Chapter Four
Tess had decided to abandon the cabin on Tuesday rather than stay to the end of the week.
She’d packed her belongings and driven back to the world of Judge Theresa Fairchild and the life that waited for her in Corazon Cove.
She’d hoped that she would return rejuvenated, but the ache of loneliness now carved a larger hole than before she’d left.
Since her close call with death, she’d been trying to figure out how to fix her life, and for a week, Bree had offered her a taste of what she wanted.
It wasn’t just the absence of the flirting and the kissing and the touching that had led them to that night of phenomenal passion.
Tess couldn’t forget the simple pleasure of their connection, of how much she liked Bree, of Bree’s open acceptance of her.
Bree had so easily brought down all the walls and barriers that she used to keep most people at a distance.
She had been comfortable being herself with Bree.
It had felt as though Bree had the potential of filling that hole Tess carried in her life, although Tess didn’t even know who Bree was or what issues Bree had in her own life.
And Bree was the one who had suggested that what happened in Tahoe stayed in Tahoe.
Bree hadn’t indicated she wanted their relationship to continue in any way beyond their time together at the cabin.
Tess needed to move on in her life—she was mature enough to live with that, and it certainly didn’t carry the risk of rejection if she did something foolish and tried to find Bree when Bree didn’t want more than the week they’d had.
But God, she felt so torn, imagining a future with Bree, yet knowing she simply needed to let it go.
In an effort to exorcise her despondency with an extraordinary number of hours on her treadmill, Tess had programmed in what she’d labeled The Virtual Drag Your Derriere Up Kilimanjaro Challenge, but Bree was too deeply embedded.
Finally, she’d decided she wanted to talk to her aunt, Alice, before she officially donned her robe again.
There had never been an ounce of judgment that Tess detected in her aunt.
Just her aunt’s love and support. Now they sat at Alice’s kitchen table with empty plates and full coffee mugs after Tess had told Alice the basics of her Tahoe trip.
“So, you shed your robe, left Judge Theresa Fairchild home, figuratively. You were simply the authentic Tess. Naked.” Alice’s umber eyes were warm and engaged.
“Naked? I didn’t admit that.” Tess picked up her mug and took a long swallow. “I don’t think it was simply me, and I don’t think it was simply her. It was the two of us together, with each other. She had no idea who I am. No preconceived notions. And she liked me.”
“Of course she liked you. Do you want to see her again?”
Tess blew her nose but promised herself that she wouldn’t cry. “Bree gave no indication she wanted more, so I have no intention of violating our agreement.”
Alice focused on her drink as she offered Tess a moment to regroup.
“I don’t really know her, and she doesn’t really know me.
” Tess shook her head. “I guess I’m here for your wisdom because I need to figure out how to move on.
I’ll never know if what we’d begun to build up there in the mountains could survive the real world.
I felt like it could. I know that I’m going to really miss her. But it’s over.”
Alice offered an understanding smile. “Let me ask if you’ve learned anything, sweetheart.”
“Maybe…a glimpse of what else I need. A life besides my job. The right person in that life.” Tess met Alice’s understanding gaze.
“Okay. You’ve closed the door on this woman. So, what do you want now?”
“I want Bree.” Tess let out a long sigh. “But what happened, that wasn’t reality. What happened was unique to Tahoe, and with guidelines that spelled out walking away. I was just a woman named Tess to her.”
“And outside of Tahoe?”
“I want to allow myself the chance for a personal life. For now, I need to get past Tahoe. Past Bree. Maybe someday, there will be someone else.” Tess knew that’s why she’d wanted this coffee with Alice.
So that she’d make herself talk about what she’d refused to risk her entire life. “Is that asking too much?”
“I know your upbringing didn’t help, but you’re an adult now.” Alice offered a slight head nod as they each drained their mugs. “So, let me ask you a last question. Now that you’ve come out from under your robe for Bree, are you recognizing that you’re in a different place?”
“You sure have this shrink role down to perfection.” Tess blew a raspberry—so unprofessional. “Yes. I’m in hell.”
They both chuckled. Alice had always offered Tess comfort and support, and this last year since Alice’s retirement, the familiarity and respect between the two of them had only grown.
“I’d like to suggest that you think about a few things.” Alice patted Tess’s hand. “What does knowing someone mean if you say Bree didn’t really know you? Could it be that she actually knows you in ways that you don’t reveal to others? Just some things to think about.”
“Okay. But I didn’t plan this. It just happened on its own.”
“Maybe that’s how much of life happens if you let it.” Alice steepled her fingers. “And how did it just happen on its own?”
“There was no plan. I’d thought the worst that could happen would be the same things that I’ve spent my life avoiding.
With the rules we established, I thought that I had nothing to lose,” Tess replied.
“But Tahoe turned out to be the things I’ve craved.
Bree brought out the best in me. She made me start to feel things I haven’t felt for anyone before.
I don’t want to say she’s The One, but it felt like there was a very strong chance that she could have been.
” Shit. Tess swallowed hard at her admission.
“You sound incredulous. Like you never thought you could meet the right person. It’s okay, sweet pea. You have every right to be happy.”
“I’m so grateful that you’re my aunt.” Tess blinked so the moisture didn’t overflow, and she smiled at Alice.
“Me too. Who else is going to entertain me in my old age?”
“What? Pickleball and bingo aren’t entertaining enough for you?”
“Not by a long shot. I’m always here for you, Tess. You’re an impressive woman, with or without that robe.”
Tess helped clear the table and hugged her aunt. Alice offered some final advice before Tess left.
“Just let life happen, my girl. Work harder at being yourself more often. Life might surprise you.”