46. You’re Hard, Too
46
YOU’RE HARD, TOO
" T hat buzzing sound," she whispered.
Luella’s ears strained, but she couldn’t detect much.
She sighed, popping a berry into her mouth. Tartness coated her tongue, and she hummed. It wasn’t quite enough to satiate her hunger, but it would do.
A pile of red berries was on the ground between them, plucked from the bushes in the cave. They were edible, thank the gods.
Luella leaned into Az’s side, his arm wrapped around her waist.
They were both nestled against one of the tall trees, thick roots that bore into the stone ground wrapped around them on either side like a hug. Coupled with Az’s presence, the taste of tart berry on her tongue, and the drops of fresh and pure rainwater they had found collected in a few of the large leaves on nearby trees, Luella almost felt safe.
The book burned a hole inside her cloak, and she debated showing him. Scared. It might change everything.
Luella wasn’t sure why the book had found her, but it weighed her down with some ancient sense of foreboding.
"The portals to the Silva Nocits buzz," Az replied, breaking her out of her thoughts. "It’s faint, a quiet buzz. I don’t know how I missed it in the other caves. I guess I was too preoccupied with you." He reached up to tweak her nose, and Luella batted his hand away with a soft smile. "If this cave connects to the other, there could be more portals. We could get out of here. For good."
"For good," Luella mused. It sounded too good to be true.
A chill wracked her frame, and Luella burrowed closer to Az, the flame from the small fire he had made not doing much to keep her warm. He told her he didn’t want to risk anything larger than the small bundle of twigs and leaves currently burning in front of them. There was more than the wraiths to be wary of in the Silva Noctis.
It grew quiet between them, Az humming softly under his breath as a hand carded up and down her side.
Her eyelids were heavy, their plan to sleep for a few hours sounded wonderful. But Luella knew she couldn’t. Not yet.
With that thought in mind, she shifted, pulling the Compendium of Fates from within her cloak and resting it on her knees.
"What’s that?" Az mumbled.
Luella tapped a finger atop the leather of the cover, drawing the demon’s attention to it.
Like a shock of lightning, he grew rigid beside her, hand stilling on her waist. She didn’t look up at him as she slowly opened the pages. The spine cracked, pages of unmarred white staring back up at her.
Luella waited. She had hoped the words would still be there after last time, but she guessed not.
She knew what she had to do next.
Her pale hand raised, hovering between her and Az as she peeked up at him. "I trusted you. Now it’s your turn to trust me."
Luella brushed her pointer finger over the demon’s horn, bearing down as she pricked the tip of it. He did not jerk away, forcing himself to be still and trust , just as she had asked. Even as his eyes narrowed in confusion.
Blood welled at the tip, and she held her finger up, watching the maroon drop grow. The weight was too heavy to stay on her finger, and gravity took over, the droplet of blood falling and splattering on the pure white of the page. Red webs overtook the endless white, words filling the once-empty spaces.
But not entirely.
Just like last time, not all was revealed. Only the title on the first page, Compendium of Fates , and as she slowly flipped through it, her breath caught at the sight of the familiar poem… or prophecy.
Luella wasn’t sure what to call it.
But the words had been imprinted on her brain. She knew them by heart. Could recite them at will.
Her voice was quiet, serious, as she shakily began.
" To expel the dark, the shadow’s spark, and defeat the stolen, she must bond with the chosen . …"
The mournful words were a hearkened warning. And they washed over Luella and Az like starkly cold ocean waves, nearly drowning them both under their power.
She read until she couldn’t. Until the torn-apart pages stopped her in her tracks, forcing her to live in a state of constant curiosity.
Az’s fingers dug into her waist. Still, she did not look at him. Her eyes burned as she watched the words on the pages.
"Where did you find that?" His voice was deep.
And Luella shared it all.
Az had already seen the alcove in the library and knew of its untouched age. But she told him of how she felt compelled toward it. Told him about Nyx. About the persistent drive to uncover what the little stone wedged in the walls had been hiding.
Only when she was finished, did she finally look at him.
His dark brow was lowered in heavy thought, amber eyes molten with secrets. As he rolled his lip between his teeth, he brushed a hand over the cover of the book.
"I wanted to keep you from this. Not throw you into the midst of it." Az shook his head, darkness teeming in his eyes. Even the fire and the faint blue light overhead did little to dispel it.
"What do you mean?" Luella asked.
He did not respond.
She tried a different tactic.
"What do you know of the Umbra?"
With a deadly voice, the demon inquired, "Where the fuck did you hear that name?"
Luella’s hand fluttered to her throat. She had never heard him sound so angry. Not directed toward her, anyway.
"I-I," she stammered.
"Fuck," he cursed low under his breath. "I’m not angry with you, Lu. I just need to understand what you know."
Her brow furrowed. He was making less and less sense with every word he said.
What she knew?
What did she know?
It felt like nothing most days.
Luella softly stuttered her way through an explanation, nowhere near as put together as her story of the nook in the library and Nyx. He grew more furious with every word that fell from her anxiously bitten lips.
When she mentioned overhearing the King and the others in the library, Az growled. She stopped talking, and he urged her onward with a soft touch, completely at odds with his angered demeanor.
And when she said the other word. The word that had been niggling at her mind like an infection, Tenebrae , he shot up, displacing her from where she was tucked to his side.
Az turned to face her, and Luella met his stare with hesitancy.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No," he said, but his tongue poked into his cheek.
She wasn’t inclined to believe him.
"You know what it means. Don’t you?" Luella’s resolve was firm. She would get answers. This time, she would not relent due to fear.
The demon gave a rough, singular nod of his head.
At her look of excitement— finally, answer s—he faced her fully. "It is dangerous."
"More dangerous than spending the night in a cave in the Silva Noctis?" She arched a brow.
"Yes," Az cut in. "Far more dangerous."
"I feel—" Luella huffed. "Something is going on. Something I don’t know. Little pieces… Nothing makes sense. It’s all so confusing," she said, words coming out disjointed; they had been simmering in her chest far too long for eloquence. "I just want to understand. I don’t want to live in the dark anymore."
"Angel, haven’t you learned? The light can be worse than the dark. But both together? We may not stand a chance."
She didn’t know what to think of that. Somehow, Luella suspected those words were far more telling than she realized.
Her lower lip jutted out slightly in a soft pout.
Az inhaled. "The Umbra answers to the Tenebrae. Both are made of the dark. But the Tenebrae is the dark. The Umbra are an army of shadows."
"Army of shadows?" Her mouth parted. "Az, I don’t understand."
"Be glad. Soon you will." The demon lowered his head, mouth ghosting over hers. Warm breath entered her still-parted lips as he uttered, "And once you do, there will be no going back."
"Help me understand," she implored, trying to ground herself against his arresting gaze. It was hard—to be caught in a snare of warm amber and the richness of his scent.
"The Tenebrae and its army are everywhere. You have met it before, and you will meet it again."
The words made her shiver. Sounding as prophetic as the lines in the book still resting on her lap.
Luella fingered the leather cover, the edges of the pages rough against her fingertip. A golden curl, frizzy and unkept, fell against her cheek as she looked down. "I’m frightened."
A warm finger notched against her chin, lifting her face. "So am I. But we’re together, Lu. Always. I have you now, and I will not let you go," he vowed.
His declaration soothed something within her.
She was scared of shadows and darkness and things that had been right next to her, all this time.
She had met this Tenebrae before? The Umbra, too?
How? When ?
Luella couldn’t handle it anymore. Not tonight.
Her lids were heavy with exhaustion, ankle throbbing. The heat of the fire and warmth radiating from the demon at her side threatened to pull her into sleep.
"Rest, Lu," Az carded a hand down her side, placing a firm palm on her thigh.
He pulled her into him, gentle touches making her forget about shadows and darkness and light. Almost.
"And you?" she breathed. "Will you rest, too?"
The demon tutted under his breath. "Don’t worry about me, angel. I’ll keep watch."
"I—" Luella started. "I don’t know if I can sleep."
Az gave an understanding nod, and she shifted to curl into his side, wincing as the movement jostled her ankle. After their talk, Az had put her boot back on, just in case they had to leave quickly. And the stiff leather of the book rubbed against her swollen skin uncomfortably. Luella didn’t even know if she would be able to walk if she had to, let alone run.
A large tree root dug into her back as she curled her other leg up, leaving the injured one outstretched. She kept twitching, trying to find a comfortable spot on this hard, unforgiving ground. At least the tree and the many roots curling around them and digging into the ground offered a makeshift backrest.
"For me. Rest." Az brushed a soft fingertip over her eyelashes, forcing her lids to close. The fire warmed her side, but it had nothing on his natural heat. "You’ll do no good if you’re worn out, angel."
She hummed in agreement, placing her cheek on his chest as she tried to find a spot that didn’t put so much pressure on her spine. "Why do you call me that?"
"What?"
"Angel," Luella asked.
"Because you’re my angel. My salvation."
"Oh," she breathed in reply. Her fingers toyed with the torn hem of his cloak, bunched around his waist from how he was reclining.
His words took her back to their first meeting. The way he had said he had been waiting for her. It still didn’t make sense, but much didn’t these days.
Call her naive, but for now, Luella found herself holding onto her state of unknowing, content to stay there for as long as she was able.
After a few more moments of her restless squirming, Az carefully lifted her by the waist and moved her. She looked at him, curious.
"I can’t let you sleep on the hard ground. You’ll never get any rest," Az mumbled, a contemplative look on his face. "Here." He shifted to lay down fully on the ground, back propped up and legs slightly spread.
He gathered her up, and she let out a quiet, "Oof!"
Tucking her under his chin, Luella rested on top of Az’s warm body, her stomach pressed to his chest.
"But you’re hard, too," she remarked, hands folded atop his chest as she peered up at him.
Az’s amber eyes grew wide, and he huffed in amusement, mumbling something unintelligible under his breath. He flicked the tip of her nose, adoration softening his eyes.
Luella curled her leg up, the other still outstretched. She continued to shift around slightly, not used to being in such proximity to a male. He was hard where she was soft, and the difference made her head light. She didn’t know where to put her legs. Where to rest her hands. They were so close.
Az stilled her movements with a hand on her hips, the other skimming up her thighs, parting them to straddle his waist. Her bent leg dangled off the side, the other flush against his strong thigh.
That was better.
Okay. Luella could maybe get some sleep like this. If only she wasn’t so aware of how her thighs made a perfect cradle for his hips.
"Comfortable?" Az rubbed a hand down her back in a soothing motion.
She buried her face into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply that rich scent of his she loved so much. "Yes."
"Good," he rumbled. "Now, go to sleep."
Her eyes closed, and all the while, his hands trailed up her back, fingers tracing shapes and patterns into her skin as he hummed quietly under his breath. Little lullabies that took her back to their time in the dungeons when he sang her to sleep from the other side of the iron bars.
A deep breath, drowning in Az’s scent and luxuriating in his presence, and Luella’s body grew heavy, hands slackening where she had buried them in his shirt.
Underneath the earth, nestled in a forest of shadows, in a place where Luella should feel anything but safe, she found herself more at peace than she had been within the tall walls of the castle.
At least here, she was free.
Tendrils of smoke drifted from the snuffed-out fire, following them as they walked deeper into the cave.
Shadows were cast against the towering walls. As Luella peered over her shoulder, she couldn’t help but fear those shadows would take form, spindly claws reaching to grab and devour.
It was no matter that Az had told her the caves were somehow immune to the touch of the wraiths; she didn’t know how he came about that information.
Luella’s eyes were gritty, and her head was groggy with sleep, but she trudged forward. One foot in front of the other, hobbling along, propped up with Az’s hand notched under her arm, allowing her to take some weight off of her ankle.
"Before I woke you, I ventured deeper into the cave and heard buzzing from within," Az supplied.
Luella started at hearing he had left her.
He quickly added, "I did not go far. Never could I part from you for long. Let’s pray the exit will lead anywhere other than Serpentis."
She had been praying. It never did seem to help.
Maybe the gods were as fictitious as her mother used to claim. Even as a fae, her mother had never been one to fall in line with piety. Perhaps there had been some merit in that. With every unanswered prayer, Luella felt her beliefs flicker and threaten to die out.
The lingering warmth that had acted as a soft blanket in the heart of the cave dwindled with every step they took onward. She was thankful for the light reflecting above, cascading down on them with blue glimmers in the dark. If it weren’t for that, she didn’t know what they would have done—Az had said no fire, not deeper in the cave, lest they attract the attention of things better left unbothered.
Their steps were hurried. As hurried as they could be with her injured ankle. As they walked, Luella felt her palms grow clammy with sweat, her hair sticking to her nape with perspiration as the pain increased. She tried to shove it down. Found herself leaning into Az more and more as they walked.
He noticed. He always noticed.
"Lu," Az called, steadying her with a hand on her shoulder.
She let out a weary sigh, looking up at him. They stopped, the demon hoisting her up when she nearly toppled over from the abrupt halt. She felt odd.
He searched her eyes, amber flicking back and forth. His brow was drawn low in worry, and the muscles in his jaw twitched. "Can you hold on a little longer? For me?"
"I’m trying," she hummed.
It would have to be enough for now. It’s not like they had a choice. Venture forward, or go back and deal with the infamous wrath of King Vale.
More walking… Even her uninjured foot grew sore; her heels likely blistered in her boot.
Az never let her go, keeping an arm wrapped so tightly around her she was fused to his side. Never faltering in his steady support and protection, vigilantly scanning the area up ahead, always ready to engage in a fight.
She was lucky. To have him. Maybe her prayers had been answered in a way.
Their breaths—hers, short and shallow, and his, steady and deep—suddenly were accompanied by a new sound as the vast tunnel they wandered grew smaller.
Buzzing. The air was buzzing.
A noise that reminded her of the beating of a hummingbird’s wings or the drone of bees in a hive. Incessant and low.
"Finally," Az breathed out. The word made her look up at him, and she found his expression awed, filled with relief.
"Is that—" She broke off, unable to finish. What if it was just in her head? What if the sound was a manifestation of her exhaustion? And not what she thought it to be—the sound of an escape.
Az’s fingers clenched once where they were wrapped around her ribs. "It is."
He tugged her forward, their steps becoming out of tune and awkward as he pulled her against the stone, her injured foot dragged on the ground. He practically carried her the rest of the way. The tunnels bent and curved, sloping downward, as the ceiling closed in. Still, they did not relent.
The buzzing grew louder, a pulse in the air. Like the cave itself had a real, beating heart.
The air around them grew dense, and Luella struggled to break through the heaviness. It bogged her down. Made her feel like she was underwater, the currents pulling her under.
Just when she felt like she may collapse under the pressure, the endless path of the cave opened up.
An innocuous cut in the stone. A doorway, almost. There was no blue light shining within. It was wholly dark. It looked so similar to the hollowed not -door in the library.
Az pressed the side of her face to his chest, a hand clapped over her exposed ear.
It was so loud .
She wasn’t sure why. The entrance they had taken to the Silva Noctis had barely been audible, for they both missed it. Yes, this one was a scream in the silence of deep earth, echoing where no one would ever hear.
"That’s the sound of freedom." Az pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.
Luella gave an exhausted, pained smile. "We’re getting out of here."
She could almost feel the weight of invisible shackles being freed as they stepped through the gateway, leaving the Silva Noctis—and Serpentis—behind.