Luca #2
“Oh nah, see Luke!” Roy muttered quickly, trying to console her. “Don’t do that, pretty baby. That’s your hot and cold daddy being a meanie guy.”
I crossed my arms, watching him struggle as he continued to try his best to soothe her. Her screaming bounced off the walls until I caved in and took her out of his arms. I kissed her cheeks and whispered to her soothingly. Seconds later she simmered down in my arms as I swayed from side to side.
I fell in love with my daughter a thousand different ways every single day, but nothing compared to when she settled against my chest like she knew she belonged there.
She made me feel like my arms had been empty my whole life waiting specifically for her weight.
I wanted Novae to always feel safe and secure in my arms.
“Superhero ass nigga,” Roy complained. “You wanted her to get mad at me so you can swoop in and save the day,” he spat out, sounding vexed.
“Let daddy get you away from Uncle Roy,” I whispered softly, walking back toward her momma’s new camper.
“I hope your mommy love both gifts,” I whispered lowly, rubbing small circles in her back.
Behind her camper was a brand-new lavender Bentley truck sitting on chrome rims. The inside had cream-colored leather seats with her name stitched perfectly in the headrests.
“You put a tracker?” Roy’s voice was close behind me.
“For safety reasons,” I answered honestly.
“Whatever makes you sleep better at night.” He chuckled. “I got a question though,” he continued.
I dropped the keys in my pocket, nodded my head at Roy then trekked back over toward Novae’s stroller. It never failed; whenever I held her standing up and moving around, she fell asleep in no time.
I dropped down in a brown lazy-boy across from Roy. My throat burned slightly when I swallowed down. I rubbed at my scar across my throat before tapping it twice, looking in Roy’s direction.
He immediately nodded, understanding that since he understood sign and could speak sign language, right now was the time to do it.
I needed to rest my throat. The transition between us always happened naturally after all these years, and I appreciated that.
Roy’s hands moved smoothly while leaning back against the sectional.
“You should have one of the staff bring tea.” He pointed up at the ceiling.
“Later.” I signed back lazily.
Roy studied me for a second longer, then one eyebrow lifted slightly before he signed again.
“Can I shoot?” He kept his hands up, smirking already like he knew whatever he was about to ask would irritate me before his hands start moving swiftly again.
“How you go long periods of time without sex?” He raised his brows, his smirk never dropped.
I stared at him blankly, blinking slowly, not really knowing if I was going to answer his question. Roy liked to play a whole lot.
“I’m serious.” He shrugged.
“Jail taught me control.” I paused my hands.
Roy watched carefully like he was eager to learn something.
“It taught me how to think clearly and have decorum with my dick.” I smirked.
That made Roy howl. He laughed so hard his shoulders shook. I couldn’t really afford to laugh like I wanted to since my throat felt raw. Instead, my chest and shoulders moved as I chuckled lowly.
“See that’s that lukewarm shit I be talking about with you.” He choked off his spit. “One moment you serious and then the next you cracking jokes.” He cleared his throat.
It might have sounded funny but that was the simplest version I could give him.
Prison stripped people down to their real selves eventually.
I saw men that claimed to be real men and heterosexual give in to their fleshly desires and be with other men.
I heard stories of some of them getting out after being with men and going home to the women that loved and held them down.
They transmitted diseases while some became violent because they fell in love with a new feeling that they couldn’t clear from their consciences.
None of it had nothing to do with me but it just opened my eyes to how weak men actually were just to get a nut.
A moment of pleasure that carried no substance, blinding their vision.
People took desperate measures. Even with the women guards, for the right price…
a man with money had access to what was supposed to be viewed as a treasure between their legs.
In prison, I gave myself no distractions, no openness for softness, especially after Sanarah and I broke up. My intimacy stopped after her. I was forced to have nothing but time on my hands. Time with my own mind staring back at me every day until discipline and control kicked in.
“Desire clouded judgment in there… It clouds the vision of people on the outside too.” I finally signed again.
Roy nodded his head.
“Weakness inside prison cost more than comfort… So, I learned restraint… None of those women guards was worth my money either. I didn’t need the headache of them working with emotions either once I broke it off,” I continued.
“Now that I’m free… it has helped me lead better, do better, and be better than the last Don…It makes me patient and better and in control of my emotions.” I signed slowly as emotion clogged my throat.
I loved my father to death, but half of his problems sprouted from the lack of control.
It was no secret, and he never attempted to hide his different flavors of the week around us openly.
He never brought a woman to our estate, but when we were out with him, he pulled up on a few.
Most wealthy men had a lot of different women jumping on and off their dicks to feed their already boosted egos.
I didn’t need none of that shit, it didn’t make or break me.
I was so self-disciplined within myself that I controlled when my dick got hard.
Right now, with everything going on, now was not the time.
With La’Nova back in my bed, I knew it would be soon.
Even she complained when we first started messing around that I was super stingy with the dick.
That thought made me smile.
“You still blew up a building, a camper, and an expensive car… that’s out of control… working with emotions and being sort of pussy whipped.” Roy chuckled when he finished signing.
“I said it made me better, nigga… Not perfect.” I glared at him.
“You never gon’ stop mentioning that shit.” I gave him a pointed look, annoyed that it was the third time today he brought it up.
Roy laughed harder. He leaned back deeper into the couch and looked toward La’Nova’s camper thoughtfully as his laugh simmered down.
“You think La’Nova really knows how much you in love with her yet?”
I lifted my hands to sign back ‘yes’ but paused when I replayed his question again in my mind. I nodded my head slowly before signing.
“I think… she thinks I’m infatuated with her…
she knows I’m weakened by her in many ways.
La’Nova knows I love her… I plan to actually date her although I never dated before…
not even with Sanarah…. After a couple of dates…
I guess I’ll ask her if she knows how in love with her I am,” I admitted to a lot of things in one response.
“I never dated either,” Roy responded with his hands. “I always paid for pussy; even before I had access to women at House of Angels.” He lowered his hands then started to bounce his right knee.
He stared at the ground without looking up like something was weighing on his mental. I spoke to get his attention.
“She left your house,” I whispered with a knowing look on my face.
“She did.” Roy finally looked up. “I let her, of course… thought it would be for the best. She’s been gone for eight days now, and I want to go back over to that nigga Maniac house and kidnap her pretty, tall, thick ass again…
But maybe it’s the sex… man,” he drawled, running one hand across his face.
“It was the best fuckin’ sex I’ve ever had…
and maybe that’s what’s clouding my judgment. ”
“Or it could be real chemistry…” I signed. “You felt something for Amaris before sleeping with her.”
“True.” He roughly sighed.
“So, date her now… be a gentleman and take the time to really get to know her. Ask her what she likes to do then maybe you can implement those things into the dates you plan for y’all.”
“You plan on doing that with La’Nova?” He asked.