Chapter 44 Anastasius
Claeg broke before me, utterly and completely. His cries struck my heart harder than any slice of the blade, so strong I swore I could feel his agony as if it were my own. Blood dripped from my throat and chest, but both wounds were superficial. They would heal. Just like Claeg would heal. I held my Selected tightly, refusing to let go until his sniffles subsided and he pushed gently away from me. Our eyes met, his red from tears.
“I’m so sorry,” Claeg murmured. The pain in his expression was palpable. A tear slipped free, but I didn’t brush it away. It was okay to feel hurt. Healthy, even. That I knew from experience. Pain was a guiding force. It allowed us to break, but also to heal.
“You have done nothing wrong, Ruptor.”
Claeg’s eyes widened. “I could have killed you,” he responded, shaking.
“You didn’t,” I pointed out softly.
“The Ruptor isn’t gone.”
“Good.” Claeg jolted in surprise. “The Ruptor is part of what makes you Eleos, part of what makes you Claeg.”
“That terrifies me,” Claeg admitted. I gave him an appreciative smile and pressed small kisses to his cheeks. His tears tasted like smoke and salt. He stiffened under my touch. I pulled back to look at him, but his gaze averted mine.
“What’s wrong, Eleos?” I gripped his hand and brought it to my lips. We weren’t perfect, but we were growing. He was learning to experience pain and to heal. We could put ourselves back together. Claeg gulped, another tear slipping down his cheek.
“My Circle isn’t broken. I didn’t come here looking for life. My Janardan sent the Ruptor here to find answers, to hunt.”
I blinked. Stepped out of his embrace. He hung his head and his face flushed with shame. I didn’t know what to say to the confession. What did this mean for us now? Was he planning to leave me after the Choosing? After I gave my heart to him? I felt myself spiraling, but the next words he spoke snapped me out of my shock. “Eleos is a lie.”
I froze, unable to prevent myself from letting out a low growl.
“No.” I refused to let him think that of himself. It wasn't true. His intentions for coming here may not have been what I thought, but that didn’t change what had happened between us. That didn’t change the truth. “Are you telling me that the night, that flying, that humility, bacon, and orange juice, and strength, loyalty, and protection aren’t who you are?” He sighed. “You are more than the mistake of a lie.” I tilted his chin up. “I haven’t been completely honest either.” Claeg raised a single eyebrow and met my eyes. “I am going to Challenge my father to become the next De Vita. I want to make things better between the Circulus and De Vita. I want to unite the clans. In the beginning I had hoped Selecting you would further my ambitions.” I cringed at the truth, but Claeg held my eye.
“And now?”
“Did you find what you were hunting for?”
His eyes narrowed as he contemplated the question for a moment. Slowly, he nodded. “And what did you find?” My voice cracked with vulnerability and tugged my lip between my teeth.
“Oh, Prince. I found De Vita. Mercy. Laughter. Love. Healing. Forgiveness. Purpose. Strength.” His lips curled into a smile and he brought a hand up to pull me closer by my nape. We shared a breath. “I found the other half of my Circle, if you’ll have a broken man like me?” I took a sharp inhale in response to his question.
“Always.” I answered with my heart. When he brought his lips to mine, my heart soared.