23. Aurelia
Chapter 23
So sure, I’d gotten a little carried away last night and ended up with marks all down my neck, one on my inner thigh, and one on my forearm of all places. I needed to stop taking his knot so that I could slip away when needed, but last night any sort of restraint had been lost almost immediately. I’d wanted to ignore my life . . .but then accidentally slipped into insanity a little bit.
Telling him to make me his? I’d done that right out of the gate. What kind of fool was I? If he claimed me, I’d be fucked. With all his power, people would immediately know the caliber of wolf scented to my body. If his people were looking for me, it wouldn’t be hard to track me down. Oh, the dingy woman with the powerful mark? Yeah, I saw her run down that alleyway just there.
Stealing things? Forget about it. If people didn’t actually see me slipping from here to there, they’d smell me. Correction: they’d smell him, the alpha of all alphas. The commander.
Another suitor? Laughable. I might not even get someone willing to pull out my magic.
Bottom line, I needed to stop asking him to mark me. To make me his.
I certainly needed to avoid ever telling him again that I belonged to him, regardless of how fucking hot that had been at the time and how fucking hard I had come.
At one point, the lava had flowed down my chest again. I’d tried to push him just that much harder so as to release my animal. Unfortunately, he was ironclad in his control. The man had things locked down. I needed to appeal to the wolf, which the man clearly knew because in the days following our coupling, his wolf had never been even remotely close to me.
Fucking Weston.
The following days did at least go a bit easier on the horse. I got to ride with Hadriel again and got much better at hanging on. Weston picked through my journals, randomly twisting to look back at me as we traveled. I could never tell if it was because of something he’d read, or because he wanted to make sure I hadn’t jumped off and started sprinting away. He used a pencil, making notes and dog-earing pages. Every time I noticed, I had to look away. The good thing was it constantly reminded me of our status—jailor and prisoner.
I started assisting with dinner every night, often taking over soon after we started. I even orchestrated digging a pit where we would roast a wild pig in the ground overnight. The next morning, we had some for breakfast and then stored the rest for the first fireless dinner that night. It was a fan favorite and soon so was I. People nodded at me and called me chef. They began sitting down to dinner with Hadriel and me or stopped to chat as camp was getting setup or taken down. I’d never felt so included in my life. I hated to give it up.
I reminded myself, though, that even if I were to stay on, this wouldn’t be forever. We were traveling now and making the best of it. They were on a break from their usual routine, and I was another odd thing in this new situation. If I was brought to the castle to stand in judgment, this easy camaraderie would quickly dry up. They’d go back to their lives and I’d go to the dungeon. Whatever my outcome, this moment in time was just that—a moment. Temporary.
The good news was that all evidence of our lurkers had seemed to dry up. The sentries hadn’t spotted anything during our travels or at night. The wolves doing sweeps for smells or tracks didn’t, either. I never felt Alexander’s or anyone else’s presence. It was like they collected what was left of their patrol and buggered off.
That fact made me wonder if the product Granny sold was actually mine. I mean, I knew she sold my stuff, but maybe it wasn’t the product these people were talking about. Hadriel had mentioned that the others didn’t think it looked exactly like mine, and the stuff I’d snuck him hadn’t made him crave more or feel sick in any way. Basically, it had had no lasting effects—like I kept saying.
Not like I could use that as proof. Even if they did believe me—which I doubted would ever happen—they’d know I’d snuck other product. I couldn’t allow myself to be searched. Tonight was the night. It was time to go.
Our winding trip through the countryside was at an end. Our route would now straighten out as we neared a large town, headed toward the sea.
To get out of camp, I’d rely on the bits and pieces of information I’d collected about Weston’s perimeter guard. Hadriel had been the most helpful, always happy to chat away merrily whenever I asked a question. Once, I’d overheard the others talking to Weston about it, and last night Weston had been grumbling about the setup, not knowing I was already in the tent. I roughly knew the formation. It would be enough to slip through if I was agile and quiet.
I really hoped I could be agile and quiet.
Weston had even started letting me carry my bag from my village so that I could collect plants and colorful rocks along the way. Apparently, he’d found it along the path to Granny’s and had hung onto it. I didn’t give a shit about rocks and those plants were useless, but he didn’t know that. I just needed the bag and a reason to keep it. I would empty everything out before I left and replace it with things I could use.
My lantern was brought into the tent every night and used for us to see by. I’d requested it because it shut off on its own. Neither of us would have to get up to turn it off after we were finished with whatever we were doing, which was usually having sex. I’d grab that once I was ready to head out, though hopefully I wouldn’t need it much. The sky was clear and moon almost full. I should have plenty of light to see by. The only thing left to do, besides spring the plan into action, was to say goodbye.
“Heya, chef.” A man named John nodded at me as I made my way toward the cooking station.
I’d been granted a small fire tonight, one single line of smoke that would not be unusual for this area, so close to a large town.
“Hey,” I replied, smiling at him.
Only Sylvester waited near the cooking station, working at getting the flames going. The rest of the pack would be out hunting, most of their meals lately eaten in wolf form. Weston would bring back a fresh kill for me so that I could eat. He was the only one allowed to do so. It didn’t take a genius to know why. His marks had faded and he’d given me no new ones in the past few days, but he was still making his claim. I was his. He’d provide my meals and keep me close at night to protect me.
Shivers worked through my body every time I thought of it. That, and the other nice things he did for me—like give me massages when traveling made me stiff, clearing my empty plate or bowl, helping me up or letting me lean on him—had constantly made my resolve wobble.
If only this had been a different life. Maybe just a different situation. Wouldn’t that be a dream? A strong alpha staking his claim on me, providing for me, protecting me. If I could ignore that he was my jailor, suppressed my magic, and continually dragged me toward my punishment, I would daydream him being my rescuer. Or a handsome prince come to take me away to a charmed life full of love and laughter.
But no, in his eyes I was still a drug maker, a killer of innocents. Dragon food.
It was definitely time to go.
“Sylvester, how was today’s ride?” I asked as I neared. He’d get leftovers from the other wolves, way more than he could ever eat. We’d then spend the evening cooking and cutting the offerings into appetizers so that everyone could get a taste. It was clearly why they brought so much.
“I’m tired of trees,” he groused. “Trees for days. It didn’t take us half as long to get to that village. I want a town with lively music and a pretty little barmaid to sit on my lap.”
“Does that happen?” I helped prepare the meager vegetables we had left and the roots I’d found at our lunch stop. “Do barmaids really sit on your lap?”
“They do when I tip them well.”
We worked in silence for a moment. Someone brought us a pot of water before wandering away again.
“I didn’t see a tavern in your village.” Sylvester straightened from his crouch with a wince. He looked to be in his mid-forties but sometimes he acted much older. “Did you not have one?”
“No. I think there may have been one when I first arrived, but it went under at some point. I don’t much remember those early years.”
“What did you guys do for entertainment?”
I wiped my forehead with my forearm, scooping up the chopped vegetables and putting them into the pot. “I didn’t ever have time for entrainment. I ate, I worked, I slept. Whatever time I used for art or writing or my flowers came out of sleep or work time. Other people gathered together, though. They had dances occasionally and I often heard laughter and what not when I walked home from work. People provided entertainment for each other.”
“You were never invited?”
“I don’t have magic—” My words hitched. “Or, you know, I thought I didn’t. They thought I didn’t, which I think is more important. They didn’t invite me around.” I shrugged. “I didn’t have time, anyway. It was nice to hear the laughter on my way home.”
He shook his head as the first person arrived with meat. He was careful to reach around me and hand it to Sylvester.
“I heard you learned about...” He twirled his pointer finger in my general direction. “You know. The thing. With the alpha.” He cleared his throat. “We’re not really supposed to talk about it.”
“I’ll talk about it. Apparently, he knew I had magic the whole time and didn’t say anything. It took his wolf accidentally pulling said animal halfway out, and me confronting him about it, for him to ‘fess up. And he didn’t even really ‘fess up at first! If I hadn’t been watching his face closely, I would’ve missed the little eye flicker. ‘Little Wolf,’ he calls me. Clearly that means I’ve got a wolf hiding in me somewhere. I can’t meet her, though, because?—”
I made an exasperated sound and cut myself off. There was no point in venting. It wouldn’t change anything. I needed to find someone to help me, and that person wouldn’t be in this camp.
“No, I meant—oh gods. Aurelia!” Sylvester snatched my wrist and held up my hand. Only then did I realize I’d nicked myself. “Shit. Here, let’s put water on it.”
“It’s fine, honestly.” I tried to pull my hand away.
“It’s bleeding all over! It must be deep. Here?—”
He wrestled the knife out of my other hand and grabbed the pot with the vegetables.
“Don’t you ruin that food with my blood.” I yanked my hand.
“Doesn’t that hurt? Stop struggling, I’m trying to help you!”
“What is going on?” Weston’s voice slid deliciously across my flesh.
He walked in our direction, his movements fluid but hurried. Crimson smears crossed his bare torso and down one of his legs. His eyes were feral, vicious.
Sylvester let go of me and put his hands up, backing away. “I was only trying to help her, Alpha. She cut herself.”
“It’s fine, seriously.” I looked around for something to use to stop the flow of blood. “It’s just a little nick. I’ll live.”
“She didn’t even seem to notice it.” Sylvester licked his lips in trepidation, gaze rooted to my hand.
“I cut myself all the time. Get as many beatings as I have, and you don’t sweat the small stuff,” I joked. Neither of the men cracked a smile. “No, but seriously, I barely feel it. Honestly. It doesn’t even hurt. My pain tolerance is pretty extreme.”
Weston reached for me, his movements so fast I thought he’d snatch at my wrist. Instead, his fingers wrapped around me delicately and he stepped closer, looking down on the cut. Bright crimson seeped over the edge of my pointer finger, dripping onto the work station.
“It won’t kill me,” I said, my words having zero effect on these guys. “Weston, honestly?—“
I cut myself off with a moan as he sucked my finger into his mouth. His eyes weren’t on fire, though—they were concerned.
“Fuck, even your blood tastes good,” he muttered a moment later as he stepped forward and reached, grabbing Sylvester’s shirt and ripping it off his body. “Make a couple strips from that,” he ordered Sylvester.
He again sucked away the blood on my finger before wrapping it tightly in one of the proffered strips.
“You didn’t need to ruin his shirt,” I whined, watching him tie off the fabric. “You guys are really overreacting here.”
“You didn’t feel that cut?” Weston demanded, in my space, his anger raw and wild.
I gulped. “No, honestly. I really do cut myself all the time.” I showed him my other hand. “I have the scars to show for it. Look.”
He did, turning my hand over and tracing one of the scars on my palm with his thumb. “You not feeling pain—is that because of what Granny has done to you?”
“Alexander gave me the beatings. You’ve already made it clear that you read about it in the journals.”
“This needs to be voiced in the present. You need to hear it and let it sink in. Granny ordered those beatings, right? The ones that took you to the brink?”
I knew anger swirled in my eyes as I stared at him mutely. Anguish swirled in my gut, his words poking at the brutal truth that my whole life had been a carefully constructed and maintained fabrication. I didn’t want to dissect this now. I couldn’t allow the reality of my past to disrupt my goals in the present, which were to escape, to claim my magic, and attempt to find safety in obscurity.
He nodded, knowing he was getting to me. “They beat you so often and so badly that you don’t feel pain, Aurelia.” He held up my hand. “This cut is deep. It should be throbbing. It should hurt badly. Hold onto Granny as family, fine, but beating someone within an inch of their life is not the action of someone who loves you.”
I ripped my hand away, breaking that little bit more. “What the fuck do you care? Worried I’ll spoil the goods for your dragons? That they won’t have an able body to punish?”
His jaw clenched. He didn’t respond.
“Yeah, you and your precious duty. Concerned about me as you march me toward death. That makes real sense.” I unwrapped the strip of fabric, already soaked through, and grabbed another. “Let’s not forget, my tolerance for pain enabled me to take your knot the first time,” I seethed, wrapping a “clean” strip around it. Who knew how long this shirt had been worn by a man who usually sweat over open fires. “You remember, when you were trying to punish me with it? You could help me cure this right now. Just pull out my animal and I’ll have access to faster healing.”
His eyes were the customary granite. He didn’t respond.
I issued a sardonic laugh, holding my hand out for Sylvester to tie the strip of fabric.
“Fuck off, why don’t you,” I spat at Weston. “Keep your fucking kill. I’ll eat vegetables and leftovers. Or nothing at all, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve gone without plenty of times. Doing it here or in my village makes no difference. It’s a cage all the same, just a different tyrant as my jailor.”
Pain—regret?—flashed in his eyes. He stared at me for another tense beat. It was to Sylvester he finally spoke. “Get someone to properly clean and sew up that finger.”
He strode away, parting the crowd that had gathered, everyone with bits of meat in their hands. They watched him silently, their gazes then swinging back to me, having heard all.
I didn’t care, but I needed to. In order to get out of here tonight, we had to follow the same routine we had the last few nights. I’d need to apologize to him and make it believable. He needed to drink his glass of wine as we chatted in the tent. If we didn’t stick to that routine, there was no way I’d be able to escape.
I wanted to cry in frustration with the unfairness of it all. It didn’t matter, though. One final “good girl” act and I could go. Fuck him and his hypocrisy.
“I can deal with my finger later,” I said, taking up the knife again. “Your shirt is already ruined. There’s plenty of fabric in it.”
“But you’re bleeding pretty heavily.”
“I’m bleeding from a finger, Sylvester. Get ahold of yourself. I’m not going to bleed out from a cut in my finger.”
He didn’t argue and Weston didn’t come back to force the issue. In fact, he didn’t come back at all. Sylvester and I finished dinner, me ignoring absolutely everyone who told me I didn’t need to make them anything, that I should sit down, that someone should take a look at my finger. I sampled items as I prepared them and the person who told me to eat what the alpha had killed never opened his mouth to me again. It had just been a look, but that look promised plenty of violence. I was at my wits end—with this journey, with my life. All of it.
It was only when all the food was cooked that I allowed the pack to baby me, to sit me down and hand me water and look at my finger.
“Gross. Love, that’s deep,” Hadriel said, massaging my shoulders as he peered at my finger. He’d stayed right behind me all through dinner, watching me closely, helping with anything he could. He didn’t utter a word, not telling me to sit down or to stop, just supporting me in case I should need something.
To say my heart had swelled during all this would’ve been an understatement. I hoped someday, when I had a different identity and life, that maybe I could see some of them again. Maybe we could reunite and reforge the bond we were creating on this journey.
Or maybe I tended to make everyone into family whether that was their intention or not, even those who wanted to hurt me. It was a hard truth to face. A hard reality that constantly threatened to spill tears.
“You really didn’t feel it?” the woman doctoring me asked, bent over my finger as the blood welled up. It wasn’t bleeding nearly as much as before.
“She didn’t even know she’d done it.” Sylvester stood behind her, looking down on the proceedings.
The woman looked up at me, her gaze intense. “You need a few stitches. I don’t have anything to reduce the pain. We’ve used it all and we haven’t had a chance to get more.”
“Would any of your product work?” Hadriel asked, his fingers stilling on my shoulders.
“It’s fine, really. We don’t have anything to dull pain in the village. Granny thought we should endure the effects of our punishments from beginning to end.”
“Fuck that place,” someone murmured.
The woman doctoring me just shook her head. “Do we need to hold you down? Do you want a leather strip for your teeth?”
I laughed. “Just get it done, will you? This is taking forever.”
She did, and while I felt the gouge of the needle, I never flinched or pulled away. I hadn’t been lying—this was not a unique situation, and as someone who didn’t heal quickly, I’d had to have stitches from time to time.
After it was over and my finger was wrapped in gauze, the group around me sat back and collectively heaved a sigh of relief.
“How long will it take to heal?” someone asked.
“It’s clear you’ve never been suppressed. It’ll take ages,” Hadriel told him before sitting in beside me. “Now, darling, what will lighten your mood?”
“How about a couple stories, and then I think I’ll get some wine for me and the alpha and head to bed.”
Hadriel’s eyebrow arched but he didn’t comment. He launched into a raunchy tale, many people hanging around to listen and interject, the evenings apparently a lot more lively for him with me here. Looser, he’d said. He’d even gotten into the pants of someone he’d been pining after. He’d never dwelled on it long enough to really explain, though, and once he started a new story, I was swept up and forgot to ask.
Now I listened to him sadly. I would miss him. It had been such a short time, but I realized I’d liked him from the get-go.
The night waned and finally I knew it was time. I felt my eagerness to get going and finally claim a future for myself rising. I would still be running away like the last time I’d had to set out on my own, but this time I wasn’t scared. I was older now, more experienced. Better at lying. Besides, if I could survive at twelve, I had to be able to survive at twenty-seven.
“Let’s get you that wine.” Hadriel rose with me, not rushing me when I gave a few lingering goodnights. He reached under the cleaned-off table we used for food prep and grabbed the half-bottle left over from the night before. Everyone knew not to touch the alpha’s stash.
“Thank you, Hadriel.” I hugged him tightly. “For everything.”
He handed over the cups and then held onto my upper arms, holding my gaze. “You were never meant to be in a cage, even one that hands out orgasms like they’re silver nickels.” He squeezed my arms. “Take care of yourself, my darling. Be careful. From the back of the tent, aim southwest for a half mile. Then watch out for yourself. The town will be beyond.”
“Wh-what?” I asked stupidly.
“Please leave him alive. Remember what I said? Our kingdom needs him.”
“I...” I licked my lips, my heart racing at his intuitiveness. “I’m just going to bed.”
“Aurelia, just so you know, he doesn’t want this duty, anymore. He’s been leaving a hole in his sentries every night. It leads directly to your tent. Whether he means to or if his wolf is somehow hiding that fact from him, there has always been a way out for you, and a way in for danger. He wants to let you run free, and he will face the danger head-on to give you that opportunity. He’s not a bad man—exactly the opposite, actually—he’s just in a bad situation. Visit one of the drug riddled neighborhoods and see for yourself. There is a reason we’re here, and Granny’s clues all point at you. If you could shift the blame where it belonged, none of us would be in this mess.”
He hugged me again and kissed my cheek and I could hardly speak after what I’d heard. Weston had been leaving me a way out? Even if subconsciously, it meant there was a part of him that did care what happened to me. Part of him that was pushing back against duty, against everything he thought he stood for, to see me safe. I didn’t know how to feel, or what to say.
That Hadriel had known all this time, only telling me when he intuited I was finally ready to leave... It was all too much.
“How did you know?” I finally asked, my voice barely a whisper.
His grin was sly. “I guarded the dragon queen, which really just amounted to flying by the seat of my pants as she did what she pleased. I recognize danger, and I recognize a person hellbent on surviving. With you, it was only a matter of time.”
“Yet you didn’t say anything.”
“Of course I didn’t say anything,” he said, scandalized. “I don’t snitch. Besides, I’ve tried a few of your products over the last few days. You’re exactly right—they’re tame. I mean, they’re fun, don’t get me wrong. Last night I had a great time wandering through the trees. Apparently one of the sentries got a lot of entertainment watching me. It was like a really cool dreamscape. Anyway, some of that stuff seems almost medicinal. Whatever is sold in the market has been altered. It’s giving you a bad name, as I said.” He lifted his eyebrows. “If I were you, I’d be pissed.”
“How’d you get more of my product?”
He huffed. “I don’t help out simply because I’m a nice guy. You think you’re the only one with quick hands?”
I chuckled, my eyes tearing up. “I’m going to miss you.”
“This isn’t forever, Finley—sorry, Aurelia. How embarrassing. I just see so much of her in you. In your wilder parts, I mean. You’re a lot more balanced than a dragon. It’s been a real pleasure. I hardly ever have to be on my toes.”
“I’m not sure that’s a compliment.”
“Trust me, darling, it is. Now run along. Your alpha went without dinner tonight. If I’m not mistaken, he’s hating himself for how he’s treated you. It won’t be hard to make up with him.” He tilted his head at me. “Remember, don’t kill him. I’m counting on you.”
I was intensely curious to meet a dragon. They sounded crazy.
I paused in a little corner of shadow near the tent, setting things down and pouring the wine. Weston’s glass got an extra ingredient, and I left the bottle where it lay. Someone could grab it in the morning.
He sat where he had the last few nights, journal open as usual, no pencil to take notes this time. He was still reading, engrossed, his legs crossed and clothes rumpled.
“Hey,” I said, putting the cups down so I could close the tent flap. It was time to make the apology that I didn’t feel.
He shut the journal and glanced up, his gaze open and eyes haunted. “Hey,” he replied, holding out the journal.
Confused, I picked up the wine glasses, handing him his before taking the journal. I took a sip of mine before sitting down next to him.
“Is this a terrible memory? I’m really not in the mood for one of those.”
“It’s the last memory you wrote. You thought I was the product of your imagination. An effect of a drug.”
I definitely wasn’t in the mood for rehashing that night.
I sighed. “The product of a flower. My favorite flower, if that makes you feel any better.”
“I wondered why you gave in to a stranger coming out of the shadows.” He paused, expectant. “Don’t you want to know why I did it? Why I walked out of those shadows to you?”
“Honestly, no, I don’t. If it’s okay, I’d like to just have a few quiet moments together and then go to bed. I’m sorry for the things I said?—“
“Don’t do that,” he replied, his voice so soft, his gaze pointed at his feet. He took a big gulp of his wine. “Don’t say something you don’t mean. Not to me.”
My heart hurt even though it shouldn’t. I looked away. “Okay.”
“I am sorry, Aurelia. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for how your life has gone up until this exact moment and I’m sorry for whatever will follow. I’d thought the demon dungeons were my penance for decisions I’ve made, but maybe it is this situation with you that is my true punishment.”
I furrowed my brow, now trying to read his face. “I don’t understand. Why go through with it if you don’t want to?”
He slouched a little, the first time I’d seen him do so. “Because it is the only way I will be able to live with myself.” He drained his cup dry and then held it up. “I am assuming your products didn’t suddenly become dangerous, correct? Will this kill me?”
I stared at him with a slack jaw, then I was back to stammering. “I— That’s just— What?”
“Will it?” he whispered. “I will need to write out instructions for the others if so, and you’ll need to hurry. I assume Hadriel told you the best way to get out? He’s been watching me pretty closely. It’s no secret that he likes you and thinks my treatment of you is unjust. He’s not nearly as mediocre as he likes to claim, he just has to want to do a job to do it superbly.”
I was struck mute. I’d been so careful, so sneaky.
His smile was sad. He put his hand to my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin. “I watch everything you do, Little Wolf. Every movement, replaying every detail when you’re not near me. I can’t help myself, I’m a man enraptured. You’ve been more calculated these last few days. I knew the storm was coming, and tonight was the final straw. I saw it in your face, in your bearing.”
He could read me so easily.
“You took product the other night, right?” he asked. “You’ve been keeping it on your person? Or in your bag?” He waited for my nod, not much more than slightly tilting my head. “Will it kill me?”
“You took it without knowing that answer? How’d you know it was even in there?”
“It is not tasteless, whatever it was. I’ve been expecting your retaliation. I have a lot to answer for. You’re a woman who needs help, needs kindness. I felt that the first time I met you. I have given you neither. I’ve torn into your life and told you to shoulder the fallout while I marched you to your doom. My actions have been unforgivable. My wolf is no longer speaking to me. But please, I need to make preparations if this will kill me. There’s the pack to think about.”
I shook my head slowly, recognizing the sadness in his tone, his eyes.
I set my wine down. “It won’t. It’s just a sleeping agent. Why are you letting me go?”
“I’m letting you go because it is the right thing to do. You’re right, things aren’t adding up. I am certain you are telling the truth and your journals are further proof. Product is definitely coming out of your village, but it is getting a makeover. How and where, I don’t know, but Granny must have changed the properties of the product. With Hadriel’s prompting, several people have tried your creations in those crates. They informed me of this earlier tonight, after you cut your finger. I think Hadriel wanted to prove your story and as the others got to know you, they wanted to help. No one has felt sick or even dizzy. No one has had a craving for more. Someone took it yesterday while we were traveling and I didn’t even notice. That is not the case with product sold at market.”
“Honestly, they might crave it if they keep at it. It can be habit forming if they do it enough.”
“That’s the thing—in the market, it might take just twice before people begin chomping at the bit. Or they die. It is those scenarios that brought me to your village, but you are naive to both. I can’t, in good conscience, hold you any longer. I won’t, in good conscience, deliver you back to that village, for your sake and theirs. You need to be set free.”
“Why are you allowing yourself to be slipped a sleeping agent instead of just wishing me well and watching me walk away?”
“Because Granny’s drugs have killed people dear to those in this pack. Some still want you hanged as a representative of Granny’s organization. They are not moved by your circumstances. They want our duty fulfilled. This will appease them. We’ll go hunting for you tomorrow. Hopefully, we will not find you”—his eyes lit with determination and pain—“and we’ll start working on finding this other organization. I just ask that you please stop production.”
Hadriel was right, Weston had been giving me an opening with which to walk away. He was letting me go even though it went against the commands he’d been given by his royal crown. He’d known, and accepted, what I’d planned to do. He was pushing back against his duty. For me.
Conflicting emotions roiled within me. He was ready to sacrifice his life to help me take control of mine. Thank you wasn’t enough—he’d listened; he was protecting me in the only way he could. He was granting my freedom and allowing me a future.
Sorrow filled me at the realization that this was where it would have to end between us. I couldn’t express my newfound admiration for this alpha. For this man. I couldn’t express the regret that our journey had started so dark and had to end so bittersweetly.
“Clearly I can’t read you as well as you can read me,” I said, scooting closer and leaning against his chest. “I had no idea you knew any of this. And I said such awful things to you.”
“They were true, all of them. I needed to hear them. Everyone needed to hear them. Lastly, about your animal, and then I’ll need to head to bed because the agent is starting to work. Note for the future, I would’ve had time to tie you up before this drug took hold. You’d want to get your captor really good and drunk before you slipped him this.”
“We would’ve been in bed dozing off by now if you hadn’t thrown me for a loop.”
He smiled, so handsome. “That makes sense.” He resumed his seriousness, talking faster. “Any decent alpha can pull out your animal. You have a lot of power. For anyone looking, it’s a shining beacon pulsing inside of you. Wait to ask someone to do it, though. I know that is a lot to ask, but it will be dangerous for you to expose your animal without the correct backup. A lone wolf packing that kind of power, without training and with your extravagant beauty, would always need to watch herself, but in this kingdom they’ll hear about you and rope you in whether you want it or not. Let my past be a lesson. There are many types of cages, and some of them are gilded, but they are cages nonetheless. Keep that animal bottled up until you have powerful protection or are on the shores of another kingdom—maybe a fairy kingdom. A strong fae can easily pull out your magic. You’ll have the life you’ve always wanted. Now, let’s get to bed. Can I undress you now that you’ve used what was hidden in your pockets?”
My eyes teared and the breath left me. “You knew about that, too.” My heart ached to hear these truths, to realize the lengths he would go to in order to make amends.
“As I said, I can’t help but watch you. It’s like you dance with each movement. It’s so beautiful. I wish I could see your wolf. She’ll be so graceful, I bet. So sleek. The beauty to my brawn.”
“You’re plenty beautiful,” I said, closing my eyes as he pushed up my shirt and circled a nipple with his tongue.
“Yeah, we gotta hurry. This thing is taking me down fast. Strip yourself, love, I want to feel your skin against mine one last time before this takes me under.”
We barely got him settled before his eyes began drifting shut.
“Please, find happiness,” he whispered, already breathing deeply. “Stay safe, and find your happily ever after.”