evander sighed. “Six governesses have gone through... not one other has applied, besides Miss Finch. I have no choice in the matter, and she seems to know it.” He frowned as he looked down at the table, knowing how true these words were.
As true as this statement might have been, Evander had to admit that it was not the only reason he hired her… even if he would never say the true reason out loud, or even to himself.
It was more than just her cantankerous personality and boldness. It was more than how she stood up to him, spoke back, refused to back down, where so many others would without hesitation – done because many feared him, just as Evander liked it.
His mind started to drift as he stared at the table.
He pictured Miss Finch in his mind, from her dark hair that flowed thick down her body, to her green eyes that were fierce and unblinking and dangerous, to the curves of her body…
how soft they were… how they demanded attention in ways that were impossible not to give.
Does she know what she does to me? Is that why she behaves that way? But how could she when I have been so careful? I have been careful, haven’t I…
“Evander?” Damien spoke to him. “Evander, are you there?”
“We’ve lost him again.”
Evander could hardly hear his two friends speaking.
His mind was well and truly trapped in a prism of temptation and fear. Hiring Miss Finch had been his only option, just as he had no choice but to keep her in his employ because there was literally nobody else.
But doing so was sure to bring its own sort of reckoning in due course.
He would fight it. He would do his best to avoid it.
But Evander knew as he knew the sun was sure to rise tomorrow, that a time would come when she would confront him, when he would break, and then…
he was not even sure what might happen next.
As much as this worried him, it also excited him. And that was why he could not stop thinking about his new governess, Miss Finch.