Chapter 9
Luci
Closing my eyes, I settled into the couch cushions.
It was only, like, eight PM, but I was wiped the fuck out.
Who knew a single kid could tire me out so quickly and thoroughly?
Was that normal? Theo hadn’t seemed bothered at all, always staying in his calm, collected father role.
He’d pushed her on the swings with endless passion, praised every single one of the dozen pictures she’d drawn today, and had even had the patience to let her cut the potatoes. With a real kitchen knife.
Fuck, watching her handle the blade had taken a couple of years off my life. How did he manage not to have a heart attack every single day?
Still, I’d had so much fun. Celebrating Christmas as an adult was different from celebrating Christmas as a kid.
And celebrating as an adult with a kid was different yet again.
It made me remember a ton of things from my childhood; the way Gabe and I had spent hours playing with our gifts in the living room, shutting out everyone else.
The way we’d always tried to stay awake to catch Santa in the act.
We hadn’t had a chimney, so we’d always wondered how the fuck he’d managed to sneak into our house.
One time we even…
My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I quickly pulled it out and snorted. Speaking of the devil.
“Hey, big brother,” I greeted him. “Do you remember that one Christmas we tried setting up a trap to catch Santa? The box with bells and toys we placed on top of the door that was supposed to fall and make a ton of noise when Santa opened the living room door? It just dawned on me today that Dad hadn’t accidentally triggered the trap when he tried stealing chocolate from Mom’s secret stash in the living room. We actually caught Santa. Aka him.”
Gabe laughed. “Merry Christmas to you, too, Luci.”
“Oh, right. Merry Christmas.”
“Exactly how much coffee are you currently running on?” my brother asked, his voice a mix of amusement and the usual concern.
“Pfft,” I said, waving my hand even though he couldn’t see me. “First, I was woken up at five thirty today, so I deserve all the coffee in the world. Second, caffeine doesn’t work on me. It doesn’t make me more awake.”
“No, but too much caffeine makes you jittery. You do sound jittery to me. And getting up at five thirty? Was your house on fire? Are you okay? I thought you were going to spend Christmas with that guy with the kid from your apartment building. Did your plans fall through? I have to admit, I had a hard time picturing you with a father any—”
Heaving a sigh, I let my head fall back, resting on top of the couch so I looked straight up at the ceiling. Great to see he was still worrying about me.
“Gabe.” His name came out as a whine, but with a sharp undertone that I rarely used on my brother. Even if I did, it was usually lost on him.
He paused in his musings, drawing in a harsh breath.
Okay, the sharpness might have been more than an undertone.
“Yes, I did celebrate with Theo and Hazel. He’s my boyfriend, and she is probably the only thing in this world that could make me get up before the ass-crack of dawn.
So please keep your thoughts about me dating a father to yourself.
I know you think I’m an immature mess and don’t take anything seriously, but I really like him.
I want this to work out, and I hate thinking that my brother thinks I’m not good enough for him. ”
I heard two people suck in their breaths at once.
My brother, on the phone, and Theo, standing right in front of me with a steaming mug in hand. He was quicker to get his bearings than my brother. After a second of complete stillness, he gently placed the mug on the coffee table and sat down next to me, immediately reaching for me.
“You are good enough for me. Boyfriend,” he whispered in my ear, his breath fanning over my earlobe, sending shockwaves through my body. His voice was so damn gentle and soft, but there was steel laced with it, too. Conviction. Like he really believed what he was saying.
“Luci…” Gabe started.
I didn’t want to do this today. Not on Christmas. I loved Gabe to pieces. He’d always been there, always my support and protector. But he’d never quite managed to take a step back from that, even though I was an adult. And I was done.
Closing my eyes, I contemplated just hanging up on him, but I really didn’t want to. I hated confrontation. Having my brother be mad at me today would ruin Christmas completely, and I didn’t want the amazing day I’d had to fade in light of an argument with my brother.
“Lucian,” Gabe said again, his voice sharper now, as if he knew exactly I was getting lost inside my head.
He probably did. He’d lived with me for almost two decades, after all.
“I don’t think that way about you at all.
I might not always understand your choices in life, but you’re my brother, and I want you to be happy.
Yes, I worry about you. But I don’t worry because I think you’re not good enough for anyone; I worry because I don’t want you to get hurt. ”
Oh.
I blinked, but Gabe apparently wasn’t done yet.
“You always throw yourself at new things, and I admire that you’re able to do that, but you tend to get ahead of yourself and plow on too quickly.
Other people usually need more time, so I worry.
Especially if the other person is a single father who has his daughter to think of.
I don’t worry about them. I worry about you finding yourself five steps further down the line than him and getting your heart broken. ”
Ahh, fuck.
Theo hugged me impossibly tight, practically squeezing me half to death. It was on the brink of hurting, yet somehow just the right amount of force.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have gone off on you. I just…”
“You tend to get ahead of yourself?” Gabe teased. “I know. And I can admit that I’m clumsy with words. Numbers really are more my speed, but I’m afraid you won’t understand a word if I start talking numbers at you.”
I snorted out a laugh. “Maybe I should hand the phone to Theo. Numbers are his thing, too. He’s studying to become an accountant, you know.”
“Oh, really?” I just knew he was sitting up straighter right now.
I just fucking knew he’d bombard Theo with questions if I gave him the chance.
“Yes, really. And once you’re back from your cruise, I’m happy to introduce you, but Hazel is finally asleep, and I’d like to have my boyfriend to myself for a while.”
Gabe chuckled. “I bet you do. Okay. Merry Christmas to you and your boyfriend.”
“Merry Christmas to you and Willa.”
We end the call, and I let out a sigh as I shift until I’m sitting between Theo’s legs and could use him as a backrest. Leaning my head against his shoulder, the turmoil inside of me slowly ebbed away.
“Soo…” Theo said after a while, his fingers dancing over my stomach. “I’m your boyfriend now?” His voice was bright, hopeful, but I knew him well enough to know there were insecurities hidden beneath the hopeful appearance. “We’re in a relationship?”
“I think we are,” I said easily, turning my head to nose at his neck. “I know it’s fast.”
“I don’t mind fast,” Theo breathed.
I raised my brows at him. “You don’t mind fast? You mean I’m allowed to tease and flirt?”
His cheeks turned a dark shade of red, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he let his hand slip beneath my sweater—previously known as his sweater, but I wasn’t about to give it back. Ever—and caressed the skin on my stomach, raising goosebumps wherever it went.
What the actual fuck was going on?
Not that I minded. I didn’t mind one bit.
“I think,” he rasped. “I can handle a bit of flirting from my boyfriend. At least I want to.”
His fingers were still caressing my stomach, drawing random circles around my navel, creeping upwards now and again, making me draw in a harsh breath every time they came closer to my nipples, but never actually touching them.
If this was his way of flirting, I wasn’t sure I’d survive the night.
But, oh fuck, what a way to go.
“And… more than flirting?” I asked, my fingers twitching to reach for him and pull him tight so I could rub my ass against his cock. But not without talking to him first.
“You mean… touching?” Theo said, his fingers stopping dead in their tracks.
“Yeah.” We hadn’t even done anything yet, but I was already close to begging him to touch me again. Fuck. Weeks of kissing him and then taking care of business on my own while wanting nothing more than his hands on me had left me desperate. Drooling.
Apparently, edging was not my forte. I was more of an instant gratification type of guy.
Theo took his time answering, just like he always did when things got serious. I loved that about him. If he’d been the one asking me, I’d have already thrown myself at him—completely naked.
But Theo wasn’t that guy. He was thinking things through, even in times like this. And his mind was hard at work, his fingers twitching a little, his chest heaving a little from his quick breaths.
“I want to try,” he said. “I want to try so much with you. Everything. I don’t think I’m ready for everything today, but I’m down to see where things go. Is that okay?”
Oh my god.
“Of course, that’s okay,” I said, turning my head again so I could look him in the eyes.
“And if you want to stop, you say so. I’m not going anywhere…
okay, depending on when you say stop, I might be going to the bathroom to finish before I spontaneously combust, but I’m here for everything you want to try. ”
Theo grinned, his fingers picking up speed again.
“I liked this,” he whispered, almost as if he thought he was letting me in on a secret. “And I really like the way you squirm when I do this.”
He brushed his fingers up my chest again, slowly dragging his fingertips over my skin. They never stopped, but whenever I thought he was about to flick my nipples, they took a different direction.