35. Aurelia
Chapter 35
“Hey, baby. Time to wake up.”
I blinked my eyes open and stared at the low ceiling in my field of vision. My eyes were crusted with sleep and my body ached in an all-too-familiar way. Fucking Alexander. He really did know how to make punishments last.
“Time to get going,” Weston said softly, one knee on the soft mattress and hands on either side of me. He peered down into my face. “The salve helped some. The swelling in your eye has gone down.” He paused. “A little.”
“Hmm.” I thought about stretching. Thought better of it, that was.
He’d already dressed and I smelled food not far away. No light filtered through the half-curtained window, part of it ripped and tattered. The bath area and entrance were quite fine, but the rooms left something to be desired.
“Okay.” I stared at the ceiling a little longer. Usually my punishments back home would afford me the day after to lay in bed and do absolutely nothing. It always hurt too much to get moving. I’d be given no such quarter here. I said as much.
“Once the ship departs, you’ll have the better part of five days to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, I promise.” He lightly traced his fingertips along my jaw. “Is there anything I can do to make it better?”
“Stop allowing me to be a baby about it?” I rolled onto my side, wanting to cry out as I did so, and then pushed up to a sitting position. I’d laid on my back last night; it hurt to be any other way. He’d been on his side, facing me, his hand touching my shoulder or my belly or my thigh, but always touching. It was comforting. Too bad it didn’t chase the ache away.
“I brought us up something to eat.” He put his hand on the back of a single chair facing a tiny table against the wall. “I already ate mine. While you eat and get ready, I’m going to go back down and make sure we’re ready to depart. Can you ride today, or will?—“
He cut off at my shaking head.
“Okay, I’ll have you walk back with Hadriel. I’m going to have to ride out of here.”
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and then gingerly got up. “What am I wearing? Same thing as yesterday?”
“Yes. We had to bribe our way through the port so we didn’t get an inspection. I didn’t want them finding your product. Once the merchandise is on, it’s a lot of hassle to remove things again.”
He helped me dress and then sit down before he kissed my head and left the room. I could tell he was excited to leave, to get underway and get home.
Nervousness rippled through me, but I tried to ignore it, scooping up eggs and staring at the wall as I ate. Normal people would be wondering if this next destination would be their forever home. They’d wonder how they’d like it and if they’d settle in okay. Maybe even how they’d afford a place to live and how to go about getting a job.
I wondered if I was about to sail to my place of death. I would face judgment, and even though the people of this pack didn’t blame me, I couldn’t imagine a king and queen being so lenient. I wasn’t so lenient.
And if I wasn’t going to die? Then I’d worry about all those other things.
Still, it was better than staying here. Alexander would never stop trying to get his hands on me. It wasn’t much of a silver lining, but it was enough to help me finish up and keep the food down.
I was back to lying on the bed when Weston returned. The sound of the key turning in the lock had me realizing belatedly he’d locked me in. I ached too much to question it or even mention that, if I’d planned to run, I wouldn’t be doing it very quickly. They’d catch me without much hassle.
“Ready?” He helped me up and moved me toward the door. “Almost there.”
“We haven’t left the inn yet.”
“And when we do, we’ll be even closer to the next bed.”
That sounded good.
“I feel like a liar.” I braced a hand against the railing as I made my way down the stairs. It wasn’t just my ribs that ached, or my face that pulsed uncomfortably, or the few other places he’d landed yesterday that hurt. It was my muscles overall. I wasn’t used to fighting him off. Doing so had taxed me and an annoying soreness accompanied the painful soreness.
The whole situation was just aggravating. I hated being put out this way. It was such a waste of time and energy.
“Why is that?” he asked.
“I claim to not feel pain and here I am, hobbling around.”
“After I’d had a good working over in the dungeons, I laid on my back for days. It hurt to breathe. That you are up and moving with those bruises is...humbling. I’m sorry you have to, but I’m really glad you can suffer through it. We can’t stay here any longer.”
“That’s nice of you to say.”
“It’s the truth. I just didn’t admit it because . . .it’s slightly embarrassing. I’m the alpha. I should be the best.”
“Anything you can do, I can do better,” I wheezed, stepping wrong and jarring myself. “Except all the stuff related to shifting and leading and your job and probably your life . . .which I can’t do at all.”
His chuckle was light. “Yet.”
One of the staff stalled in coming up the stairs from the first floor. Instead of just flattening to the railing, out of the way, or descending to the bottom to make room, he scurried down and backed way away as though afraid of being too close.
“Word got out, huh?” I asked, knowing that expression. “The magic-less wonder doth approaches.”
Weston didn’t comment.
Another staff member did something similar, even disappearing from sight as I turned the corner into the main room. Others looked our way, some of their expressions concerned, some disgusted. One couple didn’t seem to notice or care about our presence at all. That was nice.
Tanix and Dante waited by the front desk, their expressions hard, taking Weston’s key from him and handing it over to the man working there.
“It’s not personal, o’course,” the guy was saying, scratching his chin through his scraggly beard. “I don’t care at all, you understand. It’s just some of the staff. There’s an awful stigma with?—“
“You don’t have to worry,” Dante growled, and for the first time I appreciated his power, size, and the sheer menace he was able to exude. The man shrunk down, lowering his gaze. “No one we know will ever use this establishment again.”
“Well now, listen here, anyone else from your outfit is—” The man was immediately silenced by a look from Tanix.
Weston waited for Dante to reach the door first and open it for us.
“Sorry about that,” I said, passing through. “I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Don’t you ever apologize,” Dante said with barely contained fury. “To anyone.”
My middle warmed. “At least we weren’t kicked out.”
“They tried,” Tanix said, walking behind us as we curved around the building to the stables. “The alpha shut that down right quick.”
I furrowed my brow. “When was that?”
“You’d already fallen asleep,” Weston responded, his tone furious. “Tanix came and got me.”
“You had to pay extra,” I surmised.
No one responded.
“I’m sorr?—“
“Don’t you fucking do it.” Dante held up a finger. “Don’t you fucking say it. Fuck those fuckers. They are going to get fucking blackballed.”
“Blacklisted,” Tanix corrected.
“I don’t give a shit what it’s called. They aren’t going to get away with treating people like that. What has happened to this kingdom? It’s gone backwards. Suppression and magiclessness had never been a big deal when I lived here.”
“Wait here.” Weston unhooked his arm from mine and walked with purpose into the stables.
“He didn’t have to pay extra,” Tanix murmured when Weston was out of earshot. “He did it to keep the peace after he scared the inn owner so bad the guy pissed himself. He flicked a gold coin at the man and told him to clean himself up and that the extra could go toward cleaning the room after we’d gone.”
“He shouldn’t have bothered.” Dante crossed his arms.
“Honestly, it’s a lot more common than you think. It’s fine?—“
“It’s not fucking fine.” Dante stepped up and bent, putting his face into mine. “It is not fucking fine, Aurelia. Stop acting like it’s no big fucking deal. Crap like that forced you to end up in a shit pit. It forced you to accept less just to survive. It took your mother and negatively shaped your life. You will not say you are sorry, and you will not shrug it away. It is terrible, and you should be outraged. Honestly, this fucking kingdom has gone backwards in the way it treats and views people. It’s shit.”
“Thank you. That means a lot. But if I spent my life outraged, I’d live a shallow, hate-filled existence. It isn’t worth shaping myself in the view of how others perceive me. Happiness is being comfortable in who I am and cutting out those who don’t agree. It is shit, though, I’ll agree there.”
He huffed, straightening up. “Fine. You take the high road. I’ll be outraged on your behalf and beat the living hell out of anyone that does it again. How’s that sound?”
I laughed and then braced my palm against my side. “Like friendship.”
“Damn straight friendship.” He spit. “Fuck that guy. Fuck his whole world.”
I reached out to put my hand on his arm and he twisted away. “Don’t touch me. I don’t need the alpha beating my head in. I might try to fight back and end up like you.”
He stalked into the stables just as Hadriel was leading his horse out.
“Well, hello my horribly diseased little darling,” he said cheerily. “I hear you’ve got half of the service staff afraid to breathe. Nice work. I usually have to try a lot harder to freak people out.”
“Now you know the golden recipe,” I said, noticing a waif of a girl peering out at me from behind a barrel just beyond the stables.
“I do not understand your terrible jokes,” Tanix muttered.
“No.” Hadriel thought about it for a moment. “You’d probably need a sense of humor for that.”
I grinned, especially as a dark look passed over Tanix’s face.
Hadriel walked his horse around, pausing while it stamped and glared at someone passing by on the road. That person jogged farther away.
“You look fresh as a daisy,” Hadriel told me. “And like everything hurts.”
“One of those things is true, yes,” I replied.
“If it helps any, I am terribly hungover. I spent the better part of the night and into the wee hours of the morning harassing people who thought you should be kicked out for not having any magic. They probably feel about”—he held up his thumb and forefinger—“this big by now. Some of them will be checking in with their mamas about what has gone wrong in their life. All in a day’s work.”
“I’m not allowed to apologize for that,” I said as our pack’s handsome horses strutted out of the stables.
Weston glanced my way before swinging his leg over the back of his, prancing a bit along the road. Dante followed him and the rest did as well. There were only a few walkers this time, the others with the carts and supplies having stayed on the ship last night, gathering extra supplies and getting ready to depart. Tanix walked forward to take his horse from a stable hand, nodding at me as he assumed his prestigious position behind the alpha.
Hadriel waited until the others were on their way before walking forward.
“Good,” he said, unhurried. “You shouldn’t apologize. Those people have less brain power than a goat. Fuck it’s early. I think I’m still drunk. The juggler was the highlight. If you heckled him just right, he’d drop his cones. That would then piss off the drunks in the back. When he took his break, the minstrel would sing a hilarious tune poking fun in the same way I was. That also pissed the drunks off. I won’t say we started the bar fight, but I won’t say we didn’t, either.”
“All this because you were annoyed how they treated me?”
“Of course! You can always count on me. Usually I am the one trying to calm down the dragons. This was a lot more fun.”
“The dragons.” I let loose a slow breath as we passed the waif. She darted out and if she’d had a knife, I still wouldn’t have flinched. They’d both probably hurt about the same. “I’m not looking forward to?—“
“Here.” The girl held up a note, looking all around. “It’s from Granny.”
The shock of her words had me frozen in place.
“What did you say?” I reached for her, caught up short by the flare of pain.
“From Granny,” she said, dodging through the street and away.
I stared after her as emotions and confusion raced through my mind. I swung my head toward Hadriel, my eyes—well, eye—wide.
Strangely, his expression was grim. He looked away from me, straight ahead. It wasn’t like him not to comment.
Dread coiled in my gut. Bile rose to the back of my throat.
“No,” I whispered to myself, “it can’t be. She’s dead. I saw her. She died on the floor.”
With shaking hands, I straightened out the note and immediately recognized the familiar, hastened scrawl. The world dropped away around me as I read.
Aurelia,
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. I am saddened to hear you disobeyed Alexander’s order to run and hide. To wait until we came for you. When I’d returned from my evasive measures, you were gone. That wasn’t me in the cottage, it was a likeness to give us all time. Time you didn’t use. You allowed yourself to make a foolish decision and get taken—exactly what we were always hoping to avoid.
There are no words to express how sick I am that you’ve ended up in exactly the situation I warned you of. It’s no wonder you fought our help in Crossbon Town. I do not blame you; you didn’t know we’d taken great pains, at great expense, to cast a wide net and hopefully bring you in safely.
As for yesterday, have no fear, dear. Alexander will be punished severely. He should never have placed his hands on you. While I was fighting off the reach of that alpha, who was stronger than any other I’ve encountered, Alexander was supposed to guide you to me so that I could explain what has happened. He is too quick to use brawn over brains. That is my fault. I should’ve trained him better.
Do not worry, you are not out of my reach. You are not alone. Since the first day I took you in, I promised you I would protect you, did I not? I toiled in finding your strengths and, once I did, built an empire around the only thing you were good at. Remember? I told you I’d care for you, build walls around your community and you’d be welcomed, safe, for the rest of your life. It was our labor of love and I do not regret a single day of it.
I do not fault you for what has become of the product. It was necessary to ensure your survival. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You didn’t have any other options. Neither of us did if we wanted to keep the organization going and keep those walls protecting you.
Survival is a hard business, and sometimes it is messy. I’ve told you that before.
Feel confident. I have contacts and alliances everywhere. Wherever they take you, I will come for you. Once you’re safe, we can plan a new life for you.
I can help you get back to our family, Aurelia. I miss our chats. I miss hearing about your mom.
Stay safe and take care of yourself until I can come for you.
I love you.
Best,
Granny
Tears clouded my eyes.
“A likeness?” I asked with a thick throat, remembering the body lying on the ground. Remembering the tangled mess and the hair. Her face had been destroyed, her body ripped apart. “That blood had been fresh.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, my mind whirring.
“Is this some sick joke?” I turned the note over and back again. The writing was hers, I knew it was. That, or someone great at mimicking it. And mimicking the way she said things, wrote things.
Still shaking, not knowing what to think, I read it again, and then one more time.
“I love you,” I said quietly, reading that line again and again. “Back to our family...”
My chest felt tight. It was the first time she’d ever said she loved me. The first time she’d mentioned us being family.
I’d always hoped she’d felt that way about me. Lately, more than ever, I’d questioned it. But here it was, written as proof.
…a new life for you…
…you are not alone…
I love you.
Someone bumped into me and I blinked away the tears enough to notice the bustle of people around us. We’d exited the city and walked down the gradual decline toward the port. A great ship was waiting at sea, boats at the pier to take people out. One was a strange sort of barge with a lot of flattened decks. For the horses, maybe?
“Did you go into that house?” I asked Hadriel. “Granny’s cottage. Did you go in there?”
“No, I did not. I was told everything secondhand when they delivered you to me.”
A tear slid down my face as I desperately looked at the faces we passed, wondering if I’d see her.
I had seen her, though. In that cottage, laying on the ground. That blood had been fresh, hadn’t it? I’d seen it. I’d seen the carnage. She wouldn’t sacrifice one of her people so that she could go free. She was a better alpha than that.
Besides, why would Weston have lied? Why wouldn’t he have told me that she’d lived? It wasn’t like he’d been trying to get on my good side in those first days. We’d hated each other. Chemistry and desire aside, we hadn’t gotten along. He wouldn’t have been trying to spare my feelings.
Alexander knew Granny. He had worked closely with her since before I’d gotten there. I doubted anyone knew her better. He could mimic her handwriting, I was sure of it. He could mimic her style. He might’ve done it in the past without me knowing. It’s not like I had ever questioned anything.
I hesitated getting into the little boat near the end of the dock that would take us across the water. The throng of people thinned out here. I studied each one, looking for the gray curly hair, the lined face.
“Come on, love,” Hadriel said solemnly. “Time to go.”
“But...” I clutched the note, tears blurring my vision. “What if she’s alive?”
“What will that change? Would you go back to that life?”
Would I?
“I mean, maybe I could at least talk to her. Say goodbye.” Sobs made my battered body shudder painfully, suddenly so confused. She was family. She could make things better. Now that I knew what was going on, she could change things to make it better, like she had in the past. Couldn’t she?
Would she?
The thought made me cry harder, all the things I’d realized over the last weeks coming to the surface. I could ignore everything Weston had said. Everything the pack had insisted on. The changes to my product. I could ignore all of that, but could I ignore my own journals? My own thoughts and feelings and experiences?
“Please,” I said, not knowing who I was begging or what I begged for as Hadriel firmly moved me toward the boat. “Just... please.”
I didn’t want to leave like this. I didn’t want to walk away. I’d had no choice the first two times, but this time I did. She was still alive. We could talk about it. I wanted to give her a chance to explain, to change. If she’d altered my product to protect me, surely she’d be amenable to altering it so that it was just as effective but safe. She’d been my guardian for nearly sixteen years now. It felt like a betrayal to leave like this when she so obviously wanted to see me. She’d saved me all those many years ago. If not for her, I’d be dead.
Is one’s life a fair trade for losing one’s freedom?
“Stop,” I said, physical pain and emotional torment making me bow in misery. “Just... wait. Let me think.”
“Get in the boat.” Weston was there, his hand wrapped around my upper arm and firmly directing me. “Get in the boat, Aurelia. It’s time to go. You’re not safe here.”
“But I won’t be safe in the dragon kingdom either,” I said as he picked me up.
Weston’s hand on my ribs as he set me down into the boat sent a flare of pure agony through my body, halting my breath.
“This is the right thing to do,” Hadriel said as he sat next to me, grabbing my hand. “It’s the right thing.”
“But...” I struggled to catch my breath through the radiating pain.
The boat drifted away from the docks as Weston stood at the edge watching it go. A moment later, he turned and directed everyone else to get moving. His movements were hastened, his urgency obvious.
He wanted to get me away from Granny as quickly as possible.
Dark thoughts rolled through my mind as I clutched the note. At the entrance to the ship, the pain from climbing up the ladder made it hard to think. Once on the ship, I was shown to the top deck and led to my quarters. I could barely muster the strength to will my legs to move.
What was I doing? Was I really leaving?
Life with Granny hadn’t been great, but she was a known entity. If she could change, if the operation could change, would it really be so bad? At least it would be familiar, unlike a distant land with rage-monger creatures who didn’t sound safe. Was leaving really the safest thing I could be doing? Going to face a punishment that, until lately, I’d been assured would be death?
Tears dripped down my face as a deckhand showed me around my quarters. None of it really registered. The large bed, the table in the back with settings for two... It was evident Weston would be in with me, monitoring me even here. He had to get me back to his royalty, after all. He had to do his duty, my happiness or peace of mind be damned.
My heart hurt and I couldn’t tell if it was from thinking of Weston like that or from leaving Granny.
The letter had reminded me I’d told Granny all about my mom back in the day. She’d always listened patiently as she sat by the fire. She’d added comments and words of support. And now I was walking away from her after she’d tried to come for me.
She’d tried to come for me.
My stomach dropped out as I saw my clothes hanging in the closet, all brown and drab but for one: the red cloak with the fashionable hood—the last gift Granny had ever given me. I hadn’t seen it since I’d been captured. They’d hung on to it.
My heart squeezed and then I was pushing out of the room, quickly making my way to the ship deck.
“Wait,” I said, out of breath. “Wait . . .”
But the long, slow crank indicated the anchor was being lifted. The sails had been raised, and we’d started to drift away.
“Wait . . .” I whispered, searching the people on the docks for a familiar face. Her familiar face.
Maybe it was just Alexander toying with me after all. Maybe this was just one more trick he knew would get to me.
As the distance from the dock grew, a flash of red caught my eye. A woman was fastening a cloak of crimson around her neck, the shade nearly the same as mine. She lifted the hood over gray, curled hair and I could just make out the kind, familiar face.
A gasp got caught in my throat.
“It’s true,” I breathed as boots sounded on the deck. A familiar, delicious scent caught my attention as Weston stopped next to me, looking over the railing. “She lives.”
“Yes,” Weston responded, no remorse.
“It wasn’t her in that cottage.”
“No. The body had a different scent than the house around it. It was a decoy, freshly killed and with a wig thrown on for good measure.”
My world bled of all color. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the woman in the red cloak on the docks, a person I’d known longer than my own mom. A woman who had taken care of me for all of my adult life.
“You knew the whole time,” I accused.
“Yes.” His tone was so hard, so unfeeling. He never once glanced my way, his face in profile as he stared at the docks.
I felt a little faint. “You kept this from me.”
“Yes. Purposely.”
“Why?” Tears ran freely down my face as I watched her wave goodbye. As we drifted farther and farther away, with no way to stop and go back. No way to jump and swim, not with these ribs. I’d never make it.
“Many reasons.” His tone could cut granite. “You will go to the dragon kingdom, as planned. You will stand in judgment, as agreed. Your dealings with that woman are finished.”
Tears dripped down my face, watching Granny wave, listening to Weston speak to me this way. Talking to me as if my pain didn’t register. He’d got what he wanted, maneuvered me in the same way he’d accused her of doing.
“You betrayed me,” I whispered.
“Yes.”
Still no remorse, just like when he’d ripped me out of my home. When he’d torn my life apart.
I watched the distance grow, that crimson cloak bright in the early morning sun, the figure getting smaller and smaller.
I swallowed heavily. “Was it all a lie?”
He paused for a long moment, and then he walked away, his non-answer damning.
He’d betrayed me yet again, and this time it was inexcusable.
Do not worry, you are not out of my reach.
Wherever they take you, I will come for you.
Something in me wondered if it was a promise…or a threat.
Will Weston grovel his way back into Aurelia’s good graces and help her shed so many years of abusive mental conditioning?
See what happens next when Aurelia is pushed in front of the biggest, baddest dragon in the world.