Chapter 11
Finlay kissed Thalia so hard he thought his lips might bruise, but he did not care. Her body melted against his, her hands grasping at his chest as if she could not get enough of him. He groaned, sliding his hands down to her waist to pull her even closer.
The heat of her body was intoxicating, and he could feel every bit of her through the thin fabric of her shift.
It reminded him of that night two years ago, when she had been out exploring the gardens in her nightgown.
It had been hard to forget the way she had looked then, but being able to touch her, to taste her like this, was far superior to merely looking.
She pulled back as she gasped for breath, but he just chased her lips down again. She moaned against him, her hands coming up to curl into his hair as she pulled him closer still. Grasping her hips, he pushed her back onto the bed. She fell, panting heavily as he climbed on top of her.
There was no fear in her eyes. There was nothing but want and desire that he had seen in dozens of other women. He settled his weight on her and captured her lips again.
She was a quick study, responding to his movements with some of her own. Her hands had slipped under his shirt, her nails digging into his back so hard he groaned loudly against her mouth.
His hands found her breasts, and he palmed one expertly. Her nipple pebbled under his fingers, and he was happy to find that he could still feel its hardness through her shift. She moaned again, and he moved his lips to her cheek, down her neck, just so he could hear it properly.
She hummed prettily, tilting her head to give him better access.
“Finlay… Oh, Finlay!” she cried, lifting her leg to press against his side.
He could take her now. She was behaving so well. She would not resist him. It would be so easy for him.
And if I take her maidenhead now, I will have to marry her.
That thought sobered him.
With a jolt, he launched himself off the bed, stepping back from her until he was on the other side of the room.
Thalia sat up in a daze. Her hair was disheveled, her shift had slid up high on her waist, nearly revealing all of her to him. She still looked so enticing; he had to force himself to stay where he was.
She is a lady. I cannae defile her without consequences.
“Finlay?” Her eyes were wide with confusion. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Nay,” he rushed out. “Nay, it’s just… I think it’s best ye get back to yer room now. I thank ye for the advice about Daisy.”
She rose to her feet, smoothing down her shift. Her face was still flushed, but now he could see it was from shame rather than arousal. That stung, and he dug his nails into the palms of his hands.
“Finlay—”
“I’ll see ye at breakfast.” The words came out harsher than he had intended, but they did the trick.
Thalia tilted her chin up and stormed out of the room. He suspected she would have slammed the door behind her had she not been worried about alerting the entire castle to what had almost transpired.
He exhaled, the breath feeling like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He needed to regain control of himself. What had gotten into him? He had not even been this impulsive during the height of his ‘Wolf’ days.
“Aye. That must be it,” he muttered to himself.
It had been a long time since he had let the wolf out to hunt. Too long, it seemed, since he had almost lost all control of his desires.
It was one thing to flirt, to tease; it was another to take the maidenhead of a lady. Especially since he had no real plans to marry her. He had just narrowly missed one war; he might not be so lucky the next time.
He wrenched his shirt off, throwing it to the side. The coolness of the air against his skin helped to clear his head, and he began to get ready for his day. He was frustrated, sleep-deprived, and no doubt those were a deadly combination. A clean set of clothes would help sort him out.
He strode towards his wardrobe and grabbed a fresh linen shirt, buttoning it with ease. The action made him think of Thalia again, of how she had openly stared at his chest with a desire he had never thought he would see on her face.
Shaking off the memory, he pulled out a brown waistcoat and buttoned it as well. Perhaps if he dressed as the laird he was, it would help to serve as a reminder that he needed to rise above his base desires. He wrapped his sword belt around his waist and walked out of his bedroom.
The halls were quiet. Thalia must have gone back to her room. He was thankful to have a moment to gather his thoughts. It would be best for both of them if he made sure they were never alone together again. Or else it would cause more trouble.
This betrothal was beginning to feel like a plague upon his life, but he made a promise to Thalia, and he was going to do his best to keep it.
He was glad not to see Laird MacFinn or Laird MacGibbon.
It was polite for him to invite them to stay in his castle, but he didn’t trust either of them.
He would need to discuss plans with Peter and Caden just to be safe.
Now that he had a daughter, he needed to make sure that nothing nefarious was happening under his roof.
Daisy’s room seemed quiet. He kept her close to his quarters, and Rowena was right next door. But as Thalia had proved this morning, the girl would find any chance she could to run from him.
One good thing did come of their brief moment together. She had given him a better idea of how to talk to Daisy.
He knocked lightly on the door. “Daisy? Can I come in?”
The door opened, and two wide green eyes looked up at him. There was shame and a touch of fear, neither of which he wanted to see in her.
“Am I in trouble?” she squeaked.
“Nay, lassie. I just want to talk to ye.” He kept his voice as gentle as he could.
She nodded, opening the door wider so that he could come in. She ran back over to her bed, jumping in and pulling the blanket back up to her chin.
Finlay walked over, sitting on the edge of her bed so that he was close but far enough away to give her some space.
“Ye ken that what ye did yesterday was wrong,” he began.
She squirmed, throwing the blanket over her head.
“Daisy…” He sighed, pulling at the blanket until it slid down her head. “Why do ye always feel like ye have to run away or hide from me? Have I nae shown ye that ye can trust me?”
She hesitated, her hands fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “Aye.”
“I’m nae mad,” Finlay said, resting his hand on her head. “And I’ll always be here for ye. Even when ye make mistakes, like sendin’ out a letter claimin’ I’m goin’ to marry Lady Thalia. Do ye understand?”
She looked up at him with teary eyes. “I just didnae want her to leave. I didnae mean to bring those lairds and cause trouble.”
“I ken that. And I hope that ye’ve learned a valuable lesson from all of this.” He brushed his thumb across her cheek as a stray tear fell.
“Aye, I have,” she sniffled.
“Good.” He ruffled her hair. “Now, do ye think ye could stop runnin’ away?”
She gasped. “She told ye!”
“Aye, Lady Thalia told me about ye almost runnin’ off this mornin’.” He shook his head. “It’s dangerous out there, and I worry that one day ye’re gonna run off and I willnae be able to protect ye.”
“Why?”
He tilted his head. “What do ye mean, why?”
“Why do ye want to protect me?”
The question surprised him. He paused, opening and closing his mouth a few times. He found these words harder to say than he had thought they would be. Her face was so open and trusting, and he was reminded so much of his sister that his heart ached at the sight.
He stood up and walked over to the window. The servants were out in the courtyard now, and the sun was just grazing the tops of the trees. He took a deep breath to ease the pain in his chest.
“Ye remind me of someone I loved very much. Someone I failed to protect,” he explained.
Daisy sat up straighter now, curiosity overtaking her anxiety. “Who?”
“Me sister.” He looked at her again, watching as she frowned in thought.
“I’ve nae met yer sister.”
“She’s nae with us anymore.”
“Oh,” she said quietly, looking down.
“Aye.”
“Lady Thalia… she reminds me of someone I loved, or at least, someone that I would have loved,” she murmured.
“Who is that?” Finlay asked, walking back towards the bed.
“Me maither.” Daisy gave a small smile. “Rowena says she was like Lady Thalia. Sweet, and kind, and brave.”
“Is that why ye wrote that letter?” he asked, and she nodded.
“I like being yer daughter,” she confessed. “Ye’re much better than… than me other faither. Really, ye are! I just thought that if I could keep the three of us together, I would ken what it is like to have a family. A real family, with a faither and a maither.”
His heart broke at the confession, and if he were a weaker man, he might have shed a tear.
“Next time ye have these feelings, I want ye to come and tell me about them,” he urged. “I daenae want anymore schemin’ or sneakin’ around from now on, do ye understand?”
She nodded. “Aye.”
“Good.” He wrapped her in a hug, and she returned it gladly as she threw her arms around his waist.
There was a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. Finlay looked up at the open doorway, but there was no one there.
After her encounter with Finlay, Thalia had rushed back to her room. Her thoughts were so tangled that she felt it would take ages to make sense of them.
Finlay had kissed her, touched her, been close to taking more. What scared her the most was that she would have let him.
Her whole body was flushed. She shook not with fear, but with desire. Nothing had ever made her feel like that before. And then he had simply stopped. With no warning or explanation. She must have done something to upset him.
With a groan, she threw herself onto her bed, burying her head in her pillow. This was all his fault. How could he sit there, teasing and flirting with her for so long, only to push her away the minute he got what he wanted? It didn’t make any sense.