Chapter 4 – Beth
My mom arrives at nine to watch the kids while I go to work. I call it work, but Clancy’s Bookshop is my happy place. It’s not really work—it’s more like play. Plus, I get to spend the day with Sam and Erin, two of my very best friends.
When Mom walks through the front door, Luke jumps down from his chair at the kitchen table and runs to greet her.
“Mimi!” he cries as he practically leaps into her waiting arms. “Do you want some pancakes? Cooper made pancakes!”
I can hear my mom chuckling. “Of course, Cooper made pancakes. He spoils your mama rotten.”
“They’re so good! Mine have blueberries in them, and whipped cream on top!”
“Hi, Mom,” I say when she walks into the kitchen holding Luke’s hand.
She kisses my cheek. “Good morning, sweetie.”
After helping Luke back into his chair, Mom leans down to kiss the top of his white-blond hair. And then she turns her attention to Ava, who’s seated in her highchair, chasing around little pieces of pancake and blueberries with her tiny fingers.
“How are my little angels this morning?” Mom leans down to kiss Ava’s tousled curls.
“Ava’s good,” I say, “but she’ll likely need a diaper change soon. Luke is hungry, as always.”
Cooper hands me a plate of food and says, “Sit down and eat, young lady.”
“That’s an awful lot of food for one person,” I say, eyeing a huge stack of blueberry pancakes.
“Then eat what you want and leave the rest.”
“I’ll finish what you don’t want,” Sam says as he waltzes into the kitchen, dressed in ripped blue jeans and a gay pride T-shirt. He’s in the process of securing his long red hair into a topknot.
Cooper smiles at him and pulls him close for a quick kiss.
Since I have way too much food, I grab a second plate and divide the pancakes between the two. I hand one of the plates to Sam. “Here you go. Eat up.”
“I should be home by three,” I tell my mom as I join her at the table.
“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” she asks.
“We’ve got a busy day at the store, prepping for two author signings this weekend and a slew of new releases.
” I point at Luke. “Listen to Mimi when she tells you it’s naptime.
” To Mom, I say, “If he doesn’t want to sleep, he can play quietly in his room while Sissy sleeps.
Luke, do not wake your sister up. You know how she gets when she hasn’t had a good nap. ”
“Okay,” Luke says sullenly, his lower lip sticking out as he pouts. “But I’m too big for naps. Aiden doesn’t take naps.”
Sam walks past Luke and ruffles the child’s hair. “That’s because Aiden’s a big kid. Besides, you’re never too old for naps, isn’t that right, Cooper?” Sam winks at his husband, who’s in his late fifties, considerably older than Sam’s early thirties.
Cooper nods. “Right.”
Luke laughs. “Cooper’s too old to take a nap.”
Cooper brings a cup of tea to my mom—her favorite English breakfast tea, along with a pitcher of milk. “Ingrid, would you like something to eat? There’s plenty.”
Mom shakes her head. “Thanks, but no. I ate before I came.” She adds milk to her tea, stirs, and takes a sip. “Thank you for the tea.”
I manage to eat most of my half of the pancakes before I excuse myself to finish getting ready for work. When I return to the kitchen, Mom has both kids in the family room, seated on the sofa with her as she reads them a book about a bright green caterpillar.
I kiss my kids goodbye. “Be good for Mimi.”
“We will,” Luke says. As I walk out of the room, he yells, “Bye, Mama! See you soon!”
“Bye-bye,” Ava says, waving at me. It’s one of the three words she can say—ma-ma, da-da, and bye-bye.
“Have a good day, sweetie,” Mom says to me as she turns the page and continues reading.
* * *
Joe Rucker, my driver, is parked out front in a black Escalade. Pretty much every vehicle in Shane’s fleet is an Escalade. Joe’s vehicle is bulletproof. So is Cooper’s.
I climb into the back seat, and Sam sits up front with Joe.
“Good morning, Joe,” I say as we back out of the driveway.
“Good morning, Ms. Beth,” Joe says in his deep bass voice. He meets my gaze in the rearview mirror. “And how are we doing today?”
I chuckle. “We are fine, Joe. Thank you.”
“The kids, too? And Mr. McIntyre?”
“They are all well.”
“And Ms. Ingrid? I hear she’s got babysitting duty today.”
“She does. And she’s well also.” I smother a grin. It’s no secret that Joe is sweet on my mom.
Joe is a handsome mountain of a man. The former heavyweight boxer, now in his late fifties, must still work out because he has retained his muscular physique.
His skin is a warm shade of light brown.
His white hair is cropped close to his head, but his trim beard and mustache are still dark.
The contrast makes him even more attractive.
He strikes me as a big teddy bear. He’s flawlessly well mannered, and I detect a hint of a southern accent.
“What about me, Joe?” Sam asks with an exaggerated pout as he glances back to wink at me. “Aren’t you going to ask how I am?”
“Of course, I am, young man,” Joe says. “How are you? And how’s your other half?”
“We are fine,” Sam says. “How about you? Anything new in your world?”
While Joe and Sam continue their friendly banter in the front seat, I take a quiet moment to press my palm to my abdomen and wonder if there’s another little McIntyre growing inside me.
I know I should stop daydreaming about it and find out for sure, but I’m so afraid of disappointment.
I like keeping the mystery alive at least a few more days.
The ride downtown is uneventful. Joe pulls the SUV up to the front of the bookstore and puts it in park.
I gaze out my window at the impressive structure, and marvel at my good fortune.
I’m the lucky owner of this gorgeous, two-story independent bookstore on N.
Michigan Avenue in the heart of The Magnificent Mile.
Shane gifted it to me shortly after I was attacked by a student in the medical school library where I worked at the time.
Sam jumps down from his front passenger seat and opens my door, offering me a hand. “Watch your step, Princess.”
I smile when I hear the old nickname Shane’s sister Lia gave me when we first met. “Aren’t you the chivalrous one today?” I say as I take his hand.
As he helps me down, Sam shrugs. “Just me being me, I guess.”
We say goodbye to Joe, who promises to return for us around two-thirty. One of the perks of being the owner of the bookstore is I get to set my own hours.
Sam opens the door for me, and I walk inside Clancy’s. The store has only been open an hour this morning, and already we’re busy. Erin, who’s standing at one of the checkout counters, waves at me as she rings up a customer’s purchases.
Since Erin became the store’s general manager, I’ve taken more of a backseat role. We have two new assistant managers, Becky and Tara, who help fill out the daily roster.
I spot Mack Donovan—Erin’s husband and the head of store security. He waves at me mid-conversation with a new member of the security staff.
I point to the wide, curving staircase that leads up to the second floor, where my office is located down the administrative hallway. Mack nods as he continues his conversation.
Sam follows me up the stairs and into my office, and he takes a seat on a long sofa positioned in front of a large picture window overlooking the bustling street. He grabs his Nintendo Switch from off the wooden coffee table and powers it up.
“You are such a kid,” I say as I boot up my computer.
Sam props his scuffed boots on the coffee table. “What sounds good for lunch today? I could go for Chinese. How about you?”
I laugh. “We just had breakfast. How can you possibly be thinking about food again so soon? I’m still stuffed.”
“I don’t mean right now.” He rolls his big brown eyes at me. “I’m thinking ahead. I like to be prepared.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think Cooper’s feeding you enough.”
He grins. “Oh, don’t worry, babe. Daddy keeps me well stuffed.”
I wad up a sheet of paper and lob it at his head. “That’s TMI, dude.”
“If you don’t feel up to going out for lunch, I’ll go pick something up, or we can have it delivered. If you’re not feeling Chinese, how about Indian? Or pizza?”
I narrow my eyes on him. “What’s going on, Sam? First, you help me out of the Escalade, and now you’re offering to go pick up my lunch. Care to explain where all the pampering is coming from?”
Sam shrugs as he pushes buttons rapidly on his game device. He’s rewarded with lots of beeps. “No reason,” he says as he avoids making eye contact. “Can’t a guy be helpful?”
“Did Shane say something to you this morning?” I’m wondering if Shane told Sam and Cooper my period is late. It would be just like the three of them to gang up on me.
“About what?” he asks, keeping his eyes glued to his game screen.
“Anything about me.”
“He didn’t say anything about anything. Don’t be so paranoid.”
When Sam’s phone chimes with a notification, he pauses his game and picks up his phone. After he scans a text message, he puts the game down on the coffee table and sits upright, suddenly on alert. “Heads up, Princess. Mack says Shane’s on his way up, and he’s in a tizzy.”
A tizzy? Who says that anymore?
“Shane’s here? Why?” Sometimes he comes to my office for lunch, but it’s only mid-morning, way too early for that. I can’t imagine what—
My door opens and Shane walks into the room looking grim. He’s clearly not happy.
“Hi, honey,” I say, smiling up at him from my desk. “This is a nice surprise. What’s up?”
Shane glances at Sam, and then back at me. “We need to talk, sweetheart.”
Sam rises to his feet. “Do you want me to leave?”
Shane shakes his head. “You need to hear this, too.”
If Shane wants Sam to hear what he has to say, then it’s a security issue. “What is it, Shane?” I ask.
Shane looks almost apologetic as his gaze locks on mine. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Instead, he sighs heavily. Finally, after collecting himself, he says, “There’s no easy way to put this, sweetheart, so I’m just going to say it. Andrew Morton is up for parole.”
My blood turns to ice as the implication sinks in. Andrew released? “What!”
Sam’s eyes widen in shock. “You’re shitting me.”
Since Sam was hired as my full-time bodyguard shortly after Andrew attacked me, he wasn’t around when the incident occurred. But he’s undoubtedly heard all the gory details from Cooper.
“On what grounds?” Sam asks, sounding outraged on my behalf.
“His psychiatrist has petitioned for the hospital to release him. She says he has responded well to treatment and he no longer presents a risk to society.”
“That’s bullshit!” Sam says, his fair complexion turning red. “What about the risk to Beth?”
“I met with Troy this morning,” Shane says. “There will be a hearing Thursday morning, at which time Andrew’s proposed release will be discussed. Troy and I will be there, of course, to argue that the panel reject his parole.” Shane locks eyes on me. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
My heart is racing. “I need to be there, too.” Being in the same room with Andrew Morton is the last thing I want to do, but I don’t see how I can avoid it. I need to see and hear everything for myself.
On the outside, I imagine I look calm enough, but on the inside I feel like I’m fracturing into a million pieces. All those horrible memories come rushing back—memories I’d managed to lock away in the deepest recesses of my mind. Pain, fear, helplessness.
I feel sick.
In an attempt to collect myself, I turn to stare out the window at a clear blue sky. The view is quickly blurred as tears pool in my eyes.
“Sam.” Shane’s voice is low and steady. “Would you mind giving us a few moments?”
“Sure.” Sam gives me a sympathetic glance as he starts toward the door.
“Sam, please tell Erin I won’t be able to help out today,” I say. “Give her my apologies and tell her I don’t feel well.” At least that much is true.
Sam slips out of the room and closes the door behind him.
“Come here,” Shane says as he walks toward me.
When he holds out his hands, I take them and rise from my chair on shaky legs.
He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. “It’s going to be okay.” His words are muffled against my hair. “I won’t let him hurt you again. I swear it on my life.”
Instead of comforting me, as he intended, Shane’s vow has the opposite effect. My greatest fear in life is losing someone I love, and Shane and our children are at the top of that list. I’m not just afraid for myself. I’m afraid for my family.
“Shh,” he murmurs, his lips pressed to my temple. “Troy and I will do everything in our power to make sure he doesn’t get out. And if he does, I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you.”
It’s not until he brushes a trail of tears from my cheek that I realize I’m crying.
Just when life seems perfect, something happens to turn everything upside down.
Shane cups my face and leans down to kiss me. It’s a gentle kiss, meant to be reassuring more than anything else. “Trust me, please,” he says against my lips. “It’s going to be okay.”
The dam breaks, and the tears come rushing out. I’m not afraid for myself. I’m afraid of what this man I love more than my next breath will do in order to keep his promise. That’s what scares me most. Because I trust him, and I know he’ll keep his word.
But at what cost to himself and to our family?