Chapter 5 #2
She puts a lid on the pot on the stove and lowers the burner heat. Leaning against the counter, she studies me with too much interest. I resist not fidgeting under her scrutiny. “Can I ask about your tattoos?” she blurts out.
I stiffen instinctively as her eyes roam over the markings on my forearms, the ink crawling up and covering my shoulders beneath my t-shirt. I force my body to relax. “You may ask,” I allow.
“Do they mean something?”
“All of them.” I extend my arm slightly. “This one is for the Bratva brotherhood, my family.” I point to another one. “This one mean loyalty.” I hesitate before pointing to the last one visible on my arm. “And this one…it’s a promise I made.”
“A promise to who?”
“To myself.”
She steps closer. “Can I…?”
I should say no. But the word sticks in my throat, and I nod once.
Her fingertips touch my forearm, feather-light. Heat shoots up my arm, straight to my spine. She traces the lines slowly, reverently, like she’s reading me through my skin. Her voice is a whisper. “Your skin is warm.”
“Yours is fire,” I answer before I can stop myself.
She blushes, but she doesn’t move away. Her fingers drift upward, brushing the edge of my sleeve. I suddenly wish I’d worn less clothing.
“What about your scars?” she murmurs, touching one barely-there line on my bicep.
“A lesson.”
“About what?” There’s a cute frown line between her eyes when she looks up at me.
“Life.”
“Did it hurt?” Her gaze is too open, too curious. A small flare of pain heats my chest when I think about how I’ll have to teach her to curb that. She won’t survive long in my world displaying that much honesty and innocence.
“Some pain,” I say quietly, “is involuntary.” I take her hand gently and flatten it against my chest. “And some pain we welcome because it leads somewhere we want.”
Her pupils darken. The air between us thickens and I can’t stop staring at her lips.
She moves first.
It’s small, barely a shift, as she leans in just enough that her lips brush mine. They’re soft, hesitant, searching.
I hold still for a moment, but then I snap and kiss her back, hard. I growl as I claim her lips, thrusting my tongue into her mouth.
She gasps, and I pin her against the counter, one hand braced on the granite, the other on her waist. Her fingers clutch my shirt, pulling me closer, urging my tongue deeper as hers meets it thrust for thrust.
My hands roam over her body. It’s soft, warm, perfect.
She rises onto her toes, pressing into me, and every muscle in my body tightens in a way that’s dangerous.
I break away first, breathing hard.
Her eyes are wide, lips swollen, chest rising fast.
“Tell me to stop,” I rasp, my forehead resting against hers. “Tell me to stop and I walk away.”
She shakes her head.
I swallow. “Then tell me you want this because once I start, I won’t stop until I’ve had all of you.”
Her fingers curl in my shirt, tugging me closer. “I want this,” she whispers. “But I’m afraid.”
“You’re afraid I’ll hurt you.” I’ve never committed violence against a woman, but she’s right to worry. I’m a brute. She’s seen what the monster in me can do already.
Surprising me, she shakes her head. “No.” She ducks her head. “I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed. I don’t know how to please a man.” She looks up, her eyes solemn, “You said my duty is to please you.”
I cup her face and she leans into my palm. “You could never disappoint me. You please me just by being you.” The truth of those words overwhelms me and a sharp pain twitches in my chest. I rub my pec.
It’s the closest thing to surrender I’ve ever heard.
“Are you sure?” she breathes.
“Very sure.” I kiss her lips, softly this time.
She returns the kiss but then steps back, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt. Another over-sized t-shirt. I can’t wait to drape her in silk and satin. “Maybe we should eat,” she says. “I know I started this…and I don’t want you to feel like I lead you on…but—”
“It feels overwhelming,” I finish for her.
She nods, biting her lip.
“For me too.” I pull her toward me, loosely holding her hips as I guide her body between my legs. “You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to say stop at any point.”
She stares over my shoulder, not meeting my gaze as another blush covers her face. “That’s the problem.”
I touch my index finger to her cheek, gently guiding her head until she looks at me. “What’s the problem?”
She ducks down mumbles something.
“I can’t hear you.” I frown, have I already scared her away from physical intimacy.
She raises her head, defiant eyes locks onto mine. “The problem is I don’t want to stop.”
My chest fills with lightness. “You’re allowed to want me.”
“I’ve known you for less than twenty-four hours.”
“And yet you married me.” I can’t help the wide grin blooming on my face.
She frowns. “That was because you made me.”
I nod, faking seriousness. “Yeah. I held a gun to your head, making you sign those papers.”
She flicks me an annoyed look. “You know what I mean.”
I pull her closer, looping my arms around her body in a soft embrace.
“It’s more like you made me.” I clutch the neck of my t-shirt, like I’m wearing perls.
“You wielded that blade like you knew what you were doing. Watching you down that creep, I knew I had to do what you told me or I’d be next. I had no choice but to marry you.”
She slaps my chest. “Again with the knife jokes, funny man.”
I laugh, surprised at the lightness of the sound. “Let’s eat,” I say, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She hesitates, and then hugs me tight, her arms locked behind neck. “Okay,” she says and steps away.
I miss the heat or her body immediately, and although the view of the sway of her wide hips as she walks toward the stove is delicious, it’s not enough to squelch my hunger for her.
Not even close.