Chapter Five #2
She could understand concerns about potential workplace circumstances that would have to be addressed. Those could be real concerns, but she and Bree weren’t at that point. Bree had only politely indicated that they might decide to have lunch sometime.
It crossed her mind that maybe Bree had only wanted her under those Tahoe guidelines, but she wanted to believe that wasn’t the case.
At forty-seven, she should be doing a better job of handling this.
She was letting her own insecurities overshadow the situation, and she didn’t want to let them dictate her life anymore.
Bree had mentioned being overwhelmed with all the new change in her life.
And if Bree needed space, Tess needed to accept that.
Bree hadn’t really rebuffed her. She’d reacted with the same shock that Tess had at what they’d discovered, and her initial response had conveyed that she was happy to see Tess again.
Maybe they needed to redefine their relationship—there was so much Tess didn’t know about Bree.
The mature thing to do was to figure out how to deal with what she now knew, to come up with the best way to move forward.
Maybe discussing things with Flo would help. Flo was always a good sounding board.
That was Tess’s state of mind as she entered the Steam Stop this Saturday morning. Flo waved from the table she’d claimed at the back of the room.
“You look like someone who needs somebody besides that feline desperado duo to talk to. I know we haven’t caught up in a while, so what gives?” Flo pushed a paper cup over toward Tess.
“Thanks.” Tess nodded toward the welcome brew before she fixed her gaze on Flo. “It’s been a while, but I guess there’s no pussyfooting around for you. Straight to the interrogation.”
“Yup. I go for the throat—part of best friend duties. You do look a little stressed. I’d like to think it’s just the hassle of a clogged kitchen drain or the news that your hairdresser is moving, but my money is on something that happened while you shared the cabin at Tahoe or maybe something related to work. ”
Tess sat and looked at Flo while taking a moment to slowly sip the drink. It was either beat around the bush or cut her own jugular and hemorrhage. Well, this was Flo, so she might as well get on with the exsanguination.
“Both,” Tess said. “Tahoe and the courthouse.”
Flo’s brows knit into a contemplative pose. Then her lips puckered, a clear indication that she wasn’t done with the no pussyfooting. “Before we get to the full recital, at least bottom-line things for me. Did you finally get a sex life?”
Tess took a long draw of her drink while she let Flo come to her own conclusions.
Flo had the good grace not to focus on that silent disclosure but simply nodded and moved on. “So do you want to talk about it?”
Tess shared the outline of what had happened in her life in the past weeks—the week at Tahoe with Bree, her early return home, the courthouse encounter with Bree toward the end of that first week back.
Since then, she hadn’t really talked again with Bree.
She’d been catching up from vacation and Bree had been settling in.
Tess wasn’t the kiss and tell type, but even without explicit details, Tess knew that the confusion she was experiencing came through. She waited for Flo’s response.
“You obviously like Bree,” Flo said. “I know who she is, although she’s just moved north.
She’s the sister-in-law of Fred’s cousin Rachelle.
Rachelle’s husband, Hank, is Bree’s brother.
That’s how you both ended up at the family cabin.
You just told me your Tahoe guidelines, so do you want to hear what I know? ”
“Well, the memories came home with me and they’re shattering the rules to rubble. So I guess so.” Tess shrugged.
“Okay. I know she’s divorced and that she was a well-respected criminal defense attorney in LA before she took the judicial appointment, which puts her closer to family—Hank, Rachelle, and their daughter Gabby. I’ve heard hints it was an ugly divorce, and I’ve heard this is a fresh start.”
Tess absorbed this information. It certainly added to what she’d learned from Bree in the lounge the other night. The big question that she kept asking herself was What comes next? Tess wasn’t sure, and she hoped Flo could offer her some guidance.
“With all that personal history, could you blame her if she’s gun-shy?” Flo asked. “It also sounds like she likes you too. Maybe you need to back things up. Figure out where to go from here.”
“I agree, but how do I back up sleeping with her?” The memory of their night together was something Tess couldn’t forget.
She was willing to admit to herself that it had been the best night of her life, but how did you move on from the best night of your life when it was clear that you couldn’t just pick up where you’d left off?
“That was Tahoe. Leave it there for now. Slow things down. I know you’ve probably spent a lot of time thinking about it, but you’ve only really known her, spent time with her, for a week.
A glorious week from what you’ve said, but take some time to figure out where to go from here.
” Flo repeated herself, then she added, “I’ll bet that she’s trying to figure things out too. ”
Tess chewed her lip. She was risking rejection, but the fear of rejection was a big piece of what she’d let control her life. She didn’t want her past.
“What do you have to lose?” Flo asked.
“We’ve both been busy, and we haven’t talked again. I suspect she’s avoided me since she found out who I am. At least not sought me out.”
“And you’ve done the same to her. Good gosh almighty, Tess, you sit in a position that determines people’s futures. Are you just going to walk away from a shot at your own? At least extend an invitation to coffee or lunch—see if she shows.”
Tess rolled the idea around and examined it from a few angles. The thing she kept coming back to was that Bree had slowed things down. Now Tess was fighting all her self-doubts. “She has every right to move on. I’m not going to stalk her.”
Flo contemplated for a moment. “Tess, it doesn’t sound to me like she doesn’t like you. She clearly has a lot on her plate. You could extend the invitation on a professional level, established judge to new judge. The same invite you might offer any new judge.”
“I’ve never taken a new judge to coffee or lunch in my life. I introduce myself politely in the courthouse and shake hands.” Tess’s response had to do with not ignoring the lessons she’d learned in life, not being sure how to move forward. But what Flo was proposing was rational.
“Tell me you’ll seriously think about it.”
Tess considered. She usually respected Flo’s advice. “Okay, I’ll think about it, about making contact with her as a fellow colleague. We’re bound to encounter each other, so a reset.”
“What could it hurt?”
“Just my heart,” Tess muttered under her breath.
Flo placed her hand on Tess’s hand and gently squeezed. “Give yourself a chance, Tess.”