Chapter 6 – Beth
Ava takes longer than usual to fall asleep tonight. I think maybe she’s picking up on my mood. I’m trying hard to hide it from the kids, but they’re both so perceptive.
By the time I walk into our bedroom, Shane’s already in bed, sitting up with his back propped on a stack of pillows resting against the headboard. His chest is bare, and knowing him, the rest of him is, too.
“Everything all right?” he asks as he glances up from his tablet.
“Yes.” I yawn. “Ava had trouble settling down tonight. She’s probably picking up on my anxiety.” I head to our bathroom. “I won’t be long.”
I strip naked and get ready for bed, brushing my hair and teeth.
When I’m done, I stand in front of the mirror and study my body, turning to one side, then the other.
My body has matured a lot after having two babies.
My hips are wider, and my belly is fuller.
Right now, since I’m still nursing Ava, my breasts are larger and heavier.
The knowledge that I might be pregnant weighs heavily on me since finding out Andrew might get paroled.
It changes everything. Now isn’t the best time for us to have another baby.
I almost hope I’m not pregnant. I can’t imagine dealing with a pregnancy and Andrew being out on the streets at the same time.
I turn once more and study my body’s profile.
It looks the same as it did yesterday, and the day before that.
If I am pregnant, it’s way to soon to be showing.
I place my hand against my lower abdomen, right over the spot where my uterus lives, and I wonder if there’s a new tenant in there.
I could pee on a stick right now and find out for sure, but I don’t really want to.
I guess I’m in denial now that the threat of Andrew is looming over us.
I walk naked into our bedroom, and when Shane takes one look at me, he lays his tablet on his nightstand and pulls the covers back for me. I climb into bed and lay my head on my pillow.
He turns down the light on his side of the bed so there’s just enough illumination to make each other out. He lies down, facing me, and cups my cheek. “You are so beautiful.”
“So are you.” And I mean it. I might be biased, but I think my husband is extremely attractive with his short brown hair and trim beard, those electric blue eyes, and a slightly crooked smile that never fails to melt my heart.
He scoffs. “Hardly. I’m just a man who got extremely lucky. The woman I fell for was kind enough to fall with me.”
I press my palm to his chest, right over his heart. His body is warm, so alive, and so comforting.
Shane is the one who usually initiates sex, but right now I think he’d be hesitant to do that given the strain we’re under. And right now, sex is exactly what I need. I want to forget about Andrew. I want to forget about everything except for us.
I slowly trail my fingertips down his torso, past his abs, to his penis, which is already erect. I wrap my fingers around him and stroke him from root to tip.
He catches my hand with one of his. “Are you sure? We don’t have to.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to?”
He chuckles as he wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer. “Honey, there’s never a moment I don’t want you. But I’m trying to be considerate here.”
“I don’t need considerate right now. I need you.” I lean in to kiss him, nudging his lips open with mine and slipping my tongue into his mouth.
With a groan, he rolls me onto my back and leans over me, bracing his weight on one hand while the other one skims down my body to grab hold of my knee and lift my thigh up against his, opening me up so he can nestle his hips between my legs. He rubs himself against me, sliding through my wetness.
He kisses me then, stealing my breath and my thoughts so the only thing on my mind is this—us.
My husband proceeds to make love to me, slow and steady, long, easy strokes that fill me just right, ramping up my arousal. He reaches between us to stroke my clitoris with the pad of his thumb while he thrusts into me.
My gaze locks onto his, and everything he’s feeling is right there in his eyes.
I love you.
We’ll be all right.
I’ll keep you safe.
I’ll keep our family safe.
“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmurs as he leans down to kiss the tears leaking from my eyes.
I didn’t even realize I’m crying.
He strokes me slowly, long deep thrusts, heating up my insides.
He continues with a single-minded thoroughness until my body seizes up and I cry out as my climax hits me hard.
He covers my mouth with his, swallowing the high-pitched keening sounds coming from me.
My vagina clamps down on his erection, squeezing hard, and triggering his own climax.
I revel in the feel of him coming, spurting liquid heat into my body. As his thick erection pulses inside me, my body milks his, until we’re both replete.
Still lodged inside me, he rolls us onto our sides, facing each other. Occasionally, he thrusts deeply, groaning with pleasure as his erection slides easily inside me.
With a sigh, I close my eyes and press my face to his bare chest, breathing in his warm, male scent. He’s my safe place. I want to stay like this forever, just the two of us, joined as one.
I don’t want to think about the monster who is, once again, a threat to us.
* * *
When I return home from work the next day, I find Bridget sitting on the family room floor reading to the kids.
Ava is sitting on her lap with her thumb in her mouth, and Luke is sitting beside Bridget, leaning against her arm as he listens to her read.
We’re so blessed to have both of our moms living close by, alternating childcare.
“How’s it going?” I ask as I walk into the kitchen.
Bridget climbs to her feet and comes to greet me with a hug. “We had a great day,” she says. “How are you doing?”
I shrug. “About the same.”
Giving me a sad smile, Bridget pulls me into her arms again and rubs my back.
“It’ll be okay, honey,” she murmurs. When she releases me, she says, “How would you feel about having some company this evening for dinner? The girls suggested we all chip in and have a pot luck dinner this evening. How does that sound?”
“That sounds wonderful,” I say, grateful for a distraction. Being around family always lifts my mood.
“Great. I’ll let them all know.”
Around five o’clock, the doorbell rings.
“I’ll get it,” Sam says as he walks into the kitchen. He pivots and heads to the foyer.
“I’ll get it, too!” Luke cries as he races after Sam.
A moment later, a stream of McIntyres, along with my mom, comes through the front door. Many of them are carrying a covered dish or a bowl or a basket.
“Dinner has arrived!” my sister-in-law Annie says.
The rest of the McIntyre women follow her into the kitchen—Sophie, Molly, Lia, and Jasmine. Aiden and his twin sisters race to the family room in search of Luke and Ava. Molly is pushing her one-year-old daughter and infant son in a double stroller. Sophie has her toddler, Mia, perched on her hip.
“Hi, everyone,” I say, with the first genuine smile on my face that day. “Thank you all so much for coming.”
Bridget steps forward to hug my mom. The two grandmas are very close.
The women arrange the dishes on the kitchen island.
“We brought brownies!” Lia says as she sets a foil-covered platter down. “And before you ask, no, I didn’t make them. I don’t bake. Jonah made them from scratch using a recipe he found online. Trust me, they’re awesome. I know because I’ve already eaten four of them.”
Before I can ask where the guys are, we hear a bellow of male laughter coming from the vicinity of Shane’s home office. I guess that answers that.
A moment later, Shane comes strolling into the kitchen along with his three brothers, two brothers-in-law, and his dad. “We’ve got company.”
“It’s a party,” Luke exclaims.
“Everyone help yourselves,” Bridget says as she sets out a stack of plates. “The food’s hot, and we have plenty, so dig in.”
“Thank you,” I say to her as I lay out silverware and napkins. I wrap my arm around her. “This is exactly what I needed.”
Bridget hugs me back tightly. “You don’t need to thank me, sweetheart. You know we’ll always be here for you.”
As I gaze around the room, I see so much love and support, it’s overwhelming.
Shane’s family has become my own as well.
I’m surrounded by sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews.
I catch Shane’s gaze from across the room, and he smiles at me.
Suddenly, there are tears in my eyes, but this time, they’re ones of joy.
The icing on the cake is when I hear a deep voice coming from the front door. “I heard there’s a pot luck here this evening,” my brother, Tyler, says as he walks into the house with his husband, Ian. They’re each carrying a covered dish.
“We’ve got a lot of food,” Luke says.
“That’s good,” Aiden says, “because I’m hungry.”
Everyone helps themselves to food. Some of the adults drift out the back door to sit outside on patio furniture while they eat. Some find a spot in the family room, on the sofa, armchairs, and floor.
We seat all the kids at the kitchen table, although we don’t have enough highchairs for all the little ones.
Molly leaves little Henry sleeping in the double stroller, while she holds Hazel on her lap.
Mia sits on Sophie’s lap. Annie holds Emerly, and Bridget helps Everly.
Ava sits in her highchair, while Luke and Aiden eat outside with the others.
“Just look at all these beautiful babies,” Bridget says as she admires all of her grandchildren.
I smile, wondering if Shane and I will soon add another little one into the mix.
After everyone is done eating, the guys take care of the dirty dishes while the women get the kids cleaned up. Lia passes out brownies. We pour milk for the kids, and Cooper passes out cups of freshly made coffee to those who want it. I notice he made a pot of decaf as well, for me.
Bridget stands on one side of me, and my mom stands on the other.
“Everything will be all right,” Bridget says. “If I know my son, and I do, Shane won’t let anything happen to you.”