14. Aurelia
Chapter 14
“There are forty-two!” I told Hadriel as we wound through the trees. I’d leaned forward against him, my cheek on the back of his shoulder and my hands randomly exploring his jacket. I could feel the threads creating the dicks, giving me something to do as we traveled. I didn’t dare uncurl my arms. A while ago I’d almost abandoned horse again. It had stepped on a rock that rolled a bit and the horse adjusted gracefully.
My reaction was anything but.
I’d almost truly fallen by the time Hadriel had caught me, gripping my wrist as I half dangled over the side. This time Weston was useful, his hands on my ribs firm but the way he handed me back up to Hadriel gentle. He waited for me to get my leg back over then grip Hadriel tightly, watching me without a word. When I was settled, his acute focus switched to Hadriel.
“What is happening that she keeps falling off?” he asked, his tone scary, made evident by Hadriel curling over and his ass and thighs clenching. I was that close that I could feel it.
Hadriel had stuck up for me. I’d done the same for him.
“Only a fucking idiot would think it was his fault that I can’t stay on a horse,” I said, my anger evident. “I’ve never done this before and I’m traveling without a saddle. It’s terrifying up here. If you’d let me walk as nature intended, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“And what mess is that, exactly?”
“The one where my instincts tell me I’d better save myself from being rolled over by a horse and trying to jump to safety.”
Weston’s expression did not change, his face utterly blank. His eyes started to sparkle, though. “You’re worried about the horse somehow rolling over on you?”
“In the moment it’s really hard to tell what, exactly, I am afraid of, actually. But yes, that would be terrible.”
“And you think falling off the side, onto the ground at its feet, would somehow prevent this horror?”
“Look, I don’t know. This horse could decide I’m a nuisance and buck me clear off. I’m ready to just do it a favor and get off by myself before that happens.”
He stared at me for a long moment before shaking his head. “Please don’t. Hadriel is an excellent and experienced horseman. His horse is well-handled and well used to that handling. You are in no safer hands. Trust him. I wouldn’t have put you up there if I didn’t think you’d be safe.”
Hadriel straightened up, clearly preening. He’d liked the praise. Job well done.
“I’ll do better,” I told the alpha out of habit, something I’d said to Granny after every call down. It seemed to appease her, the quickest way to get me out of her angry glare.
Weston didn’t move, the glimmer in his eyes dulling. He studied me for another moment, his hand coming out to rest on the horse’s rump. Without another word, he walked back to his stallion, bending to pick up the journal he’d dropped when hopping off, then pausing to retrieve another from a little sack he had on the side of his saddle.
I turned my face to the side and leaned against Hadriel again, not wanting to watch Weston read my innermost thoughts. I went back to tracing the dicks.
“Fucking hell,” Hadriel said softly as we got moving again. “Thanks for defending me, but I thought he might brain the both of us with how you did it.” He blew out a shaky breath. “Only you would be able to calm him down like that.”
“Because I’m a captive?”
“Something like that. And yes, you’re right, there are forty-two dicks on this jacket.”
“You said there were forty-three.”
“On my person, yes.”
I paused for a moment, watching the trees slowly drift by. Darkening shadows gathered near the bases and deep within the branches. The evening waned, the light bleeding from the sky, an issue for the horses as well as me. We’d have to stop soon. My aching butt and legs could sure use the reprieve.
“On your person,” I said slowly, mulling that over before leaning back and nearly yanking my hands away. “Gross. You mean you counted your actual dick in the forty-three?”
His laughter was loud and jubilant. People glanced back, making me slouch behind him again. He didn’t mind the contact at all. He’d never once flinched away or tightened up. I could’ve been his best friend for how comfortable he was with my touch. I found I liked it—the easy, friendly closeness.
“Usually I don’t spell it out so clearly,” he said, still chuckling. “If I’m flirting, the hint is sexual. If it’s a new person in the castle, I might be more lewd.”
“But with me?”
“I’m obvious and your reaction is priceless. Welcome to debauchery, my darling. We’re going to have a whole lot of fun. Now, quit stalling. It’s your turn for a story. I told you about my scary encounter with the Mighty Vagina that had teeth. You tell me something from your life.”
His stories were so insane that they all just seemed like crass fabrications of reality, like a never-ending party with unlimited product at his disposal. He’d take my concoctions in stride. I’d told him so. They might not even be enough to compete with his past.
Then he’d mentioned addiction and dying and we agreed to disagree. Because while maybe I would allow that people were getting addicted based on their desire for the effects, they were not dying. We’d never had one fatality. Not one! It’s why I’d put in fail-safes. It’s why I’d designed the product a certain way. If people were taking hallucinogens and dying from them, they weren’t taking my product. End of story.
Hadriel hadn’t pushed like Weston always had. Instead, he listened to a story that didn’t at all relate to my village, Granny or my job. I told him about my mom finally scraping enough money together to buy a forever home for us, and how we’d created a vegetable garden and planted flowers.
“That sounds lovely,” Hadriel said when I’d finished. The light continued to decay around us. “I love flowers. I’m absolute shit at keeping them alive, but I love them.”
“I’m not great, either.”
“And where is your mom now?”
I leaned harder into him, resting my cheek on his shoulder, my fingers stilling in tracing the dicks on his jacket. “The townspeople didn’t like that we’d moved in. They used to throw things at us and call us names when we shopped. I remember someone standing on the other side of the lane from us as we walked home one day, yelling that we had no business in the shifter lands. We didn’t belong.”
“Why is that?”
“Because we had no magic.”
“Your mom was suppressed also?”
“I’m—we aren’t suppressed. She wasn’t suppressed. She didn’t have magic. She was a dud. I’m sure you’ve heard the term.”
“Riiiight...” He drew out the word. “But many people call shifters duds when that shifter is just suppressed. A strong alpha can usually pull out the animal. It doesn’t even need to be the same shifter type. A dragon pulled out my wolf.”
He’d told me stories of his animal being suppressed by the demons, their whole kingdom cursed and living without the magic that made them shifters. I believed him when he said he knew what it was like not to feel an animal inside or have the benefits of healing and strength. Weston, too, it seemed, had lived for a time without his animal.
“She went to the strongest alphas she could find to try and pull out her animal. It didn’t work. They couldn’t even feel one inside her. The last alpha apparently made me, and when she’d told him she was with child, he banished her from the kingdom.”
“Wait.” Hadriel half turned to look back at me. I clutched onto him, worried I’d slide down the side of the horse. “Wait, wait, fucking stop. Stop. Everyone just calm the fuck down.”
“What?” I glanced around but no one so much as looked over. “Are you talking to me or the horse or...?”
“Banished her from the kingdom?” Hadriel asked, still trying to turn and look at me. “That’s not a thing unless you’re royalty.”
“She was anything but royalty. She grew up poor. Her family didn’t have much, including power.”
“And the alpha that put something in instead of pulling something out?”
I spit out a laugh and then snaked my hand between us to wipe him down. “Sorry.“
“Don’t worry about that, spit is the least of the terrible substances that have been sprayed on me. Talk faster, love, I’m dying from curiosity.”
I shook my head slowly, trying to remember the scant things she’d said about it. I’d never pushed, seeing how much it hurt her.
“I don’t think the alpha was royalty, no. But she did go to the court to ask for help, and I think she was granted an audience by one of the staff or something. She was really beautiful, my mom. Really lovely. She had this... way about her. Men could be calling her a name one moment, and then asking her over the next. She never went, not that I saw. I get why. It’s demoralizing when all they want is your body and then are disgusted with themselves after they have it. I had to learn that the hard way.”
“I feel for you, love. I do actually know what that’s like. With me, it was guys influenced by the demon magic who just wanted to fuck. They didn’t care what. That’s what that magic does to you. The next day, though, when they realized they’d been with me—another man... We’ll just say that the fall-out wasn’t pleasant.”
I nodded. Different situations with the same result. I hugged him a little tighter and he put his hand over mine, sharing our pain. Sharing a moment. I felt my eyes prick with tears knowing someone understood.
“She was with the alpha from court for a few months before she realized she was pregnant. I think it blindsided her that he didn’t want me. She’d been desperately in love, and it seemed like she’d thought he was, too. When he sent her away . . . It crushed her. She couldn’t talk about it without breaking down. I think that’s why she went. He’d torn out her heart and she didn’t have the will to fight. She took the money for passage and a little coin for starting a new life and left. She rarely talked about it. It was just us after that, town to town, house to house.”
“Why did you move so often?”
“Chased out, usually. Our forever home was her finally saying she planned to stay, come hell’s fury. I think she did it for me. I hated moving. I hated having no friends and no consistency. But hell’s fury is exactly what came.” I swallowed thickly. It felt like a confessional, telling him this way, talking to his back, not seeing his eyes. It was why I continued, hopeful he would understand. Hopeful his open mind would give him some inkling of understanding this, like he had understood the other part. Because then I wouldn’t be so hopelessly alone in dealing with it. “In the middle of the night a bunch of men broke in, beat her until she couldn’t stand, and lit the house on fire with us in it.”
“Stop.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Wait. Fucking hell, give me a moment. Now, I know in the rural places people can be horrible to those suppressed. Those without magic usually move to the cities. I’d heard of this kind of brutality but as some sort of... I don’t know, urban legend. Like the way things used to be before we all had more awareness.”
“I assure you, the fear of those without magic—the raw hatred stemming from that fear—is alive and well. People in my village worried they’d lose access to their animals if I got too close.”
“Good-fucking-grief. Fine. That’s horrible, I have fucking tears in my eyes, but fine. You were in the house, though? I’ve never heard of violence toward a child, or a family with a child. Not even for this strange sort of fear-induced-mania.”
“My mom had rejected one of the guys. I think people in the town taunted him about it. ‘Can’t even get a dud to spread her legs for you, huh? What sorta man are you?’ That festered until he turned it into violence. They were killing her. I couldn’t stay hidden like she wanted.”
“What did you do?”
My breath shuddered as I sucked in air, remembering that night. Remembering my terror and emotional agony. “I got knives from the kitchen and I stabbed as many as I could. I was young—I couldn’t do enough damage. It must’ve brought them to their senses, though, because they took off. All except the main guy. He slapped me so hard I blacked out. When I came to, she was lying in a broken heap and the house was roaring with flames.”
Pain unfurled in my middle, rising up until it dragged me under. Flames danced in my memory, blood pooling, my head pounding, my heart shattering.
“I ran,” I said as sobs made my body shake. “She told me to run, so I ran. She told me to stay alive so that I could remember her. I couldn’t move her—she was too heavy. I couldn’t drag her out. Trying made her cry out and she begged me to stop. It was so hot in there. She told me to run, so I ran. I should’ve helped her. I should’ve saved her.”
“Hey, hey.” The movement under me stopped. I felt Hadriel’s hands grip mine and hug them awkwardly, pulling me tighter against his back. “It’s okay. Listen, you’re not going to like this, but let him comfort you. It’ll help the best, okay? Give in to his comfort. Trust me.”
“Give her to me,” I heard, the voice heavy with command.
“No,” I said weakly as strong arms pulled me from the horse and crushed me close.
“Give in to it, just this once,” Hadriel said, and because his tone was riddled with pain on my behalf, and because I truly felt like he was trying to help, I did. I relaxed against the alpha as he carried me to the side, barking orders at his people to stop here for the night and set up camp.
“I’m here,” he cooed, his tone deep and comforting, his arms tight around me. “It’s okay to let go.”
Leaves brushed my hair as I buried my face into his neck. He carried us into the trees and away from the noise of the others. I heaved with sobs.
“Let go,” he coaxed, still walking us away until I couldn’t hear the clamor and chatter of the pack. Until all that existed was us and the surrounding nature scene, the birds singing overhead and little critters scurrying out of the way.
“I couldn’t help but overhear your story,” Weston said, his voice so soft, his embrace firm. “She wanted you to live, above all else. That’s why you had to run. You had to, for her. You did it for her. It was brave.”
He sat, situating me on his lap before rocking me gently, his cheek resting on my head. I cried against his chest, the electricity buzzing between us, a soft warmth throbbing in my middle. That strange mind- and mood-altering drug I felt when he was near helped me now, grounding me in the moment. It seemed to help smooth out the pain, rounding out the corners and sanding away the worst of the agony.
“I miss her,” I whispered, tears soaking into his shirt. “I miss her so much.” He rubbed my back as he rocked me. “I still wake up with nightmares. I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve tried harder.”
“She must’ve known you would’ve died trying. She wanted to save you. I’m sure it gave her great comfort that you lived.”
I was quiet for a long time. Crickets began their slow, mournful throb. Emberflies filtered in around us. An owl hooted somewhere overhead.
“If I think about it,” I finally ventured, “I know that you’re right. I did as she said, and I cherish her memory because I know that’s what she would’ve wanted. But when I think of that scared little girl that left her mommy to die?—”
His arms constricted around me. “Let’s forget our situation for the moment. What can I do? How can I help?”
“Make love to me. Give me a distraction to help pull me out of the darkness.”
I’d said it before I’d thought about it, and then fell into it once I had. He wasted no time, but he wasn’t fervent like before. He kissed me deeply, standing with me to remove my clothing and then his own. His movements weren’t frenzied or stormy but slow and gentle, methodical. Comforting. He pulled me with him as he walked backward, our lips devouring each other, the feel of his body stealing my focus until all I knew was him, his taste, the feel of his embrace. He settled in a soft, mossy spot without breaking our kiss, directing my thighs to either side of his. He ran his cock along my wetness before wrapping me in his arms and pulling me down onto him.
His groan matched my own, the sensations heaven. Without regret, without thinking about my oath to stay away from him or what I might feel about our situation tomorrow, I began rocking my hips over him, taking him deep and then stroking back. His breath became labored, his hands all over me, mine on him. The base of his cock began to swell, butting up against me.
“Do you want it, Little Wolf?” he murmured against my lips, his tone tender.
“Yes.” It wasn’t even a question.
I ground down onto him while working my clit. He growled, his teeth raking up the side of my neck and his lips stopping at the shell of my ear.
“Mine,” he said possessively, pulling down on my shoulders as he lifted his hips, fucking his knot into me.
Tingles worked up my spine as he continued to swell, his movements different now, grinding it deeper, locking us together. Being so new to his size meant an inkling of pain still registered along the edges of my awareness, but I didn’t care. I was so wet it dribbled down between us.
“That’s right, baby,” he groaned, holding me tightly so that I couldn’t get away. One of his hands fisted in my hair, his teeth raked my neck again. “Take it. Take your alpha’s knot and keep all my cum locked deep inside of you like a good girl.”
Holy fuck, I loved when he talked dirty.
“Fuck it into me,” I moaned, joining in, throwing my head back. “Mark me as you fuck it into me.”
The sensations expanded as he did, overwhelming me. He adjusted so that he was on his knees, my legs around his waist, my arms around his shoulders. He rolled his hips and twisted me, his cock deep, his teeth at my neck. His arms still held me, his strength and power wrapped around me possessively, his hold firm but gentle.
“Do you like when I fuck that sweet little pussy?” The language sent me spiraling.
“Yes,” I groaned, moving on him with abandon. “Please . . . almost . . . there . . .”
His movements were small but so fucking perfect. I kept building, so high I started gyrating wildly. A flash of pain stole my breath and he crushed me to him, one hand on my ass and the other tangled in my hair—keeping me from hurting myself by pulling away. The swell of his cock had trapped me on his dick. Even if I’d wanted to escape, I wouldn’t have been able to. I was completely at his mercy. For some reason that made me vibrate with indescribable pleasure.
“Please . . . I need . . . to come,” I panted through labored breaths.
His lips were near my ear, my body in his control. He relieved one hand from my back and circled my clit with his fingers before giving it a sharp tug.
“Holy—” I cried out as I shuddered against him. My pussy tightened around his cock with the waves of my climax and a moment later he groaned, filling me with heat like he’d promised.
The thought made me start building again, wanting my alpha’s seed lodged deep, the need primal and maybe a little nasty but fucking delicious at the same time. I’d never been talked to like this, or pumped and gyrated so hard just to hear the wet sounds of sex we made. It was perfection, consuming.
“That’s right, baby,” he said as I neared another orgasm. “Use me. Think about nothing else but this. Get lost in the moment.”
Feeling grateful, I did exactly that. When the next orgasm came, I rode it with exquisite shudders, then did the same with the next, his knot pulsing all the while. The swell didn’t diminish as I worked, his body holding strong during my need.
By the time I’d exhausted myself, full night had settled around us. His dick still lay huge and heavy within me, but the pulse had slowed. He held me tightly, leaning back against a trunk so that I could lay across his chest.
Emberflies drifted around us, more than I’d ever seen. Their lazy movement through the air was mesmerizing. Ethereal.
“How long can you stay like this?” I asked, my eyelids heavy, his warmth radiating around me.
“As long as you need.”
“No, I mean your cock. How long will it... lock us together?”
He was quieter this time. “As long as you need.”
“I didn’t think you had control over it.”
“I don’t. My body is responding to yours, I think.”
I sat up and scanned his face. “I didn’t know that was how it worked.”
Weston shook his head slowly. “Me either, but here we are. You have a need. It seems my body’s response is to fulfill that need for as long as you require. My cock has never lasted longer than a half-hour after completion, max. Yet last night it lasted over an hour and didn’t subside until you’d passed out. I’d been worried you’d drain all my fluids before you were finally done with me.”
I stared at him mutely, wanting to argue. I wanted to accuse him of trying to put last night on me again. But right now, his body inside mine felt too good and I didn’t want to jeopardize losing it. Right now, I did have a need, and I did want him to fulfill it. Whether it was my doing or his, I didn’t really care.
I laid back down against his chest. He rubbed my back gently, gliding his fingers along my skin. His release of breath seemed tranquil. Maybe he needed this, too. Maybe it was both of us responding to each other in this moment, forgetting the horrible outside world.
“Do you want to stay here, or would you rather settle in a bed?” he asked as I watched the emberflies.
“Are you uncomfortable?”
“I’m not worried about me.”
He must’ve been, though, on his knees, leaning back against a tree with no real support, his muscles bulging to keep the position. If I hadn’t known anything else about him, I’d think he was a true gentleman. A saint, maybe, sacrificing his own comfort to ensure I was looked after. Someone that would put my needs above his own.
Sadly, that was the stuff of fairy tales, and my life was anything but. In reality, he was just ensuring I didn’t have a breakdown before he delivered me to the dragons.
I pushed off his chest and pulled the back of his neck to get him upright again. At least I could relish in the journey before the harsh light of day burned away all the pixie dust.
“One more,” I murmured, pushing my breast toward his mouth. He sucked in the peak, swirling his tongue and making my eyes roll into the back of my head. “Then bed,” I whispered.
If he was allowing me to control this, I’d get my fill. His cock now, and then his body wrapped around mine protectively as though I was some sort of priceless treasure he was scared to let leave his sight.
If I was going to dream, I’d dream big.